Closing in on the Answer - The Saddle

Alright, I kind of went over briefly how much better TC is doing but I wanted to dedicate an entire post to it. 

Tracks are a little overgrown but still
remain my favorite thing I've done at
the ranch in a while

Essentially, things somewhat took a turn for the worse in March just because of the winter and my travel schedule. That's totally fine, I wasn't too bummed about it, but it made me realize that I need to give TC more consistency when I am out of town, so I decided to try to find someone to ride TC during those times. 

Basically what happened was that he came out a bit lame one day on his left hind, which is normal when he has been out of work, and especially if it has been raining and he's been locked on his paddock (which is 50' long, it's not a small paddock, but he's used to moving around a lot in his pasture). Normally, I give him a couple days off with some bute on board, then I kinda just push him through it and add hill work. Typically he's better within the week. But this time, pushing him through it resulted in him feeling WORSE later on in rides vs better. So rather than just taking a little longer to warm up, he was getting progressively more uneven throughout the ride. 

So that warranted starting our rehab over a bit and dropping from 15-20 minutes of trot back to 30 second trot sets adding up to like 5 minutes of trot. 

Hill work: required

Meanwhile, Kate and I were talking saddles. She learned SO much at her Stubben training and I was in Uruguay in the back of a van being schlepped across the country when she downloaded most of it to me. It blew my mind, specifically the following with regards to TC:

- The shorter tree points of my previous saddle (not the old Custom, but the non-Custom custom one I'd ordered a few years ago) definitely were what destroyed his shoulder. He was going well in fall 2021 and then that saddle came through and cut into his shoulder blade. Poor boy. That made the balking much worse. 

- My current saddle, the Pegasus, is fine, but it is still probably a bit too much pressure around the withers, TC has humongous withers (not super tall but just a lot of surface area) and most saddles sit way too close to his spine/withers. When there is pressure on the sides of the wither, there is a bundle of nerves that gets crushed and this causes horses to want to stop. It's the same bundle of nerves that stallions bite when they breed mares. 

- There is a bundle of nerves probably right under where my girth lands on his side, which can also be irritating to him. He's always been funny about girths, he wants his girth quite tight, and I wonder if this is why.

- TC is actually quite narrow, I feel like he's been in trees that were too wide for him a lot of his life. This can also put pressure on the wither area, which again causes horses to want to stop. 

He loves an audience

A few weeks ago, Kate was in town and I wanted to kill two birds with one stone, so she brought a client's saddle out AND one of her advanced riders. We put the saddle on TC and I took the first half of the lesson, then her rider got on and we did a quick evaluative ride so that when I was in Ireland, she could ride TC for me so that he didn't get a week off. 

I got on TC in the saddle and immediately felt a huge difference in the contact, TC was RIGHT there, which was a really good sign. He's never just... in the contact. He's been a really complicated horse in the contact for a long time, he struggles to reach evenly to both reins, he likes to retract the neck, and he drops through the base of his neck quite a bit. Except not anymore, because apparently ALL of that was caused by saddle fit. And it's not like he hasn't been in well fitted saddles (at least, fit professionally) for most of his life. 

We picked up trot and he was quite happy to do so without contorting his body. Just a week before, I was lamenting to Kate that he was getting stuck in a new corner, balking a bit, but in the new saddle, he was happy to step right through the corner.

It's just EASY what the hell

We put her rider on and he was... so unbelievably smug. First of all, he loves an audience, and second, he loves a kid. She's an adult, but a young adult, and I could tell from his facial expression that he thought his dreams were coming true, that she was going to be his new kid (young adult). His ears were pressed very far forward as they do when he is excited, so far forward that they were almost facing each other. 

And Kate had her ask him for some more advanced movements than I had in a while - shoulder-in, half pass, haunches-in - and TC was definitely having fun taking her through the movements. It was almost like he was trying to be super duper professional with her, like if I asked for half pass, he'd have been like, seriously? we haven't done that in ages, jeez. But when she asked, he was like oh yes, half pass, I am very trained and you are just a small child (young adult) and I will show you how. She is riding at the PSG level by the way, he's such a mansplainer. 

When we got done, I led him back to the barn, but instead, he stuck really close to her, as if to say "okay cool, when is the vet check? can you take me home today or do I have to wait?" ready to totally abandon me. Bro, I raised you!

Look how happy he is

I was really excited about the saddle, but obviously it's owned by a client of Kate's, so it left with the new love of TC's life (her student and just generally an audience) and I immediately messaged the local Stubben rep, who happened to be in town the next day!!

She came out and I got to try a few of the saddles. Again, TC went SO well in them, but I was really having trouble deciding between them. I told her that I was a little nervous to commit right away for a couple of reasons. 

1. TC is hopefully (and can confirm this is true 2.5 weeks later) going to positively explode with muscle now that he can move properly, so ordering a saddle when he's at his most undermuscled feels like a recipe for having to bring the fitter out a ton and maybe him outgrowing a tree.

2. I'm not sure what will happen with his gaits and how much support I'm going to need from the saddle if he is going to get his big gaits back. His trot and canter have definitely gotten smaller over the years just because he can't support the bigger gaits. I was worried about ordering a saddle with a smaller block and then a few months later being like... cool I can't sit these gaits anymore.

Luckily, Stubben really does seem to want to do what is best for horse and rider, so I was left with a demo saddle for as long as it takes me to figure out the answers to those questions. My goal is to get him back to full work and start to sit his trot. That will allow me to buy a saddle for a fit, somewhat well muscled horse (or at least we'll know what direction we're going in) AND to make sure that I give myself the support I need to handle his hopefully enormous gaits. 

Look how good he looks!

I think I've done a good job not letting myself go down the "if only I had..." rabbit hole. Maybe it'll come later. But I did the best that I could with the information I had at the time. 

I've spent a lot of time thinking about how much you can just trust a saddle fitter (or any equine professional, or professional in general), like they can be a good saddle fitter, and STILL the saddle might not *actually* work BEST for the horse. And it's hardest when the horse is going pretty well in the saddle - the concept of like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

But at the same time, there's that other saying where like, good is the enemy of great. I think both of these little sayings get to me at work - I really do like my job, it gives me a lot of freedom (unlimited vacation, which I've been taking advantage of this year, I think I'm at 5 weeks of vacation so far and it's only April lol) and I enjoy what I do and the people I do it with, but I also know that if I really push myself, I could improve my salary quite a bit if I moved companies. Luckily they sensed me getting squirmy so they promoted me so I don't have to revisit this for a while. So I get to think about it with TC instead!

Basically since the saddle situation was mostly pretty good over the years, I didn't really put a huge amount of weight into it as the primary driving force behind his balking. But it turns out, it might be most of the answer. Only time will tell!

I Bought a Saddle

I had a moment of weakness this weekend when Google Photo's memories thing decided to remind me that the best my horse ever really looked was in fall/winter 2021 and then I fucked it up somehow. That's not exactly what it told me, but it's the way I decided to interpret it so that I could spiral about it a bit. 

I actually rode my horse! I took his noseband off
a while back and tbh I have no idea where I put it

TC still looks unfortunate after three months of rehab and I'm ready to make a change between now and February when we do his next round of injections. I went through those pictures and some of my blog posts during that time to figure out what was I doing. 

1) the horse was WAY fitter, he had come off of 2020 doing Third level, he had just moved to the ranch in 2021 and had a lot more energy there which got us through the tough summer months, and then in the fall I had been able to maintain that momentum keeping him fit as the ground softened and it got cooler, he really didn't lose a ton of fitness until 2022

2) I had just gone through a program doing a lot of work strengthening his thoracic sling. That had happened right at the beginning of fall, so all that fitness and leftover muscle combined with a really targeted thoracic sling program built him up quite nicely

3) I was riding him in a pegasus butterfly saddle I had been borrowing from Kate

I ended up being real wishy washy about that saddle because while TC loved it, my back did not. I really couldn't sit the trot in it, so I decided to thank Kate for letting me borrow it (for quite a while, thanks Kate!) but I gave it back and got a custom saddle fit for TC then. And that really didn't work out. 

The right is much more unbalanced

I decided that I wanted to cherry pick some of the exercises I had been doing during that time out of that thoracic sling program to add to my current program. I don't think TC's TS is truly the main issue right now, but I have been noticing that he's quite narrow in the chest still, so I'd like to get him thinking more about lifting through his pectorals. 

And I also went on facebook marketplace and searched for a saddle like the one I'd borrowed. Kate had ended up selling it to one of her students a while back and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, it was for sale. 

So I impulse purchased it. 

Which, I did defend myself to my friends, is kind of how I purchase saddles. I bought my favorite dressage saddle (the one I rode Rico in and the one I rode TC in until 2021) from a random tack shop for $600. I bought a jumping saddle last year randomly. And many many others.

But this one was the right price, and it fits Sundance at least, so if TC says "no thanks" to it, I'll at least have a use for it. 

In selective screenshots, he looks alright

I snagged it on Monday! It fit him well, although I did put a half pad between just for more cushion. He still really doesn't have enough topline to support a saddle, so I wanted to help him out a little bit. Like, it's kinda borderline, I see plenty of horses with toplines like this doing all kinds of impressive sport horse things, but for me and him, it's just not what I want. There's been part of me that has wondered whether getting back on would help him put on muscle faster too. So I figured I may as well try it if he'll tolerate it. 

And on Monday we rode in it! Like an entire ride. And I learned a LOT, even if it was more along the lines of painful realizations. I'll share those later. But essentially, we have a lot of work to do to rehabilitate the behavioral patterns. And separating those from the pain patterns is going to be really complicated. 

I'm still debating whether to ride him in it more, or go back to long lining, or do a combination of the two. Is it unkind to put him back to ridden work before he is looking better? Or does he need ridden work in order to look better? Even though I quite literally haven't posted the trot in like 6 months outside of the two rides I did on him in the TCS during this rehab, I do have quite a bit more influence over him when I'm on him vs on the long lines. 

Either way, I'm really glad I snagged the saddle and have something to ride in! Even just on the trails because he's gotten real spry out there and I want to be able to cling onto him when he zips after the deer. 

Saddle Update

I realize that I left off with my saddle drama with me getting it and it needing to get sent back because it shifted aggressively forward. 

TC likes it!

Well, no news is good news! The saddle has been great! My saddle maker clipped off the back billet and put a billet further forward. It's not a point billet, since we didn't want to cram his shoulders down, but it's far enough forward where the saddle stays further back. 

The balance was still a bit off, but it improved with me putting a couple of thinnish standing wraps under the front of it. On Flounder, I use a Lami-cell half pad, so I ordered one of those thinking that it'd be good to have a spare for Flounder anyway (also they're not expensive), but it works beautifully with my saddle. It lifts the front just enough to give me a better balance, but it's not a dedicated front riser (since it didn't need to go up that high).

It's so nice to sit in at the canter!

I'm still hoping that it will settle enough (it's not quite broken in just yet) and will stop needing the half pad eventually, but I also don't mind having him in one. 

My only qualm other than the balance is that I legit think he got the twist too narrow. This is my fault, as I usually have too wide twists, so I told him that he could not make it too narrow. Well, he kind of did! It's not a big deal, but I am going to ask him about it at some point and see if we can just widen the panels a little bit to give me a better sitting surface. 

Probably should have taken close up pictures
for this post, oh well

I still adore the saddle so much! TC goes great in it and I still love the magic blocks that seem to be there only when I need them to be. I've also never sat the canter better in it!

I'm really glad I splurged and went custom for this saddle. It was an extremely reasonable price and it's just amazing. 

Back At It

After two weeks off, TC came back to work last week and has been doing well! I took advantage of having that time off to have my saddle maker fix my saddle and it came back last week. 

I think he likes it!

It's still the tiniest bit low in front, but apparently that's normal during the break-in period. I do want him to fill out more in his thoracic trapezius, so I put a thin pad under the front of the saddle, which fixed the balance for me and he didn't mind it. So I'll be ordering him a half pad and that should help us out while he's filling in. Then later, I can take it out! 

It still slips a tiny bit forward, but I've been experimenting with girths and pads to see about keeping it back. Luckily, it doesn't seem to bother TC, so we are okay to have it ride up a tiny bit while we wait for our in person saddle fitting appointment later. I might ask him to stitch the front billet a little more forward (it's just loose right now) so that we can keep the saddle back. But IMO it's not important until I start sitting the trot. 

It lets me sit down so much at the canter, I normally
get popped up a bit because of how giant it can be

Love how out to the contact he is and how much
he is in front of the vertical!

It's AMAZING to finally have a saddle that works for us. I feel incredibly secure in it, it's got a nice deep seat and big blocks, but somehow also really free to move myself around. I've been working hard on my biomechanics, which means changing where my body is in the saddle, and not once has the saddle been like "no, your leg goes HERE" and forced it. That's pretty insane to me given that when TC went to spin out from under me on our first ride back because he saw absolutely nothing, I could easily find the block to hold onto him with. 

Pretty convinced my saddle maker is a wizard. But I also think it's because the blocks aren't put on so vertical like most dressage saddles. Or, magic! 

TC's first ride was uneventful, he started out the tiniest bit stiff in his right hind, but he also has a gigantic scar with stitches still in on his sheath on that side. I'm sure it felt awkward to him! He worked right out of it and felt SO good over his back and in the contact. For our second ride back, I took some video and he looked stellar, I am so excited to have him going like this! 

I definitely need to be able to sit DOWN at the
canter, lol!

I did stick him recently and he's 16.3, he's actually
grown a half inch since I last measured him. He's
done growing, it's all the TS work!

I spent a LOT of time thinking about this horse when we were in Kentucky. I think that if TC knew how much I thought about him on a daily basis, he'd be... thrilled. I sat and journaled for hours about him and what I wanted to do with him and what my options were and all of that.

That will be a post for another day, but all of my journaling really made me hope with all my might that the saddle would work because I really want to move forward with TC in the dressage. I had all these concerns written down regarding what would happen if I simply could not get a saddle to fit TC and myself properly. But now, I think I can ignore those, we are back on track. My hip is even healed at this point, so I can begin building strength back up so that I can start sitting the trot again. More on that later!

Sitting this is going to be rough omg

Sitting this is hard enough!

At this point, we just need to keep on keeping on and we have a lot of fun things on the docket. This weekend we go to a ranch competition that our local horsemen's association is putting on. Then next weekend, we have a clinic with the biomechanics trainer I rode with a couple months ago. I'm excited for her to see us in person and see how my right hip rehab has improved my riding. Then TC gets a few days off while I'm at a jumper show with Flounder, so that'll be good, he always does well with short vacations. And after that, Celeste is in town and I've budgeted at least two sessions with her and TC! 

I'm excited for her to see his progress and for us to get some help with his hind end. I think I've got his front end healthy enough to focus on unlocking his hind legs. Aaaand I'm glad I've got my new saddle to keep me on him as we do that! 

Saddle In Progress

Well, it finally happened, on Saturday, I drove over the hill to get my new saddle! I definitely had my hopes up because it looked beautiful, but it isn't perfect just yet. It goes back in this week for some adjustments. But I figured I'd talk about what I do like about it. Swing it a bit positive! Kate got my negative Nancy bullshit yesterday on the phone so when I got home, I decided to force myself to be positive. 

Hello saddle!

The blocks are amazing!

The good news is that the saddle is gorgeous. It's my first fully custom saddle, so I got to design it. I chose to do a similar design to one of Kate's students' saddles since I am not a creative person. It was tweaked a little bit though, and I love it! It looks so sharp and not too gaudy. 

The channel for TC's spine is HUGE by the way. I've never seen anything like it actually. I wish I'd taken a picture of it. Somehow the saddle doesn't feel super wide though, so that's good for me. 

The other thing I really love about is the blocks. I dunno how these blocks even make sense. First, they're huge, which is exactly what I wanted given that TC still has some good sized leaps in there and his extended trot is impossible to sit. But I didn't realize that it was possible to make giant blocks without them feeling like they slam you into position. Amazing. I feel like I have a ton of freedom in my leg and yet when I need the block, there it is. MAGIC. I assume, at least. 

Before: this is ideally where I'd like the saddle to
sit, also note TC's posture before our ride

After: the saddle clearly shifted forward throughout
our ride, but look at how much better he looks in his
posture! Love this way of riding

You can see how far it slid forward
based on my sticky pad's movement

Unfortunately, in true TC form, he's impossible to fit. So the saddle slides forward as they all do. So it's hopefully going to go back in to try a different placement for the billets. This is why I chose this saddle fitter, he is very knowledgeable and dedicated. 

So I wish I would have been able to post this saying "the saddle is perfect and amazing and I'm so happy!" I cannot. But I do love a lot about it and I'm trying really hard not to think about what to do if we end up not being able to get it to work for us. There's a lot of stuff to try between now and then. 

Back to Saddle Shopping

For the clinic, TC and I borrowed Kate's butterfly saddle again. We used it a while ago and TC LOVED it and it ended up annoying my back. 

We didn't use it enough to annoy my back, but it did make me realize how much of a difference the saddle makes for TC. He really adores it and it fits him like a glove. Even though he is a different shape now than he was this last summer. 

I've been back and forth on the saddle front, there are so many options, but I think I have an idea of what I want to do at this point. It's kind of absurd but this journey is going to be a little absurd. 

TC says yes I love this saddle

Essentially, TC and I are looking at another development year. And during this time, I am hoping/expecting him to change his body shape quite a lot. So even if I were to buy a traditional saddle, the saddle I buy this winter may not even fit him next winter, even if the tree can be changed (due to the shape of the panels maybe needing to change). I can't imagine he won't change shape, and if he actually doesn't, then I will probably call it on the dressage front with this horse. But we will just assume that this work is going to be the answer to his issues. He's already looking like a different horse. 

So knowing that even if I buy something perfect now, I might have to buy two saddles, I've decided to just plan on doing that. 

I have a message into the butterfly rep to see if she can come out and bring me a variety of what they carry to see if we can get something that fits me better than Kate's saddle does. 

He doesn't look bad in my bareback saddle but
neither of us love it

This way I have something to ride in for the next year that I KNOW will fit TC and won't need any adjustments (since it adjusts itself). I mean that is saving me a ton of money anyway, right? Given what most saddle fitters charge and that I'd probably be getting one out once a month for a year. Plus then there will be no days/weeks/months where I know the saddle isn't fitting and we have to wait for the fitter. It will just fit. Every day. 

After a year, when he's more of a normal dressage shape, I plan on figuring out a better saddle for me that also fits him. This could potentially be me just getting my Custom fit to him again! He went well in that saddle for a while, after all. Maybe if he's got an actual topline protecting his shoulders, the saddle will be able to be fit him properly. This could also mean that I end up buying a saddle from the local saddle maker who says that he can do a fully custom saddle for me and for TC for under $5k. That would be really amazing and honestly, that's a deal for something fully custom that comes with two years of free fittings. Even that plus the Butterfly will be only a little more than a lot of fully custom saddles and I'd have two saddles. 

Such a good boy

The other upside is that the Butterfly will fit Sunny and I would like to do some WE and/or dressage shows on him if I can swing it. 

And moving forward, it'll fit TC between saddle fittings, it'll be helpful to have to compare to his saddle to see if I need to get the fitter out, it'll be great to use if I event Flounder this coming year, it'll be good to use on my future horse before I buy that horse his own saddle, and it'll fit any horse I choose to lease. 

Plus, I have a slew of back issues that need to be and CAN be addressed this year. Outside of the saddle, my back is probably at its worst it's been since the original injuries this year. I need to figure out my gym situation, which dissolved during COVID and hasn't returned, and I'm not sitting TC's trot, which was my saving grace during iffy times. This January the SO is so excited to send me to the doctor whenever he wants because I'll be on his plan. First step is to fix my back. I want x-rays and potentially an MRI to see what is going on in there, then physical therapy to fix it all. 

So there is a chance that the saddle will be fine for my back and I won't actually have to buy a second saddle. But I feel confident that I can swing the second saddle if necessary. 

I just want this horse every day

So that's the latest in my saddle brainstorming! Who knows if I will be able to bite the bullet. I am hoping the fitter will allow me to keep it for a month but I know that's unusual. I think if TC says yes and my butt says okay, I'll go for it.

I've gone ten years without buying a saddle worth more than $1000. It's time for me to pay my dues to the saddle fitting gods I think. Two saddles in a year sounds like a lot, but I figure a lot of eventers have to do that! And let's not forget that my new horse will need at least a jumping saddle and that will happen in the next few years (hopefully!). It was a nice ten years. 

Womp Womp

Last week I was very excited to buy my not entirely perfect saddle. But then TC said no thanks. Whyyyy TC??? 

Bareback saddle

The saddle fitter came out early on Friday morning. TC hadn't had all of his breakfast yet (I normally ride him a little later after he's done eating), I didn't have time to do his exercises, he had a day off the day before, it was kind of cold... 

We fit the saddle to him and I got on and immediately felt like something was up with him. But again, there was a lot of things that could have been causing him to be iffy. When we picked up trot, TC was a bit balky and with his balks/props, he shifted the saddle pretty aggressively forward. I did get him trotting but it didn't feel so great. 

We stopped and the fitter changed the fit so that it would be more stable, we moved it back into position and I hopped back on. TC was still acting a bit funny, but by this point the saddle fitter had moved to the rail just inside the arena. TC is the *weirdest* about people watching him, and for some reason people standing on the rail are doubly weird. So TC was a bit tricky to get going, but now he was less balky and more just trying to low key mow down the saddle fitter (or run up to him and stop??? What is his deal?) when we were on that side. 

Saddle

I decided to just move forward and ride him in it later in the day and the next morning. I really can't focus with saddle fitters around, I've learned this about myself in this process. We went back to the barn and discussed pricing but I explained that TC was iffy in it so I'd be letting him know. The saddle was a tiny bit more expensive than we originally discussed but it was fine. 

Because he hadn't done much in the morning, I went to get breakfast, had a job interview, then got him out again over lunch. With no distractions and riding him at his normal time and in his normal way, I was hoping he'd be better. We still had the additional variable of him being ridden earlier in the day though. But I figured if he was good in it, that would be good enough for me. If he wasn't good in it, then I'd ride in it again on Saturday. 

He said maybe... he wasn't terrible in it but man he was not great. He needed a lot more coaxing to get forward than he has recently. Remember how I put down my whip last week? Yeahhhhh. 

Bareback saddle

Saturday morning I headed out to the barn feeling iffy about it. I decided that if he went perfectly in it, I'd ride in it again on Sunday and then buy it. If he didn't, I'd probably just pass on the saddle. 

Unfortunately on Saturday, he wasn't great in the saddle. He wasn't bad, but I couldn't settle into that easy trot we had all last week after the clinic. I also noticed the saddle was kind of hitting me in the butt as I sat down, which was not so good. 

I swapped to the bareback saddle and he was better, not perfect, but much better. We found a nice swingy trot and I felt like I could shorten and lengthen my reins and he'd just shorten and lengthen his frame vs coming against me at all. 

Bareback saddle

At this point with the changes after the clinic, I'm pushing out all of our lessons and shows until the spring anyway. My hope initially with this saddle was to snag it now and be able to be back to work and show ready in January or February. Now I'm hoping to be back to regular work by then and then go back to showing maybe in April or May. So as frustrating it is to have found such a great saddle and then have it not work out... it's honestly fine. 

My plan is to hold off for a couple of months. I'll try saddles if I can find them, but I want to just focus on rehabbing TC's posture (man this is becoming just what I do with this horse ugh) and take the pressure off of myself and him this winter. I might not even move him, as we can do a lot of this stuff on the road when the arena is too wet to ride. But we'll see. 

Then once it's apparent that this stuff is working and he's getting ready to go back to normal dressage, I can figure out a saddle situation. By then, I'm hoping his topline will have recovered enough to fit him to a saddle. And maybe some of the issues we are having fitting him will be gone (like would a saddle slide forward into his shoulder if his longitimus dorsi muscle were properly developed? not sure!). So, kind of a bummer, but it'll be fine. I once again need to refocus my energy from dressage/showing/lessons and into posture work. 

Saddle

The good news is that since the clinic, his body has genuinely felt the best it's felt in years. He's always given me this weird feeling in his body that he's just not 100% comfortable. Never enough to make me really worry about him (and all vets/chiros/etc have pronounced him very sound and comfortable), he's always been in the 80-95% range. I always blamed it on his breeding and that I'm asking him to do a sport he isn't bred for (and that was backed up by vets and trainers). But he now feels just so solidly comfortable in his body. So I'm really hopeful that he'll continue to improve. This feels different than everything else I've tried!

Along these lines, we are officially signed up for a clinic with the clinician from two weeks ago in November! Just four weeks to go. And maybe she'll have some insight on what saddle would be appropriate to put him in and when. 

Saddle Thoughts

So I'm planning on buying the saddle I used for all of August next weekend. The fitter is convinced he can keep it from sliding with a couple of adjustments and even if it slides a little bit, I think I will still end up with it. 

He's so cool, I hope he lets me wear my shadbelly
on him one day!

It seems crazy to knowingly buy a saddle that isn't perfect, it's not like the saddle isn't expensive... but I was realizing the other day that TC's future is still a bit up in the air. Don't take that the wrong way, that horse has a near permanent place in my life and I am 95% certain I won't sell him. If I do, it will be to someone who I know and who I've leased him to for a year or more. But if he's not going to be comfortable going beyond Third level, I'm probably going to look for a lease option for him or a career change for the pair of us (turn him into my fun trail horse and maybe teach some lessons on him).

I'm fairly certain that the issues we've hit on this last year were caused by the saddle issue and the training program we were subscribed to. I've since rehabbed him from that training program and he's been out of that saddle for a while. This saddle is not going to cause those same issues. It does not have long front gussets, it does not have tree points, and it has enough give to it that he can actually use his shoulders and lift his back. Even if it slides forward, it doesn't crush his shoulders, it just annoys me mostly. This saddle will absolutely rule out the original saddle issue even if it isn't a perfect fit just because of how the saddle is made. 

it's hard to see but this squirrel wants to hang out
in the cool sand in the shade lol

But... there's definitely a chance that there's some other stuff going on that maybe were made worse by the saddle. At the end of the day, the horse isn't purpose bred for this sport and his conformation/lack of tone is very challenging. The upper levels are hard enough on a horse with perfect conformation. Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer that almost all horses can make it to the Grand Prix. But the question may end up being, is it fair to keep pushing him if he's not entirely comfortable or confident in the work? With how he's been going this week, I see nothing holding him back. I can feel a canter pirouette in there and his mind is so good. However, because we hit the wall we did at the time in his training we did (hitting the collection wall as we head into Fourth level, yikes), it's on the back of my mind. He was never meant to be my next Grand Prix horse after all. 

If that's the case, my plans for him will be to solidify the lower levels and turn him into a bronze medal machine. Lease him out to someone who can love on him and learn from him (he's totally bombproof, easy in all the movements, and super sweet, his only downside is that his gaits are no joke to sit! But I think he'd love to have a junior), either a half lease so I can keep playing with him for fun, or I can full lease him into a program I trust. Horses like him are worth their weight in gold and I've always wanted to give back to the sport with a schoolmaster. I've always planned on doing this when he hits whatever level he tells me is his max level, it'd suck if it was Third level, but who knows!

Because things are so up in the air, I'm not entirely enthused to buy a fully custom saddle that's perfectly fit to me and to him. If he ends up maxing out where we are at right now, the saddle I'm planning on buying would be perfect. I could send it with him to his leaser and not worry that it's going to get bumped or bruised (it's a demo so it's already a bit bruised). If he ends up telling me that he can and will do the FEI levels, I'll keep the saddle I'm buying this year for my next horse (since it can be fit to any horse) and then buy him a fancy full custom saddle!

The sand was hot on top but a bit damp under the
first layer so this guy kept digging himself a little
place to sploot in the shade

So that's my reasoning for buying a "pretty good but not perfect" saddle at this time. The cost of this saddle is half what I'd be getting a full custom saddle for so I may be saving money in the long run, or I could be spending even more on a full custom saddle, but I would have needed to buy a second saddle for my next horse anyway since I'm planning on overlapping my horses by at least a few years. 

Fingers crossed that the fitter can get it to not slide anymore so even if TC makes it to the Grand Prix, I can just keep riding in it! But even if it still slides a little bit, I'll probably still go for it.

Goodbye Saddle, Temporarily

The saddle fitter who gave us the saddle for August came by on Sunday to pick it up. I'm about 90% wanting to buy it but I told him that I was a little skeptical only because the saddle keeps sliding forward. I like everything else about it, the block is a good size but isn't restricting my leg at all. The seat is comfortable (even when the fit isn't perfect). The leather is good quality. It's a fully modular saddle so if I decide to change out the block or the seat, I won't have to buy a completely new saddle. But ugh, this forward sliding thing. 

I just love this horse

But does TC just have a body type that all saddles will slide forward on? Do I buy this one because it doesn't have tree points so it doesn't matter toooo much that it slides forward (it mostly annoys me)? Or do I hold out to buy something absolutely perfect? 

If I buy it now, am I settling? If I don't buy it, am I in for a year or more of battling to find the perfect saddle only to find out that there is no perfect saddle?

Saddle shopping is the worst. 

He's going pretty well right now despite minimal
riding in the smoke

After our last lesson with local trainer, his right
lead canter has improved so much

Those were all questions I was feeling when he came by. I asked him about the sliding and he says he's 100% confident that with a different tree (slightly wider), we can get it to stop sliding. And if that doesn't work, we can move the billets forward, which may restrict the shoulder a bit, but it won't slide. I can actually do that adjustment myself, so we can basically try out different billet placements and let TC decide where he wants his billets.  

He adjusted it to rebalance it, but we didn't have the different tree to try (and the discussion of the billets came after we were all done). After the adjustment it did seem to stay put for longer, so that was positive, but it did slide, so I gave it back. 

I asked him if there was a refund policy, like if I buy it and it doesn't work, can I return it? No. Ugh. I couldn't commit at that point, so I felt really bummed as we walked back to the barn. But then I realized that there might be another option. 

The right is still super tricky, I am excited to see
what his PT thinks about it! 

Now the left lead is harder lol

I asked when he was coming back and he said in three weeks. I asked if he'd have the correct size tree then (he was saying he put in an order for a bunch of different ones because all his clients' horses are bulking up right now I guess. He said he would and then I asked if he'd be willing to let me try the demo again with the correct tree. If it worked, I'd put in my order. One month's delay is a lot on a saddle that will take 10 weeks to get here, but who knows how much I'll be riding this fall and winter anyway and I did just get my fancy bareback pad and am doing more core work, so maybe I could do some bareback boot camp when we can actually ride. 

He said that would absolutely work and he picked up the saddle. I got a pang of bummed-out-ness and then I asked him on a whim if he ever sold demos. Like could I just take that saddle if it works? 

He seemed slightly surprised that I'd want it. I think a lot of people get excited about all the fancy stuff you can do with it, fancy leather and fancy back plates and all that. I am so unbelievably desperate to have something to ride in and to save a fair amount of money and 10 weeks would mean a ton to me! I want to start riding with both trainers again the moment we can (the moment the fires go out, TC will get a lung ultrasound and then go back to full work!). I'm also not a fancy saddle person. Maybe in the future when this saddle becomes new horse's saddle and I have lots of money (I'm putting a lot of pressure on future Megan lol). 

I'll miss this saddle! 

Goodbye saddle!

So, that's where we are at. My goal for the next three and a half weeks is to get TC in as many other saddles as possible. If I can find something that we both like and that doesn't slide or get in the way of his shoulders, I'll let this saddle fitter know that I'm not interested. If we get to the saddle fit appointment, then fingers crossed it works and I can buy it! 

A Contender

I tried a new saddle last Friday and have it on trial for a month! And I think that it might be a contender. This one is only a demo and there are a few things I'd want to change if I bought one new, so it's not like I can just call the saddle fitter up and give them money and be done with it, but it's definitely good news! 

TC says "this one might work!"

Funnily enough, on Friday I didn't think it was going to work but the fitter had offered me the trial and I was like "well, I'll have something to ride in for my lesson even if it isn't perfect" so I kept it. 

Like most reps, the fitter seemed to believe the saddle could do no wrong (I wish I believed in anything as much as saddle fitters believe in their saddles!) and stopped me from putting my sticky pad between the saddle pad and TC, something I use on every single saddle, even my bareback pad. Everything slides forward on him, the way saddles slide on him you'd think he was a downhill built fat pony (really his girth groove is just quite forward and narrow so everything slides into it). I would get him a crupper if I didn't think he'd be embarrassed. 

Sure enough half way through my ride, the saddle was ON his shoulder. Ugh. I looked at the video and was disappointed by how he looked in it. But I had a sneaking suspicion that if I put the sticky pad on for my next ride, the saddle wouldn't budge. 

Pictured: not budging

And it didn't. And TC felt way better in it the second day I rode in it. That day though, I didn't like it so much. But then the third day I rode in it (for my lesson), I started to like it. I think just being distracted from focusing on the saddle and instead just riding my horse really helped. 

Since then I've been a little back and forth on it but on average, it's way better than everything else I've tried. It hasn't made TC rear. It hasn't injured my back. It's mostly just... fine! Which is saying something, honestly. We haven't had fine in a very long time. I'm honestly not sure if anything exists beyond fine for us. If I want amazing for me, I ride him in my saddle and smash his shoulders. If I want amazing for him, I buy the butterfly saddle and hurt my back. Fine is great. 

I think at this point there are additional variables at play that are clouding my judgement. I'm still really burnt out/stressed and my mental health IS getting better but my decision making skills are still terrible. TC has also not had any bodywork in a while, we need to schedule an acupuncture session soonish and I need to get his PT lady back too. I've been better about doing his exercises but I also have been giving him more days off because of how far away he is and because he's out in pasture. 

Not so bad

I think at this point I'm just glad to have a saddle to work with in the mean time and I'll deal with the decision making later. The fitter will be back at the end of August and I might talk to him before that about bringing me something that I think might be a permanent fit for us. 

As much as I want to have a saddle yesterday and I want to take more lessons and I want to move forward with everything... I also don't want to pressure myself into buying a saddle that I don't love. So I'm going to either wait until I love this one or be happy that I have one for the month of August and keep looking. 

Conformation Lessons From a Saddle Fitter

So obviously with all the saddle fit problems, I've been in contact with Jen. We've been going back and forth and I'm seriously considering using the saddle company she's using. I'm not quiiiite there yet but it's looking that way. 

One thing she did was put me in contact with her saddle fitter friend Mary who helped her so much! I also highly recommend Mary because WOW she is so good. I sent her just one picture of TC standing almost square but not really in the cross ties and she told me all these things about his conformation and made some guesses about his saddle fit issues that were spot on.

The photo I sent, he was so bored of my antics lol

First, she said that he has huge shoulders, which is not news, but what WAS news was that he has big withers. I did not know this. I guess they're just hidden by his big shoulders. 

I mean, it makes sense, mostly. He's not a rotund guy, I know he looks like he should be really chonky just naturally with a well sprung ribcage but he's really not all that wide. Rico was like twice as wide as TC is. TC honestly feels pretty narrow for a horse of his stature. 

His withers aren't so prominent that he's hard to ride bareback but I definitely don't love riding him without a bareback pad. Plus his back is relatively well muscled at this point (and honestly always has been pretty decent) so maybe that contributes to the illusion. 

There was a baby cow born recently! So cute!

I told her the saddle shifted forward on him and she asked if it was forward toward his nose or forward into his shoulder and I said absolutely the latter. 

She then gave me recommendations! They're similar to what Connor needed and they have the same issues with how they go in saddles they don't like (don't keep the chest plate up, don't lift the withers as well) so it all makes sense. 

- Short and ideally flexible tree points. 

Like Jen has said several times, Mary thinks that dressage saddles are made for riders and not horses, the shorter and more flexible the tree points, the more shoulder freedom. Most dressage saddles have long inflexible tree points that get in the way of the shoulder. 

- No point billet 

The point billet is attached to the point and therefore drives the front of the saddle down into the horse's shoulder, not good for shoulder freedom! Ideally I could have a saddle with billets that were set fairly far back. 

- High wither clearance 

TC has high withers and therefore needs some good wither clearance! Again, not knowing this about him means that I never really looked specifically for that. That also explains why he loved the butterfly saddle because it had a cutback pommel. I'm sure he feels a little claustrophobic lifting his withers into a shallow pommel. 

- Short gussets 

The gusset (I had to ask) is the length of the padding down the front of the saddle. Dressage saddles tend to have long ones and they sit behind the shoulder and prevent it from being used properly.

- Ideally a velcro block

That may be tough for me to find (because I love an exposed block monoflap) but she said that a fixed block can get in the way of a shoulder too. Especially if it's tightened down with a point billet on a long gusset. 

This guy was so hilarious, I gave him
a lot of cookies and will get him out
today!

So that's what we are looking for! I wrote all that down and am going to start ruling out saddles. I did happen to notice one thing though... I sent Mary pictures of my current saddle and she agreed that it is LITERALLY the opposite of what he needs: 

Look how freakishly long those
gussets are omg

That's a point billet, yep

Sooooo that sucks, I love this saddle but I definitely don't think I will be putting it on him again. I have half a mind to take it to a saddler and see if we can put a new billet in the back and redo the panels but that seems like a LOT of effort, especially given that I can't fix the lack of wither clearance and the tree points. It's time for that saddle to retire. 

Maybe it'll somehow work on my new horse and it's the saddle I got my Gold medal in so I'm keeping it forever. Maybe it can be made into an office chair  or a stool for me?? Hahaha anything to still be able to sit in it. I love that saddle but can very much acknowledge that it was made for the rider, not for the horse.