One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

Last week had so much fun stuff that I sort of neglected talking about the baby horse! But we had a minor set back so I'm glad I had other things to post about than just complaining.

It's now been 60 days today since TC has been back in my life full time. Two months feels both like a very long time and no time at all. Really though, it's a very short time.

In that time we've gone from me not being able to ride him without longeing and having my trainer on him first, not being able to ride on my own, and not being able to ride outside of the round pen to being able to ride him around the ranch, work on my own, and ride in the covered arena. So as much as I want to complain that we had a setback in my confidence in him after that bad bolt last Tuesday, the truth is that it's been a very short time and we've come a long way.

Sunset at the barn

I wrote about the bolt on Wednesday of last week, unaware of how it affected me. On Wednesday and Thursday, I was unnerved. I decided on Wednesday that I'd longe the horse first, then ride. He was fine on the longe line, just a couple of little bolts.

When I got on though, I rode terribly. Every little noise (despite blasting music at myself) and every movement made me halt him. He was fine, and actually we did get some really good work done on straightness and throughness to the left. BRH trainer found me and asked if I wanted to take him behind the riding school again and I said no, that I needed regular lessons from him for a few rides.

Thursday I rode too late for a lesson since I had been trail riding Rico. I told myself that he'd get a day off, but then decided that it was a bad idea for either of us to have a day off. We went in a new round pen and I worked him on the longe line in the chambon + side reins, which made a huge difference in how he carried himself on the longe.

He bolted pretty bad twice and we had a long conversation about him not being allowed to just do whatever the fuck he wants. I made him stand, rein back, walk on the line (normally I don't like walking in side reins but they're not short and desperate times, you know), and just be perfect. Undersaddle he felt good but I was still riding him underpowered and was nervous when someone walked out of the barn and TC's head popped up to look at them. Ugh.

Being patient

By Friday I was kind of feeling like shit. I helped a my friend who also has fear problems and a horse with a scoot like TC's  (I mostly seem to be afraid of my own horses vs client horses- horse trainer brain takes over I guess). She was nervous in this one arena so I hopped on, rode the horse around, and she got back on and had a great ride.

We talked about how doing things like that is okay. With fear, it's easy to get caught up in what we SHOULD be capable of doing and push ourselves too much, which causes more fear. It was okay that she had me get on, because then she had a really fun, positive ride and when she comes back out to ride in that arena, she will have that positive experience to think about. It was okay that I spent two days in the round pen petrified of pushing my horse forward.

I reminded her, and myself, that negative experiences are more salient than positive ones. One bad ride has to be eliminated by ten good rides. One REALLY bad ride might take more than ten good ones, depending on how salient the experience was. TC's bolt wasn't horrific, I didn't come off or get hurt, but it was enough to set me back a little. And that's okay. Riding in the round pen for a couple of days is okay.

Not being patient

Once as I had accepted that, I went to watch BRH trainer work with a young horse, only 45 days undersaddle, and then asked for a lesson both Friday and Saturday, possibly Monday and Tuesday as well. The nice thing about part time training is that I can kind of stack lessons up a bit like that to get my confidence back and then take time on my own when things are going well. I swing wildly back and forth thinking that I can do this completely on my own (when he's being good) and wanting to have lessons every day (when he's being bad). So part time training is a good thing.

And I'm glad I did that because both Friday's and Saturday's rides were spectacular and I'm not nearly as nervous as I was.

We warmed up with the same longeing contraption, with BRH trainer and I talking about my issue in the covered arena. We decided to take it slow- on Friday we did all of our work in the round pen and then just walked in the covered. On Saturday we did more.

TC was perfect on the line, no bolting, no naughtiness. I hopped on and we had the absolute best ride we've ever had.

He was just THERE for me in the contact and off my leg. He was straighter than he's ever been. It was like he was constantly asking if he could stretch at all three gaits. I was beaming for most of the ride, and people at the barn who have seen him around stopped to watch him. My farrier was there, who had once told me that was I sure TC was good enough? His butt is very small. And even she was like WOW HE IS SO NICE, when she saw us go in the bad direction. He even gave me the best stretchy trot we've ever had- trotting for three full circles in each direction after the canter.

After the ride in the round pen, BRH trainer and I walked to the covered arena, I just wanted to ride a walk circle in there undersaddle to build trust again. He was good so I hopped off and then spent some time with him giving him a bath.

Love that I can sometimes walk him on a loose
rein around the barn... sometimes

Saturday was another wonderful day. We started with the same work in the round pen on the longe, where TC from the future visited me and showed me how good the canter transitions were going to be. As I was longeing, BRH trainer told me that Tracey had told him that initially she wasn't sure about my horse, but after seeing him on Tuesday, she said she really liked him, said he had a good canter. That gave me a boost.

On him, TC felt amazing in the contact. At this point, we're only having maybe one or two bad walk to trot transitions before he softens and stays on the bit the whole time. The canter to the right felt downright great. I got up in half seat and let him really stretch down in a stretchy canter, which used to be a Second level movement (but you did it sitting, not in half seat). I think it's good for TC to let me move around a bit up there, and he uses his back so nicely when I get off of him, and maintains it when I sit down again. Not really part of my normal dressage training, but I like BRH trainer's input as a racehorse trainer.

Coming back into trot, TC immediately started to stretch. I like that he is sort of teaching himself to do that, since one of the hardest things about some of the Training and First level tests is the placement of the stretch circle after something like a trot lengthening or the canter work. Because of how hard it is conformationally for TC to stretch, he basically gets to stretch whenever he wants to. So if he wants to after the canter, go right on ahead.

The work to the left was okay, made much better by BRH trainer telling me to turn my circle into a square and ride some square turns. Once TC was aware that if he didn't turn, I was going to hoist him around or leave him to hit the fence, he got really soft in his shoulder and was so much more maneuverable. I'm soooo excited for that, since our fake shoulder-in (shoulder-in != haunches out, but I'm riding it like haunches out right now) will be fixed soon.

Topline, slowly but surely!

After the round pen, we headed to the covered ring, where I put TC right to work. No bolting, no bucking, no naughtiness, just good quality work. He felt great in the contact, stayed with me the whole time, and got to stretch in there for the very first time. I saw it in the mirror!! It needs work to be show ready (since in general he tends to get his hind legs out behind him, which is made worse by the stretch), but it's ACTUALLY STRETCHING.

I was beaming as we rode out of the arena and back to the cross ties. Even though I spent a couple days in the round pen, a couple of good lessons later and I was back in the covered feeling so confident. And the extra longeing with the chambon + side reins made a huge difference in TC too. So from now on, I'll just take any bolting that unnerves me (most of it doesn't) as a good chance to give TC a boost in his training on the longe line.

As much as I was upset about the setback, it didn't put me back to the very beginning. I didn't feel scared to ride on my own, I didn't need my trainer to get on him first. But I did confine myself to the round pen and did more longeing than normal. I think that's the definition of two steps forward, one step back. So we're still moving forward. And I'm really excited about that.