Soaking

Wow this week has been a bit of a failure for blogging. Really, blogging takes a dive when TC is questionable in general- both because I'm not as excited to write about him and I have even more limited time. That and a few personal things going on are cramping my style time-wise. Boo! I miss blogging.

Right now we're firmly on the PLEASE BE AN ABSCESS train. It's not looking great. But to be honest, I've never really dealt with abscesses so it's not like I'm an expert here. And I do tend to jump to conclusions about soft tissue injuries with this horse. So I'm giving it a week or so and then calling the vet if things are still looking soft tissue-y.

He was so dark! I really want him to be sound this year so I can
trail ride him!

He's handling his shit pretty well, I'm out twice a day to soak because he won't keep a hoof wrap on to save his life. There is no amount of tape that I can put on that he won't paw right off and have his foot filled with rocks and dirt by the time I'm back 12 hours later (my commute sucks, have I complained about it lately?). If it does burst and I need it to be clean, I might move him inside for a bit. But for now he might have reinjured his suspensory, in which case meh I'll just keep him outside until I can put him in pasture for a year. If there's one thing this horse has taught me, it's that he's only sound when I don't care if he's sound.

So all is quiet on the PLEASE BE AN ABSCESS front for now. The local vet has to come out for shots anyway, so I figured I'd have her palpate his suspensory. I did, and I think I pinched it pretty good, but he didn't budge (and he wasn't on bute at the time). So that's at least good news. The swelling is going down and while he's still lame at the walk and reluctant to put weight on his heel, he's definitely better. So I don't know what that means, I'm glad he's feeling better though.

At his vet check, he liked them so much he wants to see them all the time

I'd really like to see some pus in the next few days, guys. Either that or I'll be gearing up for yet another ultrasound. Ugh, horses. My next one will be the kind you put quarters into.

Edit: got to the barn this morning right as this post went out and Houston, we have pus!!!!

Bombproofing Clinic

Ever since watching the bombproofing clinic last year, I've wanted to take TC to one (and I really want to take Rico to one just because I think he'd have so much fun). Despite not quite being back to full work yet, I decided to just take him. I figured that we could stay as long or as short as we wanted and I could do as much or as little as I wanted. Even just getting off the property and doing ground work was good.

Ridiculous 

TC has a bit of presence to him, and when I unloaded him, he made it known that he had ARRIVED and started screaming/pulling me around. I tacked him up quickly and took him on a walk. We stuck out like sore thumbs. We were the only ones in an english saddle and TC was one of the only not-gaited and not-QH horses.

I had to hand him off to some innocent bystander to sign paperwork. He dragged them around and whinnied too, but generally seemed to start to realize that none of the horses were being murdered. Weird. Since this place (and all new places) was obviously the horse murder capital of the world.

He hated it touching him at first so I made him
stand there being poked

We were invited into the arena and introduced ourselves, our horses, and what we were here for. I told everyone, as I wrestled TC into standing somewhat still among a herd (probably 20 horses) of statuesque horses, that we were just here for exposure since he was young and could be a bit reactive.

After introductions, which TC thought took too long so tormented me to make his feelings known, we started walking around with the two clinicans who were mounted and watched them demonstrate the obstacles. They had really great ideas on how to introduce each obstacle and emphasized kindness and patience with our horses. That was kind of when I thought I might be kicked out if I had to get on TC's case about not frantically running away from various obstacles. But while we were walking around and I was trying to listen, TC dragged me over to other obstacles to investigate them. It wasn't unusual for the clinicians to arrive at an obstacle to demonstrate that I was holding my horse back from. I kept apologizing and wondering why I thought this was a good idea. I don't really want to spend an entire day wrestling this enormous horse.

At first he wasn't sure if he could fit through

We were then set loose on everything. I immediately walked over to the water because TC loves water. He stood snorting at it for a while, drank it (ew), and then walked through like it was nothing. All that work through puddles has paid off!

The next obstacle we tried was the yoga ball they had that they had taught the horses to kick. TC thought that was fun, he kept putting his nose on the ball and then kicking it away from himself.

After the two I thought TC was going to be okay with, we walked over to the pile of stuff. The stuff was basically a 90's kid dream- nurf everything and some big frisbees that were floppy enough to throw at the horses. This section was located by the stands, so obviously rather than spooking at the giant teddy bear or the other horses spooking at having stuff thrown into them, he spooked at a person sitting above him. TC really hates people being above him.

Since it was all about bombproofing, I told the person to move again and then TC was okay. He shoved his face right into their lap, actually, and then started smiling at a nice man eating cashews. They weren't really sure what he was doing, and I was trying to yank him back, but explained that he just really wanted them to give him treats for smiling. He's starting to offer that behavior constantly, which is adorable but can be kind of weird if you have no idea what he's doing.

After socializing, we started in on the obstacle. He let me throw everything at him. He stood a bit tense and was a little nervous, but he never moved or startled. Just looked miserable that I was his owner. God why her, why did I get stuck with her.

So fun!

He kept trying to grab it

From there we walked over the tarp and the mattress, which he didn't care about. Then over the bridge in the middle, which he also didn't care about. I definitely did lots of work with tarps with him previously, and he walks over the bridge at home a lot, but I was surprised about the mattress.

There was a 4x4 with a flag of caution tape that we could drag around. I took him over there to see it and he shoved his face in the flag, tried to bite it, and then let me drag it toward him, next to him, and behind him. Soooo bolting away from something in the distance behind you is a thing, but you don't mind when I drag this huge flag behind you? Mmmkay.

After that we walked through the car wash, which he didn't care about at all once as he realized that he wasn't too big to fit through. Then on to the monkey in a barrel, which he also didn't care about. He didn't care about it so much that he wasn't paying attention to it at all. He was looking off into the distance at a field. I had to tell him "please pay attention to the thing I'm trying to spook you with" so yeah okay. Who is this horse?

I could fling it up at him and he'd still look curiously at it

This pole was attached to the 4x4 we dragged

We walked across to the next obstacle, which was a couple of plywood walls that had holes in them so that pool noodles could be shoved through. This one TC struggled with a little bit, slowly and carefully trying to snake through it so he wasn't touched. After I poked/thwapped at him with noodles a few times, he was fine.

In one corner, there were a bunch of big flags. TC let me put them all over him, including waving them above his back, waving them over his head, and even draping one over his face, which he just put his head up to sniff at it and tried to nibble at it too.

The last element was something they called the flintstone cart, which was a pvc pipe cart with two barrels for wheels. He was totally into pushing it and pulling it, no problems.

What is this? He tried to snake through it a few
times because he didn't want to be touched

Loved this cart

At one point, one of the clinicians asked when I was going to get on. I had no idea. I hadn't even brought my helmet out. So as my mom went to leave (she came to watch and take a few videos/pictures! I'm going to make a compilation video this weekend maybe), I asked her to grab my helmet from the trailer. I hopped on and TC was totally fine.

We did everything again, this time undersaddle. He was super good. Zero problems, except as he boinged off the mattress once. I was shocked. He walked through the car wash with me, he kicked the ball (and learned to follow it and kick it when I said "kick it"), he went through the water, he carried flags around, he went through the noodle chute, he walked over the bridges, and he dragged everything too!

Previously nervous rider now not paying attention to previously
nutty horse while only holding the reins with one hand?

No problems, even when it was closer together
and there were more noodles

Afterward we went to eat lunch, and TC returned to his bored, destructive self. I tied him at the trailer and he reared and reared (this seems to run in the family, his half sister does this when she gets bored too) because he could only see ONE horse and not ALL the horses. People invited me over to eat lunch and I said that I had to stay at my rig because I didn't want TC to get loose. The clinician came over and said they had a hitching post near the picnic tables, so I threw him there. And he was NOT happy. I tied him short enough where he couldn't rear but he could still grab some grass.

He kept wiggling and screaming and was making a scene when he wasn't frantically eating grass. Everyone kept looking over to him as I chatted with some of the other riders and felt a little embarrassed. All the sweet little quarter horses were dozing at their trailers, and mine... that one is mine.

Let me back in there! Patience is for losers!

Back inside and we started on the ground again. TC thought he knew how to do EVERYTHING and wanted to hurry through each obstacle. I had to get after him a bit and slow his brain down. This happens undersaddle too, when he gets over eager about stuff I'm not asking for and just does it.

Once as I got him slowed down on a few of the easy obstacles, I saw that they had lowered more stuff on the car wash, put more noodles in the noodle chute, and turned the bridge into a teeter totter. TC had no problems with any of them, so I hopped back on.

This time riding, I wanted to just play. We played soccer with some of the other riders, passing the yoga ball to each other. This meant that sometimes the ball got stuck under TC's feet, which he didn't seem to care about. We helped a few riders by being the calm lead (!!) horse through some of the obstacles. We got helped by a rider with the flintstone cart, trying to get TC to push up against it and push it over the ground. He totally got it. Then we switched and dragged the cart while the other rider tried to get her horse to push the cart.

TC bored because he wanted to rush through this

Go kick it, TC

TC started to feel fatigued and was getting balky again, so I hopped off and went to talk to one of the clinicians. I told her that I was sorry, but he'd been so good that I didn't want to do any more. Maybe next time he'll be okay to go all day, but this time we needed to leave an hour early.

The clinician was so so nice to me about him. She said that she trains police horses for a living, and that if I ever wanted to sell him, he would make a perfect police horse. I kind of... stared. This is a horse who has been called dangerous and highly reactive. A police horse? I told her wow, but that the day was really surprising to me because he was such a reactive horse.

She said that you can always train reactivity out of a horse, but you can't train his curious attitude, and that's what really took over today. I told her about our bolting problems (and how they were gone now that he was in a big paddock with friends nearby) and she told me that her first instinct would be to guess that he was feeling bored. Now that he has more room and friends, he's not standing around bored all day and doesn't feel like he needs to take it out on me.

He was really eager to sniff this thing

I said thank you, and that I would consider the police horse option (they like them to be 8-12 anyway so we have a few years) if TC ever got to a point where he couldn't do what I wanted and wasn't worth what he would be as a dressage horse (since the police horses can be a little unsound, like if his suspensory becomes chronic). The horses have excellent lives, apparently they are well taken care of, well trained, not overworked, and when they're ready for retirement, they have a ceremony, pull their shoes, and they all live happily out in pasture.

Overall obviously I'm ecstatic about this horse. I honestly have no words. Other than that we clearly need to go to more places and stand tied there. But seriously. no words. I'm so glad I brought him (though now I'm super bummed because he's really lame from what we're really really really hoping is an abscess, keeping everything crossed for him, one eviscerated hoof wrap at a time).

Spooky

I've been at a lot of barns and interacted with a lot of people, and it's interesting to see how sensitive people are to stuff that might spook their horse. 

As I've talked about before, TC is really sensitive to outside stimuli. I can put a tarp over his face and he'll stand there all relaxed like, but if a tarp is draped over something near him, he's freaked out by it. This leads to him sometimes overreacting about stuff people are doing around the barn. 

Things he's been upset by have been: someone hanging a bag of hay, someone sweeping a section of the cross ties, a horse cantering near him, someone dumping a bucket of water, whoever put that dog in that pen right there (all other dogs are fine), someone walking out from behind something, a butterfly flying in front of him, a leaf floating near him, a feather that looked like it was coming at him and then didn't but it could have, a bird that stood perfectly still on the neighbor's property for the entirety of our ride that he could see when he passed this one section of broken fence, and any and all cars, horses, or humans moving in any way. 

Hover horse

I feel like I've been really good about not taking my issues or his issues out on other people (even when the neighbors got a drone and the thing is SO LOUD and they fly it so close to us). I don't expect anyone to change their regular barn behavior because I choose to own and ride a horse who is spooky and who makes me nervous sometimes. Because I hate being told what I can and can't do at the barn myself.

BUT there's obviously a line. I wouldn't expect to be able to do just *anything* at the barn and have people not come after me. I mean I wouldn't wrap a tarp around myself and go running through the field next to the arena all day every day and not expect people to ask me to just fucking stop.

I love to nag

In my experience, different people have different lines. I've been yelled at for letting my horse spook (I mean how can I prevent this because I want to know), I've had people vacate arenas because I was in them, I've had people to tell me to stop sweeping or stop walking or stop breathing because it was scaring their horse. And on the other hand, I've had people apologize for doing totally normal things that somehow spook my horse. And I'm always like no no no please keep doing that so that he can get over himself about it. Don't teach him that him spooking at something stops the something that is scaring him!

I'm a firm believer that expecting all of humanity to take responsibility for keeping you safe when you're the one choosing to ride a horse is kind of self centered, no?

I'm not saying that everyone needs to suck it up all the time. I'm happy to stop doing something if I'm asked politely like "hey could you stop for a second, I just need to get by." But when it's screamed at me or it's something I can't help, it's frustrating.

I get it. I have fear issues. I get scared. I would love it if I could ride my horse in a perfectly controlled environment. But that's not realistic and in the long run, it makes you more unsafe to insist on that. So instead I choose to make my horse safer, and if that doesn't work, to not keep a horse who makes me feel unsafe.

His stride length is just craziness, it's going to take like six years
to get him to shorten his step enough to do a pirouette

And with that, TC and I are off to the bombproofing clinic on Sunday. Let's work on that flight response and on my reaction to it! 

How Things Have Changed

If you've been paying attention, you've noticed that my relationship with TC has changed pretty dramatically in the last couple of weeks. I haven't even put everything on this blog from the last couple of months, including some good rides that I wrote about and then deleted when he suddenly reverted back to bad behavior and including some bad times where I actually put him up for sale and contacted a friend about him.

So shoutout to everyone who has been on the receiving end of my crazy. But y'all are getting a break right now, because it's officially been two weeks since I started riding again and every single day has been a good one.

I started keeping track of positive and negative days a while ago, putting a plus or minus sign on my calendar along with a description of my ride. For a while, we had about half good and half bad (bad = just those days where we had naughty behavior that scared me, not just him not feeling like working or kicking out or bucking or scooting), which isn't enough for me. I don't want to get off my horse every other ride wondering if I can do this. For every penny we managed to deposit in our trust bank on a good day, he'd deduct a dollar the next day when he'd bolt or come out all nutty. Very quickly we were operating in the negative.

Obviously there's so much room for improvement in the
throughness and rider departments, but given how
unbalanced/terrible his canter was last year, I love this

And now we've gone two full weeks of plus signs. Even after a day off, even when riding with other people, even when riding early early in the morning or late in the evening, even when riding off the property, even when riding in previously spooky places. And it feels great! Every one of those days I've been able to focus on his dressage training, and that has really paid off! Enjoy these gifs while I go over in detail what exactly changed.

A lot of things outside of my attitude change, though I think my attitude has really maintained this change in behavior. So I'll start with the outside influences.

New Paddock
TC is now living out in a giant paddock with two playful horses next to him. While it still gives me a heart attack when he does anything but wander around out there (he plays a LOT and canters around like a nut a lot of the time), he now doesn't rely on the hour a day I take him out to get ALL of his energy out. He knows that he can run any time he wants, so his desire to run away with me has diminished.

This is like.... not even close to what he can do in his lengthened
canter and it's quite enough for me right now. 

No Calming Supplement
I pulled him off of this at the same time as he moved to the new paddock and I think it's helped me a lot. For so long, I was afraid of taking him off of it, so I had it in the back of my mind that he was so nutty that I couldn't have him off of it. Ugh. No more of that unless he TRULY needs it, and he seems fine without it.

No Trainer
My trainer served his purpose by getting me started on TC after rehab, but I felt like we were floundering a bit. I've had this problem with several trainers now- people seem to both treat me like TC is a problem horse (he's not) and treat me like I should be riding much better than I am. This makes me feel like I can't handle him. Now, don't get me wrong, I do NOT like his bolting or his bad behavior, but the reality is that nothing he's given me so far has been *too much* for me, as much as it's just been *not something I want to deal with* and there's a big difference there.

I took over the training the way I wanted to and it's paying off. I do want to try to find a trainer who works well with me, but I'm confident I can bring him up the levels enough on my own (I have trained client horses up to PSG with no help and Rico to GP with weekly lessons, so I'm not incompetent) where I can take my time figuring a training situation that will work.

I love how soft and steady he is, it can always be better, but he
feels so delicate to ride (when I get out of his way)

New Attitude
This has been a game changer for me. It started with Jeremy Steinberg, so major shout out to Peony for convincing me to come up (it wasn't hard but it's not like I was knocking down her door asking to come audit). The phrase screw up with confidence.

He talked about it mostly in terms of a rider who thinks that they are going to train their horse wrong. I don't feel like that often. Sometimes I feel like my horse is a lot fancier than I am (and then I remember that I found him in a field and he was going to be sold as a husband horse), but I struggled with that a lot with Rico and got over it. I pay the bills, I sacrifice a lot for you, I don't care if another owner/rider could have you score 10 percentage points higher, I'm going to stuff you full of carrots and make you smile at me and sometimes get my timing wrong on a change and you're going to fucking like it and give me a clean change.

It took me about two weeks and a good cry while writing a sale ad for me to realize how I could really apply this thinking to my own situation.

Realistically, I can handle everything the horse has given to me. His bolts scare me, but not in a I'm seriously scared for my life way, more of a I don't like this much cortisol in my body way. My fear mostly comes from the idea that he might do something in the future that I can't handle. That's not logical. And by feeling like this, in combination with my tendency to have a hot seat and tight hip flexors, I was telling him to be spooky, nervous, and explosive.

He's never going to have a super amazing stretch circle, but this
is such a huge improvement from this fall (which is a little pathetic
but dude the horse's neck comes out of his back)

So I told myself this: either I become the rider he needs me to be, or I sell him. And I did put him briefly up for sale. But with the idea that people might need to, you know, try him in order to want to buy him, I started riding him again.

And with the other changes, I found it easier to be the rider he needed. And because of that, he gained confidence and started to give confidence back to me. And then I gave it to him again.

In the last two weeks, we've encountered so much that he's really impressed me with:

- There are a couple of ladies that fill hay bags and soaks them outside of two different arenas. These people have been the bane of my existence with this horse. He doesn't even look at them anymore.

- There is someone at the barn who, historically, I've never been able to ride with because they simply don't steer and TC used to get really distracted by their erratic behavior (they tend to run up our butts or pass too fast or what not). Yesterday evening in the wind he was totally cool with sharing the arena with them. We only had a couple of close calls and TC acted like he'd lived in an FEI warm up for ten years.

- I used to have to leave the arena if any other horse left the arena, now he's fine with other horses entering/leaving, doesn't even look at them most of the time. The most he's done in the last couple weeks is one of his "eeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeee" whinnies while staying with me. So whatever, he can sing the song of his people any time he wants as long as he's on the bit and paying attention.

- He's not afraid of birds anymore, even when the crazy young owls screech and fly in and out of the ring. He has developed a slight fear of a tiny dog who gets dog turnout in a pen near the driveway though. Oh well.

- He's not afraid of traffic anymore. Not motorcycles just beyond the covered, not jeeps barreling down the road right next to the ring at my parents' ranch, not cars coming in the driveway, EVEN when they splash in puddles, which used to be the worst thing EVER.

- I can get on him and walk him around the ranch on a loose rein while playing on my phone.

- At one point during the ride these gifs are from, I kind of wished he'd spook at my camera bag that I had left near the rail (you can see it down near A) because he was being lazy. Why am I wishing that my horse would spook?!

Pretty decent for not really practicing them recently

As a thank you for going through all this for me (and a preemptive thank you for going through more shit in the future), I have some bloopers for you.

I don't normally post bloopers on this blog, but these two gifs were just so funny since TC is so rarely shitty. The first one is hilarious to me because I know a certain other blogger horse who loves to pull this stunt (in a more impressive way) and we've agreed to NEVER let our horses meet. Murray doesn't need to learn to bolt from TC and TC doesn't need any tips in improving his kicky bucks.

I don't care as long as his head stays up, this is because I rode him
a bit behind my leg and then half halted. It goes away when he is
stronger, it's his way of saying "don't make me bend my hocks"

The next is a zip away from the pile of jumps that he thinks is going to murder him. You can see how he's so so so so so much better about letting me get him back to me rather than escalating further. One step is laughable, and I actually do think I was laughing about this. And gah, so much of me wishes that change had been clean too (together behind the step before the change).

DRESSAGE ROCKS he yells, as he notices the pile of jumps
and gives me a zoom step

Also lol bf watched me make these gifs and he was like "are you just watching yourself over and over again?" and then he asked "why is TC wearing leggings?"

Horses, always a source of entertainment.

First Field Trip of 2017

On Sunday, I had the whole day free so decided to drag TC over to my parents' ranch and see how he would be. He hadn't been off the property since November, when I took him over there and then all hell broke loose over the winter. I figured that if I want to do anything with this horse, he needs more off property miles, and there's no better way to do that than taking him to the ranch. It's relatively quiet, it's pretty close to his barn, and there's no ring fee or events to work around!

So curious (hrrmmm why is my saddle dirty?)

He was great to load, but a pain to haul. He paws constantly. I mean just in general, the horse paws a LOT. But especially when he's in the trailer. We managed to get there without too many pawing fits and he unloaded well and immediately screamed for Rico, who ignored him. I love that horse.

In the cross ties, he was a bit anxious. He does best when he's given stuff to do, so when he has to fend for himself, he doesn't handle it so well. My mom was around so came up to see him and she (who has a ton of horse experience but not any young horse experience) was kind of surprised about how nutty he was being. Then I made him move left and right, take steps back, move left and right, take steps back, and he lowered his head, chewed, and rested a foot. He just likes to know what he should be doing. If you let him decide, well, he decides wrong.

He's like "omg I want to look" and then "okay fine I won't"
Also boo my new boots made my legs sore and I wanted to feel
comfortable riding off the property, so Dublins it was.

We started out with ground work (I put the rope halter on over his bridle if you're wondering what the contraptions were in the gif- it's not getting in his way). He was great on the ground, we even got a bit of stretching and relaxation in the first ten minutes. He wouldn't let me on him right away, wanting to wiggle away from the mounting block, but when I did finally get on, I was met with a familiar feeling. When he gets anxious, he shortens from nose to tail and drops the contact. It's not a fun feeling, but this time I felt much better about it. I immediately changed the way I was sitting and put him into some lateral work at the walk.

He never got as relaxed or accessible as he does at home, but he was super good! I stayed relaxed even on his spring board of a back, and slowly he started to focus more on me and less on everything else. And honestly he just seemed like he had a lot of energy and wanted to look at everything- not that he wanted to get rid of me or be naughty.

We trotted and he did his head wiggle, which sometimes turns into leaping, but I put him sideways in a shoulder-in and he stayed with me. Other than that, he was very well behaved. Even when a car came barreling down the road right next to the arena and then skidded to a stop in front of the neighbor's gate right near the arena. I braced for him to go nuts, and that was a bad idea, but he took care of me. It was probably the first time where I lost my confidence and he gave it back to me. I still yelled at the guy, drives me nuts when people speed by horses. It's fine to speed if no one is in the arena, but dude.

I love pulling on the left rein

The canter felt great. When he's super short nose to tail, he's a lot easier to maneuver, but his other issues come out more- like retraction in the neck, tightness in his back, getting up and down with his hind legs rather than swinging through, etc. But the canter wasn't bad quality or anything. The right remained better quality than the left, which has everything to do with him not wanting his left hind as engaged and me thinking that pulling on the left rein is the cure for everything.

I love that I was able to canter out there with no problems. The canter has been a source of fear for me in the past, mostly because it was just so big (it's SO much better contained now) and obviously when he bolts, he canters. It's not a rational fear, since he bolts less when allowed to canter, but for some reason I used to really not get that. Now that the canter is better quality than the trot, I can really maneuver him in it and get him more relaxed, which then translates back to the trot later, excellent.

And the trot did improve after the first bit of canter. I messed around with some of the lateral work in trot, though the arena is SO SMALL. I cannot believe that I got Rico to Grand Prix in this tiny arena (I rode in a slightly larger one during my lessons, rarely did I ever get into a long court, and when I did, it felt giant!), it's the same length as a short court, though a bit wider, but that's it. I couldn't even get TC straight down the long side for more than a couple steps before having to turn. So lateral work was mostly done on a circle, which is a useful tool anyway.

Canter right is so easy, he was a little balled up though

After the ride, I hopped off and hand walked him around the arena and ignored him in favor of watching the video I pulled these gifs from and playing with the Equisense app on my phone- it now allows you to check in on the ride as it's recording! So that was really cool, until he stopped. I turned to expect to see him staring at something or spooking. No. He looked like an elephant trying to balance on a ball, and then his knees buckled. He went to roll with my saddle on! I was like WHAAAAT ARE YOU DOING?!? and smacked his shoulder.

He got up reluctantly and then I pulled his tack, but then he didn't want to roll. Obviously. But hey he feels comfortable enough to roll there so maybe that's a good sign. My saddle was very sandy though, even though he didn't make it over.

I threw him in the cross ties and went into the house to grab something to drink. I watched him from the house as he went from staring toward me, deciding I had abandoned him forever, pawing like he thought digging to China was an option, standing with his foot straight out in front of him at 90 degrees, then rearing. I thiiiink he needs to be brought over more often to just stand in the cross ties for an hour and then taken home.

He was good to load back into the trailer and when he got home, he announced his arrival and no one cared. I hosed him down, put him back in his paddock, where he finally got his roll. Overall it was a great outing. I think we'll head back there in a couple weeks! This coming weekend though, we're going to a brand new facility...

Out of the Way

Things continue to go well with little TC. This last week we've had good rides every single time I've sat on him, which is very unusual. I think he's settling into living out in his big paddock (apparently he plays with his neighbors constantly and runs around too) and it's helping with his ability to just go to work. And I love his love of work.

My main focus, as I've said previously, has been to dump movements on him. I spent a long time doing the basic training this last summer, and it was great for him. And in the last couple weeks since I've been riding him again (before that he had a week off because he pancaked my foot), he's really shown me that he's ready for more. He really thrives on learning new things.

He's ready for his rider to stop looking down

That doesn't mean we're abandoning the basics though. Training scale wise, we're still working on straightness, and this I can see being an ongoing thing. Not because of him, but because of me. I just love pulling on the left rein. And his weak left hind wants to stay out behind him and to the inside, which makes me feel like I'm being propelled right (because I am), which makes me want to pull even more on the left rein (which I shouldn't). So a lot of our warm up is spent doing lateral work at the walk and riding figures at the trot and canter with the main focus of keeping him up to the left rein and not bending him at all that direction.

It's hard. But boy when he gets it, he's a different horse! And then he breaks. Oh well.

I'm also making engagement and activity in his hind end a priority. As his shoulders get less tight, he's learning to use them more (he stretches them himself in the cross ties as he gets his front leg as high up as he possibly can and just leaves it there, he'd love to be in the SRS) and he's moving bigger in front, but the hind legs need to catch up. I'm struggling with how to do this- he's already so short coupled and I feel like his legs go under him enough for where he's at training wise. He's got that baroque type in him (but I wouldn't really consider him totally baroque) that produces that big front end and slower hind end. Gotta speed up those hind legs, but without adding tension.

He's like riding a bouncing ball

On Saturday I managed to get some pictures (on this post) and video (coming when I can get it uploaded, ugh) of us! There were some things that I was really happy to see, but obviously with any media, there were some things that I really wanted to change.

He's still not looking as strong or fit as he was last year, but he's getting more comfortable with his balance and that's showing, especially in the canter. There were a ton of pictures to choose from at the canter, and not as many at the trot, which really shows how much it has improved. And actually I ruined most of the trot pictures (and so many canter pictures too, gah), not him. I texted Kate that it looked like Carl Hester had let some peasant ride one of his fancy young horses. She had to remind me that I did kind of make the horse. I forget that.

Oh yah, he didn't do this when I started with him

In addition to the basics, on Friday and Saturday we schooled some movements. They were mostly from First level, though I am absolutely drilling the haunches-in, renvers, and half pass at the walk and starting it at the trot too. I've been using test riding to kind of test out how these movements are going, and I've been really pleased with how easy he is to test ride.

With Rico, it was always the tests holding us back, not the movements (meaning we could do each of the movements but not string them together), and maybe that's just the FEI levels since the tests are so so long and difficult. But I'm really appreciating TC's attitude toward work and how developed his baseline gaits are, both of which help in test riding (and were Rico's weaknesses). During tests he doesn't need much adjustment or influence from me. There's not much prep work for any movements and when you, er, make a mistake and have to pull him into a movement, he just complies. No questions asked. As if that's just how you're supposed to ride (luckily he doesn't know that your rider shouldn't be going oh fuck I think we're supposed to lengthen here, go go go!)

The baseline gaits make all the difference. In no test did I have to remind him to stay on the bit (except early on he was coming a bit hollow in the canter transitions, that's gone now), stay forward, stay bending, stay focused, etc. He just does it. The more out of his way I can get, the better he goes. Sometimes it feels like I'm only there to cause problems and make mistakes and that if I just got off, he could do the test much better.

"Lengthened" canter, it's not as lengthened as he can go, but tbh,
I'm kind of afraid of his actual lengthening

I really expected First level to be too much for him, because the canter lengthenings are tricky and the leg yields and the smaller figures. But no, actually his 15m canter circles are more like 12m and his canter lengthenings are bombing as long as his rider lets him GO. Which I don't want to do. It literally feels like I'm galloping them and he's barely moving.

The leg yields are really easy in 1-2, and I'm only just starting to school the zig zag for 1-3. I have schooled some counter canter and I guess he had enough time on the wrong lead as a baby (so frustrating lol) that he feels totally comfortable in counter canter. Only occasionally will he boing up and swap (and honestly, it doesn't happen in the counter canter as much as it happens down the long sides), but I can't really complain about that right now since I have asked for changes recently. Woops.

He's so fun, even if the trot isn't as strong these days

It was a great ride and I'm really glad to have the test riding to help me understand where he's at. We're definitely going to do more test riding in the future (unless the rain keeps us out of the dressage court again, boo) and still picking away at the engagement, quickness of the hind legs, and my inability to ride him straight. And just enjoying the horse, that's been really fun recently.

Mind Over Matter

One of the biggest things that has changed in the last week is my attitude toward this horse. I don't think it will last forever, but I'm feeling tentatively positive. I think he's a good horse with some behavior issues (like most horses have at one point or another) and that I just lack confidence about them, which, along with the suspensory and not living out for so long, has made them worse. 

I sat down with myself last week and basically told myself that either I turn into the rider that he needs me to be, or I sell him. So I contacted a trainer friend about him and then as you know, started playing with him last week to get him fit so that people could try him, and realized that he had calmed down a bit with the new living situation, boosting my confidence. 

I'm not silly enough to think that this is it, that he's fixed and that I'll feel confident on him forever, but I'm just trying to enjoy him for now. The more training I can put on him now when he's good, the better he'll land later on if I have to sell him. Or with more training and keeping my confidence up, I can keep him. I dunno, I'm not married to either idea. I just want to enjoy him if I am riding him. 

And part of enjoying him was taking a lesson on Monday morning, which sadly didn't end up being the magical fun dressage time that I had hoped it would, but was still somewhat useful. What I didn't realize is how picky I needed to be with instructors. It turns out that I've gotten even more obnoxious about how I like to be taught now that I have TC, versus Rico who was generally a solid citizen, and now that I'm not the rider I used to be. I thought it'd get easier if I wasn't as good and if my horse was at a lower level, but it's not. 

I LOVE riding outside, until it gets hot or I miss
the mirrors

I first need to say that my not-that-great lesson probably occurred because of how I introduced my horse. I wanted to be honest and admit to my fear problems and TC's history (and likely future) of bolting. Because when I teach a new student, I err on the side of treating them like they don't have fear issues and that the horse doesn't have behavioral issues until they let me know, which has lead to some tears on their part. I always tell people- PLEASE let me know anything I need to know, such as past issues, fear issues, soundness issues. So I'm pretty honest about these things with new instructors. 

But it can really paint the way you are perceived, and that's what happened this weekend. When I say things like "he does have a bolt in him and it does scare me, but he's doing much better and I'm actually not scared right now," some people are going to stop before the but and ignore the part where he's actually doing well right now and I'm not looking for a fix on something that he's not currently doing.

Add to that the horse's unfortunate reputation at my barn for being a nut, and horse people's general desire to gossip, and I had a lesson that probably was better suited for how he was going a few months ago when I was actively having bolting problems. He certainly still has it in him and I'm not stupid, I know he's going to do it again, but I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and trusting him a bit more. Riding defensively with him just makes him worse. Assuming he's going to bolt almost guarantees that he does it. 

And he was SO GOOD. Let me go over that first before I get back to complaining. We rode real early, which he's not used to (and the time change made it worse). It was cold and he hadn't had his breakfast, so he wasn't perfect, but he was so good. A little looky and I probably should have cantered earlier in the lesson since that wears him out a bit and he chills out. Oh well, hind sight and all that. 

His shoulder-in felt great, I kept up my work to get him more rideable in it as we went along. I need to be able to change the angle, the bend, the connection, the step, etc. He kind of clunks into it and stays put. That's great, because it means that he isn't wiggling about or resisting me, but it also means that as I get his gaits going better, he's going to stay the same in the lateral work. He'll be this fancy looking horse on the short side, then he'll dump into his smaller trot for the lateral work. I need rideability. 

I love this. I heard a noise and he was freaking out.
Apparently he got his tail stuck on my jacket button
and I found him like this

The leg yields are the same way, I want to get him just more rideable in them. I find it a bit harder in the leg yield to do that work, since in shoulder-in I don't lose the angle so much when I ask him to bend more, but the leg yield just isn't meant to have tons of bend. I think when we can do half pass, leg yield to half pass transitions will be our friend. 

The canter felt great. She had me ride more over the ground, which made me smile. I love that we've flipped on this issue. For so long it was us trying to get him to slow down, now he's too slow. His canter felt amazing when I pushed him forward, and he started to really oscillate his neck and use his back!! He's never wanted to use his back at the canter before. I can see this being a game changer for us. 

The trot got better and better as we rode. We played with adding more energy and he stepped right up and I got closer to his super fancy trot. I just love how he feels when he's so INTO the bridle and really lifting over his back. Makes me feel like passage is a half halt away, which it is absolutely not, but that's the trot I want.

Unfortunately the lesson wasn't as good as the horse. I was really hoping to be able to get into the nitty gritty details of the connection on the left side (I think it's a right rein problem and I want help fixing it, it's so similar to what Rico did so I know it's me) and gain some tools on how to improve the lateral work. It was more about how to deal with his bad behavior (that he wasn't doing). But I did take some good things away. 

She pointed out that I needed to make sure that he lowers his neck when I take back on the inside rein- this will help when he does go to bolt because his neck comes up when he does it. I also need to be quicker on the uptake when he does stick his head in the air- something I haven't been as quick about lately and I know that's a problem for the dressage too. He can get 1-2 steps in of WTF IS THAT before I manage to put him back where he needs to be. 

I was feeling okay about it because he was just looking, not bolting, but a) he can look with his head down and b) when he does start bolting again, I'll have more control. Not to say that he can't bolt with his chin on his chest, because that has happened. If horse wants to bolt, horse bolts. I'm working on turning that off or toning it down, rather than trying to prevent it physically, though that is important too.

Saturday, I can't wait to wear my nice boots :( 

Lateral work is also really important, and I got a nice lecture that by six, he should be better at it. I had to defend myself because he's not naturally talented at it, he's not been ridden consistently, and with soft tissue injuries, lateral work can be detrimental, so even when I could ride him this summer, we didn't start the lateral work until the fall. 

So yeah he should be further along for six if I've been riding him since he was three... but I started riding him at the end of his three year old year and he's actually not even six yet. So it's two years, with the first four months not doing any lateral work because he was too green, and then toss in another break for nine months for suspensory rehab. And this winter we had about 2-3 months where we were dicking around with our question mark rehab and trying not to get swept away by all the rain. 

But he still needs to be better at the lateral work. I guess I just need to harass him more. I didn't get any new tools for that, but it's not like I've never taught a horse lateral work before. I'll just keep plugging away. There was no mention of the quality of his lateral work (other than that it needed to be more prompt to my aid), so I'm hoping that means that it looked okay. 

I think he's over angled in the right shoulder in, and over bent left. And I think his leg yield right is steep enough but is crooked, while his left leg yield is more correct but less steep. But I guess it was fine enough. I do know that my pickiness levels can be a bit much sometimes.

After our ride over the weekend

The thing that I can't let go of, is that after talking about how he did have these tendencies, my instructor seemed nervous. And that freaks me out. I've worked with a lot of riders with fear, and the worst thing you can do to them is make them feel that they SHOULD be scared while they're riding. Either through tone of voice, or the words they use or the actions, everything needs to be soothing and no big deal. If it's seriously a dangerous situation, help me get to a point where I can get off and then tell me to get off and talk to me about it. Because if I get from an instructor that I should be scared, I get scared, then he gets scared, and then he's more likely to do the stuff that scares me, which is scary and I don't want it to happen. 

I was a bit worried about riding on Tuesday night. It was supposed to be warm, and I did my best to push those thoughts and some other family drama out of my head and just continue to enjoy my horse. Spoiler alert (since this post was intitially written to go out Monday), he was AMAZING, we test rode T3 and worked on lateral work and walk-trot transitions.

I really didn't want some of the language used in the lesson and the focus on the bolting to cause me to question riding right now. I've actually been enjoying this horse for the last week. It's been really fun. I know it's not forever. I know the bolting will come back or he'll scare me in some other way and I'll lose confidence. I know that there's a good chance (actually no chance, this is 100% true) he's way, WAY too much horse for me and that I should sell him. But being able to ride him right now has been fun. And I'd hate for one lesson to derail that. It's fine if he derails it by being an asshole. It's fine if I derail it by getting nervous again. But I don't want to let an outside source derail it. 

I think I might find an event trainer to ride with instead. I need someone who laughs off his behavior and makes me feel like it's no big deal. Stop telling me (however inadvertently) that my fear is justified, people! 

Undeserving

I haven't gushed/freaked out about Rico lately on this blog.

Recently Rico was rushed down to the hospital again, this time for neck pain and a bad reaction to his WNV vaccine. He was breathing hard and unwilling to move his neck.

Last summer, Rico was sort of kind of diagnosed with neck arthritis. The vet turned chiro came out and said that she was super confident that he had neck arthritis, since most dressage horses at his age have it. She worked on him and from then on, I didn't do any dressage with him. It was really hard for him to bend his neck right. We still trail rode and all that, and Rico seemed fine as long as you didn't make him bend his neck right.

Right was always hard for us, now it makes sense

When we went to the hospital, they took blood and also did neck x-rays. The vet found what she thought was pretty significant arthritis, and they sent it off for a second opinion.

We got the results back on Monday and damn. Rico has pretty serious arthritis in almost all neck joints, the lowest one being the worst and then getting better from there. He also has remodeling by his poll and a few bone chips floating around in his nuchal ligament. I knew that last bit, let me explain.

Rico lived in a stall around in 2007 that had this small concrete window. He also used to be a bit head shy. At one point, I came to the barn and noticed that he had a huge lump behind his left ear. It wouldn't go away. Like for months. We took him down for an x-ray and found bone spurs and bone chips floating around in there, indicative of him cracking his head quite hard on that concrete, probably when someone went to pet him. I ended up stopping dressage for two years to let him recover. The vet wasn't sure how much range of motion he'd have and whether he'd do dressage again.

We jumped for 2 years instead

Spoiler alert, he came back to dressage. He seemed okay with the work, always a little resistant, but that was always his way.

I can't believe this horse. It's unlikely that the last couple years of leisurely wandering around his paddock made his neck arthritis so bad. He's had it for a long time, and he's had the bone chips for ten years now.

And he made it to Grand Prix. He did it for me. He was probably not the most comfortable in the last years of his dressage life, but he put everything he could into our partnership. Obviously if he had been in pain, I would have stopped. But he never told me no (he said whyyyyy do I haaave to quite a lot though).

Just another one of the reasons why I absolutely never deserved to have a horse as good as Rico.

Despite neck arthritis and a few bone chips floating through his
neck- we still got 7s on the piaffe

I'm not sure what the future looks like for him. The vet said that if we can't manage his pain with a daily quarter tab of prevocox, we'll have to do neck injections in almost all of his joints if we ever want him to be rideable again.

It makes me sad that I can't enjoy his retirement by wandering about on the trails without such measures, but he gave me so much for so long even when he wasn't feeling 100%, so I have no right to ask any more of him. Either way he'll be happy in his pasture and healthy, and that's all I want for him.

I'd love to do this again on him but we have so
many good memories, I'm okay with just reliving
those through this blog

Blog Hop: Nutrition

There is (was?) an awesome blog hop going around about what we all feed our horses. I've changed TC's diet a few times since I've owned him, and I'm in the midst of changing it now (reducing supplements since he was on a lot). This is what he's currently getting as of when this post is going out:

Hay:
AM (around 7:45am): 1 flake Grass; 1 flake Alfalfa
PM (around 3:30pm): 2 flakes Grass; 1 flake Alfalfa

The barn feeds 2 flakes per meal but I've opted to add another flake for the evening feeding so that he has food in front of him for longer (and he's a skinny minny on only four flakes a day). He used to get two grass flakes in the morning instead of having them split between grass and alfalfa, but I wanted him to have more protein/calcium, and the pasture where he's going to go eventually (if it ever dries out) feeds about half to two thirds alfalfa so he needs to get used to having more of it.

Grain:
3 quarts LMF Gentle Balance
12 vitamin E capsules (4800 IUs)
2 scoops SmartFlex III
1/3 cup Aloe Juice

TC gets his grain after he gets ridden, so won't get it on days where I don't go to the barn, which are few and far between right now. Eventually I'm hoping to have 1-2 days off of the barn per week, for now I still feel like getting him exercised every day is important.

The LMF Gentle Balance is awesome. TC doesn't need grain for energy or fat, just mostly as a way to get him to whinny at me. It's not too expensive, though I guess I could just be giving him grass pellets or alfalfa pellets and be paying a lot less.

He was afraid of this so we stood next to it for a while

Right now he's on the SmartFlex because SmartPak accidentally kept sending it to me.

Once as he's off the SmartFlex, I'll be putting him on MSM. He got on the SmartFlex when his stifle was acting up, it was always going to be just a short boost for while he was gaining strength. He's been looking good in his hind end lately, so I'm pulling it in favor of MSM, which is super cheap. I might look into other joint supplements later on, but for now he's not in so much work that I feel like he needs more. And honestly I'd probably want to start Adequan next year when he's doing Third if he's sticking around so joint supplements will probably stay off the table.

I might put him back on a hoof supplement. I had him on BioFlax 2.0 and liked that, though didn't order more when I pulled his SmartPaks. I think I might order more of that this week, though Omega Horse Shine is like 30 cents a day (vs 55 cents, lol told you I was cutting back financially) and it has pretty good protein levels. So we'll see.

I love the Aloe and Vitamin E. They're both so cheap that I don't even notice it financially, and it makes me feel better to know he's getting them. The aloe is for his stomach and the vitamin E is good for all sorts of things.

This picture cracks me up, I was talking to a friend
and he was so good about waiting for me, but sat
there with this look on his face a lot of the time

So his diet may change again- I'm still working it all out. But for now he's shiny and happy so that's good!

Where Things Are At

TC has been loving life in his new big paddock. And I've been loving TC in his new big paddock, which has been really refreshing.

I moved him a few days after he turned my foot into a pancake, mostly because he was going completely nuts without being able to be ridden. I hit my last straw when he realized that I had zero leverage over him and he got loose galloping around in the round pen two days in a row. I was super done with him after that, tossed him in the paddock, and ignored him for nearly a week (well, I mean I fed him and gave him pets, but no riding/longeing/etc to let my foot heal).

Then last Wednesday I took him out to longe because I had mentioned kinda wanting to sell him to a friend who had asked for a video. And after almost a week off, he just... went to work. No bolting, no launching, no rearing, no bad behavior at all. He was super chill about it all. I even hopped on him in my Dublin boots (it's still too painful to use my new boots, boo) and he was great. No problems. I let him start the canter work that day, even though I had wanted to wait another month, both legs have been holding up okay with more work, leading me to believe that maybe that left front one wasn't as serious as it appeared. I dunno, I was in a no-fucks-given mood so just put him back to work (slowly, but not restricting him to just trot).

Ground pole champions

The good behavior continued the next day. I rode Thursday night in the dark in the dressage court and ran him through Training 2 (which was super easy for him, but it was the only test I could remember). He was fine, nervous, but fine. Friday morning I rode him and he was great again, we rode in the jumping arena and were ground pole champions of the world. Then Saturday, he was great. And Sunday too. What is this madness?

It's not to say that he hasn't had his little quirks- on Sunday he had a bolt when he turned away from a pile of stuff near the trail course, about 50% of the time the first walk to trot transition is balky, and he really thought that a small dog was going to eat him and didn't want to walk by it. He is a young horse... but the rides have been really good and really productive! I don't mind spooking or being dumb, I just mind never getting to do the fun stuff because he's so nuts (and when he scares me, I hate that).

As for the rides, I'm mostly dumping on movements right now. He feels great in the connection, his back feels like it's suctioned to the panels of my saddle, and he's really well balanced laterally and longitudinally, aside from me struggling to track left so I make him tilt his head a bit that way when I'm not paying attention. The quality of the gaits feels great, I actually love his canter now. I hated it for so long, I didn't think he had any potential in it. But it's so easy to collect (well, to get a Second level amount of collection at least, he's not that fancy lol), I actually over collect it sometimes and he gets frustrated with me because he can't hold it and breaks. Sorry horse! The trot isn't as big as it used to be, mostly because he's a lot more relaxed now and he's a lot less fit. I think the trot will be back to magical levels when he's stronger. No complaints with what it's like now, it's got a ton of scope, just not as much reach as before.

That tiny dog was going to kill him

The leg yield is super solid at the trot, though not steep enough for 1-3 just yet I don't think. It'd be a tough movement if it is possible. When I push him more sideways, he gets retracted in the neck and isn't the most rideable in it when it gets steep. Generally he loses rideability in the lateral work, so that's a huge hump that we have to crawl over.

The shoulder-in is great. I'm working to ride it a little less bent tracking left to address the head tilting and my inability to get him to really stay connected properly on the right side. To the right, he feels wonderful. The next steps here will be to play with transitions within the shoulder-in I think, which is super fun.

I'm installing haunches-in currently. The angle is great at the walk, but he gets stilted and either off the bit or retracted in the neck, depending on how much I get on his case about it. The trot, well, it exists, but it's not very good. I'm mostly using shoulder-in to renvers to put it on so that he connects it to the shoulder-in a bit, that's been super helpful. Once as we have haunches-in, I'm sure we'll have half pass because the mechanic is similar enough.

The walk pirouettes are coming along! I want him snappier behind and I want them smaller, but those will come with collection at the walk, which I absolutely will not TOUCH for at least nine months. He's got a really nice walk and I'm trying to take my time to develop it. Adding collection too soon in the walk is the first step toward ruining that walk- ask me how I know (I totally ruined Rico's walk for a few years). So right now they're big and slow, but the mechanic is correct so I'm happy about that.

I totes rode him bareback from his paddock to the cross ties

The canter work, as I said, feels great. I'm mostly addressing straightness riding toward the mirrors. To the right, he wants to swing his haunches out and ride almost like a shoulder-in. To the left he wants to bring his haunches in and his shoulders-out. So we're basically riding the opposite- haunches in to the right and shoulder-in to the left.

I got bored one day and asked for a walk to canter, then worked on them when he totally picked it up no problem. They EXIST, which is really good news- the canter to walk has always existed when he has enough muscle on him, but the walk canters have been really questionable. Now the transition itself is reliable, but the throughness is probably 50/50 depending on how I set him up. I'm channeling Jeremy (screw up with confidence) when I accidentally ask wrong. Yeah it's helpful when I ask exactly at the right moment, but he should figure it out if I ask wrong too. Gotta build me an amateur horse if I'm going to keep him.

The other super fun thing is that I rode some flying changes this weekend! He's not ready at all to work on them- I like to have a better simple change and have counter canter when I teach them, but the idea with playing with them now is to get him understanding that this is a thing he will be asked to do in the future. I rode each of them twice over the course of two rides. His left to right one is one stride late behind but VERY on the aids. Like he never anticipated and it was exactly when I asked. I'm fairly decent at fixing late behind changes, so it doesn't bother me that he's late at this stage in his training. He'll figure it out when we really need them, which will probably be this fall or winter. The other one, the right to left, is a bit more questionable on the aid, but it's more likely to be clean than the other one.

I might have a death wish?

It was such a fun week with him, and I feel like I owe my friends and family a lot of presents because everyone was with me for a week when he was being terrible. I'm not really sure what I want to do in the long run with him. On the one hand, when he's good, he's the most fun I've ever had on a horse. He learns SO FAST and LOVES dressage. You can just tell this horse wants so desperately to work and do dressage, I would have killed for this work ethic when I was riding Rico.

He also is so fun because he is just built for this work. Don't jump to conclusions about that- it doesn't mean that this is easy on him or that he doesn't have weaknesses. He curls, retracts in his neck, is weirdly slow off the leg and hot at the same time, he carries tension in his lower back, he's super short backed so the lateral work is really hard for him, and he struggles to get his hind legs under him as much as they need to be. But with my ability to manage those weaknesses pretty easily (since Rico had similar ones) and my focus on getting his basics picture perfect before doing much with him, he's just figuring all this out super easily.

Then obviously on the other hand, he is a bit too much horse for me. I know it sounds weird to some people. But just because I'm an accomplished dressage rider, doesn't mean that I can handle crazy young horse stuff. I'm not technically an amateur, but I live an amateur lifestyle, which means riding alone in the dark (not anymore!) and being on a major budget for things like lessons/support. I think if I had the money to have him in full training and hand him off on the weeks he was being bad, it'd be a no brainer to keep him for a long time. Or if I had more time to ride in the mid morning, it'd be much easier. But he's a lot of horse, and he's put me through a lot. So we'll see. For right now, things are going well and I'm happy with him. Not sure what today's ride will entail. I might be redacting this whole thing.

Thinking that he might have to destroy the other
foot too, just for symmetry