Vaccinated

Last Thursday I received my second Pfizer dose and then on Friday, the SO received his first Pfizer dose! We were the last two to receive it in my family, so that's really exciting. We celebrated by having the family over to the new house for the first time on Sunday. 

So I figured today was a good day for another COVID update post, not something I thought I'd be writing in April 2021 when this all started. 

Right? Instead my left armpit was swollen

Almost Back to Work

We are having discussions about going back to work soon. This is good and bad news. I do MUCH better in the office, I'm just not a work from home person. I miss my coworkers so much. I miss wearing normal clothes (although I'm considering tossing all my jeans permanently). The bad news is that in less than a month, I'll be 55 minutes away from my work and 40 minutes away from TC which is 50 minutes away from work. The triangle of death. I did it from January to March last year and it's NOT sustainable. The good news though, is that my boss and the president are completely supportive of permanent remote work for our office. 

But again, I hate that. My current thought is to go in once a week on TC's day off. Except if my entire office is remote and I'm the only one in... why am I going in at all then? We have talked about having a single day where we all go in but what are the odds that I can swing that as TC's day off (he gets two a week and I like one to be on the weekend so I can do clinics and spend time with the SO)? Who knows. 

So we'll see what happens. I know my life isn't sustainable as it is, so something has to give and it will. I'll keep you all updated about that. I have plans. 

Now if I could work 5-6 hour shifts... I could
swing that easily, except not financially! oh well

New House = Gardening!

I can't believe we swung that during a global pandemic and in the market the way it is. The house will get its own post at some point, at least the garden will. But I've been really enjoying going over there on the weekends and doing yard work and planning out my garden. 

I've decided to try to grow a variety of food this year to see what we actually eat and to make sure SOMETHING grows because we don't know the weather patterns just yet. We are pretty close to the bay so hopefully it's a good climate for various things. 

My friends are helping out virtually, which has been so fun! I have to give a shoutout to Nicole though. I sent pictures of every plant in our front yard and she was basically able to tell me every single one on the spot. She also helped me prune a tree and answers all of my gardening questions regularly. Highly recommend her as a remote gardening tutor! 

Yah this was a trip lol 

Vaccine

So like I said, I got the second vaccine on Thursday. It knocked me on my ass on Friday and I was still affected all day Saturday and some of Sunday. I almost felt like I had mono again with how fatigued I was. Saturday morning I wanted to go ride but then had to take a break from carrying laundry up the stairs and stopped half way through to moan about it. Sunday I did ride but was so ineffective because of the fatigue. But by Monday I was feeling good again. 

I have to say, I'm so impressed with how the vaccine is being rolled out here. The SO was eligible on April 15th to get his (everyone in the state 16 and older) and he got it on April 16th. My experience was seamless. Arrived 15 minutes early, got shuffled in while people checked ID, medical card, and my signed release. Went up to the stage (it was in an auditorium lol), the people giving the shots were so nice, then sat in the crowd for 15 minutes and I was out. Same experience for the second one. 

Hopefully everyone is getting their vaccines soon!

Me on day three after the vaccine lol

Making Travel Plans

With the SO having his green card and both of us getting our vaccines, we've begun to talk about traveling again! We can now travel internationally (he couldn't leave before he got his green card) but we also have some stuff we want to do in this country. 

My first stop will be San Diego to visit L. I miss her so much and it killed me to be going through some bullshit the last time she was up in this area. So I'm planning on flying down there as soon as the SO is considered fully vaccinated (we put a hold on all travels until then because it's just safer) and L will have me. 

We also need to get out to Toronto, where the SO moved from and where he lived for 10 years prior. I'm not sure when we are going to go. 

Other places on our/my list in the country are: Austin, Pittsburgh, DC (Thanksgiving for his family's celebration), NYC, Michigan (my family's cabin), and Yosemite. We also want to get back to Tahoe! 

Outside the country, well, first Canada for sure as I said. We need to get back to the UK to visit the SO's family and refresh his pretentious accent. I also want to go to Ireland and Iceland. We had plans to go to Japan the moment he got his green card, which obviously didn't happen because pandemic. But that's high up on the list too. 

I can't wait to get on a plane again! Haven't been on one since January 2020. 

This made me laugh but oh man this country

Summer Fun

Moving this summer means that we've got a lot of around-the-house things to do, but we also have things to do outside the house that are now (well, as of when we move), nearby. 

Within walking distance, we have a big shopping center with a movie theater. We were part of a movie... club... thing? previously? Basically you paid something like ten dollars a month and got a free ticket every month, or maybe it was twenty dollars a month and got two free tickets? I forget. But something like that where if you went once a month it was worth it (you could also roll a certain number of tickets over). So we might do that again! There's also some shopping there and a bunch of restaurants. We've been to the stores and to get take out a few times, but we'll eventually be able to actually go to dinner and a movie there!

We're also way closer to the amusement park, so we plan to get season passes this year and go regularly. I think it opens up to residents pretty soon and at a reduced capacity, which I feel like can only improve the amusement park experience. 

The main reason why I want to focus on
relaxing and fun this summer

Gym Time!

The SO and I are doing really well with our fitness lately. He's been doing a lot of lifting, like 3-4x per week and some cycling with my brother on the weekends. When we move and when things open up, he'll start cycling more. In normal times, he usually cycles to work and back every day and then goes on a couple longer rides a week, plus lifting. 

I've been a bit more sporadic with what I'm doing, lifting once a week with the SO and then playing this obnoxious but addicting fitness video game that includes a ton of core work, I've also been hiking a bit too. I'd like to do some more lifting in the future as well as go out once a week with the SO on the bike for cardio, but what I'm most looking forward to is going back to climbing. I had just gotten into climbing in the fall of 2019 with my brother and then the pandemic hit. I really want to go back to my gym. The moment that I'm considered fully vaccinated, I'll probably try going! 

I think my ideal gym schedule is not a gym schedule at all, but more of just a lot of fun physical activities each week. Lifting with the SO, bouldering with my brother, playing that fitness video game, cycling with the SO, hiking with friends. You know, just staying active and having fun! 

I say no worries all the time oh dear

Well, hopefully this the beginning of the end, right? Man I hope so. 

I think some things will stick with me for good. For example, I absolutely love wearing masks inside when I'm with people I don't know. I haven't been sick since November 2019 and haven't been stay home for more than a few days sick since I had mono in May 2019. That is just fabulous. So I plan on at least having one on me probably for good. 

But I'm just so excited for any kind of semblance of normal. We're almost through it, you guys. 

It's Almost Been a Year

Oh my god I didn't want to keep writing these, and I didn't for a while because it really has just become the new normal. But there are some things to update now so I may as well update! 

I for one, would like it to stop

Masks

My barn has finally implemented a mask policy, it happened right after three people at our barn contracted COVID, I wrote about that here. I've also been wearing a mask around my family as well. We were using them whenever we were indoors or in close quarters before, but now it's just a normal thing. The only time I don't use one is while I'm riding or when I'm teaching AND no one is near me. I can teach 1-2 lessons in a mask but after that, it gets tough for me. My 8+ lesson clinics are impossible, but when the nearest person is across the arena from me, it's probably fine to slip my mask down to teach. 

This made me laugh

Also this

Unusual Holidays

For Thanksgiving, the SO and I went down to my parents' place and spent a few hours with them and my siblings/niece outside. That was great and no one got sick (as a reminder, my mom, dad, brother, and SIL had COVID last March), but apparently not everyone was so lucky and we saw an uptick of cases. 

The SO's mental health has not been great this last year, I mean... he moved away from all of his close friends in the middle of 2019 to a country with a shit administration that hated immigrants and then a global pandemic hit eight months later when he was juuuust getting the hang of his new job and his new girlfriend (me!) had just moved in. He and I hit a bit of a wall in November with how awful he's been feeling and with a lot of careful consideration and hesitation, we decided that he should go to visit his family for a few weeks over Christmas. 

Lol. That did not happen. Thing got way worse, obviously, and he absolutely could not catch COVID over there because his immigration status was in jeopardy if he was away from his desk for more than 30 days. So he canceled the trip (he hadn't bought tickets or anything, we were waiting on COVID numbers) and we hunkered down.

Christmas Eve, my family usually does a big dinner and we were very on the fence about going. We decided to stay home and I basically cried the entire evening. But we opened presents with ourselves that evening and the SO got me a new laptop because he said that mine was "an abomination" that he didn't want in his house, so we had fun setting that up. Then on Christmas day, we went over to my brother's backyard and stayed VERY FAR APART and kept masks on while we exchanged presents, then I went down to ride TC. It was a good day. 

I fell asleep at 9:30 on New Year's Eve. I mean, as per usual for that holiday though. 

Yes please

Lol excellent

Moving

Oh man moving was amazing. I have all my stuff with me, the SO and I have so much more space, he has a place for his bike trainer, I have my own office, and we have a backyard with an orange tree! We are still house shopping to buy, but being in this house makes that feel less urgent.

Having my own office has increased my productivity for sure, and it's made teaching so much more fun. I can sit in the sun and look out at the backyard and keep the door closed so I don't have to hit mute if the SO needs to make coffee. 

The only downside is that the laundry is downstairs but if the SO is around, he'll carry the laundry for me because I do it so pathetically (why carry the laundry downstairs when you can drag it and have it flump flump flump down the stairs?). 

I got dosed with caffeine (I can't have it, it
makes me anxious) and was WIRED one day

Love this

Stolen Time 

For some reason this winter, I've had a really hard time with the pandemic and feeling like it's been "stealing" from me. It stole the rest of our "honeymoon" period as we had to learn to cope with the literal worst year of our lives together. It stole my ability to see my extended family and my SO's ability to see any of his family/friends. 

I keep trying to tell myself that while sure, that's valid, it's also given me a lot of flexibility in my schedule working from home and teaching new people remotely and playing Stardew Valley with friends and I still get to see my immediate family because they live close and we have the ranch to socially distance at. But there's definitely some mourning happening there. 

The Deep Sate drank the blood of a bald eagle
while forcibly vaccinating a flag hahahaha

That's pretty messed up

Self Quarantine

For all of January, the SO and I basically self quarantined. No stores, no errands, nothing except me going to the barn and to my teaching barns. Masks and distancing when I went to the ranch to let my niece ride (we only did that once or twice). We did this because he had an immigration appointment in early February. 

When that was over (it went well), we celebrated by going shopping, lol. And then we had a socially distanced house warming with just my family in our back yard! 

This

Probably nothing wrong 

First Birthday Zoom

My niece turned 1 at the end of January and my brother and SIL took her up to her other grandparents' place because she's 1/4 Korean and there's a tradition of letting the baby pick a fortune for their first birthday. The sweetest kiddo picked the pencil and paper, meaning she'll be intelligent, then she dumped a bunch of rice on the floor and ate berries off a cake. 

Last weekend, we had a dual house warming (the SO and I just moved) and in-person celebration with my parents and brother's family. My niece is so close to walking! And I bought her too many birthday presents. I also bought her too many Christmas presents. It's going to be a theme! 

Also how I negotiate when TC wants
cookies, he gets cookies

The SO had to explain it to me like six times

GameStop

I was so entertained by that. That is all. That's all I wanted to say, I found it so unbelievably entertaining. 

Hope

We do have some hope in the form of the vaccine. My dad got his first shot a few weeks ago, I have numerous friends who have been vaccinated (some with the second one on board too!), and the SO's father got his first shot as well. My mom is too young so she is still waiting, but that works out because the vaccine hit my dad fairly hard, so she wants him to recover from both shots before she gets hers. 

The new administration obviously has given me some hope. I was not a Biden fan early on but I was happy to see that some things are happening. I still want to be critical of any government, so I am disappointed that more hasn't been done, but I do have to acknowledge that even with the delay on some things, it is objectively better than having our previous administration in charge. The SO and I are feeling a little less stressed about immigration. 

Lol I love it

In 27 days, it'll be a year since we were put on Shelter in Place. Eleven months of living with the virus in our lives. I cannot wait for life to return to some semblance of normal! Hope everyone reading this is healthy and excited to get their vaccines (if you can, I have one who cannot and who is very disappointed by that). 

Too Close for Comfort

A couple of weeks ago, we had a couple of COVID cases at the barn. It was pretty scary. It's since come out that the cases were separate incidences and were not caught at the barn itself. The moment the individuals felt sick, they stayed home, we got notice of it from our barn, and we went into a small lockdown at the barn (stricter COVID guidelines, no lessons, asking for people to be tested, no one allowed outside of boarders and trainers). No one else has caught COVID since and it's been two weeks (all who had it are recovered) so we should be in the clear. 

Still, it was scary! I ran out to get tested and it was an interesting experience, so I figured I'd write about it. 

My barn has felt a little bit immune
all this time 

The SO and I chatted and decided that while there was pretty much no chance I had it (hadn't been anywhere near the few people who were diagnosed in over a month), I'd still be very careful. I'd go straight to the barn to my private tack room and straight home, wearing a mask and gloves at all times. I also went to the barn very early in the morning on the day I took my test and until I got results. That way there was no way I'd be around other people (except the workers who I made sure to avoid by taking routes to and from my paddock that they don't typically use). 

So, I rode that morning and then went to the testing site. I'd made an appointment for several days from then but emailed my office job and explained that I needed to take half the day to stand in line and get it done. That was fine, so I canceled the appointment and went to the testing site.

I was there at 10:50am, 10 minutes before it opened and WOW I should have gotten there the night before or something. The line was circling a square block, an entire elementary school. I stood in it until 11:30am when I was finally given a colored wrist band and told to come back at 12pm. I decided to move my car closer just to have something to do, that took a couple of minutes. Then I saw that people in line had my color wrist band so I decided to go back in line. 

The line wrapped around this entire field and down
the block behind me

It was rather unnerving to be standing in line with a bunch of people who all had a reason to be getting tested, although they were pulling people out of line who had symptoms already. It occurred to me that even if I tested negative, I could easily get COVID in the line (luckily it was 99% outside and we all socially distanced but still) so then would go get tested again and be exposed again and... yeah. Luckily Kate was on the phone with me basically the entire time I was in line, so it was good to take my mind off of it. 

I finally got up to the tents at around 12:15pm or so. They gave me a clip board asking for demographics and contact information. They also had three sheets of paper detailing when I'd get test results and what to do in the mean time.

It was refreshing to see that I didn't need to quarantine as I had not been in "close contact" with a positive person in the last however many weeks. Close contact was defined as being within 6 feet of someone without a mask for more than 15 minutes. Nope! Definitely don't get that close, for that long, and without a mask to ANYONE anymore. How weird is it going to be to hug someone again? I'm kind of glad the "kiss people on the cheek" kind of greeting is going to go away, there was always this one person who did it to me and like, how do you ask people not to do that? I have no boundaries in my life with other people so I certainly don't know how. 

The 2020 meme game is pretty amazing 

It took about 30 more minutes to get into the gym to get tested. I gave them my insurance card, which was not necessary but helpful apparently. They put me in the database and sent me over to get tested.

The testing was NOT bad. I was all freaked out and kept leaning back, thinking they were going to go further in, but they didn't. The lady was so nice, she told me that she gets tested regularly and that she knows how uncomfortable it is but that it'd be over soon.

When it was over, I thanked her and headed home to hop on a meeting. 

Me when waiting for test results

Two days later, less than that actually, at 11am on Thursday I got a text and email saying that I could get my test results. I was driving so I immediately pulled off the highway and entered my info into the website. 

Negative!

I obviously felt way better after that. The brain is an amazing thing, as I'd been having a lot of anxiety that I thought I could have been COVID. Like feeling short of breath is something that happens when I get anxious... and stomach aches... and feeling woozy... and feeling full of adrenaline. You know, COVID symptoms. Fabulous. But it was negative and so was everyone else's at the barn! Phew! Best case scenario, no spread and everyone who had it feeling great by now. 

Happy Holidays everyone

I'm still obviously being safe, as we all should. But other than early March when my whole family had it and they wouldn't test you without symptoms (and had to shove it all the way into your brain, and it took 10 days to get results), I hadn't had any kind of exposure. I've known people who have had it, obviously, but no one who I interact with regularly has had it. 

Scary stuff! Hopefully by this time next year, we'll be much better off. 

This is Getting Old

Things remain weird. Is that how to describe it? I don't even know anymore.

Same

Getting used to seeing myself in a mask though

Remaining Healthy

So far everyone I know has remained healthy. Granted, both of my siblings and both of my parents have already had COVID and the SO and I think we were exposed already too. But there keep being these rumors about reinfection (currently people are saying no, other people saying yes but it's less bad the second time around, other people saying yes and it's way worse the second time around). 

But, as of today, I'm not currently freaking out about my family. I'm also lucky that they're still socially distancing and treating it as if they had never had COVID in the first place. 

Still Teaching

Man. So this is the first year where I'm not actively trying to get more students. The SO and I talked about it for a long time and agreed that me putting pressure on myself to teach as much as physically possible only to put more money into savings isn't a good thing for my mental health. 

Turns out that this is the ideal way to get more students, to act like I don't need any (not even like I posted about it). My clinic more than filled up last time, I taught 12 lessons in one day, plus 4 hours of driving. It was exhausting but SO MUCH FUN! I love clinics and I'm already being asked how many more I can fit in, so I might need to add additional days and split the clinic locations. 

I've also gotten a few new local (in person) AND remote clients in the last six or so weeks. I love teaching the remote lessons, they're so fun. And my in person clients (one started last week and two start this week) are super sweet. I just love sharing what I've learned about rider biomechanics and helping people with their tricky horses too. 

I also have a student I teach nearly every day and I've been wanting to write a nice long post about what it's been like to be present (nearly) for my client's every ride. I want to respect their privacy though, so I'm still working out how to do it. I love how far they've come though. It's fun to just relax and have each day build on each other rather than try to cram everything in during weekly or less often lessons. They've learned SO much though, the rider, horse, and lesson content are fully not recognizable from when we started. 

This made me laugh a lot

Hiking

I got the SO super into hiking, so we've been going every week. My friend who I was going with had something change in her personal life (for the good! she bought a horse!), so we put that on hold. I'm looking forward to seeing her soon and meeting the new horse soon! 

But the SO being my hiking buddy is wonderful. He and I are doing the pix in parks challenge that Santa Clara County has offered everyone. Seven hikes that are fairly short and fun with a location we have to find and take a picture at. Then we get a free tee-shirt or something! It's given us a really fun goal for this summer when there's nothing else to really do. 

Also Jesus wasn't white

IT IS NOT A HOAX

How stupid are people? Did the entire world conspire to shut itself down just to... what is the current theory? I can't even keep track. Something about wireless routers coming to live and hunting down everyone with vaccines because Bill Gates hates America?

It's amazing the spectrum people are on. Some people are off the rails believing conspiracy theories. Some people just pretend that it isn't happening. I know someone who literally flew to Florida for vacation and then came home and got tested (negative) and was like LOL I can tell my grandchildren that I survived Flordia in COVID times. Then was immediately going to parties and traveling all over again.

It really does sometimes feel like a fever dream. But luckily I'm in a very liberal area and people are doing a good job with masks, so I only feel like I'm going crazy when I go on the internet.

Yeah seriously, although I do have a free ride to Canada or
the UK if I want it lol

Right?

Not Going Back To Work

We're officially working remotely indefinitely at my office job. The SO's company has said they're not going back until January, but we're thinking that'll get pushed out. They also canceled their parties this fall, which were so fun to go to last year, a bummer but obviously that shouldn't happen. 

With more time to myself without my commute, I'm actually in some ways doing really well. I mean, you can tell by my TC posts that I'm channeling all of my neurotic tendencies into him right now. But I'm driving less than I ever have, I'm spending more time at home with the SO, still getting to spend some time with friends and family, and am in some ways, less stressed. 

It's weird to say that though, because I am really stressed. My anxiety hasn't been the best the last few weeks, I really miss being able to plan things in the future without thinking about the possibility that they'll be cancelled, and the SO and I are house shopping (or house rental shopping, we don't know what we're going to do yet). All that adds up to extra stress, so while I'm enjoying seeing TC more and having even more control over my schedule and all the good things, the net stress:relaxation ratio is still a bit shit. 

LOL I've only had one Zoom emergency when I accidentally
unmuted myself and my coworkers had to listen to me ignore
the meeting and tell the SO that the garbage needed to go out

The L Program

It was officially rescheduled for late October of this year through April of next year, all of it in Arizona. I'm... not sure what to do about that. I imagine it will be postponed again, although horse shows *are* running and uh, certain people in charge seem to not be as concerned as other people (who like, have medical degrees). 

My questions are: do I feel safe going at all? If so, do I feel okay asking someone to come scribe for me? If so, would we stay together and just assume that we'll get it from each other even if we do stay apart? What about getting there? It's a 15 hour drive, and I probably feel safer driving than flying, but do I want to do that shit? Especially in the winter in the rain (and going over the grape vine??) and when it gets dark earlier. I have to go three times. I don't know what I'm going to do if they run it. 

If I decide not to go, what is going to happen? I need to find a part 2 within a certain time or I have to do part 1 again. I wonder if they'll extend that time for our cohort though. I don't know, it's very confusing. I don't know when to buy flights if at all and I don't know which one of my friends I'd feel okay exposing to such an unnecessary trip during a global pandemic. Ugh.

Seriously 

Vacations

The SO and I aren't going anywhere in August after going to little cabins in both June and July. Unfortunately we just couldn't find any on the weekends I was available and now for the next three weekends, I have clinics and/or horse shows. BUT horse shows end on August 30th for me this year (we might go back out this fall if I think we can break into the mid 70s at Third or if for some reason he's ready for Fourth) so then we're free to go on "vacation" again.

Our next trips are planned for mid September and early October. We have reservations for long weekends at more little cabins. I'm very excited because we get to go back to Little Basin and then we head out to Lassen National Park! I was there two years ago and loved it, this time it'll be in the fall, so much colder. Also apparently there are terrifying river otters there that have chased everyone out of the lake so... uh, I guess it'll be a little different this year. Can we take the river otters and put them in the bathtubs of people who won't wear masks?

This is accurate 

Schools Staying Closed

I remember when my boss said in March or April that he thought we may not return to classes (I work at a college) until at least Spring semester. I thought, wow, what a bleak outlook. I figured we'd hold some in person classes in Summer and be back for this Fall. Now we're legit talking about not coming back until the following Fall semester.

It's a good thing to keep these cesspools of disease (schools) closed. I can't believe there are people out there risking their kids' lives or even just risking having to explain death to your child when their favorite teacher catches COVID and dies.

Just because, what, parents don't like having their kids around so much? Don't have kids then if you don't like them? I don't know, maybe this just makes me seem like the most child-freest child free person ever but doesn't every pro-lifer say that a woman has to "deal with the consequences of her behavior" when she asks for an abortion. Cool, let's take that phrase and put it on the parents who think that their kid's teacher's life is not as important as them getting their kids out of their house or *socializing* them. Deal with the consequences. Also maybe stop defunding public education.

Fabulous

Generally, things are okay here. It definitely feels like the ultimate group-project-where-we're-the-only-people-doing-the-work situation with this country.

I find myself looking forward to the weirdest stuff when the pandemic is finally over. I look forward to unsubscribing to the r/coronavirus subreddit. I look forward to not writing these posts anymore. And I look forward to being able to invite people over to my house again. Like, no one but the SO and I have seen the inside of our house in months. It's just weird.

Thought There'd be a Handbasket

Oh hey it's July already. Time is extra weird these days so I have to look at my calendar a bit more these days to keep track of what's happening.

When the pandemic started in our area in early March and I started writing these occasional update posts, I figured I'd write a couple and then it'd be done. Sweet summer child, right? Seems like they're here to stay so here's my update on how things are going with the pandemic.

Seriously

Opening Up

The SO and I decided not to take advantage of anything opening up until at least 2-3 weeks because we wanted to see if things got worse. In addition, for my own mental health, I wanted to wait until it was certain that things wouldn't lock down again. Nothing like telling my brain that things are normal-ish again only to have to go back on lockdown. Yes, I do treat my brain like a small child sometimes.

Sure enough, everyone ran out of their houses and licked each other, so things are tightening back up immediately. I can't believe how many people out there are flying on planes, not wearing their masks properly (if at all), and acting like there's not, you know, a global pandemic out there.

We've been to a few newish places though. We went to that cabin a few weeks ago and have one planned for this weekend. We went to a giant fruit stand somewhat close to us (and there were too many people there), we went hiking in the east bay (and there were too many people there), we went hiking in Saratoga (perfect amount of people there), and we've been feeling a little less stressed when going to more stores. We went to the camera store the other day and have been relaxing our strict grocery store schedule.

Just saying

More Antibody Tests

So, the SO got his antibody test a couple months ago and in my last update, I said that he had tested negative. We have both been healthy since like... October maybe? when we both had a cold. So we were just trying to find out whether we were potentially asymptomatic. The fact that he was negative could mean that we haven't ever had it OR that we were asymptomatic enough time ago where the antibodies were gone by then. Or the test was crap. All are options.

As you know, both my parents, my brother, and my sister-in-law had COVID in early to mid March (all but my brother were tested but it was very clear he had it). They are now asking those with antibodies to come donate plasma. My mom went in and they did an antibody test and the results indicate that she didn't have ANY. I think they're testing my dad as well, but they expect him not to have any either, but I suppose we'll see. It's one thing for the SO not to have any, neither of us ever tested positive for COVID, but my mom legit had COVID and now she has no antibodies. Except what if the test is bad? Ugh this is so hard.

It's okay though, given what the doctors know right now, if she (or my dad or siblings) were to get reinfected, she'd have a less intense version because there are other ways the body retains the ability to fight viruses. So I'm less anxious about them getting it again and more anxious about the state of the world given this information. It also makes me think that the SO and I HAVE been infected in the past and just had very mild symptoms or were asymptomatic.

Jesus, come on people

Staying Sane Amidst Anti-Masker Assholes

I've been okay this month sanity-wise. Most of the time when I'm not feeling my sanest, it's because I'm missing something silly like movie theaters, going in other peoples' houses, or driving further away than we're allowed to go.

That mostly spirals into me being very frustrated that this country is an absolute shit show in handling things. Seriously the president of the US is saying we should test less and just send children and teachers back into school willy nilly. I feel very safe in the bay area and in my little bubble going to the barn and to stores and even going hiking and staying in the cabin. I get worried occasionally, especially when we go somewhere newish where there are lots of people, but for the most part, I feel safe here at home and in my routine.

I'm very aware that until the rest of the state gets their shit together, we're going to be affected negatively despite doing a lot of things right. No movie theaters are going to open up in the state if hoards of people in LA are still going to the beach and breathing on each other. No amusement parks will open if all the morons in Kern County are spreading shit about how we'll all die of carbon dioxide poisoning by wearing masks for the 20 minutes they're inside a store (and yet, no surgeon has ever suffocated wearing a mask for hours on end??).

Literally if everyone would just wear a damn mask, and wear it properly, everything could open up again! They're seeing more and more that it's primarily spread through droplets. But everyone is so obsessive over their freedumb that they can't see past their own stupidity.

Right??

Immigration

The SO isn't from 'round here, which is great because he has the world's most adorable accent and says things like "dressing smart" and "rubbish" and "bonkers" and "Megan, I will not read the dictionary to you, that's weird" (he also has the world's driest sense of humor so I'm pretty sure at least one of the words he says in his cute British way is probably wrong) BUT it means that we're currently going through his immigration stuff. Luckily his company is dealing with a lot of it, but the lawyers royally freaked us out in early June and ever since, it's been a low key form of stress for both of us (mostly him).

So that's not been the most fun thing to go through for all of June and now into July. Theoretically he should have his paperwork submitted within the next couple of months and should be interviewed in a few months after that, then we just get his green card and we can travel internationally, which I'm very excited about! So that will be fun. But for now, especially with the president threatening to toss out people with visas (luckily his hasn't been targeted yet), it's been adding to the pandemic stress.

Ah, that's where we went wrong, the SO is too good for
this awful country, we're already talking about retiring in Canada

Lessons and Shows

The excitement this month was that I got to show. I have two more shows (potentially three) planned for August and more lessons. I feel so glad that riding never stopped during the pandemic, it's been really nice to go to the barn five days a week and hang out with TC. It's also been fun to continue to take lessons and improve my riding and the way TC is going.

Taking my own lessons has been good, I pay my trainers electronically now and so the only contact we have is them handing me the radio and me handing it back. I'm very excited to report that I finally have the Pixem in my hands and am going to work toward getting it geared up to work remote-lesson-wise. My goal is to get myself back into weekly lessons. Hauling to Anne has been really good, but sometimes blocking out an entire half day is a bit tough. And hauling to Tanya is not an option. So being able to ride with both of them regularly regardless of my schedule, will be amazing.

Also we can't use the phrase "avoid it like the plague" anymore

Teaching

I'm going back to teaching in person slowly. I have a couple of clients I teach at a barn that requires masks, so I've been doing that happily because I'm not an asshole. I'm also teaching clinics about twice a month. Most of my teaching still remains remote, which is great. I teach almost every morning before I ride my own horse, which gives me some really good structure in my day. My business has been more fun than stressful, which is an absolute necessity. I had a moment the other day where I nearly dropped a client because they were stressing me out, but it worked itself out okay.

Every summer I try to get new clients just because I know I'm going to lose a couple for various reasons (barn issues, moving, horse lameness, rider injury, swap trainers, scheduling problems), but this year I talked to the SO and we both decided that me throwing myself at my business the way I normally do isn't going to be good for my mental health. I'm happy to take on new clients if they come to me, but forcing myself to put myself out there and advertise when I'm not feeling it isn't something that's going to work with this pandemic.

It's sometimes really depressing to live here

Running Away to the Wilderness

The SO and I have decided to stay in these little cabins every month until it doesn't make sense. We went to Little Basin in June. In July, we're headed to Napa. In August, I'm horse showing a lot, but that's kind of the wilderness, right? In September, we're going back to Little Basin. Then in October, we're heading to Lassen NP.

It was INSANE how relaxing it was in June to just go on a vacation. Only when we were around other people (not often) did it feel like the pandemic was real (because we actually wear our masks, have you noticed how annoyed I am about this). I'm surprised how much the constant news (I get phone notifications) was affecting us until it was just GONE. We've agreed to put phones on airplane mode even if there is signal at future cabins. And each of our future cabin adventures is two nights rather than one, so that'll be just so unbelievably nice.

This entire pandemic

So yep, there's my COVID update. Hope everyone else is staying safe and wearing their masks properly.

To Show or Not To Show

Starting today, June 1st, I guess we're allowed to go back to showing. I've got mixed feelings about it all on a grand scale, but the reality for me personally is that there are two shows locally that I could go to in June.

I'm weighing my options. The first show is on June 14th, about a ten minute haul from my barn, and it's a new show facility with this being their debut show. I want them to run more shows. They're by far the closest facility to me and it's SO convenient. I know my situation isn't as rough as most peoples' situations, given that we have essentially unlimited shows within 3 hours, but it makes a huge difference to have them so close. Most of the places I go are an hour or more away and it's a lot. Especially during a global pandemic.

The second show is June 19th and 20th, also local, but more like a 35-40 minute drive, still well under an hour. It's a facility I've shown Rico at and he was a bit of an idiot about it, but I'm thinking that I need to get TC to more facilities, so I need to stop avoiding places that are somewhat spooky. He's pretty good now.

For this post: pictures from our shows together over the years

I ran numbers and financially it's totally fine - cheap even, for two horse shows, because of how close they are. Boyfriend is all set to come with me on the weekend days, as I'm allowed to have my household members with me. I'm not sure about the Friday show on the 19th, whether I'll see if I can bring someone else as a groom to hold my jacket while I warm up and all that. Who that would be, I don't know. My mom loves coming to shows, but I might insist on going on my own because it's just another layer of risk for her, although again she's already had the virus.

As far as being ready, well, do I ride Second or do I ride Third? I think the pandemic killed my Second level dreams. I had been planning on doing Second at the end of March and then a couple shows in April before I'd start showing 2-3 and 3-1 in May and June, then fully be showing Third in July and August. Maybe a Fourth level debut in the fall if I'm lucky and can get enough lessons. As much as it looks like I'm skipping the hard parts of Second level... fuck it, he's ready for Third level.

I practiced 3-1 last week and it rode clean and easy for him. Just minor things like needing to MAKE SURE to get the canter back to where it was when we picked it up. There are so many things that disengage him in that test because the canter work is so limited, so he gets a bit strung out after the mediums and after the changes. I rode 3-3 recently and it's a little harder, but fine to show, as a good friend once said "you keep a lot of nice things up your ass, Megan" which was her way of saying that I test ride well.

TC's last show at First level

As far as how I feel pandemic-wise. Well. I don't know. I feel a lot of cognitive dissonance about it, on the one hand I think we are opening up a little early given that our numbers are still rising. But testing is so far behind that we won't really know, right? Our area is doing well, our ERs are not overrun or anything. I'm definitely pushing the limits of SIP a bit more now, but I'm not going as far as to travel out of state to get my nails done, I dunno.

I like the documents both shows put out about keeping people safe according to the new guidelines. They're requiring masks, have lots of hand sanitizer, and you're only allowed to be there for your test(s) and then you leave. Honestly, I don't think I'll need to get anywhere near anyone else there, it'll be much safer than going to my barn, going on a hike, or going to the grocery store. And I'm only showing one horse and mostly just one test (planning 3-1 on the 14th and 19th, 3-1 and 3-3 on the 20th). I can scratch the second show on the evening after showing at the first show if I get home and go "nope fuck that," just losing office fees, so that's helpful.

First level

So as of today, I'm thinking of just signing up for the June 14th show for one test, 3-1, to see how things go. I'll hold my entry for the next show (which closes the 15th) and send it in if I feel comfortable both pandemic-wise and with my horse.

Honestly, I don't know how many more clean tests he needs to give me at home for me to believe that he's capable of showing at this level. I can just see Tanya rolling her eyes at me while I debate whether he's ready for 3-1, he's more than ready. Hasn't had a bad change in over a month, his gaits are looking fantastic, his walk is actually a walk now, and his trot lateral work should be all 7s at least. Changes will be at least a 6, mediums in trot and canter toward the 7s if I ride them well enough. Walk pirouettes could score an 8 with the right judge. Nothing is under a 6 right now. Except maybe the walk to canter when he wants to jig into it. And maybe the extended walk if he jigs. It's really just about keeping him from jigging.

What will basically be his ONLY show at Second level, just the
one 2-1 test, although he was ready for 2-3, we scratched because
it was SO windy that day, fuck that. Then pandemic happened, so
we just kept training and now he's solidly at Third level so ??

Where do you all fall on the spectrum of how people are feeling about showing? Do you think it's premature? Think we should have kept showing no matter what throughout this time? Think that it'll depend on the organizer/location/layout/etc? I'm curious.

Missing Precedented Times

Here's another virus update. Again, I'm trying to do these once or twice a month just so I can look back on this time and... I dunno, remember how shit it was? I'm honestly not sure.

From a bike ride with the SO this last weekend

Antibody Test

The big news for this update is that the SO took an antibody test and it was NEGATIVE. So that all about confirms that I would be negative too. We spend/spent a ton of time together. My thought that I was exposed back in February at the Mary clinic may still be true, but I guess I didn't get it? Or the antibody test was wrong, which is a real possibility this early on. There are all sorts of things coming out about how Vitamin D (which I get a ton of) and CBD (which I take twice a day) could deter the virus or whatever, but none of it is strongly backed up, so I will continue to assume that I could get the virus any day now.


Family Health

Everyone in my family remains healthy, even my four immediate family members (both parents, brother, SIL, including their daughter who was never sick but obviously was exposed) who already had and recovered from the disease. More and more information keeps coming out about whether or not you can get the virus again, so I remain a little anxious about their health, but I'm learning to let that go. The fear isn't as strong as it was when this all started because I keep telling myself that none of them had to be hospitalized the first go round so even if they got it again... I dunno how it all works, but I'm happy to believe that they'd be okay getting it again because that gives me peace of mind.

Any time Target gets a new HP shirt, I get a new
HP shirt, okay? I exclusively wear them and
joggers to sleep now

Virtual Games

The SO and I have been playing a surprising amount of Jackbox with friends over video call. It's super easy! You basically just share a screen and play through your phone. We set up an ipad to show our faces, then we also join with a computer running Steam and share that screen. Super easy and super fun. I think my favorite has been playing with my parents, who aren't super tech savvy. But we've played with some friends too and it's all been fun.


Trail Riding

I met Kate out on the trails a few weeks ago and that was a blast. We were basically the only two out on the trail we picked and got a solid two hours of time hanging out with each other, something we haven't gotten to do much, obviously. TC is such a star on the trails and so is Kate's new horse, plus, they seem to get along really well. I think it might just be that TC has little to no social skills, so interprets everything Duende does as hilarious and fun. I realized this about TC when I was teaching the SO about horse facial expressions (because he thinks that when TC looks at me with his ears forward, TC looks skeptical and I just think he's projecting, not everyone is skeptical of me!) and realized that I'd LEGIT never seen TC sneer. He either looks happy or bewildered.

From hiking, the trail is very wide!

Family Time

After they more than recovered, the SO and I have been heading out to the ranch a little bit to spend time with my parents and my siblings join us sometimes too. We stay outside, physically distance, and use a lot of disinfectant. It's been fun to see them and to hang out at the ranch with the animals. Being in a condo isn't nearly as fun as being at the ranch and it's so nice to have something to look forward to. We've been there twice (the first time was over three weeks ago so we're certain no one was infected then).


Opening Back Up 

The state began allowing retail services to open up again. The SO went to a bike store last weekend and said that they only allowed a few people in the store at a time, they sprayed your hands with disinfectant when you entered, required masks, and once inside, you couldn't browse (they just told you where the thing was and you could go get it).

I have mixed feelings about everything opening back up, as I think we all do. First, I think it's appalling that people are so dependent on their jobs that they'd rather risk infection than continue to not work, but I think that is an inherent problem with capitalism. Opening up should happen when epidemiologists deem the country ready, not when we're starving as a nation because a) wages are so low that people are incapable of saving an emergency fund OR b) the federal government refuses to support their people financially in a PANDEMIC because after all, a person's inherent value is dependent on the amount of money they have so eh. AND people seem to be shrugging off all the people who died because so many people have survived, maybe we should shrug off any deaths caused by things that people have recovered from, that's sad your loved one died in a car crash but I know tons of people who survive car crashes every day so let's all ignore the traffic laws intended to protect us from dying in car crashes. Don't let fear ruin your life.

BUT at the same time, I'm kind of cool with rumors of things opening back up leading people to kiiiind of (not ignore) push the limits of SIP. I think if we open things up truly in stages, we'll see a lot more death and destruction, vs people pushing the limits here and there, going out a tiny bit more, seeing a few more people. I dunno, maybe that's just my mind making excuses for me pushing the limits a tiny bit more. All I know is that FINALLY Santa Clara County is doing free COVID tests for anyone who wants it and our hospitals/ERs have plenty of room in them.

First evidence I saw in person of opening back
up: the Starbucks in our local Target was open

Hiking

Our parks have opened back up, so I've been hiking once a week. I go with one of my good friends and we hike for a few hours out on the wide trails. It's allowed by our county as long as we physically distance, so we are both okay with it, even if it feels a little questionable at times. But then I remind myself that we are not driving out of state for haircuts or manicures... nor are we hitting the beaches or gathering in big groups. This has honestly been one of the best things for my mental (and physical) health. It feels like a weekly reset for myself mentally, just go do a physical thing while laughing with a friend.


Clinics

I've run a few virtual clinics and am teaching a bit remotely, but in May I did go up to one of my clinic barns and taught in person too. I don't touch the riders, have disinfectant wipes for the radio, and everyone stayed away from me. It was a blast to see my clinic riders again and it was so nice to do something different. I missed staying overnight with Peony and ordering ramen with lots of corn and watching movies (also not driving up and back in the same day, although I live closer now), but it was still fun to be up there. And it's been more than two weeks since then and no one got sick. Can't wait for the next one!

Another from the bike ride

Shows

I have mixed feelings about shows. There are two in June that I could do, they're very close by, but I'm still deciding. I'm leaning toward going, only because they're so close and it's easy to just haul in and out and not touch anything. I did turn down the offer to judge a barn show recently though, mostly because I don't want to prematurely automate my judging but it also occurred to me that I'd be interacting with a ton of people that day so nah. When I'm showing myself, I'm just there for an hour and a half and gone. Judges are there all day. So apparently the line for me is relatively thin, who knew.


Conspiracy Theorists

I'm surprised at how many people think research means looking things up on Youtube. I'll just leave it at that. Pleased to say that it's just a few people on Facebook and a couple on IG and let's just say that this behavior from them doesn't surprise me.


Barn Time

The barn is slowly returning to normal-ish. My trainer has been down twice, the chirovet came out last week, there was a saddle fitter around at some point. It's feeling more and more normal, which has been nice, although occasionally I start wondering. With this, I've been bringing the SO out a bit. We've spent so much time together during the pandemic, it's been great for us, so we chatted about wanting to be a little more involved in each others' lives. He rides bikes, so I told him I'd ride with him more often, and he said he'd come to the barn with me more often. He loves photography so he's been bringing his camera out and getting some amazing shots of TC and I just hanging out (I told him I didn't have ANY of me and Rico just hanging out, something that makes me a bit sad now that he's retired), I'm so happy.

Love these pictures

Generally it's been okay over here. I have my jobs (I'm teaching remotely and clinicing a bit), although my research job is getting zero COLA (cost of living adjustment) and our salary study was rejected, so basically no additional money this year and probably for the next several years because the state cut funding. But I'd take that over losing my job, obviously.

My physical health is okay, probably gained some weight but I don't believe in scales so I don't know, nor do I care. I probably need to workout more but I'm letting myself relax a bit. It's okay to not always be at the top of your game, I think this pandemic is teaching me that.

My mental health has been better, of course, but I can still count on one hand the number of truly horrible days I've had since this thing started. I've been REALLY consistent taking my CBD, which is probably why I've survived so far, honestly most days I feel pretty good. Only the occasional OH MY GOD CAN IT JUST STOP NOW PLEASE moment plagues me each day, but at least we're all in this together, right?