Checking in with the Vet

On Monday, TC got poked and prodded. He's still not looking amazing unfortunately and some of that is just spending time in the new posture and building the muscle. However, I also have been using this extra time to obsess over him and get him on a program that is more appropriate for an FEI horse.

So far, he's had his saddle fit, gotten chiropracted, we've been experimenting with bits, and I put him on a new muscle builder that Tanya wanted him on.

I'm still not thrilled with how he's looking, so I called the vet out and yesterday she came to see him! This isn't my lameness vet, who I plan on seeing if he hasn't improved by the fall, but this is our fabulous local vet who does a good job with all the other stuff.

He was sedated but wanted to be part of the
conversation so he rested his chin on the door

I basically explained that he's doing Third level work very well and is generally a happy camper, but he's just looking like crap. Namely his muscle development is less than I'd expect it to be and his coat has been real shit this year. I also mentioned that he'd developed some windpuffs behind (they still look 150% better than Rico's ever did lol) and wanted her to just prod them and make sure they weren't a problem. Horses get windpuffs, but you know, the vet was already there.

She palpated his back and said he looked great there! No back pain, which could easily cause muscle wasting, so that's really good. She thinks his saddle is fitting well and that he's working well over his back, phew.

She then palpated his tendons all over and I did mention the previous injury. Apparently all his tendons feel great, super tight, with just the injured suspensory being the tiniest bit thicker than the uninjured one.

The windpuffs are definitely there and not the best, he's got three different places where there are issues. Again, Rico had huge windpuffs behind that looked very similar. TC is a very heavy horse learning to collect on a smallish hindquarter for his body size. Not entirely surprising that he'll be showing some wear and tear back there after all these years of working. So I'm a little sad that we're starting to look like an adult horse, but it's okay. As long as I don't put undue stress on them, they should just remain as windpuffs.

The only thing she found that I feel a little concerned about is a little more fluid in his left stifle than his right. So I'm going to back off the pirouette/piaffe work until we can get some adequan pumping through his system and we're also going to start back with our stifle exercises. If that doesn't keep it at bay, I'm prepared to inject that stifle maybe coming into winter when we really have to start the pirouettes.

Blurry picture from a recent Pixem session, hoping to do a remote
lesson as early as next week!

From there, we chatted about ideas.

- She said that he's the right breed to have EPSM, a muscle disease that can lead to a bad coat and muscle wasting. So we pulled hair to test for that (I actually wanted Rico tested years ago but at the time, you couldn't do it with hair, you had to do a muscle biopsy and uh, no, so I just changed his diet).

- She said that she wanted to run a CBC and see if he's deficient in anything. Results came back the next day and he isn't, so that's good.

- She's pretty convinced he's ulcery. So I bit the bullet and ordered him ulcerguard. I know there are others out there but I found a screaming deal on it and just want to make sure that everything is GONE. Then I'll put him on an ulcer management supplement and probably do those poprocks once or twice a year to try to keep any new developments at bay, hopefully this is the one time I have to do ulcerguard.

- She said she'd be happy to prescribe adequan and recommended to do a loading dose of 7 shots, one every 4 days. So that's great and we'll definitely be starting that this fall, probably doing that loading dose twice a year and maybe doing a shot a month in between? I'm not sure what the current protocol is.

Ran out of TC pictures, here's more from the hike

From there, we did his teeth and I cut her a check and thought a lot about all these things for the rest of the day.

First, I'm so glad that his legs are okay. I'd so much rather deal with anemia or a muscle disease than another injury. I do want to be careful with that left stifle and keep an eye on it because the moment it needs injecting, we're doing it. I also ordered sore-no-more and am going to use that on his left stifle before and after riding each day (and also on his windpuffs). I'm going to look into icing or back on track for the stifle too. That's clearly the weak point.

I'm also glad his bloodwork is normal, even though treating anemia or some kind of deficiency is easy! Then it's two weeks for the EPSM test, so until then, we're just going to hold tight. He hasn't tied up or anything, and he's confirmed in his Third level work, so it's no big deal to wait a little bit. It's clearly not severe if it is EPSM.

The one shady part of our hike!

Like I said above, I sold part of my soul to get some ulcerguard to help him out in that department. Unless he's got EPSM, which is a possibility, the muscle wasting and coat issues point to ulcers. He doesn't show the classic signs, but his life the last couple years has been stressful. We moved to several barns in 2019 (from January to August 2019, he lived at four barns), including one he absolutely hated, he and I had a really rough time while at that barn too. Then we rode with Tracey in 2019, when he really started bucking a lot. Then we switched to riding with Tanya, which has been way better for our relationship and has eliminated his bucking, but she is pushing us pretty aggressively to the FEI levels, which is great! But inherently stressful for TC.

As much as I'm cringing at the cost of all this, I fully know from Rico that this is absolutely what it takes to maintain a horse at the FEI levels. It's stressful to move up the levels, so ulcer treatment will happen sometimes. It's hard on their bodies, so adequan, legend, joint injections, supplements, etc will be necessary. It's the price (literally) to pay for having an incredible journey like this one. I feel like I've been lucky to have a mostly low-ish maintenance horse until now. He's proven himself worth it, so I'll be doing what it takes to help him out!

An Abundance of Robot Cameras

I always said that I wish I had the money to pay someone to follow me around on my horse videoing me the whole time. And now that technology has caught up with this vision, I have a lot of robot cameras following me around.

Soloshot

I bought my Soloshot 3 in August 2018, it was on sale (it's like $800 now! I looked it up in my 2018 budget and I paid $427.93 for it, including tax and shipping) and much cheaper than the only other option at the time (the Pixio, especially because I don't/didn't have a video camera). I've gotten a lot out of it over the last two years and still really love using it. My main complaints are that it's a bit unreliable, it's hard to get videos onto my phone for IG, I can't do remote lessons with it, the battery isn't the best anymore, and I can't use it indoors despite them promising over and over again that they were going to get that done.

When I realized I wanted more lessons than one a month back in early April, I looked up what it was going to take. I could haul to Tanya's... it's probably a 2+ hour haul one way, meaning I'd have to go on a weekend only (and coordinate her show and clinic schedule with my show and clinic schedule) and probably stay overnight. Then the Pixem came out, and without needing the video camera, it was way more affordable, like, still expensive obviously, just not as bad as it was. But, all it'd take is a single clinic for me not to be able to do, plus the gas money and wear/tear on my rig, to make getting the Pixem worth it. So I ordered it. It was backordered, so I waited several months and it finally arrived in early July.

Pixem

I started seeing the Pivo everywhere and it looked really cute! I ended up buying it just on a whim before the Pixem arrived. Even if it didn't work at my busy barn, I'd love to have something super portable to have at the ranch when I'm riding horses there. And omg when my niece starts riding, it'll be so great to have while I'm teaching her.

So, that's how I ended up with three cameras. I feel really weirdly guilty about it, so I need to say this: I can't remember the last saddle pad I bought, I have only taken one lesson a month for YEARS until very recently, and I don't drink alcohol (so therefore never spend $8+ a drink at a bar) or go on vacations other than camping. I haven't even been out of the country as an adult. Different people spend money on different things, apparently robot cameras are my weakness. Okay, enough explanations.

Pivo

Here's my list of pros and cons for each.

Soloshot 3
Price: ~ $800 (I paid far less because apparently it was on a major sale)

Pros:
- doesn't take too long to set up
- only have to charge the one device
- can work on the edge of the arena
- lots of range, can follow you when you're very far away
- can work on hills (it will go up and down, not just side to side)

Cons:
- only works outside
- video quality isn't great
- tricky to get video onto my phone
- sometimes videos trees/loses you way easier than the Pixem
- takes a long time to charge
- doesn't hold a charge that well
- no ability to do live lessons
- terrible customer service

Soloshot

Pixem (I bought it here)
Price: ~ $900 including shipping (I got a discount, the SO works at a company that infuriatingly gives him a lot of discounts)

Pros:
- works inside and outside
- extremely accurate
- video is in phone (so therefore phone determines quality, and I have a decent phone)
- remote lessons are possible
- can work on the edge of the arena

Cons:
- takes a while to set up
- doesn't have a ton of range (fine for a dressage court though)
- everything needs to charge (beacons, watch, camera, phone)
- my phone isn't always charged all the way
- can't listen to music/etc while it is videoing
- remote lessons need either a ceecoach or a second phone

Pixem

Pivo Silver
Price: $150 shipped (I paid that amount)

Pros:
- super fast to set up
- great customer service
- way cheaper than everything
- video is in phone (so therefore phone determines quality, and I have a decent phone)
- works with software so it theoretically should get better over time (it already has been improved)
- quick charging, I can just charge it a bit at the barn each day (vs bringing it home)

Cons:
- struggles with multiple horses
- works best in the middle of the ring (disruptive)
- is definitely the worst at following you of the three
- not reliable enough for remote lessons
- my phone isn't always charged all the way
- can't listen to music/etc while it is videoing

FYI, none of them come with a tripod, so I picked one up at Best Buy. That one lives at the barn.

Pivo, I was right at the edge of the screen lol

So my thoughts are: if you just want something fun to snag some videos of you while you ride mostly on your own, grab the Pivo. If you want remote lessons or if you only ride indoors or if money isn't a big deal, get the Pixem. If you mostly ride outside and want something more accurate than the Pivo but without the price point of the Pixem (though man they're about the same price now), get the Soloshot.

As for now, I'm keeping all of mine. I know it's really overkill, but I have a good reason to hoard the cameras for now. The Pixem is great for remote lessons and for videoing accurately in the covered arena during the winter when we're stuck in there, but it takes a long time to set up and is just generally more of a pain in the ass to lug around, plus I fuck it up frequently unfortunately. The Pivo is super fast to set up and I get videos right on my phone that I can check as I'm riding (I LOVE that), but it sucks in group settings so I'm looking forward to using it when I barely have time in the mornings because it's fast and I'm basically guaranteed to be alone riding that early. I can also easily bring it to my parents' place to play with their horses with. The Soloshot doesn't work inside and doesn't do live video, but it's great for a quick setup in a busy outdoor arena where I don't want to take the time to set up beacons and when the Pivo is going to get confused.

Despite the overkill, neither the Pivo nor the Soloshot are worth enough to sell anyway right now, I think my plan is to keep them long enough to know which one(s) I find the most value in and then decide later.

But hopefully this post helps people figure out which one is best for them! Even if it makes me feel like I have a problem.

The Surgical Option

So I've been chatting with Custom Saddlery for a while now about my saddle situation. I asked them what their closest model to the Versailles was and they said nothing they have in production right now is anywhere close to the seat on the Versailles. That sucks, I honestly would have a lot bigger budget if I was guaranteed to have the seat of my saddle with the flap of my choice. JUST SAYING CUSTOM.

They kind of skirted around my next question, which was whether I could ship them my saddle to have them remove the flaps and replace them with a new flap with a block that gives me enough support without ramming me into a position like the Flight's did. They said that they're sure they can find me something that works and ignored my question about surgery. Then I told them that the Flight was a no go and they kind of backtracked a little and said that doing saddle surgery was an option, they could for sure replace the flap on my saddle.

The views from our recent pix in parks hike were amazing

So now I have options...

1) I can continue my quest for an additional saddle and just ride in the Versailles as is until that happens.
Pros: I can keep riding in the Versailles until then, there's no risk to the Versailles if it doesn't work out, and I have the Versailles for my next horse.
Cons: This is going to be expensive as shit and I might waste a lot of money trying saddles and bringing out fitters.

2) I can ship my Versailles to Custom and have them put a new flap on it
Pros: I literally get the exact saddle I want to have in the first place
Cons: They could fuck it up and ruin my saddle for good, I wouldn't have a second saddle so would be in the same boat when I bought another horse, my saddle is older and the seat isn't going to last another 30 years so I will be in the same boat again soonish, and most importantly, what do I ride in while it's over there???

3) I can find someone local to put a new flap on my saddle
Pros: again, I literally get the exact saddle I want to have in the first place, I don't have to deal with shipping
Cons: again, they could fuck up my saddle, I wouldn't have a second saddle for my new horse, I wouldn't have anything to ride in in the mean time, and what if the person doesn't do as good a job as I assume Custom would...

Hiking up there was a bit rough, not going to lie

My plans have changed to this:
- keep trying saddles but don't spend very much money doing it, if the right saddle comes along, I'll consult with a fitter and buy it
- contact a couple of fitters I know are affordable for fittings/trials AND represent multiple brands (I'm a little sick of Custom telling me that they're sure they have a saddle that fits me, what if y'all don't, okay?)
- seek out another 17" Custom Versailles to buy and when I get that, send the one that's in better condition to Custom or a local fitter so that I can keep one intact and at home to ride in while it's getting the new flaps
- chat with local saddlers and see who might be able to put a new flap on my saddle around here

I found a 17.5" Custom Versailles and have emailed on that, I have an alert set up on ebay, and I'm just generally searching around for one. I'm also asking my Custom rep to find me one, although she said she's never seen one other than mine. My next task may be to email all the used saddle shops and have them email me if they get one in.

Fingers crossed I can find one!

Another Weekend Away

Last weekend, we zipped up to another little cabin in the woods! This time, we went to Bothe-Napa Valley State Park, just a couple hours north. This cabin was really cute and way more hotel-like than the one we had at Little Basin last month. There was a kitchenette and a full bathroom! Plus, the bed was more comfortable. And, we were there for two nights instead of one!

We slowly made our way up there on Friday. I went down to the barn that morning to ride TC around bareback and just hang out with him without worrying about work. Then we packed the car and headed out.

View from almost the top of the hike we took 

These Manzanita trees were so cool!

I’ve been telling the SO about this one taco place in the east bay since we met. It’s my favorite place in Northern California even though I’ve only been there a few times. FINALLY we got to go for lunch on our way up there and it did not disappoint. The SO hasn’t had enough good tacos to be obsessed with them like I am, but the three he ate got him a bit closer.

We then drove another hour or so and stopped at the grocery store for some food for the weekend. We didn’t know we’d have anything but a tiny fridge and a microwave, so we mostly grabbed prepared food or things we could microwave.

Finally, we made it up to the cabin and settled in. Luckily, we had phone signal, though we spent a good amount of the time keeping our phones on airplane mode so that we could get away from the constant news cycle. We made ourselves at home, relaxed for a bit, then went on a walk around the campground and out to this really odd little cemetery/nature walk.

Full sized bed with a surprisingly comfortable mattress

Kitchenette (there was a sink to the right of this picture

Tiny, but full bathroom with a shower next to the toilet

Saturday, we had the whole day up there. We decided to sleep in a bit, then head out on a hike after finding out that the visitor center would remain closed the whole time (it's been a little bit of a bummer because I collect magnets from wherever I go, but it just means we have to go back!).

First of all, everyone on the hike was once again really respectful and kind about masks and social distancing. Even on trails where you could stay apart, we put on masks as we passed each other.

The hike was super fun, but the view from the peak wasn't anything too exciting. We actually enjoyed the views from a few other places more, but there was a feeling of accomplishment of making it to the top.

Coming down on a different trail, we must have passed a yellow jacket nest or something because poor SO got stung (for the first time ever! wtf how has he escaped being stung by a bee for so long) and then to my horror, the bee kept landing on each of us, so I'd swat it off and then we'd both run away while he was clutching his finger, which then started to swell.

We made it back just fine (we were luckily about a mile out when he got stung) and he felt better, but we still opted to go into town to both explore and see what we could pick up for the sting.

Starting out on a nice wide road/trail

This was the "view" from the top of the peak

On our way up to the park, we passed through a little town called St Helena, which is really rather adorable. So we headed down there and went to a couple of little shops before they closed.

I've been talking about getting hiking shoes for a long time now. I wore tennis shoes for a long time to hike and now that I have no more tennis shoes, have been wearing my metcons out there (since I don't do CrossFit anymore after not being able to find one suitable for me nearby, maybe when we move this fall, I'll find one!). Those kinds of shoes are so slippery and we do a lot of hiking, so I've been interested in finding something that has a bit more grip and is rather lightweight/breathable.

Sure enough, the first shoes I looked at in the little outdoor sports store were PERFECT. They were lightweight, had great tread, had a boa dial rather than laces, were exactly my size, and the best part: they were 50% off (because the original price would have been *way* too much for me to spend on shoes).

We then went across the street to this cute pharmacy and chatted with the pharmacist about the bee sting, she had some good recommendations and we bought a couple of things that made SO's finger feel much better.

St Helena was rather liberal, lots of BLM signs
and these signs too!

RIP

That evening, we went out with the camera and tried to take some pictures of the night sky but kind of failed, it was our first attempt with the camera, so we need to read up a bit more on that. Still, it was fun to wander around at night.

We then went to sleep and got up the next morning to pack up and head out. We stopped in St Helena for breakfast and to wander around a bit, then leisurely made our way back home. We were home in the middle of the day, which was perfect because we were able to get everything unpacked and relax a bit from the drive before having to work on Monday.

It was such a nice trip! I'm so glad that I impulse reserved all these little cabins for the rest of the year. It gave us something to look forward to at the end of June/early July, and these days there's just not a ton to look forward to. We're already talking about coming back up next year and staying in one of the yurts (my only complaint about the cabin was no fire pit, booo, so the yurt is a good compromise on that front), which sell out more aggressively. But overall, such a fun trip!

Feeling Better Than He Looks

This week, so far at least, TC has been pretty good as I continue to obsess over every aspect of his life. He doesn't mind, but let's take a moment to realize how creepy that seems.

I'm sending back the two Neue Schule bits just because they didn't make such a big difference that they're worth keeping. I know I was about to buy the turtle top, but I think I'd rather wait for the bit fitting clinic that Anne talked about having. I put him back in the KK with the bit guards and loved how he felt yesterday, so that's what we're going to stick with for a while even though I hate bit guards.

Our ride on Tuesday was mostly this, with me staring at the
pivo begging it to notice that I'm on a horse

I snagged a Custom Icon Flight to try yesterday. The price was right, it was in good condition, owned by someone I knew, and it was the right tree and seat size combination.

The good news is that holy crap, TC loved it and I loved how it made me ride. I could stick with him no matter what, get my front line on super aggressively, and man, the influence I had was insane. His changes felt fabulous, he was more into the bridle than he's been in a while, and he just seemed happy in it.

Buuuuut it made my back hurt.

The saddle absolutely forces you into this singular position, which would be great! If the seat wasn't pitching you into a hollow backed position. Maybe if you're a round backed rider, it'd be a great saddle, but every time I let go of my core to relax, my back ached like no other. Walking around the ranch was awful, it used to be my comfort zone, if my back was hurting, I could just wander around at the walk and it'd always feel better. There's no way I could trail ride in this saddle, by the end of our ride, I was just itching to get off of him and even an hour after my ride, my back was still sore.

Obviously a no-go. I emailed Custom back and told them that I ruled out the Icon Flight and then told them that what I'd really like is for them to replace the flaps on my saddle. They ACTUALLY AGREED TO DO THAT for the first time. So now I'm thinking through that, more on that later.

Learning to ride with more of a flexion pattern while also being
less fit than I think I've ever been is rough you guys

But, we'll focus on the positive, TC was really good the last couple of days. I signed us up for our next two shows, same tests, the 3-1 and the 3-3 each day. I can't shake the feeling that he's just not ready to be doing Third level... like I know we went out and got a 70% already. It's such a silly thing, we're schooling all the movements well at home and we're even venturing into the pirouettes and half steps that will form the base of his FEI work.

On Monday, we focused a lot on the half passes to the left, he just lacks flow in that direction, but we're now at the point where the steepness isn't as big a deal as how "easy" it feels. So that's okay, it just takes time.

I think we might have overdone it on Monday because on Tuesday, all four ankles were a tiny bit stocked up so I freaked out. We did more walking on hard ground (since I've been fiddling with the Pixem each day for the most part, I realized I don't walk him on hard ground as often because I mostly ride in the arena, so Tuesday I took the day off from the Pixem and did a more normal ride) and took it easy work-wise, mostly working on throughness, straightness, and some basics like trot canter and canter trot transitions.

Because Tuesday I had the saddle, I picked him up and schooled some changes which were fabulous. He's still getting a bit hollow in them but they're definitely better than they were in my lesson. Whether that was the saddle holding me into him (vs mine where I feel like I pop out of alignment super easily) or just that they're improving, who knows.

That hind leg reach is what I'm here for

I'm really pleased where he's at in terms of my influence and how he feels undersaddle. I think adding the LMF Gold made a major difference in how energetic he's feeling, I feel like I have my horse back! A horse I can put my leg on and get a response. And he feels happier too, happy that he can respond well to my aids and not get harassed by me to be more on.
So despite not looking totally great, I am happy with how he's feeling. We'll see how the muscle supplement (arrives this week) and the vet (gotta schedule that) go so that hopefully the outside matches what he feels like soon!

Semi-Conductor

Last Thursday, I had another lesson! I’m really loving all these lessons, I feel like I’ve nearly figured out why things have been so iffy this year.

First, Tanya helped me out with the Pixem. I believe I have it working well enough to take a remote lesson *when* I figure out how to get audio to me while I’m on the horse. Bluetooth headphones decided not to work, so I need to figure out something else. In the mean time, my SO has agreed to be my ground crew for any technical difficulties and he'll let me use his phone for the audio. So thanks to him and to Tanya for helping me out!

Screenshots from my lesson! 

When we got started, I told Tanya that I’d changed three things since our last lesson: TC got his saddle reflocked, he got his bit changed, and I started him on LMF Gold. She liked these changes, saying that he was much more forward than he had been and approved the bit. So we’ll potentially be buying a NS turtle top soon.

I talked to her a bunch about the conductor theory, that I just hoist him along too much at home and that I’m trying to fix that. She barely had to tell me to get him in front of my leg, having to actually tell me to slow down and rebalance a few times! At one point she had me really half halt him in trot and he sat right down and gave me that fancy floaty trot, which she got really excited about.

We played in canter with the half passes and we still have a significant weakness in the left one. She prescribed us leg yields in canter (from outside leg to inside rein, not the “normal” kind that she had us do several years ago) and haunches-in down the long side. I’ve been doing haunches-in on a circle, but that’s not cutting it anymore.

This is where she wants him to be so that he puts on more
muscle, I'm not unhappy with how he's looking here even if that
damn friesian neck btv-ness will haunt me forever

We also started riding the half passes all the way across the long diagonal to make sure TC was at that level of commitment to the sideways so that approaching centerline, he wasn’t too excited about stopping. Then we held the counter canter and discovered that his changes are STILL hit or miss.

It’s gotten to the point where I just barely school them. I need to get over it, but they just don’t feel good sometimes and I’m paranoid about ruining them. Tanya had us do them and then pointed out that TC doesn’t stay on the bit during them. Yeah, I know that, but apparently this is now the reason why they are so hit or miss! I was being lax about it thinking that he needed to get a little hollow to make them work (typical in training) but really, he can’t jump through them as effectively. So once I kept him rounder, he was much much much better in them. I was really excited about that!

We finished with some trot work. The shoulder-in is pretty spectacular these days, so we focused more on the half passes. Again, he needed to have more activity in his right hind in the left half pass, so she had me really press him for that. He gave me a really really good one by the end and we let him end on that.

Collected and engaged, hallelujah! 

I was really excited about the lesson, mostly because it didn’t feel nearly as far off as what I’ve been doing at home. The more I insist on being the conductor, the better TC goes.

Tanya and I chatted about TC’s remaining issues and she wanted me to order him a new muscle builder. She said that he just doesn’t have the muscle tone that she’d expect of a horse at this level BUT that he’s half friesian and will take longer to put on muscle than normal horses. She said under no circumstances does she want me to back off or not ride him as much, that’s obviously not what is going to put on muscle.

I ordered the muscle supplement and will try it for a month. If I think it works, I’ll pull him off his normal one and just leave him on this one. If it doesn’t work, oh well! It was worth a shot. Also next on my list is to get the vet out to do his teeth, it’s a bit early but may as well. And I’ll have her draw blood and do a blood panel while she’s at it. I’m thinking he might be a little low in vitamin E or he might be slightly anemic if anything. May as well try it out. I’m thinking that we’re about to begin schooling the FEI level work and I have the time/money right now to figure out what he may need to help him out there.

Bit Changes

I'm definitely using this summer to revamp TC's program, clearly. I've added a new trainer to the mix, bought a robot camera to help me take more lessons (and give me anxiety, it's been a bit tough to work with lol), gotten him chiropracted, gotten his saddle fit, and now, let's talk about bitting.

KK ultra, I'm still struggling *so much* with the pixem, it's
infuriating, but when it works I love it!

So I started thinking TC wanted a new bit when he had a little weirdness on his lips on the left side right where his loose ring was, suggesting that he might be being pinched. So I grabbed the only eggbutt I could find at the ranch, a french link. He hated it. He kept turning it over in his mouth to put the flat part on his tongue and was really busy in his mouth in general. Honestly though, the turning was way more out of the ordinary than the business, as he's not the world's most quiet horse in the bridle.

I took him out of that and just put him back in his loose ring KK with bit guards, but I hate bit guards, so I thought about ordering an eggbutt KK and calling it good. Then I scoured Dressage Extensions and decided to try two Neue Schule bits, the only two eggbutts they had: the tranz-angle and the turtle top. 

Oh TC, your connection is so unbelievably tricky

I rode in the turtle top bit for my lesson on Friday and both Anne and I thought he seemed to like it. She said that she sees it as more of a professional's bit. She has seen horses transform fairly aggressively with that bit, to the point where they sometimes become unrideable for their amateur owners! I'd honestly kill for that right now.

TC definitely liked it a lot more than the KK in terms of keeping his mouth quiet as we stood around. It annoys me to no end to hear him chomping at the bit nonstop. When he's being ridden, he is mostly quiet, so that's been the only reason why I haven't gone off the deep end before.

But riding-wise, I can't decide if I like the bit or if I think it's roughly the same as the KK. Honestly, even if it's the same, I'd buy it just to keep him from chomping as much when we stand still. But sometimes it feels like he's better and sometimes it feels the same undersaddle.

This energy is how I feel about bitting and saddle shopping

On Monday, I tried the tranz-angled bit. That one he definitely didn't like as much as the KK or the turtle top. so that's unfortunate but it's good to immediately rule that one out.

I put him back in the turtle top on Tuesday and had a great ride on him, connection felt better than I had expected and he was rather quiet in the mouth. My plan is to ride in it today (Wednesday) in our throughness-focused ride in front of the mirrors to see what he looks like in person. Then if he feels good, I'll ride with him in it tomorrow with Tanya and chat about it. If she approves, I'll probably buy it.

No matter what, I need to buy another bit to get him in the eggbutt. I'd love to wait until I could do a bit fitting clinic and then buy one, but I just hate the loose ring so much that I'm willing to just buy the turtle top and we'll do the bit fitting clinic whenever it happens and I can just sell the turtle top if he doesn't pick that one.

Okay, what else can I spend money on with this horse? I clearly have it burning a hole in my pocket... just kidding, this is just what happens when I have too much time to think about my horse and an SO who says "I mean, does he need it? Will it help him? It seems like a good idea" for basically everything I talk to him about. 

Starting to Saddle Shop

Last week I began saddle shopping. I am preparing for this to be a six month long process, so with that, the first thing we did was fit my current saddle to TC to make sure that he's good in it until I find a new saddle.

She did a fabulous job, it felt way way more stable and he was much easier to get up under himself. He was clearly happy (and also he loves his LMF Gold) because he was borderline taking off with me. Just how I like it!

This trot is impossible to sit, let me tell you, but the right
saddle makes it way easier

Anyway back to my saddle search. I adore my saddle, it's a very very old Custom Versailles. I bought it in 2013 for not very much money and it has the most comfortable seat I've ever felt. When I sat in it in the store, I vowed to buy it even if it didn't fit Rico. It did! And I rode it through the FEI levels and got my Gold medal in it. Funny, just right now am I realizing that it's been TC's saddle longer than it was ever Rico's saddle.

The one thing I can't stand about the saddle though, is the blocks. And the more I realize I have to ride in a pretty aggressive flexion pattern to get TC in the right posture, the more I want bigger, more defined blocks to help me not get myself out of alignment while riding that way.

In addition, I'll be getting another horse in the next couple of years, so I'd love to keep my current saddle for that horse instead of having to switch back and forth. Obviously that's not pressing, but basically I know a new saddle is in my future, so I may as well figure out what I want now.

My wonderful saddle with me at our second PSG together

I am 99% certain that I want a Custom. I have had some really bad seat and back issues in other brands, and every Custom I've ridden in has been great for my seat and back. When I talked to the rep, I told her that I wanted something as close as possible to my Versailles. Like, if it were an option to take the seat and tree of my Versailles and put on the blocks of something else, I'd have already done it. I'd pay a couple grand to save this exact seat.

I have a client who has a Custom that I really like, so I asked to start there. Turns out, that's a Custom Wolfgang Omni and the rep had a 17" in the truck that she thought would fit TC. It fit him super well and when I got on it, I immediately loved the blocks. I trotted around and felt like I could get myself into a really good flexion pattern with my thigh against the block and didn't have to fight to keep my leg from coming over the block.

I rode Leo in a Custom! Also my borrowed
shadbelly was way too big lol

Unfortunately I HATED the seat. Turns out, the Versailles has a balance point a little further back than their updated Customs, especially the Omni. So I felt very much shoved onto my front triangle and I could already feel my back getting iffy by being pulled forward. I was told to lengthen my stirrup and just get used to the seat but like... why.

First of all, no, I ride short for a reason and that reason is that I like to have tone at the top of my rise because you're supposed to. Second, I really don't think I should have to adapt my feel to a saddle, especially because I have that "at home" feeling in my current saddle and if I'm going to buy a new saddle, it needs to be that AND more, not trading my love of the seat for my love of the block. So I gave the saddle back and ruled out the Omni as a seat that works for me.

I asked what would have a seat closest to the Versailles and she didn't know. I might contact the company itself to find out. She said that a Wolfgang Solo might work though, so that's on my list to try.

Love the block, HATE the seat for some reason

I also emailed another rep to see what she had in stock and when she'd be in my area again. I know saddle fitters are very knowledgeable and I super respect their opinions when it comes to fitting the horse and telling me things like I have a long femur or I need a certain seat size... but for better or for worse (and I'll let my trainers decide that), I ride the way I ride for a reason and I need a saddle that is going to let me ride that way. It's a lot of money to spend and I'm extremely paranoid about being told what I should buy, especially by someone who has a financial stake (this is why I hate commission for horse sales, mini rant: it's in the trainer's best interest if you buy the first horse they find you and if they over horse you because then they get the most amount of money for the least amount of work AND guarantee themselves a training horse for a long time).

So we'll see if that rep has something I could try. I honestly think I want to try literally all the Custom saddles in both a 17 and a 17.5 for me to feel comfortable make a decision. In the mean time, I'll be asking the company what saddle is closest to the Versailles. Too bad they don't make that anymore! It's honestly the one saddle I'd be happy to order brand new if I could swap out the blocks (I'm for sure looking used so I can get my money mostly back if it doesn't work).

Looking forward to the end of this awful journey! But at least I have something to use in the meantime that I love, so it's going to be okay.

Thought There'd be a Handbasket

Oh hey it's July already. Time is extra weird these days so I have to look at my calendar a bit more these days to keep track of what's happening.

When the pandemic started in our area in early March and I started writing these occasional update posts, I figured I'd write a couple and then it'd be done. Sweet summer child, right? Seems like they're here to stay so here's my update on how things are going with the pandemic.

Seriously

Opening Up

The SO and I decided not to take advantage of anything opening up until at least 2-3 weeks because we wanted to see if things got worse. In addition, for my own mental health, I wanted to wait until it was certain that things wouldn't lock down again. Nothing like telling my brain that things are normal-ish again only to have to go back on lockdown. Yes, I do treat my brain like a small child sometimes.

Sure enough, everyone ran out of their houses and licked each other, so things are tightening back up immediately. I can't believe how many people out there are flying on planes, not wearing their masks properly (if at all), and acting like there's not, you know, a global pandemic out there.

We've been to a few newish places though. We went to that cabin a few weeks ago and have one planned for this weekend. We went to a giant fruit stand somewhat close to us (and there were too many people there), we went hiking in the east bay (and there were too many people there), we went hiking in Saratoga (perfect amount of people there), and we've been feeling a little less stressed when going to more stores. We went to the camera store the other day and have been relaxing our strict grocery store schedule.

Just saying

More Antibody Tests

So, the SO got his antibody test a couple months ago and in my last update, I said that he had tested negative. We have both been healthy since like... October maybe? when we both had a cold. So we were just trying to find out whether we were potentially asymptomatic. The fact that he was negative could mean that we haven't ever had it OR that we were asymptomatic enough time ago where the antibodies were gone by then. Or the test was crap. All are options.

As you know, both my parents, my brother, and my sister-in-law had COVID in early to mid March (all but my brother were tested but it was very clear he had it). They are now asking those with antibodies to come donate plasma. My mom went in and they did an antibody test and the results indicate that she didn't have ANY. I think they're testing my dad as well, but they expect him not to have any either, but I suppose we'll see. It's one thing for the SO not to have any, neither of us ever tested positive for COVID, but my mom legit had COVID and now she has no antibodies. Except what if the test is bad? Ugh this is so hard.

It's okay though, given what the doctors know right now, if she (or my dad or siblings) were to get reinfected, she'd have a less intense version because there are other ways the body retains the ability to fight viruses. So I'm less anxious about them getting it again and more anxious about the state of the world given this information. It also makes me think that the SO and I HAVE been infected in the past and just had very mild symptoms or were asymptomatic.

Jesus, come on people

Staying Sane Amidst Anti-Masker Assholes

I've been okay this month sanity-wise. Most of the time when I'm not feeling my sanest, it's because I'm missing something silly like movie theaters, going in other peoples' houses, or driving further away than we're allowed to go.

That mostly spirals into me being very frustrated that this country is an absolute shit show in handling things. Seriously the president of the US is saying we should test less and just send children and teachers back into school willy nilly. I feel very safe in the bay area and in my little bubble going to the barn and to stores and even going hiking and staying in the cabin. I get worried occasionally, especially when we go somewhere newish where there are lots of people, but for the most part, I feel safe here at home and in my routine.

I'm very aware that until the rest of the state gets their shit together, we're going to be affected negatively despite doing a lot of things right. No movie theaters are going to open up in the state if hoards of people in LA are still going to the beach and breathing on each other. No amusement parks will open if all the morons in Kern County are spreading shit about how we'll all die of carbon dioxide poisoning by wearing masks for the 20 minutes they're inside a store (and yet, no surgeon has ever suffocated wearing a mask for hours on end??).

Literally if everyone would just wear a damn mask, and wear it properly, everything could open up again! They're seeing more and more that it's primarily spread through droplets. But everyone is so obsessive over their freedumb that they can't see past their own stupidity.

Right??

Immigration

The SO isn't from 'round here, which is great because he has the world's most adorable accent and says things like "dressing smart" and "rubbish" and "bonkers" and "Megan, I will not read the dictionary to you, that's weird" (he also has the world's driest sense of humor so I'm pretty sure at least one of the words he says in his cute British way is probably wrong) BUT it means that we're currently going through his immigration stuff. Luckily his company is dealing with a lot of it, but the lawyers royally freaked us out in early June and ever since, it's been a low key form of stress for both of us (mostly him).

So that's not been the most fun thing to go through for all of June and now into July. Theoretically he should have his paperwork submitted within the next couple of months and should be interviewed in a few months after that, then we just get his green card and we can travel internationally, which I'm very excited about! So that will be fun. But for now, especially with the president threatening to toss out people with visas (luckily his hasn't been targeted yet), it's been adding to the pandemic stress.

Ah, that's where we went wrong, the SO is too good for
this awful country, we're already talking about retiring in Canada

Lessons and Shows

The excitement this month was that I got to show. I have two more shows (potentially three) planned for August and more lessons. I feel so glad that riding never stopped during the pandemic, it's been really nice to go to the barn five days a week and hang out with TC. It's also been fun to continue to take lessons and improve my riding and the way TC is going.

Taking my own lessons has been good, I pay my trainers electronically now and so the only contact we have is them handing me the radio and me handing it back. I'm very excited to report that I finally have the Pixem in my hands and am going to work toward getting it geared up to work remote-lesson-wise. My goal is to get myself back into weekly lessons. Hauling to Anne has been really good, but sometimes blocking out an entire half day is a bit tough. And hauling to Tanya is not an option. So being able to ride with both of them regularly regardless of my schedule, will be amazing.

Also we can't use the phrase "avoid it like the plague" anymore

Teaching

I'm going back to teaching in person slowly. I have a couple of clients I teach at a barn that requires masks, so I've been doing that happily because I'm not an asshole. I'm also teaching clinics about twice a month. Most of my teaching still remains remote, which is great. I teach almost every morning before I ride my own horse, which gives me some really good structure in my day. My business has been more fun than stressful, which is an absolute necessity. I had a moment the other day where I nearly dropped a client because they were stressing me out, but it worked itself out okay.

Every summer I try to get new clients just because I know I'm going to lose a couple for various reasons (barn issues, moving, horse lameness, rider injury, swap trainers, scheduling problems), but this year I talked to the SO and we both decided that me throwing myself at my business the way I normally do isn't going to be good for my mental health. I'm happy to take on new clients if they come to me, but forcing myself to put myself out there and advertise when I'm not feeling it isn't something that's going to work with this pandemic.

It's sometimes really depressing to live here

Running Away to the Wilderness

The SO and I have decided to stay in these little cabins every month until it doesn't make sense. We went to Little Basin in June. In July, we're headed to Napa. In August, I'm horse showing a lot, but that's kind of the wilderness, right? In September, we're going back to Little Basin. Then in October, we're heading to Lassen NP.

It was INSANE how relaxing it was in June to just go on a vacation. Only when we were around other people (not often) did it feel like the pandemic was real (because we actually wear our masks, have you noticed how annoyed I am about this). I'm surprised how much the constant news (I get phone notifications) was affecting us until it was just GONE. We've agreed to put phones on airplane mode even if there is signal at future cabins. And each of our future cabin adventures is two nights rather than one, so that'll be just so unbelievably nice.

This entire pandemic

So yep, there's my COVID update. Hope everyone else is staying safe and wearing their masks properly.

How Many Instruments Does a Conductor Play?

On Friday I drove over the hill again for another lesson! I wanted to get two in a row because I'm really feeling like TC's postural changes are coming along really nicely with this work and I wanted more to do.

This whole week I've been realizing that the missing piece right now is my seat. When I get him to the place where I have both the power and the posture (that's not often), he feels so incredibly on my seat. It's got to be why I can hold both. So I've been doing a lot of transitions, ask him for the power until I feel him tip forward and then walk, or sometimes even halt and rein back to put him back in the right posture.

First tryout of the pixem had no zoom, woops 

After working my ass off all week on this, I came into my lesson with Anne asking her about this.

Anne had us begin on a 15 meter square. I've done some work on squares, mostly working on corners with TC or canter pirouettes with Rico. The purpose was to see whether I could use my seat alone to turn him, while keeping him upright, active, and to the bit. We did this in walk and in trot before going to the canter.

As you can expect, all sorts of things went wrong as we began to navigate this exercise. I could tell immediately that I wanted to just pull him around the turn with my inside rein or block him and move him around the turn with my outside rein. Sure, my seat and leg were there supporting my rein aids, but they were not the primary aids being used.

TC also lost energy in this work. I'd go to half halt him and he'd just shut down, leading to me having to hoist him through the turn. That was really eye opening just in general for TC's education. He doesn't maintain energy when he slows down and that's not helpful in the collection.

Tracking right, I figured it out pretty well. My right thigh has a lot of suction to it and I was able to draw him right while also activating him with both legs around the turn.

The SO and I are doing SCC's Pix in Parks challenge this summer
this was our first hike!

The canter work was TOUGH. We failed almost instantaneously. With so many things to do, I didn't have time to really get a good canter, which I obviously need to work on getting immediately from the transition, but couldn't. So then I was stuck manhandling him around the turns and in the collection. Not the right idea. Anne noted that the first canter step is always rather disorganized, so she had me canter just the turn. So he had to sit in the first step of canter. That was really rather fascinating. The canter I had coming out of the turn was way more balanced.

She also noted that his canter to walk transitions weren't great. Nope. They never have been. She said they were fine for Second level because they were clean and somewhat balanced, but he very clearly lowered his shoulders into the transition rather than sitting and landing like a 737 (hindquarters first). So we played with getting those a bit better. I could feel when I had the right canter to get a good transition, but I couldn't necessarily always get the right canter and to me it felt a little random when we had it vs when we didn't. More to work on.

It was nice to get out in the woods

Anne had some extra time so I took advantage of that and we went back into trot. This time on the square, we did halt transitions half way down each side of it. So everything came up really quickly, halt, turn, halt, turn, halt, turn, all within a couple strides. If he didn't come out of the halt in the right engagement, I'd have to pull him around the turn, which would put him on the forehand and I'd have to pull him into halt. If I had to pull him into halt, there's no way the upward transition would work because he wasn't in the right posture.

We both got flustered and I told Anne that I just didn't feel like I had him on my seat and she then told me that a conductor doesn't run around playing the instruments, they conduct. I was too busy running around organizing everything for TC to make sure he could do the exercise that I wasn't conducting well. I was playing the instruments. I got more on TC's case about moving off the leg, staying more in front of me in the turn, staying more up to the contact (and responsive) to the halt and suddenly he started to organize himself out of the halt. I could feel him shift his weight backward so he could respond well.

Our picture location

THAT is what Tanya does to us in her lessons. She puts me in a conductor's role. She makes TC organize herself. And when I'm at home, I can't replicate it because by default, I do too much for him. Not in the traditional sense, though. I'm not hoisting him through movements by nagging him or by holding him up as he's leaning on me. I barely feel like my aids are on him at all in that way. He's so light in the bridle and I ride him with my leg fully off. The running around happens in my seat, that's where he isn't organized, in the posture.

So I'm thinking a lot about this right now. Obviously we got to this point, he's an inherently disorganized creature. He's so low tone and so all over the place. I laugh and joke that he's the only Third level horse I've ridden who I can't steer.

But to fix it I need to notice what signs there are that he's not organizing himself: I start having to override with my aids to get basic things (asking for more collection, more throughness, turns, easy lateral work, etc). What do I do to get him more organized: set him up for failure if he isn't organized with quick movements, get on his case when he doesn't respond to simple cues, get him more powerful and energetic. What causes him to lose it: he sucks behind my leg (or was never really there to begin with).

I love taking pictures of bridges like this

I unpacked some of this with Anne and she said to do more than just shoot him off my leg in a medium to get him in front of my leg. She told me to ride movements within the medium, ride haunches-in, ride shoulder-in, ride half pass. This was really interesting to me, I've always just kind of shot him off my leg and then brought him back to work. But can I feel a medium half pass within a collected half pass? Not just, can I feel a medium within the collection. So I'm excited to work on that further.

Generally I'm really enjoying these lessons! Anne is very much dedicated to not only helping TC learn more but also helping me learn more and get more words to describe what is happening underneath me. That's been so helpful every time I go over there, to disconnect a bit from showing (although that is obviously still on our minds) and to just learn more about TC and more about my riding and more about the sport.

This coming week, Tanya is coming back to my barn, so I'll be riding with her, then I'm hoping to have the Pixem figured out (more on that later) so I can start taking remote lessons. I think I still want in person lessons with Tanya when she comes to my barn and with Anne at her barn, but it's going to give me a lot more freedom schedule-wise. As we go back to work and as I start teaching more, I can stick with my weekly lesson schedule!