Some More Dressage

I've been kind of doing dressage a bit randomly. At least half of my rides are trail rides or practicing obstacles or working on mounted archery, but I have done some dressage rides in between, mostly because TC is fat right now due to the pasture. 

Chonky

Such a good boy

But I have been enjoying it more than I have in a few years. I think taking the pressure off of ever returning to the sport for real has really helped. And I've been working through some of the trauma that I experienced in the last few years that led me toward some crippling perfectionism. It was pointed out that I did this in my job and it paid off, but it doesn't work with my horse. 

I dug in further and was able to point to the incident that sent me down this path with the horse at the end of 2020. It's been long enough now and I've had enough therapy now to be able to see what it did to me and be able to start to let go some of the effects. And that's great! It means I can maybe start rebuilding my enjoyment of dressage earlier than I thought. I still have no desire to return to competition, but I do really love what good dressage does for horses. 

Getting my reachy horse back

Feeling pretty good in the balance for a horse who
would rather be a rhombus

Warm up trot, from this video I saw he was carrying
some tension in the right side of his neck so we've
been working on that since

Most of what I'm working on with TC right now has been the connection and how he's feeling on my seat. My primary goals are that he stays in balance, both laterally and longitudinally, and stays out to the contact. His tendency to throw his balance around and retract his neck to keep himself from succumbing to gravity is still very strong. 

I'm picking a different exercise for each ride and just seeing how it helps or hinders him. There's really no major goal other than to get him to burn some calories, gain some muscle, and be easier to ride. I think he's looking and feeling pretty good right now. It's not perfect but it'll never be. 

Canter isn't the best right now but we'll get there

He's so dirty right now

Always lots of cookies

This coming weekend we may be attending a working equitation clinic. Mostly for more obstacle practice, but I also am not opposed to showing in that discipline. It'd be an excuse to wear my fancy new burgundy jacket on this horse (thanks Nicole who bullied me into buying it because it was super cheap!), or maybe my navy one. And also just more practice with obstacles in the show ring!

Shifting Back

The only major downside about the rain is not being able to schedule lessons more than like four days in advance. I could easily haul out, but I have given up taking lessons in person right now so hauling out would mean invading someone else's arena with my Pivo and hoping the Pivo doesn't follow them around instead of me. 

I love how lifted he is here

Luckily, the bodyworker clinician had time kind of last minute on Monday morning to work with TC and I! This was our first remote session and it came at a great time. TC has been feeling really good but I don't really know where to go next. 

The lesson was fabulous! 

For the last eight weeks since auditing the first clinic, our work hasn't changed much. The main goal has been to gain influence over the lateral balance and build strength in his pectorals and thoracic sling. 

She said he looked really good in that work! I was so happy to hear that, it just feels the same because of how slow the progression has been. But it has actually gotten better. 

This is the softest I've ever seen him go

Our next task is to work on gaining more influence over the longitudinal balance. The lateral balance has been a relatively easy thing for me to feel, but the longitudinal balance has always been tougher on him. 

She said that his center of gravity is pretty permanently shifted forward. He carries his "soul" way out in front of him in his poll. It was interesting that she mentioned that location because I feel like there's a lot of rigidity left just behind his poll even when he's loose and supple everywhere else. 

As we worked through her series of exercises, I started seeing that part of his neck relax and start to twitch a bit. He felt even better in the contact, which I didn't realize was possible. 

He looks so delicate here

We also got permission to canter! I've cantered him a few times but haven't really worked on it. She gave us a really simple exercise, to basically put him in canter until he starts to lose balance, then bring him back to trot and help him regain the balance first laterally and then longitudinally. I realized that the issues I'd been having (him basically wanting to run off and buck OR stopping immediately) were quite possibly due to longitudinal balance and/or energy. If he runs off, he's got his balance too far forward, if he stops, he doesn't have enough energy. 

I told her that we really struggle with having those things at the same time, either he has enough energy but he's on the forehand, or he's balanced but I can't get him in front of my leg. She gave me some really great stuff to work on for that and by the end he felt so soft and supple, yet powerfully uphill. 

Such a good boy

Finally, we briefly chatted about the future task I have at hand. I really need to address his emotional regulation when he is in a state of "readiness" or feeling coiled. He gets fairly explosive and my nerves got shot at the end of last week when he almost launched me from VERY high up in the air. I have my new helmet coming, but I don't ride in spurs anymore (which I am able to anchor myself with if he really launches) and I don't have my big blocked saddle anymore. So I don't really want to deal with the launchy feeling. 

She recommended a trainer who I've met before and actually who I had wanted to work with anyway. This trainer follows the bodyworker's way of doing things, so there will be a lot of overlap and the trainer uses clicker training too! So when this rain storm is over, I'll be reaching out to see if I can get some help with both improving my clicker training and working on his emotional regulation as he learns to shift his weight back. 

Ahh I love him so much

I'm still just so over the moon with this stuff. He feels SO good and now, especially after this lesson, I can see the path forward and it's so exciting. Can't wait to continue down this pathway!

Pony Updates

My personal life imploded about two weeks ago so I am only now starting to catch up on writing blog posts. If you have messaged me in the last two weeks and I haven't responded, please know that time has had very little meaning to me during this time and I am very sorry! 

Things are getting better though! Plus, I've been riding the ponies and I'm excited to share how things are going with them. 

Look at this guy!

First, I've jumped Sunny a few more times since my last post about it. He's starting to do his obnoxious land and launch bullshit again, so my current plan is to get him fitter so that I can take him over to Kate's barn and have her jump him for me. I can sit his launchy bullshit but I don't love it and last time he did it, he tweaked my back. Serves me right for jumping him bareback in tennis shoes. 

But other than his leaping after the fence occasionally, he's been super good! I've finally accessed another gear in his canter (he only had the one when I started riding him) and wow a compact horse is way easier to put together than TC. I can endlessly circle power through his body and catch it in my seat and hand and recycle it back. Next horse needs to have a short back and be at least 300lbs lighter than TC! 

He’s schooling all of First level now and I even started some counter canter the other day. He’s kind of terrible at it so I’m excited to see that develop. My mom has been so excited to see him go and wants to start riding him after she’s finished with physical therapy (there’s a soft tissue injury in her hip I guess? She lost full range of motion but it’s getting better!). I’m really excited to have her ride him. I think if she likes how he’s going, I’ll keep riding him for as long as I can (still waiting on a new job that will probably take away my flexiblity) and then hire one of Kate’s assistants to ride him a few times a week to keep him going for her. She has this habit of not riding him unless he’s in work but to keep him in work, she has to ride him. So I’ll just keep him in work for her! 

Pretty happy with my bareback position given that
I haven't worked over fences without stirrups in
like 12-15 years lol

In front of the vertical, poll up, ah I love it

So, onto TC, what a freaking rock star he's been lately. I've been wondering if there would come a time when I have my horse back or if I'd be working on his postural issues forever. Just this last weekend though, he finally gave me access to his longitudinal balance. That's been something I don't know if I've ever had access to, to be honest. How does someone get to Third level without accessing the horse's longitudinal balance? No idea. I have a lot of opinions about collection and if it’s *actually* shown at the highest levels, but that’s a post for another day. 

For the first time, I think ever, TC is actually carrying weight behind at the trot. I think all of the work we've done over the last year... the six months I rode him off the bit to reset the connection, the saddle changes, all the long lining and clicker training for posture, all of his PT exercises, lots of acupuncture, all the things... well, it's finally paying off. It seems to be, at least. And I'm not taking video every day (limiting myself to once a week) so I've been feeling a lot less crazy. 

Poll highest point, nose IFV, there are lots of things
to like so I'm happy

The trot is going to take a while but his canter is just stellar right now. I feel a canter pirouette in it to the right, which has historically been our trickier side. The left has been a bit tough recently, but the other day, I figured out that it was just an issue that he wouldn't step to the right rein without sliding through it so we fixed that and then it felt great! I think it'll take a while to gain strength on that side. 

We’ve actually been able to work on flying changes too. In our last ride, we did them and they were straight and clean. He definitely doesn’t understand how to keep the quality of the canter through the change, the change puts him on the forehand, so I need to think about some exercises to help him understand how to jump through the change in an uphill balance. But wow working on literally anything but trotting and cantering in circles has been so fun! I'm excited to be utilizing other exercises for the first time in a long time. 

Hind leg ooooo

That neck!

Obviously it’s been a tough time for me in my personal life and it’s not over yet. I figure this blog may go through dark periods during the next couple of months, so I’ll do my best to write a lot of posts when I’m feeling up to it and schedule them over time. We do have some fun things coming up, like next Thursday I might get to buy a saddle!! After I get the saddle, I want to load up on lessons again. I want to see remote trainer for sure and I want to go back to local trainer, especially because her barn is an option for me for the winter. I’m also hoping to see my biomechanics person too. 

And this winter I definitely want to address my SI issues. I have this feeling that my own SI issues are causing some issues in his hind legs, namely my right leg gets sciatica and I’m not convinced that his right hind doesn’t have some sciatica at times as well. He's always itchy on that side but never seems to be able to tell me exactly where he wants to be itched. If that doesn't go away, I might take him to my lameness vet to work him up on that leg, but I'm hopeful that if I address my own issues and take the time to build his strength, we can get through it. At least with my own sciatica, strengthening my core and back helped a lot. 

So, fingers crossed for the saddle and for continuing along this path with my wonderful horse! 

Filling in Holes

I'm excitedly preparing for the first show of the year in a few weeks and this year's goals are looking a bit different than previous years. I've always stuck with the "one level a year" protocol. In 2017, we did Training, in 2018, we did First, in 2019, we did Second, and in 2020, we did Third. Theoretically we should be aiming to do Fourth level this year, but after a tough year with the pandemic, I've decided that I just want to stay at Third level and have a good time. 

I mean, there are definitely good reasons to stay at Third. TC has some holes in the level that I would normally have addressed over the fall and winter, but we got derailed with the fires, the smoke, and then turning my training program on its head and changing trainers. 

The holes are all things that are going to impact our ability to move up to Fourth, so I figured rather than sitting around waiting for Fourth, we'd work on those holes and continue at Third level for regionals. Kill two birds with one stone basically, put in the work to prepare for Fourth while still getting to show at a level below and enjoy the work being relatively easy. 

I figured I'd chat about where these holes are! This will help me be able to look back on them as we approach regionals and a lot of these holes are going to be necessary to fill in so that we can move up to Fourth level. 

More pictures of the trail because that's the most
important thing at this point lol 

Throughness & Balance in the Changes

TC's changes have come on clean and fairly straight, but the throughness and balance have always been an issue in addition to him not always being completely on my aids. We are going to work HARD this year getting those single changes picture perfect. That means that he jumps through the back and stays more uphill (or at least level!) in the changes. 

For Fourth level, obviously the changes need to be so confirmed that we can do tempi changes out of them. We need to end up doing three tempis at Fourth and while I can get him to do fours, they aren't easy peasy, they depend a lot on the quickness of my aids and me picking up the pieces after every change. 

Collection

Collection is a tough thing for TC and it really bit us in the ass last year. I don't like it when comments talk about the basics. I like it when comments say things like "needs more bend in the half passes" or "could show more difference in the medium canters" or something movement related. When comments talk about basics, that's no fun. So this year my goal is to eliminate those comments about his level of collection. 

For Fourth level, we are obviously going to need collection, lots more of it too. He needs to show collected walk and canter pirouettes, he also needs to show more collection in trot as well. That canter to halt transition on centerline is also going to be tough for us, even canter to walk on a straight line is hard at this point! Definitely working on this, probably the most. 

Such a good boy

Bigger Show Facilities

One of the things I've avoided thus far is going to big shows with TC. We go to rated shows, sure, but they're local rated shows, smaller ones. Shows with two rings going at the most, usually just one. Shows we can haul into and haul out of in one day. Shows without much atmosphere. But this year, I want to tackle that, and tackle it at a level where we have enough stuff going on to entertain us but not so much that I can't hoist him through the test. I'm hoping that by the end of this year, he'll be happy to show wherever! 

At Fourth, we could still show locally, obviously, but I'd really like to go to some of these bigger shows a few times a year and feel confident that he could show there even at the harder levels. I don't think he'll be my CDI horse, I don't know if I want the pressure myself! But if he would be, I want to start tackling these bigger shows with more atmosphere at this relatively simple level first. 

In Front of the Leg at Shows

It was interesting to see how behind the leg TC was at our shows in 2020. I think that it was the way I was riding him, because he was rather sticky at home as well and now he's hot to my leg aids. But I still want to get a bit more of a "conductor" feeling in the show ring at Third level rather than having to chase him around the ring picking up the pieces. I'll be curious if he's back to normal at our first show of this year or if it takes him a few shows to feel like he can stay in front of me. 

There's NO way that we are going to get through any of the Fourth level tests without him staying in front of my leg. I can't imagine riding a canter pirouette if I'm having to hoist him along like I was doing last year. So that will have to get better before his Fourth level debut! 

It's so pretty when it's green!

Reliability in the Walk Pirouettes

So, our first walk pirouettes at our first show last year were 8s and 9s, mostly 9s actually! But then in our second show, TC stuck for the first time ever and we got 4s and 5s on them. That was SUCH a bummer because we still scored so well and we could have nudged those scores up. I don't know exactly what happened there but we haven't schooled them much this winter so I still need to figure it out.  I'll be working on getting these solidly in the 8-9 range again and reliably there. 

The walk pirouettes need to carry us for Fourth level for a while. I just don't see this horse getting a reliable canter pirouette on him for a while, so showing the judge that I DO in fact know how to ride a pirouette and gathering some scores that make up for the lower pirouette scores at first will be helpful to have. 

Lengthen the Neck

Similar to the behind the leg problem, TC was also getting short in the neck in our 2020 shows. He was being ridden short in the neck at home though, so I think that now that I'm getting his neck longer, he'll stay that way in the show ring. But it's definitely on my to do list to get "short in the neck" off the comments section of our tests. 

Oh man, for Fourth level, it's going to be tough to not get that neck back at me as we add the more collected movements like pirouettes or the more technical movements like the zig zag or tempi changes. If I can't keep his neck long through a Third level test, it's never going to happen at Fourth level and I could see him getting himself so retracted in the neck that we simply can't perform some of the movements (esp tempis and canter pirouettes). 

And more trails too!

So while it feels like we're stagnating at Third level doing the same thing two years in a row, I really firmly believe that we need this additional year to lay the groundwork so that we can do Fourth level, and really the FEI levels, successfully. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast, after all!

After these last few lessons and how TC has been going, I'm feeling more and more confident that this is just what we need and that there will be nothing stopping us from dominating at Fourth level and beyond. 

Uphill

Friday of last week was our first day back working specifically on the flying changes. We haven't schooled them regularly since August and while they've definitely been better, he's doing them consistently clean and on my aids, so great! And what is true now about them that has been true in the past though is that they remain croup high. 

Basically in a flying change, you want the front and hind end to be at least level, if not have the front end above the hind end. But a lot of horses, mine included, changes with his ass in the air, pulling himself into the new lead with his front end. Honestly, most horses get them put on like this so it wasn't a big deal to me that my somewhat on-the-forehand horse changed... on the forehand. Even Rico's changes got downhill sometimes in the beginning. 

But in looking forward toward Fourth level and above, I know that I want the tempi changes to be a highlight (and also, you know, possible), so this year, because we're sitting at Third level for most of it, I want to make sure that his single flying changes are perfect. And that means teaching him to sit down in them and stay uphill. 

Probably the last screenshots for a while

The fact that we can now set up for a change and then I can tell him "no, not like that" and have him give me a relaxed, obedient change after that is really good news. A lot of the time, changes aren't particularly relaxed, so making changes to the way they are done is HARD. I'm battling that with a client's horse right now and it's tough. But TC is so agreeable that I tell him "not like that" and he goes "okay I'll try!" because that's his answer to everything ever. 

I started by doing them on the diagonal and sitting in a way that would suggest a school canter, but pushing him forward into a collected canter. This allowed me to really weight the back edge of my seat bones in the moment that his haunches were the most lowered (and when he should be striking off on the new lead). 

He knows on the diagonal that I might ask him to change, so he propped his butt up against me and we did a ten meter circle until he'd go across the diagonal without a butt prop. Then I asked for the change and got a butt prop so he got a ten meter circle. And then finally I got a truly uphill flying change and it was downright magical. 

No butt props, TC!

There are times where my funny horse, who makes me want to pull my hair out in some ways, just casually sits down and gives me things that feel just as good, if not better, than Rico. And that change was one of those times! I made a big deal out of him to inspire him to continue to do the thing in that way and he DID. 

He still needed some reminders when he'd prop up against me, but after a while, more changes than not were uphill and balanced properly. We didn't do a huge number of them, just a few each way, but I felt very good about keeping this on our to do list once a week for a while until they were balanced all the time. 

From that change, it feels like everything through the 2s would be possible. I'm still getting a little dislodged in them but that's on me, not him. Once I get my shit together and these changes are his regular changes, we'll get to play with the tempi changes! He's done fours before but it was not an easy feat for him, it took a lot of organization and timing on my part. 

What I tell the SO when he has to deal with my
"disgrace" of a car lol 

I want his tempis to be like Rico's, easy to ride with not too much thinking required. It really matters in the upper levels to have some "gimme" movements where you don't have to use your brain. Using your brain for an entire FEI test is impossible. With Rico, the zig zag and the changes were always a time where I could turn my brain off and relax for a second. I want at least the tempis to be a time where I can relax on this horse! 

Shifting the Balance Back

I somewhat unexpectedly had a lesson yesterday! At my own barn! 

So, unfortunately, my remote lesson setup isn't working well, so I'm stuck fighting with it in between lessons with Tanya once a month. Tanya says she's going to bring her setup down next week so we can play with it and see whether my setup is just garbage or whether it's the signal. 

I got a text from Tracey, who I've ridden with on and off for years, saying that she'd be in the area and asking if I wanted a lesson. I guess she's starting to travel to teach again and wants to come back! I hemmed and hawed because TC just adores Tanya and while Tracey is absolutely fabulous, Tanya just GETS this horse in a way no other trainer has, you know?

I responded and said yes, I'd try a lesson but that TC and I are out of shape, just playing with working gaits.

She did a good job with us in 2019

Up until the day before, I wasn't sure the lesson was happening because it just kind of seemed too good to be true that I'd get two lessons so close together. Is that just me? But she confirmed and then showed up mostly on time! Excellent!

There was a minor issue in that I forgot my headphones at home from my conversation with Tanya and Tracey didn't have headphones, so my barn owner got me some (thanks BO! She's awesome). So the lesson started a little late, which was fine because 45 minutes of work was too much anyway. 

He's much more forward at home now

The lesson was great! All my work since Tanya and I chatted has made TC much better in the contact and she really had nothing to say in that department. I told her about him getting btv sometimes and she said that, while that's obviously not desirable in the long term, it was more important for me to keep the connection than to throw the reins away hoping he'd stay in front of the vertical. What we mostly worked on because of the connection being so good was the balance shift from the working gaits to the collected gaits. That was super helpful!

In both walk and trot, I'm very comfortable sending him forward but not always comfortable bringing him back from the forward. This leads to me wanting forward, getting forward, and then just... doing nothing else. So she wanted me to school a wider range of trots, but especially the smaller ones, and insist that he stay on the contact the entire time. I think I ride him forward and over the ground because that's where he feels best in the contact and in front of my leg. But this also leads to him rolling over his shoulder, leaving his feet on the ground for too long, and being a little out behind. 

This really matches what Tanya has me do and is a huge step forward in my understanding of why I can't replicate Tanya's work at home. In lessons with Tanya, we do ride a wide spectrum of trots, and in my work at home, I only ride maybe three quarters of the spectrum (on the bigger side). So it was great to hear all that from a different source. 

He was so dark and cute last year

While that was the main part of the lesson, we also worked on a few other things:

- I am not allowing him to reach around to the left rein when tracking right, my left hand holds him back too much and he just leans in. Wow, that's a shocker, seriously. I've been feeling like he needs to stand up more on that side but didn't realize that my solution was the reason why he couldn't stand up straight. So we worked on getting his left ear to push forward and to get my left side to be a little more elastic. 

- When tracking left, he isn't nearly bending enough and she says that's because he's a little out on the right shoulder. She had me put him into a slight counter flexion, which was a little different than the renvers I normally school to get him more even in the contact, but still worked well and helped him step more into the left rein. 

- Walk pirouettes were good but the left one needs more bend, I tend to fall off the outside on that side. I told her they get 8s and 9s when they don't stick (and that was a fluke) and she said "I believe it, they're very good" but that I also didn't feel like they were entirely rideable and she said "I'd believe that too" 

- In the right lead canter, my shoulders move too much, I need more stability in them to help him stay up in front. She said that the canter (both sides) was quite good though! She wanted him more collected but then I reminded her that he'd cantered like four times in the last month. 

- She wanted me to school more half steps in the transition from trot to walk. I could feel the exact moment he dropped his back (thank you equibands, more on that below) in the transition and that's the trot he's weak on. So she had me ask him to come back to walk, then push him forward when I felt him start to drop his back. 

- She was very happy with how much he went to the bridle that she encouraged me to push his nose out a little more! He first needs to connect and be stretched to the contact, but then, and only when that is reliable and remains reliable, I should push his nose out and reestablish the connection a little lighter. It still needs to feel good and be rideable, because a lot of the time when I go to establish a lighter connection, he retracts the neck or curls, but that's a good goal to have as we start some of the higher level work. 

The right lead has always been tricky

Another thing to note about this lesson is that it was my first ride without the equibands since I got them. And HOLY SHIT. He's a different horse. I have always struggled to sit his trot because of how enormous and bouncy it is and now I can, even though I'm painfully out of shape (I mean, my abs were burning, but I wasn't struggling nearly as much as I expected). Turns out that it was hard to sit because his core wasn't engaged nearly enough. His canter is also totally different, way easier to collect, way easier to maneuver. Just a few weeks of mostly light work in the bands completely changed my horse. Ridiculous. Best couple hundred dollars I've ever spent, I think!

In addition, like I said above, it's given me a whole new feel for when his core is engaged and when it isn't. I was first introduced to this when I had a lesson with Anne and she asked me if I had both long back muscles, I said I wasn't sure. Then she asked me if I had his core. And then I realized that I didn't know what that even felt like but I knew I didn't have them. Now, with the equibands, his core is always engaged, so I can feel the difference very clearly now when he does drop out from under me.

He's always been SUCH a hard horse to feel things on and it's taken me a long time to influence him. He only just this year gave me access to his hind legs. Now I have access to his core. For the longest time, I thought it was just me, until I would get on other horses and be able to pick out exactly where every body part was at any given moment. It's taken a long time but I finally have access to/influence over most of his body! Thank you equibands. 

Back before I could feel his hind legs or his core

Generally it was a fabulous lesson, I wish I had video but that's okay. I think she is going to try to come out twice a month, so that plus my monthly Tanya lessons should hold me over while I'm figuring out my remote setup! 

Back Undersaddle

I rode my horse yesterday! Like in an enclosed space! For the first time in a week and a half or so.

I stopped riding him mostly because of my own issues, I was getting frustrated and that's not the way to deal with a horse with a lot of tension.

Since my last arena ride, he's gone on a few trail rides and also been chiropracted (thanks Kate for arranging it!) where he was deemed as being pretty messed up. He was struggling with his lumbar area, which was basically frozen. It's a normal thing for him, though I didn't realize how bad it had gotten. Definitely getting her out regularly for a while!

I opted to ride him in the round pen, which kept me in a better mindset than I think the covered arena would.

Round pen! 

My main goals recently have been to get TC more comfortable in self carriage. Both in the bridle and just being able to pick up the trot and not just get faster and faster and faster. He needs to be in charge of his own balance. In addition, I want to feel like my aids go through him and he stays with me.

I've watched two of Kate's recent lessons with new trainers and both of them have very different perspectives (one isn't a dressage trainer actually) that made me think about TC's situation and I applied things from them on Monday.

I started at the walk on a loose rein. When TC would get distracted, I would take the inside rein and bring him around on a small circle (trainer 1) to redirect him. Rather than add tension when he's distracted, I just changed the subject and insisted that he stay with me without closing any doors (outside rein remained loose). TC slowly relaxed a bit and while it wasn't as dressage-oriented as it will eventually need to be, I did feel like he stayed with me and was way softer (in a non-dressage way) than he had started out.

Lots of grass in the paddock (well, not anymore)

From there, I did some turns on the forehand (trainer 2) to help him loosen up his lumbar area and be able to put my leg on him without him zipping off. I also paired this with a rein aid. Trainer 2 is probably not someone I will ride with, but she did have a really good point to say that she likes to pair the rein aid with engagement of the hindquarters, so then when you use the rein, the horse thinks with their hind feet. I was able to use my inside rein in combination with my inside leg to ask him to step over with his inside hind leg and I could feel him soften both to the rein aid and over his back.

We picked up the trot to the left and it felt really great, he still wants to get charging though, but his whoa button is real sharp right now, so I didn't feel like I had to hold him back so much with the reins.

To the right though, complete disaster. I switched to sitting trot and got the familiar zippy feeling before I came back to walk and worked on the turns again. I kept him in the turn on the forehand (which is way more like shoulder-in on a small circle than an actual turn on the forehand) from rein and leg aid and then asked him to trot and holy shit, he stayed with me for the first time tracking right in a long time. It was hard for him, but instead of running off, he just walked when he got fatigued. If he got quick, I could increase the angle of the turn and he'd get his hind legs under him and slow down. All of this with minimal connection on the outside rein, so he never got to that claustrophobic place where he wanted to bust through the reins.

Portrait mode is endlessly entertaining to me

It wasn't perfect and we have SO LONG to go before I really feel like I can ride him for real again, but the point is that we had a really positive, fun ride with no major bolting or tension.

My plan is to continue working on this stuff until it becomes way more ingrained, and then back off to a schedule that still includes long lining at least once a week (also a trail ride!). With him out in the paddock too, days off can happen more often without me feeling bad about it. So I think his life will be very different this year.

Generally I'm feeling really good about this progress. I've been working a lot on myself with taking off the pressure of showing (and showing because I want to not because I feel obligated to) and just freaking enjoying my horse and the process of training him. It's been a really fun few weeks and I'm looking forward to returning to dressage with a better mindset and a horse with a better foundation!

Upright Spinal Processes

I had two really amazing rides on TC this last weekend. We're working hard on the stuff I learned from Alexis and Kate recently, as well as making sure that all of our First level stuff is set for what will hopefully be our first shows this month.

He's like "please just put me away"

One thing that I didn't mention about Kate coming to visit is that she rode TC. She ended up riding him on a day that was NOT a good day to ride him. TC is generally really a good boy, but there are days where he can be rather unrideable. It's usually when stuff is going on around him that he wants to look at/spook at and he gets himself all in a tither and just can't be with you right now. Kate rode him beautifully through it, I told her when I got on that she better keep a lid on him or she'd be getting run away with. Then I kinda just left her to her own devices and talked to Nicole. Poor Kate. But she is one of our stickiest friends so...

Aside from riding him through some shit, Kate said some words that really resonated with me. She said that TC's spinal processes were almost always pointed right.

This is 110% caused by my right thigh not being on my horse for however many weeks/months/years/forever. I've made lots of room for his spine to be tilted to the right. This really clarified a few things for me:

1) TC feels way more balanced to the left but is harder to get a feeling of throughness on
2) TC's left circle feels more balanced but his right one is easier to get smaller
3) TC's right lead feels like it's on the forehand more often than the left

It also makes sense as to why I have so much practice pulling my right leg up, his body just disappears below it so it feels like I have to reach up to put my leg on, which takes my thigh off even more, making him lean more. Dressage is fun.

I still think he looks so awkward, but at least he's getting a neck
and a booty!

That, and Kate's assertion that I need to stop pulling on the left rein, made a huge difference moving forward. I feel like I can actually ride him to the left. I still super want to pull on the left rein but I'm resisting it pretty well I think.

Since fixing this issue and really drilling the canter work, TC has been feeling great. Both Saturday and Sunday we tackled some of the stuff from First level, including leg yields, lengthenings, and stretchy trot.

After our wander around the field on both days, we played around with some trot work in warm up. I'm mostly doing circles and changing directions in trot to help myself notice the spinal processes and to get him loosened up and stretching into contact. It's really apparent when changing directions where the spinal processes are pointed, and I'm trying to keep them upright. Having something like that to think about gets my right thigh on him a bit better than just thinking about putting it on. Feeling the difference in his balance is really motivating.

The circles have been something that I've been neglecting. It gets easy to ride on a bunch of straight lines in the big arena amidst all the jumps, so I've started using certain areas where there isn't a ton of room to try to fit circles in. We start with big ones and then work our way down toward 10 meters. At 1-1 and 1-2, we don't really need the full circles at that size, but 1-3 has one in each direction. He can do them, but it's hard to compress the trot enough without losing cadence or energy. So we work our way down and I try to focus on continuing to kneel into the trot so he maintains energy and cadence in the smaller steps.

After those circles, we usually canter. I've been forcing myself to do the lengthened canter a bit more, so after a few 15 meter circles, we played with it. In talking with Alexis, she noted that if the horse was going to act up in the canter lengthening because they were a dork like mine, she didn't really ride them. Going away from the judge, they can't really see the difference between no lengthening and a conservative lengthening, so they will often just throw you a 6-7 score and say "needs more" or something. I'm not one for half assing it, but I'm going to keep that in my back pocket.

The lengthenings aren't bad, actually. We can really push for a lot in the big arena without having to worry about it as much as in a smaller arena. He's playing less in it and we haven't had our patented turn-lengthening-into-bolt maneuver in a long while. He's also not the worst at coming back from it, maybe due to all the times I had to slow him down when he has done such antics.


After the canter work, it was time for trot lengthenings. I really wish I had mirrors, because it feels really good but this horse often feels good and looks terrible in things like this. I focused as much as I could to maintain a bit of carrying in the hind legs, since his tendency is to push his hind legs out behind him and fling his knees up to hold his balance. The connection felt good, so I think we avoided that.

My own tendency in the lengthenings is to let go of my thigh and pick my legs up a bit too much. I think this is left over from Rico and also that TC is still green in them so he still thinks "oh, faster? Cool!" rather than understanding that the lengthenings are a thing we do. I can't quite plop him into it yet. It's like when he was learning leg yield and it was just kind of a drift, vs now he confidently leg yields over.  That just takes time, so we're going to be doing a lot of lengthenings!

Leaning on my right thigh, well, where my right thigh would
be if I put it on

I threw in some leg yields amidst the trot lengthenings too. The leg yields feel pretty good these days, I absolutely drilled the lateral work at my old barn with the mirrors, so I think we're staying pretty straight in them. TC is also pretty good about steepening the leg yields or making them more shallow. If I have a complaint about them, it's that they still tend to lose cadence in them. I really need to do some long leg yields in posting trot and kind of hassle him over a bit.

He's quite good at the zig zag from 1-3, though I need to get in a court to see how I'm actually doing with the geometry of that movement. For some reason there's not much issue for him to be leg yielding one way and for me to just swap the other direction. He even does half pass zig zags in trot no problem. I really hope this bodes well for the upper level canter half pass zig zags, though I've found that those can be more dependent on the quality of the change than the quality of the trot zig zag... we'll see.

Overall, some super nice work out of this young horse. He's figuring out all the First level stuff nicely, and is even schooling a bit of Second (walk to canters when he breaks and I'm annoyed; canter to walks when he's quite balanced, walk pirouettes, counter canter, shoulder-in, and haunches-in). And we're of course continuing to school all the basics, lots of transitions (esp trot to canter, we gotta make those perfect) and figures.

Happy pony

I have HUGE NEWS. Well, for me. I am taking my first lesson on TC this Monday evening! There was an opening in a local clinic with a trainer I've been wanting to ride with and they were going to have to cancel it without another rider. I offered but said I had no way of getting to the facility so she offered to come to me! Barn owner agreed and said that we could write it on the board to get other people interested too. I'm really hoping this becomes a thing that we do, since one of the few downsides in my barn is that it's not infested with dressage trainers.

Enjoyment at Canter

Good news! The introduction to my thesis (currently hovering around 40 pages of writing- 50 pages including title page, abstract, my own table of contents with hyperlinks because it's impossible to navigate, and 5-6 pages of references) is nearly finished.

I will be done with the introduction by the end of next week and it will be turned into my advisor while I start the rather more difficult analysis portion of my thesis. Luckily a lot of the articles I'm looking at I already went over in my introduction so most of this is just filling in what I already know, categorizing everything into a ridiculously large table (that won't fit on one or maybe even two pages, how the hell is it going to be printed?!), and beginning the arduous process of critiquing the literature and the theory.

I'm torn between feeling like wanting to hug the thing because it's the greatest thing (not the longest thing... yet) I've ever written and/or wanting to print it out and set it on fire just to see it destroyed while I laugh maniacally at it. I may or may not be having a big bonfire after I turn it in. If it ever gets turned in.

To celebrate hitting the "halfway" (hahahaha) mark, some of my
favorite thesis related cartoons

Wednesday I got a late start to the day but it was nice and cool so that wasn't a problem at all. Now if only it would rain a little bit...

TC was back to normal on the ground, stood patiently while I brushed and tacked him up. He also didn't yank his feet out of my hands or try to lay down while I was picking them. Progress! Or just a good day amidst some crazy days.

Our ride ended up being quite fun. He started out a bit resistant because we rode with Ali and TC is obsessed with knowing where her horse is at all times. I had to kick him into gear a few times before he connected and felt great.

This legitimately happened to some of my friends, except they
have to resubmit in the summer! WTF!

He was about even on both sides, which made changing directions really fun. I could put him into the new outside rein easily (well, we had some issues to the left but he responded well to a small circle and spiraling out so that was easily resolved) and he's getting so easy to ride off of my seat and leg alone.

To the right, I've been addressing moving him off of my left rein and leg, mostly due to the issues we've had in the canter. He's easily manageable in the trot and walk, but I wanted him to be even lighter off my left thigh and rein. So I found myself automatically playing with the first few basic points of walk pirouettes. There was no bend and I'm sure the mechanic was wrong, but I wanted him to essentially keep his haunches where they were (without sticking of course) while I moved his shoulders in front of them. I like that more than trying to push his haunches behind his shoulders.

Basically every time I work on my thesis

This helped tremendously at the canter to the right. Actually, both leads were downright FUN to ride. He's been progressing in the canter really well lately and I seem to be keeping track of it by describing in a dramatic fashion how it feels like to ride:

- at first he felt like both of us were going to die at any point, like he was going to somersault over his face and land on my body and murder me while breaking his own neck
- then he felt like we were merely going to fall over, usually to the inside but occasionally on his face, but I would probably live and he may not break his neck
- then he felt like we were only going to fall over in corners but the rest was uncomfortable, corners became something to fear and long sides felt like I was riding a boulder down a mountain
- then he was uncomfortable all the time, like riding said boulder
- then it was just mild frustration at lack of steering and occasional uncomfortableness
- NOW it's getting fun

He's so much more balanced and comfortable. For the first time, especially left, but we got moments to the right too, I felt like I could relax into the saddle. Normally I feel like I'm having to run around collecting his limbs and putting them back on his body before one flies off again and I have to run after it. No time to relax. No fun.

This is the most true thing I've ever read, I'm on
Thesis_Draft_2.3 right now

But it was actually fun. Except when he went cantering sideways after Ali's horse, but hopefully that will go away soon... I let him be done with that, as there no point in pushing him for more.

On the way back to the barn, he demonstrated how much of a good boy he is. After Monday's ride where he took off out of the riverbed, this time he quietly walked out without even thinking of trotting/cantering out, even when Ali's horse was ahead of us. He just wants to be good. He wants to have fun and all, but his main goal in life (right now...) is to make me happy.

Rico's main goal was to do the least amount of work possible, it's kind of a nice change. But don't tell Rico.

This is the sole reason why I manage to keep up with this blog

Trail ride on Friday!! Job interview in 25 minutes!

Appropriately Uphill

I wanted to write a little something to acknowledge the horrible situation that Lauren is going through. Reading her blog is always a joy and even through her pain, you can really tell how beautiful a writer, rider, and person she is in every post. I wish her all the best in getting through this hard time. And yet, despite the sadness, it's amazing to see how so many bloggers have come together to support her. I'm so glad to be a small part of this community. 

Here's an adorable bay nose to segway to a
more positive post

After my dissection of the canter, there are lots of interesting suggestions for new blog posts! If I don't make my thesis deadline, I know who to blame!! I really enjoy the discussion that those posts spark and I find that it's a nice change from writing about how TC won't turn right and won't bend left and how cantering on a twenty meter circle is an unreachable goal.

Alright, back to our regularly scheduled baby horse posts. 

Today I headed out to the barn to discover that TC was harassing his roommate (who is a camp horse) over the fence where his roommate was tied. Apparently TC has been harassing all the camp horses (who are tied along his fence) for the last few weeks- grabbing the stirrups on the saddle, biting their halters, and generally being kind of a jerk. He's a lot braver when the horses he's bothering are tied up and on the other side of a fence. He's in for it if any of them get the chance to get him back.

Enjoy some shots from a couple of years ago at the Salinas
National Wildlife Preserve because I'm lacking in TC media

I tacked him up and noticed that he's been very good lately about not running me over while bridling. What a nice change, since most of the time I get dragged around the barn until I get his noseband done up where I can use it as leverage.

Because of camp, we had to walk over to the neighbor's arenas. Of course as I walked out of the barn to get on, we pass a huge herd of campers who are wandering around with pitchforks cleaning paddocks. TC couldn't decide if they were scary or not so he just stared at them and snorted, then wouldn't stand still for me to get on because herds of tiny children are SO interesting. I miss Rico.

When I finally climbed on, he was pretty good walking next door. He thinks that the little gully is the most fun thing ever to ride through, he carefully walks down the hill and then actually tried to canter up the other side today. I think I've got a lower level event horse on my hands here!

Wish it hadn't have been so foggy, there wasn't much saturation
to the pictures so I struggled to edit them

Once in the arena, TC was great. I walked around with Ali and told her about the show (boo) and the clinic (yay) and she was supportive of me taking him. He technically still isn't mine so I want to make sure we're all on the same page about what he's doing and when. 

While we were walking, I worked on keeping him forward to the contact, because TC loves to suck back at the walk and get climby. He felt really good by the time we trotted and that was all ruined by the most horrendous walk to trot transition ever. He kind of hopped into trot and then darted left. So we did it again. And again.

He just struggles with them, I think it's that he struggles with being forward enough in the walk and he knows I want him to be prompt about his transitions so when I ask him to go, he just throws himself at the new gait without thinking.

So foggy! 

We worked on circles and figure-8s, addressing my position problems and his alignment problems. By the end of our trot work, I was feeling pretty good. I was no longer anticipating the bad in that direction and he was responding well. Phew.

Into canter he also leapt. And I mean LEAPT. He kind of leaned back on his haunches, which I appreciated for exactly one tenth of a second because he then used his new found balance to basically jump an invisible 3' fence into the canter. I promptly stopped him and told him not to do that. Then he figured out how to canter without leaping. I do love how uphill he is into the transitions now (despite them being totally crooked and off the bit), but there is a fine line between leaping and being appropriately uphill that he enjoys walking along.

We cantered left first and went around once. We were coming across the arena when Ali passed in front of us and headed the opposite way. TC thought that hanging out with Ali's horse was more fun than what we were doing at that point, so he gave me a gorgeous uphill clean flying change and carried on toward Ali's horse in the opposite direction.

I… I was shocked. Like I know he did it to be an asshole so he could chase after Ali's horse, but it was a freakishly good change. I actually just stopped and gave him a pat. I know that's totally just asking for more antics like that, but if that's how he acts up from now on, I'd be super happy!

We returned to the left lead after that, though a huge part of me wanted to set him up for a flying change and see if he'd offer it to me, but I decided against it. Charlotte Dujardin has said that she plays with changes on her young horses just in case, so I might play with them earlier than I thought I would.

The left lead is getting pretty good. He's slowing down and definitely more balanced. He is struggling with the roundness though, so I think it's time for an artificial aid to come into play. I'll start with the chambon on the longe line and see what that does for him, then we may graduate to something a little more helpful.

These birds were so cool

The right lead is excellent. He was prompt with the transition, stayed pretty well balanced and was easier to steer than usual. In general he's a lot rounder to the right, so I want to start working on a  pseudo canter stretch circle (which used to exist at Second level but was taken out) to get him a little more rideable. Hopefully the longeing in the chambon will help that side too.

In general I think we need to be doing more canter. Honestly there is just so much to work on with him that I get caught up in the trot with the straightness and the connection and the bend and the energy and the balance... 

We only do 30 minute rides 3-4x per week and I know that's good enough for him. He's a young four mentally and physically. He has a lot of confidence issues, he carries a lot of tension in his body, and he gets huffy about stuff (he shuts down very easily when he is pushed too hard). So I do know that going slow is the best thing for him. But ugh it's just not enough time to work on everything. I need to figure out what are the most important things and focus on those things.

As I said above, in terms of trot vs canter, I'm struggling to find out the perfect balance. Part of me thinks that we need to get the trot manageable first, then really drill the canter because if the trot is bad, the canter will be bad. The other part of me thinks that if he isn't used to working at the canter, life is only going to get harder as we go on and he actually DOES have to work. I'm leaning toward the latter at the moment. 

Love taking pictures of these birds!

Overall I was really pleased with him today. Hopefully I can sneak into the arena to longe over the weekend because camp is taking the ring all week and the round pen's footing can be questionable. On Friday the camp is doing their little horse show again so if I can get in there before their show, we can do some more canter poles! 

And tomorrow, because my lessons don't start until the evening, Rico and I are going on a trail ride! I can't wait, he's the best trail partner ever. Hopefully we won't find ourselves wandering through any golf courses this time... 

Climbed atop an old barge