Missing Precedented Times

Here's another virus update. Again, I'm trying to do these once or twice a month just so I can look back on this time and... I dunno, remember how shit it was? I'm honestly not sure.

From a bike ride with the SO this last weekend

Antibody Test

The big news for this update is that the SO took an antibody test and it was NEGATIVE. So that all about confirms that I would be negative too. We spend/spent a ton of time together. My thought that I was exposed back in February at the Mary clinic may still be true, but I guess I didn't get it? Or the antibody test was wrong, which is a real possibility this early on. There are all sorts of things coming out about how Vitamin D (which I get a ton of) and CBD (which I take twice a day) could deter the virus or whatever, but none of it is strongly backed up, so I will continue to assume that I could get the virus any day now.


Family Health

Everyone in my family remains healthy, even my four immediate family members (both parents, brother, SIL, including their daughter who was never sick but obviously was exposed) who already had and recovered from the disease. More and more information keeps coming out about whether or not you can get the virus again, so I remain a little anxious about their health, but I'm learning to let that go. The fear isn't as strong as it was when this all started because I keep telling myself that none of them had to be hospitalized the first go round so even if they got it again... I dunno how it all works, but I'm happy to believe that they'd be okay getting it again because that gives me peace of mind.

Any time Target gets a new HP shirt, I get a new
HP shirt, okay? I exclusively wear them and
joggers to sleep now

Virtual Games

The SO and I have been playing a surprising amount of Jackbox with friends over video call. It's super easy! You basically just share a screen and play through your phone. We set up an ipad to show our faces, then we also join with a computer running Steam and share that screen. Super easy and super fun. I think my favorite has been playing with my parents, who aren't super tech savvy. But we've played with some friends too and it's all been fun.


Trail Riding

I met Kate out on the trails a few weeks ago and that was a blast. We were basically the only two out on the trail we picked and got a solid two hours of time hanging out with each other, something we haven't gotten to do much, obviously. TC is such a star on the trails and so is Kate's new horse, plus, they seem to get along really well. I think it might just be that TC has little to no social skills, so interprets everything Duende does as hilarious and fun. I realized this about TC when I was teaching the SO about horse facial expressions (because he thinks that when TC looks at me with his ears forward, TC looks skeptical and I just think he's projecting, not everyone is skeptical of me!) and realized that I'd LEGIT never seen TC sneer. He either looks happy or bewildered.

From hiking, the trail is very wide!

Family Time

After they more than recovered, the SO and I have been heading out to the ranch a little bit to spend time with my parents and my siblings join us sometimes too. We stay outside, physically distance, and use a lot of disinfectant. It's been fun to see them and to hang out at the ranch with the animals. Being in a condo isn't nearly as fun as being at the ranch and it's so nice to have something to look forward to. We've been there twice (the first time was over three weeks ago so we're certain no one was infected then).


Opening Back Up 

The state began allowing retail services to open up again. The SO went to a bike store last weekend and said that they only allowed a few people in the store at a time, they sprayed your hands with disinfectant when you entered, required masks, and once inside, you couldn't browse (they just told you where the thing was and you could go get it).

I have mixed feelings about everything opening back up, as I think we all do. First, I think it's appalling that people are so dependent on their jobs that they'd rather risk infection than continue to not work, but I think that is an inherent problem with capitalism. Opening up should happen when epidemiologists deem the country ready, not when we're starving as a nation because a) wages are so low that people are incapable of saving an emergency fund OR b) the federal government refuses to support their people financially in a PANDEMIC because after all, a person's inherent value is dependent on the amount of money they have so eh. AND people seem to be shrugging off all the people who died because so many people have survived, maybe we should shrug off any deaths caused by things that people have recovered from, that's sad your loved one died in a car crash but I know tons of people who survive car crashes every day so let's all ignore the traffic laws intended to protect us from dying in car crashes. Don't let fear ruin your life.

BUT at the same time, I'm kind of cool with rumors of things opening back up leading people to kiiiind of (not ignore) push the limits of SIP. I think if we open things up truly in stages, we'll see a lot more death and destruction, vs people pushing the limits here and there, going out a tiny bit more, seeing a few more people. I dunno, maybe that's just my mind making excuses for me pushing the limits a tiny bit more. All I know is that FINALLY Santa Clara County is doing free COVID tests for anyone who wants it and our hospitals/ERs have plenty of room in them.

First evidence I saw in person of opening back
up: the Starbucks in our local Target was open

Hiking

Our parks have opened back up, so I've been hiking once a week. I go with one of my good friends and we hike for a few hours out on the wide trails. It's allowed by our county as long as we physically distance, so we are both okay with it, even if it feels a little questionable at times. But then I remind myself that we are not driving out of state for haircuts or manicures... nor are we hitting the beaches or gathering in big groups. This has honestly been one of the best things for my mental (and physical) health. It feels like a weekly reset for myself mentally, just go do a physical thing while laughing with a friend.


Clinics

I've run a few virtual clinics and am teaching a bit remotely, but in May I did go up to one of my clinic barns and taught in person too. I don't touch the riders, have disinfectant wipes for the radio, and everyone stayed away from me. It was a blast to see my clinic riders again and it was so nice to do something different. I missed staying overnight with Peony and ordering ramen with lots of corn and watching movies (also not driving up and back in the same day, although I live closer now), but it was still fun to be up there. And it's been more than two weeks since then and no one got sick. Can't wait for the next one!

Another from the bike ride

Shows

I have mixed feelings about shows. There are two in June that I could do, they're very close by, but I'm still deciding. I'm leaning toward going, only because they're so close and it's easy to just haul in and out and not touch anything. I did turn down the offer to judge a barn show recently though, mostly because I don't want to prematurely automate my judging but it also occurred to me that I'd be interacting with a ton of people that day so nah. When I'm showing myself, I'm just there for an hour and a half and gone. Judges are there all day. So apparently the line for me is relatively thin, who knew.


Conspiracy Theorists

I'm surprised at how many people think research means looking things up on Youtube. I'll just leave it at that. Pleased to say that it's just a few people on Facebook and a couple on IG and let's just say that this behavior from them doesn't surprise me.


Barn Time

The barn is slowly returning to normal-ish. My trainer has been down twice, the chirovet came out last week, there was a saddle fitter around at some point. It's feeling more and more normal, which has been nice, although occasionally I start wondering. With this, I've been bringing the SO out a bit. We've spent so much time together during the pandemic, it's been great for us, so we chatted about wanting to be a little more involved in each others' lives. He rides bikes, so I told him I'd ride with him more often, and he said he'd come to the barn with me more often. He loves photography so he's been bringing his camera out and getting some amazing shots of TC and I just hanging out (I told him I didn't have ANY of me and Rico just hanging out, something that makes me a bit sad now that he's retired), I'm so happy.

Love these pictures

Generally it's been okay over here. I have my jobs (I'm teaching remotely and clinicing a bit), although my research job is getting zero COLA (cost of living adjustment) and our salary study was rejected, so basically no additional money this year and probably for the next several years because the state cut funding. But I'd take that over losing my job, obviously.

My physical health is okay, probably gained some weight but I don't believe in scales so I don't know, nor do I care. I probably need to workout more but I'm letting myself relax a bit. It's okay to not always be at the top of your game, I think this pandemic is teaching me that.

My mental health has been better, of course, but I can still count on one hand the number of truly horrible days I've had since this thing started. I've been REALLY consistent taking my CBD, which is probably why I've survived so far, honestly most days I feel pretty good. Only the occasional OH MY GOD CAN IT JUST STOP NOW PLEASE moment plagues me each day, but at least we're all in this together, right?

TBT: Five Years Ago

These pictures popped up in my Facebook as being from FIVE YEARS AGO! That ride is actually documented in this post. Here are some of my favorite pictures and quotes from that time.

Such a dork

The only major mishap happened when two horses came out of the covered arena, walked behind some trailers, and then over to a flapping tarp on some hay. Apparently flapping tarps are only terrifying when other horses calmly stand near them, because TC, who had been ignoring the tarp up until that point, did one of those moves where his shoulders are suddenly NOT under my body and instead several feet to the left. I wasn't paying attention so I actually came close to being unseated! Woops.

Hah he literally dropped his shoulder to the left the other day! It's his go to obnoxious move other than bolting. He now gives no fucks about what other horses are doing in or around the arena.

He was so gangly

We actually got to do some cantering for the first time out there since he bolted with me. He was as relaxed as he could have been given the circumstances, and I got to see both pictures and video that showed me that the quality of the canter is remaining good. He just needs to learn how to use his body a bit better in the canter itself. That's going to take a while because he still won't steer very well so my arms get a bit rigid in trying to keep him from accidentally falling several hundred feet laterally. Once as he's a little easier to steer, I'll be able to direct all of my attention to getting him to stretch down and use his neck more.

Ah yes, he bolted really bad with me out there, it was the first ever bolt I'd felt on him and it was mildly terrifying. He was just scared of some kids on dirt bikes jumping in and out of a dry creek bed, I really don't think he was out of line.

The canter obviously remains tricky, although Tanya told me I've done a fabulous job with it. I think it took me until he was schooling Second level to feel like I could reliably steer him. Now that he's schooling Third, I don't feel as afraid of him jumping out of the court, but I mean... it's still a realistic option. His canter is tough!

I will never tire of this facial expression

I gotta look back on the past more! We've come so far and yet trends continue, like the way he spooks and how difficult his canter is to ride.

Seeing the ChiroVet

My memorial day holiday began at 6:30am when I left so that I could be at the barn ready to go by 7:30 for my ChiroVet. She's my former vet who does chiro and acupuncture full time now and she's fabulous, I just adore her. It's only a 42 minute drive, so I did my normal "if you leave the house before 7, you get Starbucks" routine (which used to start "if you leave the house before 6" but we're in weird times) and was there in time to brush him off before she got there.

TC loves her and turns into an absolute asshole when she's around. I think he can't handle how much he likes bodywork so he wants me to be in on it too, but I reject his assumption that I would enjoy being bitten and poked at by his nose. So TC's bodywork sessions are always filled with me pleading him to just focus on his own shit and to leave me alone. Pretty sure the chirovet thinks I'm a terrible trainer. I sound like the mom of a terrible child "he's just over stimulated, he is normally so good at home" while I grin and drop him off at daycare to get some alone time away from him.

Ranch views

The results were excellent, IMO.

She checked his teeth and his saddle fit and said neither were the problem here. She said to get his saddle reflocked because it can't hurt at all, but she said it wasn't a bad enough fit to be causing him any pain or to be causing the muscle wasting.

She backed up what Tanya said - he's just not built to do what he's doing right now. She mentioned that I might be hitting his physical limit and I got SO SAD, but then realized that... it's actually okay.

He's already schooling enough of the basics of the Grand Prix to suggest that it's a possibility for him. The changes are coming on beautifully and clean with nothing suggesting he couldn't do ones, the piaffe is pretty solid in hand and strength will make it strong undersaddle, the passage is an obvious possibility for him, and the pirouette canter is nearly on the spot, we just need to turn, and a full pirouette is only six strides. A lot of what needs to happen for the Grand Prix is just time and confidence. We've gotten through most of the hard parts, now it's the details.

This tiny bird let me get very close to it

So I asked her what to do. She said to do what Tanya said - keep riding, keep focusing on building muscle in these harder areas for him, make sure his nutrition is dialed in, and stop overthinking everything. She said she's seen friesians with more muscle than he has, so it is obviously possible, but they just simply take longer to develop. He had from September 2018 through July 2019 "off" where I just exercised him essentially. Then I had to rebuild him for the last half of 2019 and first half of 2020. I had a trainer change during that time and you know, a global pandemic is going on.

She found what she expected given his conformation, he's very tight in his shoulder and low neck, making it even harder for him to lift through that area. Had one rib out (which he was VERY excited for her to put back in place, as he yawned a ton and whipped around to stare at her while she did it), a little out in the sacrum and lumbar area, but nothing too extreme. So the problem is his low neck and his shoulder. She didn't think he had any adhesions or anything there, just that his breeding made him rather tight in that area.

She gave me some stretchy-type exercises for him to do before I get on him, designed to loosen up his shoulder. Then she said that if I noticed a huge difference, to have her out in a month. I did see a huge difference, so she's definitely coming back. Depending on showing and what's going on in June, I might bring her out every two weeks for three more sessions, she said that's what it took to get rid of severe adhesions, and while she doesn't think he has them, I figure it can't hurt to treat him like he does. This could 100% be the issue we're facing.

More ranch views

I felt way better about the whole ordeal after seeing both her and Tanya. I just have an off breed (he is half warmblood, but his neck is all friesian!), a horse who is going to find this work way harder than a horse who is built differently. And that's okay. He's not going to look the part for a long time. He's going to take a while, like Tracey said when I bought him, he's going to take a long time.

So, the plan is to ride him with this in mind. Continue to work hard and make especially sure that he's using the correct muscles, not just feeling good, because he's getting so rideable that he feels good no matter what. I've been using clicker training the last few rides which has made a huge difference! And then have her back out a few times just in case he's got some adhesions in his front end that is making it tough for him to lift through his withers.

And I'm definitely buying something purpose bred next time! I love this horse beyond all reason but he's a tough one for me. I just need to trust my trainer and myself a bit more I guess. And worship the ground that ChiroVet walks on.

Hopefully It's Me, Part 2

This lesson went over so much that I had to break the post into two parts. Here is the second part! We moved into canter after addressing the walk and the trot.

Smile, TC!

Quality of Canter

Tanya really wants TC to canter a certain way and after seeing the videos, I also want him to canter this way for the rest of his life. She emphasized the shortness in his body and how quickly he responded to my go and whoa aids. She wants me doing a ton of work in school canter, especially going from medium to school canter. He's got an okay medium to collected canter transition in that it happens! Which is saying a lot for a horse who once thought that the moment we were in medium canter, I didn't want a slower canter. But she wants it like, aggressively accurate. Just a couple of strides.

With that work, he gave me this absolutely magical collected canter and I got another lecture about how throwing my reins away is not going to get his back up. Until I have his back up and him sitting down, I have to keep the contact, THEN I can soften my hand forward and let him reach to contact while his mass is back. This is a place that TC loves to get, I can feel him getting really excited when we reach that canter. At one point Tanya said "bump him up again" and I just yelled NO I'M SCARED because the canter is SO powerful and he feels like he's just about to launch me at all times. He isn't, he's just so ON. It's something I need to get comfortable riding. Note taken, Tanya.

Then I left him alone

Canter Half Pass

Once we had the quality of canter we needed, Tanya had us school the haunches-in at the canter and then the half pass. As per usual, because I hadn't practiced too much, TC's right canter half pass was an 8 and his left one wasn't so great. I feel like to the right, I can just sit a certain way and he flies laterally. To the left, he gets really confused still.

We didn't spend too much time drilling it, she just told me to make sure I do my homework this time around. The one major highlight of this section of the lesson though was that she had me straighten after my right half pass and canter straight down centerline. Both her and my barn friend who was watching were shocked. Tanya said it was the straightest centerline at canter that she'd ever seen. We kind of laughed at how far TC had come in his canter, because it was a legit nightmare for so long. That's what happens when you put a canter rider on a trot horse I guess! Now for me to stop fucking up the trot.


Flying Changes

I first have to say this, at the end of my lesson, Tanya gave me a brief lecture about trusting myself and my training and to stop stressing so much about his progress. She said that what I've done with this horse is impressive, not least because I've managed to get quality changes on a friesian cross. I thought that was funny, I have heard they are difficult to get clean changes on!

The changes on the diagonal are super quality. She noted that he was no longer kicking at my leg and I said yes, I've worked my ass off to make sure that was gone. She liked the right left better than the left right, saying that he stays way better through in the former and gets flat and fast in the latter. I think I still just don't trust the left right change.

After doing a few on the short diagonals, Tanya gave me an exercise that I haven't ridden before on a horse this green to the changes, a four loop serpentine with changes over centerline. Four loops on THAT horse in a dressage court is VERY tight. I had to be super organized and the changes naturally disorganize him who naturally disorganizes me. It was such a challenge, but we did get through it without any issues.

I loved it because I'm super eager to get tempis on this horse. That and the passage are the two movements that I really miss riding on Rico. I loved just skipping across the arena on him for funzies, doing them on circles/figures. But TC disorganizes quickly after the change, so it's impossible to ride real tempis on him just yet because I don't have a reliable canter after a change. Rather than potentially ruining the tempis by stressing us both out doing them (we've done them once and they were fine, but it'd be nice to not do them until they're going to be good), we can have the same challenge to our organization with this movement that will never be shown.

This was apparently two years ago today!

Overall

It was such a fabulous lesson and gave me a lot to think about. Like I said, I do want to still address his program to make sure that there's nothing in his way, but I do need to stop comparing him to Rico at Grand Prix. Rico is a purpose bred warmblood who in retirement still has a fabulous topline. TC is not purpose bred and both his parents are very low tone horses. Ideal had some muscle on him, but stallions have testosterone. I don't think his dam has muscle as much as she is just made of jello and cuteness. In addition, TC at Third level, even when I think he's looking like crap condition-wise, STILL looks better than Rico at Third level. So maybe I need to take a chill pill.

But still, to do right by my horse I want to listen to my gut, the chirovet came out yesterday to check him.  I also have my FeedXL subscription this month, so I'll be evaluating his diet and making some changes according to that. And then in early July at least, the saddle fitter will be here, I'm going to try to get someone out before then though. Covering all my bases but it's nice to know that Tanya thinks I'm nuts here.

Speaking of Tanya, watching the videos made me realize how much she and TC just get each other. I have a pixem on order but it'll be a while before it's here because they're out of stock right now. So over the weekend, boyfriend and I began working out how I could start remote lessons earlier. More on that later, but I think we've got it nearly figured out.

Hopefully It's Me, Part 1

I was debating whether to go to my lesson on Friday because of how TC was going. But I ended up doing it anyway so that I could get non-crazy eyes on the situation.

Tanya is a very no-bullshit person and listened to me, looked at his condition, and told me not to throw too much money at him because she essentially said Megan, he's a third level horse, not a Grand Prix horse, and he's an off breed, not a warmblood. Initially I was a bit concerned, but I made the decision earlier this year to commit to one trainer and she's it and all her horses look fabulous and score well and her riders ride beautifully. So I sucked it up and gave TC a pet and told him that this would be the one ride before the chirovet came out that he'd have to work his ass off.

Making sure the camera is getting his good side

And sure enough, TC and Tanya worked together through me and by the end, TC felt absolutely fabulous. It was as if TC was like "yeah she's being really ineffective and I'm trying to tell her to get her shit together but she's just a mess right now" and Tanya came in like "I can see that, let me see what I can do to get her going a little better for you" because a quarter of the way through the lesson, TC stood up straight, came way up through his back, and was having an absolute blast carting me around the arena while trying to pounce on bird shadows. Meanwhile I'm like "but do you think he's lame" and she and TC probably laughed together about that.

Before I go further, I will tell you all that I'm keeping my chirovet appointment and my regular vet appointment, I'm also definitely still revamping his nutrition (Tanya told me about a specific muscle builder - body builder? Haven't looked it up yet) and for SURE I need to figure out the saddle. Tanya told me that my thigh was too long for my saddle and it isn't doing me any favors. So I'm still listening to my gut, but the results of this lesson showed me that at least 50% of what is going on is me. That's awesome. I honestly hope I'm 100% of the problem, that's the cheapest solution.

Looking like a fancy pony

We covered a lot of ground, but here were the highlights:

Walk Work

Wow, turns out that not putting my leg on in the walk is NOT a solution to TC's jigging when I put my leg on. She thinks it's two issues: one is that he just simply isn't in front of my leg in general, two is that he will not step laterally off my leg. Basically his response to any leg in walk is just to jig, prompting me to take my leg off. By the end of two walk sessions, I had him more connected in walk than I'd ever felt!

Quality of Trot

This led to Tanya telling me to legitimately get a bucking strap to hold myself in the saddle if I needed to, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES was I to slow the trot down or make it ANY easier for me to ride. Great. But let me tell you, this horse can fucking trot.

So, the trot work has been tough recently for us, it's where I see the most issues. What it feels like to me is that he's plenty forward and pumping him up through his back means that he just runs on the forehand, leading to him dropping his wither and curling in the contact. Tanya had me not put him as low in the poll, she said that was causing the wither drop (vs I was hoping he'd stretch into contact and then I could pick him up). Instead, she wanted him to step into the contact, however ugly it looked, and then we'd pump him way up from there. Contact first, then what I initially thought was energy but then realized was impulsion. He has the energy, but it's not directed anywhere, so he drops the wither. 

Such cute photos the SO took on Saturday

Tanya compared his topline to a long skinny water bottle, she said that if I kick him forward in a level balance, the front of the water bottle will fill with water and then drop down. If I first pick him up into an uphill balance, the water stays in the back of the bottle, weighting the hind end, and then I can add power without losing him onto the forehand. It worked. Really well. So well that on Saturday, I was very sore.

Trot Lateral Work

He needs to be way more supple laterally, like I mentioned before. His lateral work is high quality, with Tanya saying "well that's an 8 for sure" to his shoulder-in and half pass. The half pass right is absolutely perfect but the half pass left gets a bit underpowered at times and he falls through his left shoulder, so he loses the angle. To fix that, she had me open my outside rein to help show him that there was room for him to stay up and out to the outside rein and reminded me that half pass involves a lot of inside leg. My solution in the past had been to basically over bend him to the left and she reminded me to keep his ears focused on where I was aiming the half pass.

The shoulder-in was picture perfect after a couple of schoolings. Around this time in the lesson, I decided that I needed to only go to shows that Tanya was going to, because I genuinely think that she can add 10 percentage points to my score. When I schooled the tests by myself, I felt like they were solidly in the 60-65% range. With her magic, it's definitely over 70%.

Love this horse!

I wrote this whole post out with all the canter work too and it's shockingly long, so tomorrow I'll talk about the canter work and what I took from the lesson overall!

Long Lining for Gathering Information

One of the first things I thought when I noticed TC wasn't 110% was that this was a saddle fit issue. His saddle was last fit in March 2019 and since then, a lot of shit has gone down. When he lost a ton of muscle/fitness due to being at the barn he hated and me being sick in May 2019, I just let it go, figuring I'd get it fit to him when he came back into shape. Then this last summer and fall, I kept an eye on it and it seemed fine. He never complained and he was moving well.

Even now, looking at the saddle on his back, it's hard to determine if it's pinching him. If it is, it's not at all obvious. He is not girthy and never has been (in fact, he wants me to tighten his girth all the time, the weirdo). He is "back sore" for him, meaning you can normally dig into his long back muscles with all but a knife and he never flinches. Now, he flinches a bit when I really dig into it. But honestly, I'd expect all horses to flinch with that amount of pressure. 

Looking normal

I decided that I wanted to long line him and see whether he went better on the long lines and if he did, could I clicker train him coming up through his back, then use the long lining and clicker training to get him moving the way I want him to while we wait for the new saddle. As an aside, it was a frustrating moment for me when I realized that several saddle fitters/reps were coming out to my barn last week and I a) didn't know about it so couldn't make an appointment and b) my Custom rep still thinks she's not allowed. But it is what it is and I'm on the list for the next time anyone comes around.

The other thing I was thinking with the weirdness is that he just isn't strong enough in his core and hindquarters to support himself in his new way of going (more collected). I have my eye on getting him an equiband system because I figure he'd be a prime candidate for it. But it's not cheap, so I figured I'd begin with polo wraps and see whether he tolerated those and if so, whether they worked.

This is where I'd like to hang for a bit, not perfect but definitely
using the muscles I want him to use

Honestly, the long lining was hit or miss. At times, he was going way better! At other times, he was kind of going the same as when I was riding him. Right now, when riding, he's always going poorly, so it WAS good to see that he was capable of coming up through his wither the way he used to.

As an aside, I only have pictures going left because he wigged out in the big arena shortly after starting the canter work. He really likes having the walls of the round pen I guess, he was much better when we moved in there. It's a bummer because I really want to be out in the big ring to give him more room!

Once in the round pen, I could tell he was worse to the right, he really wants to not connect to the left rein. I did a ton of work at the walk insisting that his left hind step across and holding my left long line to make sure he couldn't escape the connection there. That was tough for him but he did seem to get a little better through his back. He got copious amounts of clicks and grain.

Meh, you can see the overdevelopment in his neck here

So I'm going to say that long lining with the bands was a success. BUT long lining didn't make him better the next day undersaddle. I have a few thoughts on that, one is that he might have made those muscles sore while long lining so then he was less inclined to use them undersaddle. Maybe the saddle really is pinching him. Maybe my added weight made lifting through those suddenly weak muscles much harder.

My next thoughts are to see if I can replicate the lift through his back on the longe line with the chambon (he is fine being longed out in the big arena, just not long lined) and add some cavalletti too. If that helps him lift his withers, I might ride through some cavalletti undersaddle and see if that would be a good way to help him out.

In the mean time, what I've done so far is:
- call the vet, she's coming next Friday for a blood test, teeth check, adequan prescription, and hind flexions (if he's positive, I'll have my lameness vet do a full workup, going to get video of the flexions to show him just in case)
- call the chirovet, she's getting back to me about dates
- sent a message to my massage therapist friend to see if she's either coming into the area soon or would be willing to do a video consultation
- harassed my saddle rep
- texted another saddle fitter to see if we can just get my current saddle fitting well
- paid for a premium version of FeedXL to revamp his nutritional plan
- made a timeline and am prepared to discuss this with my trainer on Friday

In addition, the SO now knows a LOT about horse's muscle development and all the many things that can go wrong with it. He's been such a good supporter throughout (and I've been brutally honest about the money side of it too, this might be expensive), he's the best.

Covering My Bases

Something is weird about TC right now, he's just not going like he used to. He's never been the easiest to get up and through his back, but now it's like it's impossible for him to get his withers up. The trot is definitely way way worse than the canter, but in both he just doesn't have that giant friesian neck look that he's always had.

The SO came out to the barn and got some amazing pictures
of TC and I just hanging out (then I cried at him about TC not
feeling his best, he's a good SO)

I looked back through the videos I've taken and it seems to ebb and flow.

In January, he was quite deflated until I saw Tanya in February and she pumped him up and got him going super well. Then February through April he seemed fine, aside from I think a week or so in April where I noticed that he wasn't lifting as much on the right side. All through May he's looked like crap.

The frustrating part is that he feels fine. He feels through his back, he feels... not UP in his wither, but certainly not plodding on the forehand like he looks. He feels happy to do his work and has remained responsive to my aids. He still whinnies at me when I come to get him and paws incessantly if I take too long to get on him. No girthiness or major soreness. I can make him flinch if I dig my fingers into his back. Not lame and he's in good weight.

TC three years ago had more topline than TC now, something
is up with that... 

I'm brainstorming and figuring out ideas as to why it's happening. Here's what I have so far, I'm beginning to implement the solutions as we speak.

Problem:
His workload is getting to him and he's mentally a little blah

Solution:
More stretching-only days; more long lining days with the clicker to reinforce him; more clicker training undersaddle to reinforce; more trail riding/off property adventures; maybe a vacation where we just hack around bareback for a week


Problem:He's not built for this work and isn't strong enough to hold himself in that way with the increased collection I'm asking for

Solution: 
Equiband system or equivalent to help him engage his core and hindquarters; slow down his work and do more groundwork to help him gain strength; redo his nutritional plan to make sure he's getting enough protein

He's always had that overdevelopment near his 3rd vertebrae
but this is way more up through his back than I'm getting these days

Problem:
His saddle doesn't fit and is pressing down on his back in a way that makes him want to drop it

Solution:Contacted Custom Saddlery for them to come out to both adjust my saddle however it needs to be adjusted and put in a request for a new-to-me saddle. Saddle shopping, woohoo, but I am excited to get us both something that works for us.


Problem:
He's body sore or something is wrong physically

Solution:Massage therapy, acupuncture, and potentially bute for a week and see how he feels

Honestly can I go back in time and figure this out, there's a lot
to improve here (in that I'm spurring him all the time because
he was so lazy) but he's up in his withers

Problem:I'm riding him poorly

Solution:Tanya is coming on Friday and I'll be asking her about it, also planning on chatting with some of my other friends/trainers about it


Problem:He's got some kind of muscle wasting/muscle issue

Solution:He's on a muscle builder already, but I also put him back on vitamin E. Planning on pulling blood if I can't get him feeling good in the next few weeks.


Problem:
His hocks are hurting him

Solution:He's already on a good joint supplement. Starting him on adequan ASAP and if nothing else helps, going to have him flexed and potentially injected.

He was so dark!

So I'm at a loss and feeling like a shit horse owner, as all of us do when our horses aren't feeling 110%. I'm sure that there's a solution and my goal right now is to just change as much as I can (I'm a shit experimenter and I'm okay with that) and see if I can get him moving better. I'll be chatting with Tanya about it and seeing what she thinks.

Unfortunately he's not going in a way that makes me want to show him, so I'll be holding off on that even if shows open up in June. I can't bring him to a show if he's not at his best, he comes first, after all.

Test Riding 3-1 and 3-3

Sunday we finally got a break in the heat and I could finally ride outside again! So I obviously forgot the micro SD for my soloshot... All these days I've brought it down ready to go and had to ride inside because of the heat, of course this time I have no SD card!

I decided to test ride because the dressage court footing was pretty decent. It's been weirdly deep some days so I've been riding in the covered or one of the other outdoors. So when I saw it was ready to go, I immediately wanted to test ride.

With shows potentially beginning again in June, and with studies showing that we'll likely get a second wave in fall and therefore possibly get shut down again, I've been debating what to do. Do I show in June and July and quickly snag my scores for All Breeds at Second? Or maybe Third? Do I just get one score at Third on his record to make sure it gets put there and then plan to go out in fall if there are shows? Or do I just wait until me feeling ready and shows being available happen at the same time?

These weeny pictures brought to you by
the fact that my soloshot wasn't charged
enough to track

I decided to try the 3-1 and 3-3 tests because those are the ones I'll need for All Breeds and see how good I could get them before my next lesson. Then see what Tanya thinks. Then decide about what to do in June. I feel confident the 3-1 is showable right now, it's such a basic test, but I didn't know about 3-3 where everything requires much more accuracy and collection. There's tons of down time in the 3-1 and not too many movements, it's hard to get it wrong if you've got all the movements on. But the 3-3 leaves less room, and I'm on a large horse. 

The 3-1 went beautifully at first. The trot work is beyond easy for us, it flows well and I can focus on the quality of the gaits rather than holding things together. I noted that I needed to do more reining back and endless walk work to get him to stop wanting to jig, but those were just little things. Walk pirouettes solid, medium canter solid, right canter circle solid, change from right to left solid.  

Extended canter went well but I could feel him getting more and more amped. It was honestly nice, he's been the sort I've had to hoist through tests and I was appreciating having him on but not acting up. I thought "is this going to be a clean test??" because we have them so rarely. Then he bolted out of the canter circle to the left, and bolted through the change, I came back around and we did the same thing but sub the bolting for bucking. Eventually I got a good pattern and we ended well, but man that'll teach me to think good thoughts! Still, solid test! Just need to do it a bit more and keep managing those extended paces so they don't reduce rideability like that.

His half pass is looking like a half
pass right now though!

I went into the 3-3 skeptical but determined. I just wanted to see how the trot work rode because the half passes were steeper and everyone fucks up the two half circles in trot. I definitely need to ride those more but the trot work was so fabulous! Again, it just flows so easily for him.

I went to start the canter work and he stalled out but picked it up. The canter work went shockingly well! The half passes aren't too steep for him, the changes happen easily, and I rode the extension at the end conservatively but the whole test was clean!!! 

It's not feeling too rideable though. The canter is tough, he's the most rideable when he's amped up but then he's more likely to lose it mentally. It's an issue we have only in tests because I can feel him getting to that point in work and just change what we're doing and he calms down. Sounds like I need to push him for longer and get that comfort zone moved out a bit more.

Also pleased I'm not doing weird
shit in it like I used to

Still though, I'm so pleased!! He's such a cool horse, I never would have guessed the third level work would be so easy for him. His canter will forever need developing and I think it'll take me some time to be able to ride him on edge like I need to in order to keep him rideable... Add into that being in a new place and in front of a judge and all. But all the pieces are there! 

So we'll see what happens this summer with shows. Tanya is coming back at the end of May so I might get her eyes on the 3-1 and then sign up for a show in June to just do that test once or twice. Then if he scores well and handles his shit, I can dump him into a bunch of shows and get my All Breeds scores, if not, then I'll fix what needs to be fixed and we'll stick with 3-1 until he's ready for 3-3. That test is no joke! But we have one clean test under our belt and that's pretty exciting. Just keep swimming. 

Clicker Training Undersaddle

On my webinar series, I did one on how I've used clicker training to work with TC. I figured I'd both link the video here and break down my speech (which I definitely mostly read from, what, I'm not being graded or anything) into sections if you prefer to read it. It's going to be long to read and lots of this information is stuff you guys already know about TC, so feel free to just skip ahead or listen to me ramble on and on. 

As an aside, if you ever wonder what it's like to take a lesson from me, this is it. I talk incessantly, don't give my riders a single moment to understand what I've said, and I do laugh at my own jokes. Sorry, not sorry. 

Link here if the below video doesn't work. 

TC's Background

Every rider has that one horse, the one that makes you question everything you thought you knew about riding horses. My current horse, TC, is that horse for me. He’s been an absolute blast to develop and he’s in a great place currently, but he was a very tricky young horse.

I began riding him in late 2014 after earning my Gold medal on my retired Grand Prix horse, Rico. I needed something fun to ride and TC was bred by a family friend who I reached out to in search of something fun to ride for free while I finished up graduate school. I had client horses to ride, but I enjoy having my own horse very much, so TC would be a surrogate until I found a horse to buy after I entered the workforce. 

Baby TC was a blast and I loved his personality and his work ethic. Sooo I bought him in the fall of 2015. And he promptly climbed up on his panel fence at his new barn, fell off of it, and ripped his suspensory out of the origin site. He went to a rehab facility until he was trotting for a good amount of time and then came back into my life. 

Rehabilitating a young, powerful horse is tough. TC had to stay in a small paddock so he wouldn’t run around, he couldn’t be turned out, and he had to stick with a small amount of work each day as he continued to heal. This led to a lot of undesirable behavior, the most undesirable of which was bolting. 

Baby TC had shown a desire to bolt, but his gangly body didn’t let him do anything really aggressive. Five year old TC was a different animal, add into it that he was cooped up and unable to let off any steam. There was no longeing him down or turning him out before riding. And winter was rapidly approaching too. 

I began clicker training him on the recommendation from a good friend who also uses clicker training in her program. I found that clicker training was incredibly helpful to get the bolting to stop. I also used it to reduce his spooking. As we went into winter, I realized that I had no way of exercising him effectively without riding him, he’s never taken to side reins very well, so I clicker trained him to reach for contact on the long lines. I moved on to teaching him to engage his hindquarters and lift his back while long lining. 

I’m using clicker training currently to continue to improve the connection, to put the piaffe on, and to reinstall the medium walk because all he wants to do is piaffe now. 

Baby TC being skeptical about sprinklers

The basis is conditioning and there are two types of conditioning, both of which are utilized in clicker training.

Classical Conditioning

Pavlovian conditioning, or classical conditioning, involves the pairing of a primary reinforcer with a secondary reinforcer. Pavlov actually was studying dog’s salivary glands. He fell into classical conditioning when he noticed that his dogs started to salivate not when they were given food, but prior to then when they knew they were given food. He called this psychic secretion and wanted to know why it happened. And that’s where the bell came in to the operation. Essentially he would ring the bell and then feed the dogs, them eventually associating the bell with the food, and would salivate to the bell. 

Now, dogs aren’t born thinking that bells sound delicious, but with enough pairing of the bell, a secondary reinforcer, to the food, a primary reinforcer, the dog then responds to the bell as they would respond to food, by salivating. 

To relate this back to clicker training, take the bell and replace it with a clicker, take the dogs and replace it with your horse, and take the food and replace it with a treat or some grain. Eventually the clicker means the same thing to the horse that the treat does. And the clicker is a much easier reinforcer for the rider to use to pinpoint the exact moment the horse does something correctly rather than trying to quickly run over and shove cookies in the horse’s mouth. 

Not spooky at this lol

Operant Conditioning

The other kind of conditioning is operant conditioning, which we all use every day with our horses. Operant conditioning was fleshed out by B.F. Skinner. Essentially operant conditioning is when a behavior is shaped by what follows it, but it’s more complicated than that. It’s a four part process, but I’m going to start with three parts because it’s easier to understand this way. 

The first part is the antecedent, but for our sport, let’s just change that to aid. The aid is a stimulus that indicates that you want the horse to perform a behavior, which is the second part. The behavior itself. Following the behavior, as we all know from growing up, we have consequences. Consequences can either reinforce a behavior or punish it. Reinforcing a behavior causes the behavior to occur more frequently and/or with greater strength. Punishing a behavior causes the behavior to occur less frequently and/or with a weaker strength. 

There are four types of consequences: positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, positive punishment, and negative punishment. They can get confusing because the words positive and negative don’t refer to good and bad, they refer to whether you added or removed a stimulus. Reinforcement is anything you do that increases the frequency and/or strength of a behavior and punishment is anything you do that decreases the frequency and/or strength of a behavior. 

So positive reinforcement is the addition of an appetitive stimulus after a behavior has been performed that increases the frequency or strength of the behavior. Think of a horse finally nailing a clean flying change and getting a walk break and scratches on the wither. The addition of an appetitive stimulus, the scratches and break, after a behavior, the clean flying change, that you want to encourage to occur again. 

Negative reinforcement sounds bad or weird, but we see it everywhere as well. This is the removal (negative) of an aversive stimulus after a behavior has been performed that increases the frequency or strength of the behavior. Think of a rider who puts their spurs in their horse’s side, then when the horse moves forward (desirable behavior), the rider takes the spurs away from the horse’s side, the removal of an aversive stimulus that increases the likelihood that the horse will move forward. 

Positive punishment is another weird one, but it’s what you think of when you think of punishment. The addition (positive) of an aversive stimulus to decrease the likelihood of a behavior. For example, when TC crowds my space, I tap him with a whip on his chest. This is the addition of an aversive stimulus that will hopefully reduce his desire to crowd me. I can tell you that hasn’t worked all that well. 

Negative punishment is one we dont typically use with horses unless we’re eight years old and through tears tell our pony that just bucked us off that he is NOT getting any carrots later. It is the removal of an appetitive stimulus after a behavior that discourages the behavior. We use it rather infrequently with horses only because it’s tough to set it up where it actually discourages a specific behavior. TC isn’t going to think that I’m not giving him a cookie before I leave the barn because I was unhappy with something he did earlier in the day, horses just don’t think that way. 

Conditioning for Clicker Training

Now that we’re through conditioning, hopefully you can see how clicker training combines the two types of conditioning. We use classical conditioning to make the clicker an appetitive stimulus that you can then use as a consequence of a behavior in operant conditioning to make the behavior more likely to occur. 

To clicker train an animal, we first have to acknowledge what primary reinforcers are effective reinforcers. To classify a primary reinforcer, think of what can reinforce an animal without any conditioning history, or learning history. For example, I do my job in exchange for money, a reinforcer. But I had to be taught to value money, because children raised in a society without money will not see any inherent value in having it. Children raised in a society without food will… well they’ll die. That got dark. But children are born wanting food and water and shelter. So are horses, they aren’t born wanting praise or clicks, but they are born wanting this list, among other things. One thing to note on this list is the wither scratches. There have been studies that show that scratching a horse’s wither lowers their heart rate and therefore relaxes them, and that is also a primary reinforcer. I’ve used wither scratches as a reinforcer for horses I ride who I don’t use the clicker on, it’s a great reinforcer. 

Lots of exposure for this weirdo

Bridge Training

Our first task involves classical conditioning and it’s called bridge training. We are essentially creating a bridge between the clicker and the primary reinforcer we are using. I chose to use TC’s grain because I wanted to not worry about how many cookies he was eating in a day and I also don’t use clicker training every day, so didn’t want to have his diet changed so randomly. I can adjust the amount of grain he gets after his ride based on how much clicker training we did during the ride. 

One of the worries people have about clicker training is that it will cause the horse to mug you for food or to start biting, but the bridge training I used with TC helps eliminate that response while also bridging the clicker to the primary reinforcement of grain. 

I started with TC in his paddock and he saw that I had grain and was very interested in me. I didn’t let him come after the grain, just waited for him to get bored and realize I wasn’t going to give it to him. He was fairly rude, so it took some time. Eventually he heard a horse whinny and looked away. And that’s when I clicked and gave him a small handful of grain. He was suddenly really interested in me again, mugging me for more grain and getting in my space. I remained patient and he got bored again, looked away and then I clicked and gave him grain again. We did about five minutes a day for a few days and soon he had figured out that he only gets grain when he looks away, so he would see me coming with the clicker and my bag of grain and would not mug me, but rather look away because he knew that was how he got the grain. 

By teaching it this way, I’ve taught him to not be mouthy or mug me for grain but rather to give me space and wait for the click. [at this point I showed this video of Shawna using this bridging technique]

At this point I was finished with the classical conditioning part of the training, TC knew that a click meant grain and was happy to work for clicks because he knew grain would follow. 

Remember when he used to rear
himself calm at the trailer?

Eliminating TC's Bolting Behavior

Now, a lot of people start target training at this point, but I had a very specific goal in mind, so I didn’t go that route. I’ll eventually target train TC for fun, but I moved straight from the bridge training to addressing TC’s bolting behavior. 

I started to then begin to solidify the whoa aid to address TC’s undesirable bolting behavior. If you remember from Kate’s talk a few weeks ago, she went over Andrew McLean’s work on behavioral issues. He has an entire chapter on bolting and his main point was that bolting, at its root, is caused by the breakdown of the whoa aid leading to the horse no longer being under stimulus control, which is a fancy way of saying that I couldn’t stop him. Basically, the reinforcement he got from bolting, such as getting away from perceived danger, was way more effective than the reinforcement he got from not bolting, which at the time was just to not annoy me. 

So my goal was to increase the reinforcement history of the whoa aid so that it could override the reinforcement history that he had from bolting. Bolting is very self reinforcing, if the horse bolts and doesn’t get killed by the thing they were afraid of, no matter whether the thing actually posed a threat, the horse feels reinforced by the lack of death and that strengthens the bolting response. But TC likes food, sometimes more than he likes avoiding dangerous situations, so I began to reinforce the whoa aid. 

I worked with him on the ground first, using my aid, saying whoa and taking back on his halter, to produce a behavior, a halt, that I then reinforced with a click and some grain. When he stopped, he was not allowed to immediately climb in my lap for the grain, the whoa needed to be appropriate. At first, he didn’t get it easily, but after doing it every day for a while, he started to slam to a halt more aggressively, even offering it when I even touched his rope or when I said the word “no” because the whoa meant grain so he may as well do it as much as he could. 

From there, I schooled it on the longe line, getting it to the point where if I just shifted my weight a little or touched the line a little, he’d stop. Then I took it undersaddle, which I’ll talk about later. 

Tarp de-spooking unnecessary

Reducing TC's Spooking Behavior

TC’s bolting behavior was getting way better with the clicker training. I noticed two things about the bolting. First, I noticed that when he bolted, it was far less aggressive and easier for me to stop. He didn’t go nearly as fast and didn’t go nearly as far before I could stop him. Second, I noticed that the frequency went down, he didn’t bolt as often as he used to. For a long time, it seemed that he bolted out of the blue, without any warning. At this point it started to only happen if something scared him rather than just randomly. 

His spooking was a secondary issue, but when I noticed that his spookiness was what was keeping the bolting alive and well, I began clicker training for curiosity and relaxation. 

TC’s spooking has always been interesting to me. I took him to two bombproofing clinics and he loved them, wasn’t spooky at all. You can thwap him with plastic bags and pool noodles, ask him to walk across mattresses and water, he’s fine with all of that. He was even fine with the cats running across the front of him, dogs barking and running at him, strollers and bicycles passing him on the trail, and the resident chicken taking a dust bath in the arena. If there’s a clear reason for what is going on, he’s fine with it. But if the wind picks something up and it flys around, or if something has changes at the barn, or if a wheelbarrow is sitting by itself vs being handled by a barn worker, he is terrified of it. 

Because TC’s spooking was not just a startle and would always lead to him putting more space between him and the thing he was afraid of, which was naturally reinforcing to him because getting away from a scary object meant that the object would not attack him, I began to address it by trying to override that reinforcement history with clicker training. Now, he could choose between two reinforcers: the reinforcement that he got from running away from the object vs the reinforcement that I was going to provide to him for taking a step closer to the object. 

I started out by leading him around my barn waiting for him to become weary about something. I found a tarp that he didn’t like and made him stand still near it. Then I coaxed him forward and he took one step, so I clicked and gave him a treat. We worked on it until he was standing on the tarp and then we moved on. I did this technique for a while, until every time he saw something that made him nervous, he would approach it rather than run away from it. 

Once I got him to drag me toward things that previously scared him, I noticed that he still would stand stock still with his heart beating really hard, so I began to click for relaxation. It wasn’t good enough to stand near the object, he had to relax. It took a while at first, but soon he took a deep breath and I clicked for that. I noticed a huge decrease in his spooking once I started only clicking for both approaching the spooky object AND relaxing near it. He can still be spooky, he still hates wind, but he’s way easier to console now and definitely the spooking has both decreased in frequency and strength. He’ll startle or if it’s really bad, scoot, but gone are the moments where he’d get truly out of control. 

Happy to hang out in this tunnel

Improving the Connection on the Long Lines

I mentioned using it for long lining, and here’s the progression for that. TC has a very friesian neck, his tendency is to go the way he’s going in this first picture, with his neck retracted and his hind legs stepping short. He didn’t like long lining at first because he can be rather claustrophobic, so I had to clicker train him to reach to contact. I would aid him to bend a little more but most of this beginning work was a waiting game. He soon blew his nose, leading him to reach down a bit, so I clicked that. Then I got a lot of voluntary nose blowing, I clicked at first but soon waited until he stopped blowing but kept a bit of stretch to click. Slowly I shaped the behavior until he reached down all the time. 

I loved this because it meant that I could work him effectively in hand without having to ride him, very helpful when he would act up in the winter or when I was in a rush or when he stamped on my foot and I couldn’t ride him. I started clicking for all sorts of things, coming through with the whip meant he would flex his lumbosacral joint and step further under for a few steps and I clicked for that. I continued our work with the whoa aid there, all kinds of things. Just shaping his behavior on the long lines so I could continue developing him when I couldn’t ride him or just didn’t want to. 

Clicker Training Undersaddle

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve used it extensively undersaddle as well with TC. I started doing it with the bolting, reinforcing the whoa aid from my seat, rein, and voice. I then moved on to the spooking undersaddle, encouraging him to walk up to things. Then even did some work on reaching for contact, reinforcing any weight he put in the reins. 

Clicker training undersaddle can be tough to coordinate as a rider. I will often grab small cookies instead of a bag of grain because it’s just easier to carry around, as the grain sometimes finds its way out of the bag. Holding the clicker is tricky too, as is coordinating the click. But once the coordination is there, it’s incredibly useful. What it does for TC is provide him with a discriminative stimulus, something I wanted to throw in here at some point. 

A discriminative stimulus is an indicator to an individual that a reinforcer is available. Think of it this way, you’re walking down the street and you’re hungry, you see a restaurant, that restaurant is reinforcing to you because it means you’re about to get food, it’s the bell the dogs salivated to. But then you see that the restaurant is closed and it becomes far less reinforcing, you’re still hungry but food is not available to you. But if you see the sign is flipped to open, the restaurant immediately becomes reinforcing. The open sign is a signal to you that the reinforcer, food, is available. 

Think of a horse who acts up in the show ring because he’s figured out that his rider doesn’t have as much ability to correct him. The show ring becomes a discriminative stimulus for bad behavior, the horse can quote get away with bad behavior in there. 

What I noticed when I would grab the clicker and ride with it is that TC would be more likely to offer me things that he’s been reinforced for with clicks. Me holding onto the clicker became a discriminative stimulus. So even though I hadn’t done much work undersaddle with the clicker, he saw that I had it and knew that clicks were available, so he worked harder for them. I didn’t have to click very often undersaddle to keep him working hard for clicks. 

We’re nearing the end so I wanted to share two videos of things I’m doing with clicker training right now. Here is a video of me teaching TC to piaffe with the clicker. 

Hilarious, definitely doing more bombproofing
clinics in the future with future horses and with
TC just for funzies

Changing my Philosophy

Lastly, I wanted to talk about how this has changed my training philosophy. I’ve ridden with trainers in the past who emphasized that when a horse is doing something bad, they are meaning to be bad. There’s a lot of language used that just isn’t correct: my horse is an asshole, he knows what I want but he just doesn’t want to do it, he’s not actually afraid of that thing he just wants to get out of working. 

Clicker training for me put everything in a different perspective. TC didn’t bolt to be an asshole, TC bolted because bolting had a stronger reinforcement history than not bolting. TC didn’t spook because he was trying to get out of work, TC spooked because spooking had a stronger reinforcement history than working. TC didn’t refuse to stretch to contact because he didn’t feel like doing it, he refused to stretch to contact because there was no reinforcement history for it. 

With clicker training, TC has become an incredibly easy horse to train for me, he’s only been doing the piaffe for two months and it’s already a higher quality than my Grand Prix horse’s. He’s not got the conformation to reach to contact easily but he does it becuase he’s been reinforced for doing it. 

And I notice a difference in him too. He is very playful undersaddle, excited to work every day. He knows that I’m going to be fair to him, that if he gets an answer wrong, my first thought will never be that he is being deliberately bad. 

The End! 

I've been meaning to write this post for a long time and I know this is a bit different than my normal posts because I literally just posted my webinar in words. But it was so fun! Make sure you check out the Facebook page to find out when the other webinars are happening and look at the playlist of all the ones we've done so far on youtube.