The Plan

My barn hasn't shut down... yet. The county sheriff stopped by on Saturday and chatted with my barn owners, he said that boarders were allowed to ride as long as the barn was following certain guidelines, we are and have been for a while. In this county, they're only requiring lesson programs to shut down, which makes sense given how most of the barns are laid out in this area.

So obviously, I am still riding. I know that's a bit controversial, but I think every situation is different, horse keeping out here is fairly unique.

I want to go to there

My barn is very open (there's not one singular main barn), TC lives out in a private paddock, and I have a private tack room. No one else has access to any of my things. The only thing I touch that other people touch is TC's paddock gate (he destroyed his blanket so I took that to mean that he didn't want to wear one anymore this year, he's shed out so he's fine) and everyone is wearing gloves and masks at the barn (boarders included) and I sanitize everything when I get there and when I leave.

The bay area is flattening the curve with the SIP we're doing now, including keeping barns open. My barn owners are doing a really good job with new regulations (they recently assigned one of their workers the task of sanitizing everything all day, there's bleach everywhere, hand sanitizer everywhere, and strict instructions about how to interact with the facility) and are encouraging owners to come out but to be safe. I put TC on a limited work schedule (2 days on, 1 day off) to keep him in enough work to keep him sane but limiting how much I have to go down there. We all wear gloves and masks, and we keep more than 6 feet distance when there are other people around. The facility is so big and open that I frequently don't seen another person outside the workers.

One thing my barn did ask though, is for owners to provide documentation for what should be done if the owner gets sick or can't come out to the barn. So I thought about it and responded to my barn, plus printed it out and put it in my trunk, tack room, and trailer.

As I said earlier, TC is in a precarious place in his training, so no one else will be riding him, even if I can't come out. It'll be really a bummer not to keep him in work, because he is sounder, happier, and saner when in work. But it's okay.

Hoping I have nothing standing in my way of
this view indefinitely

As much as I'd love them to groom him thoroughly, take him on walks every day, and turn him out every day, that isn't necessary for his health and would be a burden on the barn workers. I've asked them to please take him out of his paddock a couple of times a week (either on a walk or in a turnout) and pick his feet when they do it.

Grain isn't absolutely necessary, so I'm going to have them grain him until my grain runs out. I've set up 30 days worth of bags and after those are used, they're under instructions to reduce his grain load (because if we get to that point, he won't be in work). When the grain runs out, they are to monitor his weight and add an additional flake of alfalfa at night if he starts to lose too much weight.

I've asked them to please bill me for these services. I still have my job and am teaching some remote lessons. I also want to make sure that they stay afloat, of course.

I also gave them all the information about what I'm willing to do vet-wise to keep TC going (basically I'm willing to throw money at him all day long for colic surgery/etc) and left a set of my truck keys in my tack room for them to use.

Many county parks have closed their parking lots, this one
hasn't just yet... hoping to get out there at some point

For now, I feel lucky that it is still open, lucky that the bay area is flattening the curve without having to shut it down, lucky that the boyfriend understands why I still go out there, and lucky that my barn is so fabulous that my worry if it closes will not be about TC's care but more about my mental health.

Home Sweet Home

Yesterday I moved TC back to the barn that he was at when we moved to the Sacramento area last year! I think both he and I took a big deep breath when he unloaded from the trailer, we were home.

It was a long day, I worked in the early morning, had breakfast with Kate, then met with the BM to figure out, then had to go get fencing materials and put up a fence to keep him from climbing, then had a phone meeting that I frantically worked through to get a project off the ground, then picked TC, my trunk, and his hay up and then finally pulled into the barn. After I rode and got him settled, I still had to get his grain together, bag up hay, park my trailer, etc before getting home at 9:30pm and then getting up at 6 this morning to teach, ride, and commute to work. Summers are always crazy.

We're both so happy

Anyway, he DID move and get settled and we're both so happy!

First on my list was riding him in front of the mirrors. I'm so excited to have them, they made such a difference even in that first ride.

I noticed several things:
1) I really do carry my hands too low, they feel so high and yet, they are still very low
2) We cannot canter in a straight line down the longside anymore, but when we do, his canter feels amazing
3) He looks way more active than he feels in the trot
4) His canter feels way smaller than it actually is

Back in the cross ties and he immediately started
chewing on the chains, which I hate

We got a ton of work done. My back was sore because of putting up the damn fence so I did a bit of sitting trot but mostly focused on the canter.

The trot work felt great, he's still not 100% steady in the new level of throughness that I'm wanting him to have, but the mirrors made it super easy to see when that was lacking so I think he spent more time being at that level of throughness in our ride yesterday than he normally does.

I rode some shoulder-in and focused mostly on getting him to step into the right rein in both directions. It's so unbelievably obvious when he peels off those aids with the mirrors. He'll get hollow tracking right and stiffen tracking left, which I can feel to an extent, but the feeling + the visual from the mirror really drove it home.

Also wonderful cats that give hugs so then I get to work late

The canter felt SO GOOD. I am shocked that he's actually giving me such great moments of throughness at the canter, even tracking left. In fact, left is now better than right.

We worked on cantering straight at the mirrors, riding a slight shoulder-fore to work to engage the inside hind leg. He broke a few times tracking right but other than that, he tried really hard and even started setting himself up for changes that I wasn't asking for.

After that, we got down to business with the collection in the canter. It's really tough for him to collect his canter without either pushing back or getting stuck in the earth. I want energy and stretch over his topline while on a shorter step. So we did some work on that and he felt so freaking good when we got it. It's still a work in progress and we're taking it slow, but this is the beginning of the canter pirouette work, so it's important to get it right.

Happy pony

At the end, we did a little half step work. He's figuring it out! He mostly just gets short in his body and pushed back (like in canter) so it's all about teaching him to stay stretched over his topline and active with his hind legs without letting him get his step longer. Again, this is the beginning of piaffe so it's really important to get right.

He ended so well and we then wandered around the ranch. I love wandering around this ranch, there are so many random pathways that we can take where we can walk for 40+ minutes and not have to take the same pathway in the same direction (also my horse walks slow).

I'm SO happy to be back at this barn, it doesn't yet feel real. I am going to test ride 2-1 this week in the court, hopefully grab some soloshot footage (at home! yay!), and also spend some quality time with the mirrors. I'm also going to move my trailer over to the barn and keep it there (hopefully indefinitely) so that will be nice too.

Moving Day

Moving day (for TC) is upon us! Today I'm going to drive to the barn for the final time, collect the rest of my stuff into the trailer, including the pony, and drive 2.5 hours north to his new digs. But as I'm preparing for all of this, I'm really feeling sad about leaving my current barn.

I love this barn so much. It's been the absolute best place to keep TC the last couple of years as he recovered from his suspensory injury. I can always trust that he is taken care of. I never worry about him if I have to leave for a few days. The footing is exemplary and incredibly well maintained. The trail course is super fun, and there's a lot of space for wandering around the ranch. I love all the arenas we have access to, including the covered arena with mirrors and a dressage court set up almost all the time. While I didn't have tons of friends there, I did make some really good friends who I looked forward to chatting with on the weekends.

The barn has seen so much of my riding career. It was where I took nearly all of my lessons with Tracey on Rico. TC came for his first Tracey lesson when he was 3 years old there. He came for bootcamp before he went lame, and he came in July 2016 after being at rehabilitation. The barn has seen me go from a barely 4th level rider to a Gold Medalist. It has seen me go from being afraid of my young horse to winning All Breeds last year.

If I ever end up back at this place, I'll consider myself and my horse very lucky.

Goodbye dressage court 

The plan is to move TC today, then I'll stay a couple nights in my new apartment (on site!) to get TC settled, then head down to teach my final bay area lessons (lies, I'll be back soon enough, but the final ones for now), and pack all my stuff up before driving back up on Saturday morning to move myself and my kitty!

I'm really excited but it's all bittersweet. Here's to new beginnings.

Exceeding Expectations

I'm happy to report that the baby horse stepped of the trailer yesterday at his new home and I was SO glad to see him.  

Making friends! 

Hi pony!

TC was scheduled to come in around 8 so I was planning on leaving the house at 7. I get a text at 6:30 moving the time to 7:30 so I quickly zipped over to the barn, only to get a call as I was turning onto the road the barn was on saying that they were there, damn! Apparently to get to the barn by 7:15, their day started at 3:30. I'm glad that's not my job. They had five other horses going to the vet hospital about 1-2 hours south of the barn and their appointment was at 9 or 9:30. So we got an early start and I was glad for that.

TC unloaded super well and then spooked hard. The owner of the rehab center led him into his stall for me. He really didn't do much other than spook a few times and passage next to us when two horses went nuts in their paddocks right next to him. I thought that was pretty good!

Oooo a friend

So glad to have this face home

Once as the trailer left, I hung out with TC in his stall. He seemed super stoked about having a paddock, though didn't think much of his water trough. He lapped the water like a dog (wtf) and kept dragging his lips over the wire. His neighbor on one side (the other side is empty) is another young baby horse also there for brain installation so they reached over to touch noses. I like these stalls because the horses can reach out to touch noses but can't play very easily over the railing.

TC seemed SUPER happy to be there, but not all that interested in me at first. Oh well. I gave him some cookies and made sure he got food for breakfast.

After making sure he'd be okay, I ran some errands. I had thought I sent him with a pan for his food, but they didn't give me one and I also thought that he still had a salt lick, so both were picked up at the tack store up the road. I also got myself some breakfast since I had run out of the house that morning.

Weird

No more pawing his food!

Back at the barn, it was nice and warm. I hadn't wanted to try anything with him until the fog burned off, setting ourselves up for success, you know.  My goal for the day was to keep absolutely no pressure on either of us. If we sat in the stall all day, we sat in the stall all day.

So we started in the stall with some work on the ground. He was super good and seemed so happy to have something to do. The horse loves to be told what he should do.

I grabbed my groundwork weapon stick, his sports medicine boots, and the rope halter and cautiously led him over to the cross ties. He was fine. He snorted at a trash can so we looked at that for a second, but it was generally uneventful.

Finally got the fly mask on

We spent a while in the cross ties, which he hasn't been in since December. I was answering the phone a lot, talking to recruiters, clients, and my mom, who wanted to know what was going on. TC would very carefully paw whenever I wasn't paying attention to him. When I was paying attention to him, he looked at me the way Tormund looked at Brienne. I felt like his pet, or maybe his own personal entertainer. He was so excited to have me doing anything with him, even pulling the shit out of his mane.

I mostly used the solo comb (and wore out the blade), but did thin it a bit with the pulling comb. He was fine but I didn't want to push it. I got it short enough but over the week and weekend I'll be trying to thin it out a bit more. It's so poofy!

He was super good about a few things that he used to be terrible about. First, he doesn't yank his feet out of your hands anymore. Woohoo! Second, he seems a LOT less attached to other horses. I think 7.5 months in a box stall where he had no direct contact with other horses did that. He only whinnied at another horse twice and didn't care about horses coming near him and then walking away. Third, he doesn't paw nearly as much as he used to. He still does, but it's not the crazy pounding it once was. Apparently he also doesn't paw in the trailer anymore since he had to be on it all day whenever he had a vet check. Progress!!

Before

After!

After getting his mane under control, we went on a walk. My goal was just to go as far as we could without being stupid, then turn around and come back to the cross ties. If that's all we did, great.

We wandered out toward the round pen first since he had been ridden in there a lot the last time he was at the barn and he had already been led by it on the way in from the trailer. He was fine. He wanted to walk on top of me and did spook hard at nothing once, but other than that it was no problem. Once as we did some ground work though, both of those behaviors stopped. He was fine walking out to the round pen, so we did some work in there. Just turns on the forehand and reining back. He is SO good at his ground work and so in tune with me. I just love it.

After being in there for about five minutes, we wandered back to the cross ties and then out to the covered arena. I really want that to be a safe place for him and it was completely open so we headed in. We did more ground work and looked at the mirrors. He was totally fine. I had a moment where a car passed us and I wondered if he was going to lose it. Not sure why he would, but still. I just put him to work and it was fine. I gotta trust him a bit more!

He's so cute!

Cones are fun!

We went back to the cross ties and he stood with one foot rested, just watching everything. He was so good in hand that I decided to keep going! I went out to the tack locker and got his saddle and bridle. I also grabbed longeing and riding stuff just in case. No pressure, but I wanted to be prepared.

The saddle surprisingly fits him quite well! I'm not sure if we'll even need to have the fitter do much to it. I played around with the balance, I'd rather it toss me in the back seat than the front. The bridle obviously still fits, and I got to put his bridle tag on it! He accepted the bit easily and I kicked myself for forgetting sugar. He got a cookie instead. No need to worry about him.

He stood there fine while I was messing with him. I banged the stirrups around on him and fixed the pad. With him being so good, I put side reins on the saddle, grabbed a longe line and my helmet/back brace and off we went to the round pen!

Tack fits!

Once again I just wanted to see what he did. If we just walked in a circle, great! If we actually longed, even better! Side note here: I was super proud of myself for putting zero pressure on us, that's very unlike me.

We started by leading around the outside of the round pen doing ground work because someone was riding inside. When they left, we did some ground work inside the round pen too. Longeing went well, I had him walk for a while, working on the whoa aid since I want him to think that we do a lot of stopping and turning in on the longe line just in case.

He was totally fine so I asked him to trot. And he exploded. But only a little. He mostly really wanted to put his head on the ground and shake it. Then he'd just porpoise. I sort of made a bad decision at that point. If he hadn't been on rehab I would have smacked him forward, but I halted him. Then we tried again. He got better and better with each transition and was eventually fine trotting each way. But looking back I probably should have just pushed him forward, he was just excited.

I put his outside side rein on and he was even better! The inside one came on shortly after and we did a lot more trotting in each direction. Only once did we have head shaking and bronc bucking but I sent him forward that time and it was much better. I'm so worried both on him and off that if I send him forward, things will get worse, but with the side reins giving him a place to go, it got so much better.

A little lazy but so fancy

If he was any more over his back he'd be a fucking beach ball

Just a bit of sass

After trotting I just really really wanted to sit on him. But I knew better. Hah. No I didn't. So I put my stirrups up (forgetting that Emma was the last one to sit in the saddle and we had to raise them a couple holes woops) and brought him over to the mounting block.

He stood fine as I banged the stirrups around again, leaned over him, and shifted the saddle around a bit. I just wanted to make sure that none of that was going to result in a problem before I jumped on him. Nothing phased him. I got on. That was fine. He stood for me to take a behind the ears picture. And then off we were in walk.

My first thoughts were these:

OMG I AM RIDING MY PONY
Hmmm no one is here to scrape me off the ground
Is he going to kill me?
I guess not
Damn he's lazy
I should have worn spurs
I want my whip
Ugh he's over bending
Ugh I'm nagging with my leg
Damn these stirrups are short, need to fix them
Okay that's better
Probably shouldn't have dropped the reins when fixing them
Ugh he is SO LAZY 

The fact that those were my first thoughts shows you how good he was! He was super behind my leg, a bit short in the neck, and kept popping his shoulder, but there were absolutely no incidents. None. Even though a horse across the property (we could see them) was rearing in hand and the horses in turnout next to us were moving around. We did some figure-8s and I nagged him the whole time, trying to remember to sit in the back seat. Whatever. I can fix all that later.

I got annoyed that he was so lazy that I asked him to trot. He immediately threw his head down, shook it, and did one bronc buck before I stopped him. I asked again and he just shook his head and then trotted the world's smallest trot. I smacked him with the end of the reins (who the fuck am I?) and we got a half circle of trotting in before I decided not to push it anymore.

YESSSS

But the day was perfect. He walked quietly back to the cross ties, stood quietly while I sat on the mounting block posting on instagram, and stayed relaxed while I untacked him. He even went into the wash rack and got a little hose down. No pawing, no obnoxious behavior, barely a spook in him. Just quiet, relaxing, super fun baby horse!

I couldn't have asked for a better first day. Fingers crossed today goes well, it's our first lesson with BRH trainer and I'm hoping for me to get him more forward without bucks and maybe for him to pop on to walk the pony around the ranch a bit.

But we're in no hurry. So happy to have him back!!

A Date and a List

Yesterday I touched base with the people at the rehab center and we made a date for TC's last ultrasound and a date for when TC comes home (pending ultrasound). So on June 28th, TC will get his last ultrasound and on July 6th, TC will (hopefully) come home!

I can't wait to ride this fucking horse I just can't STAND IT

This works out really well, even if it was a week later than I had hoped. I figure the later the better, even if I'm eager to get him home. He's safe where he is, and having him come after the Fourth makes my weekend a lot less stressful (my brother having a big house party = enough stress already, no need to add the pony to that) and lets me use the first few days of the month to move stuff into the barn and get settled before there's an obnoxious pony in the way.

I have a LOT to do before he moves in though, so I have a list:

Boarding
I need to email the barn owner about his boarding situation. The barn is sort of an a la carte barn, so I think I'm going to sign up for one load of shavings a week (one big wheelbarrowful, it's not a ton but it's enough for him) and double feed to start (so four flakes vs the two that they feed) with half grass and half alfalfa, to be moved to 3 grass and 1 alfalfa if he's too buzzy or to 2 grass and 1 alfalfa if he gets fat. He won't get turnout because he's not been given permission for that yet, but BRH trainer will be getting him out every day so that's good. He also won't get the hot walker since I don't think I'm going to trust him on it with the baby TBs.

I know what stall I want, or at least what wing of the barn I want. I want him in a 12x36 stall/paddock combo in this one area where he won't be tempted to jump out. I also need to buy no climb and some wire to make him what will hopefully prevent him from doing the same fucking thing again. If he does manage to climb, I'm going to give them permission to put him in a box stall without my direct permission. Just move him. No climbing.


Tack Room
I don't know where my tack will go. It's kind of a random little place, there are some random tack lockers throughout the property or you can bring your own little locker/shed/trunk/whatever. If there's an open tack room/locker near his stall that I like (unlikely), then I want it, but it's most likely that I'll have to buy my own. It needs to be weatherproof-ish and big enough to hold a saddle rack (hopefully two so one can have pads on it), two big garbage cans for feed, and have some shelving/hooks in it. At first I'll just be bringing my trunk over, which will stay permanently as extra storage, and maybe stealing this one random shed thing from the ranch that is kind of falling apart just to keep my saddle and a freestanding saddle rack in.

Even his shitty canter, I can't wait

Training
I need to talk to BRH trainer, although we sort of already made plans. The idea is to hand him over to the trainer for 30 days, although I'm feeling really bold and strong recently so I'm hoping to be doing mostly lessons and less rides. No offense to BRH trainer, but I want to quickly reestablish the connection and get him thinking about dressage from the get go. BRH trainer is a great dressage rider but um, you know. Regardless of how bold I'm feeling, I want full training, five days a week of lessons or rides. I'd rather be frustrated because I'd rather be riding on my own than be frustrated because my horse bucked me off again. BRH trainer will for sure be the first one on him in the round pen when he comes home, although I really want to ride him on the first day he gets ridden, even if it's just me being led around at the walk.


Feed
I need to buy him his grain (LMF Gentle Balance and Rice Bran, although I'm going to pull him off the Rice Bran and find something else to put him on) and make sure that I have enough of all of his supplements. I really really hope my local feed store has the LMF food, since it's right on the way to the barn. If not then I'll have to get creative about where to pick up grain, maybe on the way home from work. He'll stay on his MSM, the Osteon, and the SmartCalm until it runs out. If the SmartCalm is working, he'll stay on it, but he's for sure coming off the Osteon whenever we get permission from my vet, it's too expensive. After he gets settled, I'll put him on a hoof supplement, but I'm letting myself ignore that for now.

I can just TASTE the connection... wait that's weird

Saddle Fit
At a recent horse show, I found out that my old decrepit Custom saddle can have its tree changed out and be fit to TC! So one of the things that I need to do now that I have a date is to call them and schedule that fitting. I want to schedule it as soon as possible so that I don't have to ride in an illfitting saddle for too long, but I also don't want to be terrified as I try to ride the horse during the fitting. Obviously BRH trainer will be there, so I'll have to schedule it on a day that he's around so I'll have to confirm with him when that will be.


Farrier
I totally don't have someone to trim him yet. Woops. Hopefully he'll get a trim close enough to when he moves where I'll have a bit of time to find one. I can use Rico's shoer, but she isn't a barefoot person. Also I'm kind of a psycho client and don't want to ruin my mom's relationship with her (she shoes all their horses) if it doesn't work out, I like what she does to Rico's feet but I was spoiled by a barefoot trimmer at TC's old barn and want to find someone similar to that person. So I'm looking to find someone else who does barefoot feet. I'm going to ask the BO and BRH trainer who they recommend, as well as a couple friends there who are just as obsessive as I am.

Probably my favorite picture of us, hence it being my facebook
profile picture since September, I'm lazy

I'm so excited guys. SO EXCITED. It's been over six months since I sat on the horse, and it will be about seven when he finally comes back. Seven months is a long time and a lot of things have changed in that time, but what hasn't changed is that I'm SO FUCKING EXCITED to ride my horse. I'm so glad this rehab is almost over. Can't wait to feel that gorgeous trot and that amazing connection. And hopefully I don't come off too many times this summer as he gets back into the swing of things.

Eliminating Baggage

Thanks everyone for your kind words about my job! I officially accepted the offer today and am now scrambling to get everything all ready for my start date in two weeks. I'm now no longer a dressage trainer (although I'm keeping a few clients), it feels good. And it's apparent in my ridiculous struggles this weekend at the clinic.

Sunday morning was the morning of what is probably going to be my last clinic for a while, so I was determined to get something really great out of it. I rode with Barbi Breen-Gurley, an S judge down in Southern California. I’ve never ridden with her and have never audited her, which goes against my always-audit-before-clinics rule, but I break that rule all the time. I looked up a few tests that she rode on youtube and was super impressed with her. Her horses are so light and steady, something I value so much and want to ensure of TC’s training. I also looked up what people thought of her on COTH and such, nothing that anyone said gave me red flags, so off I went!

After enjoying a beach day on Saturday! SIL and I rented boogie
boards and played in the freezing cold water. I remember saying
"I'm finally used to the water!" and then realizing that I was
actually just completely numb. 

We arrived right on time to do some longeing and for me to hop on. Boy am I getting brave about the amount of time I leave for my baby horse to load into a trailer by himself, be quiet on the longe line, and be quiet undersaddle. But the lesson was 45 minutes and I normally ride him 30-40 with no longeing, so I didn’t want to exhaust him. I also wanted to work through any tension or retraction in the neck with Barbi. Sure I don’t get a lot of that at home anymore, but getting her opinion on how to fix it was invaluable as it is likely that I will be moving him within the next month and will need to reinstall the relaxation, connection, and throughness, possibly with little to no help.

Longeing was fine, he was super relaxed and soft, yet responsive. I got on and we went into an arena we had never been in, so he was a little questionable. Nothing horrible, but he was looking around a lot so he started to get rigid and I started to get rigid. I was happy when Barbi showed up to call me out on all of my shit from the get go.

Much more relaxed (but just as impressive) than this

The biggest takeaway, which I’ll say now since I will reference it a few times, is that I have baggage from Rico that is negatively (and positively, I mean I have a lot of confidence in my training ability because of him) affecting the way that I am training this horse. So keep that in mind as I go on and on about it.

We talked a bit and I told her his story- I started working him in January and did a lot of his training on my own. I told her a little bit about my story- Gold medal last year, GP horse retired, having fun while struggling to ride at the lower levels again on such a tricky green horse. Our biggest new-place problem is tension, retraction in the neck, and my idiot attempts at matching his rigidity instead of fixing it. When we’re at home we are working on alignment and throughness.

This actually happened, right? Because sometimes I ride like
I have never done this shit before in my life.

She had such nice things to say about TC. It felt really great, since I feel like I kind of saw through the ugly in the beginning. Ali and I have been his biggest advocates in terms of him being a quality dressage horse, which is not to say that other people don’t like him, but it’s a western barn and he’s kind of big and gangly. Barbi agreed and took her praises even further. She says his gaits are fantastic and he’s an amazing horse, I just need to be sure not to fuck it up (my words!). She commended his walk and trot, and said that his canter was good but lacked strength.

We started with leg yields, a little off the rail and a little back. Then some turns on the forehand. She wanted me to use a whip so I had Ali (who came to watch, I’m going to miss my awesome supportive barn!) run to the trailer to get it. She kind of got after me for not using one. I told her that I was so reliant on Rico with the whip that I had wanted to avoid using it on TC (baggage). TC also doesn’t respond too well to it, as evident by his kicking a few times at it. Eventually he caught on though.

This guy, really? One of the first "conformation" pictures I
have of him

Barbi emphasized precision, but not in an unyielding way- she didn’t care if he whinnied or ran sideways or looked at stuff. She said he was just a baby, still sucking his thumb. But precision as in small movements to fix problems (baggage). I rode down the long sides and she had me flex him to the left for 8-10 steps, then go straight, then flex him to the right. Not enough to be noticeable, just enough where I felt like I had him between my reins. I think if someone was watching, they’d just have seen me going in a straight line. Really small, precise movements. I liked this a lot, because he gives me such a great feeling in the bridle that I assume he's totally between both reins, and a lot of the time he is. But I need to ask him questions about it, rather than just assume he gets it, so that he really truly learns what it means to be between my reins. 

She wanted me to be MUCH lighter. I don’t see myself as a heavy rider, certainly not, but I do get rigid when he does (baggage). Every time I had to use a rein aid, she wanted me to give, much more than I was used to. Even my aids had to be lighter unless he wasn’t getting it. TC was a little confused and refused to stretch into contact at first, but then he started listening harder and stepped up. I know on this blog I’ve gone on about how great he is in the contact. That contact is now COMPLETE FUCKING SHIT. This contact was electric, not only was he right there as he always is, I also felt like the tiniest minuscule aid would go right through him. Completely and utterly connected. I can’t imagine it getting better than this, but that's how he felt before, making me further believe that everything can always get better and more magical.

Not a great representation of how he's been going at home due
to my rigidity but this here, this is shit

She nailed me on the engagement thing that Tracey had nailed me on a few months ago. But I finally 100% understand what I need to do, and TC handled the change a lot better than he had at Tracey’s clinic. I think he’s ready for it now. Basically the pace I have him going at is too big and fast (baggage and baggage). Barbi said that he had big gaits, like super big, and I’m thinking more about the scope than the strength and I’m risking scaring him (personally I think he trusts me enough where he won’t get too scared but I get her point).

So I need him to slow down and learn to engage a little bit better, be better balanced. I stopped and we talked about the nagging (baggage). She basically said “well don’t,” and we had a laugh about that. But I pressed further, asking if it was okay to push him into a bit of a bigger trot to make my point about the forward. She said yes but that I have to go back to the engaged trot. I can’t recreate how she said it, because it’s more than that, but it was perfectly clear to me. I have such baggage about Rico being lazy that I’m letting my issues with Rico’s laziness transfer and TC is being run off his feet in the process. No more of that.

The canter was questionable, she had me work on the timing of my aid from trot to canter (which has always been a weakness of mine). I have to ask when the inside front leg is on the ground, and she insinuated that posting into it wasn’t a bad thing, but that I had to be on the wrong diagonal. The canter itself was kind of shitty, she had me on a 20 meter circle and got on my case about not riding him on small enough circles. I agree, I’ve been choosing to ride on larger figures to help with the quality (no regrets, his canter is much better) but I do need to push him more at the canter.

Or does the horse just need more cookies?

Overall, it was such an amazing lesson. I loved her teaching style for a few reasons.

First, she was incredibly enthusiastic about TC. It’s so nice to hear those things from someone who judges at the Grand Prix level and has presumably seen a lot of really nice horses. I didn't ask her how far she thought he could go, but I left feeling more confident about his abilities than I have ever felt. I don't think he'll be my next Grand Prix horse, but Sunday morning was the first time I felt a tiny inkling that if he stays sound and if I make the right decisions, there is a chance that I could at least make it back to the FEI levels on him. I would love that. Anything after Third with him will be icing on the cake. 

Second, I love a clinician that talks constantly, and we were always interacting. We even stopped and talked about a few concepts here and there and it felt like she really cared what I had to say and never dismissed me. Her theory was on point, and she explained it well. If I didn’t get it, she’d reexplain it in a different way. We came back to engagement vs energy so many times and she explained it in a different way each time. I finally got it at the end.

He listens well too

Third, she managed to give me a massive kick in the pants without making me feel bad about myself or my horse. I have zero excuses for the bad habits that I've developed in the last eight months on this baby. It was obvious that she expected much better of me. She told me that I should know better about a few things that I was doing, like the rigidity, like the baggage I’m carrying from Rico. But she always made it feel like she was on my side. That she wasn’t blaming me for how I had been doing, just that she wanted me to know that I was capable of more and that I should step it up for myself. It was really empowering to essentially hear “you’re not riding like a Grand Prix rider, knock that off.” Basically, her phrasing could have been so much meaner but she made me downright excited to ride this week. So sad that I am moving even further away from her. 

So yeah, if it isn't obvious, I highly recommend her as a clinician. 

On the way back, TC forgot how to horse and picked a fight with the trailer. He scraped off part of his gaskin and got a tiny cut on his pastern. Oh well. We sprayed some Aluspray on it (totally getting this when I buy him, it went in my ever growing Riding Warehouse shopping cart).

No bleeding on this, just scraped off all his hair

Cut and his chippy toes, I'm also going to buy
a rasp to delay my farrier visits too

Sunday night I spent with family. I have some really great family members. I have some family members who are super supportive. I have others who think that they are being supportive but their support is incredibly condescending and made me hide in the bathroom for a while (worth it, I finished Serial in there, so good!). Those family members make me a little glad that I'll be moving a bit further away from them.

My to do list has quadrupled with this move. So many loose ends to tie up- finishing at part time job, finding housing, finding barns, emailing clients, getting vet check, and I'm having a bit of car drama (which is resolving itself, I'll update later on that). And I need to finish my thesis. Luckily on Monday, I have the whole day to work on things. I'm going to power through that to do list and my thesis! Orrrr I'm going to read all of your blogs and go shopping for work clothes. 

TC's First Clinic

Today was one of the weirdest days. First, the weather was way way off, very windy and cold but then suddenly warm and then back to cold and windy. Second, I got into this clinic so last minute that I didn't have time to really think about what I was doing. And third, it was one of the worst and best days I've had with TC.

For those of you not quite following, as I said in my last post, I signed TC and I up for our first Tracey clinic at the very last minute, about twelve hours before the clinic started! The organizer was able to throw us in the end of it.

He is so cute

We arrived WAY early, mostly because Ali likes to be early for her lessons and mine was after hers. I walked TC around the property a few times and then let him graze. He wasn't bad, but he was definitely very loud (whinnying) and very tense.

Ali tacked up about 30 minutes before her 45 minute lesson and I decided to tack up and follow her out to the arenas because TC gets so worried about being left alone and I didn't want to tack him up alone. But this meant that we were tacking up a full hour and fifteen minutes before we had to be on.

Enjoy these pictures from my first Tracey lesson ever
(because I didn't get TC pictures today, so sad)

I thought he'd prefer that, and he did for a while, but when Ali started her lesson, he lost his shit. A few things contributed to this:

1. His trailer friend (Ali's horse) was far away-ish, not out of sight, but further away than he had been
2. Icelandic horses are apparently fucking terrifying
3. Said icelandic horse was in the round pen, the only place where we could longe

So I had to fly my psychotic part-friesian kite around the parking lot while he went back and forth between freaking the FUCK out about the icelandic horse and freaking the FUCK out about the fact that he was alone (he was not, there were so many horses around).

It escalated to the point where he was galloping backwards and sideways away from me.

I finally got the round pen after about 20 minutes of this. Obviously it continued in the round pen. He darted around, not realizing that the round pen was ROUND because he kept knocking all four legs into it and then trying to climb out (luckily it's all plywood). He whinnied and leapt and bucked and shook his head. Then he FELL, yes he fell clear onto my saddle (I'm beyond sad about that, it held up okay but it's definitely scuffed up), leapt up from his fall and galloped off.

Eventually. EVENTUALLY, like about thirty minutes, right before our lesson was to start, he started to come back to me.

I was legitimately scared though. Not because I was scared to ride him, whatever, I can sit anything he gives me and I'm not scared of being fallen on. I was scared of what Tracey would say and how I was going to get to the point of having a lesson- standing and talking to her, standing and putting my radio on, putting my earphones in, and you know, generally being rideable enough where the lesson wouldn't just be about me staying on. He's such a sweet horse, he's so quiet. But this was another side of him, he was panicky and powerful and I had major doubts.

So I got on him. His whole body was so tense and all he wanted to do was run, but we had ten minutes before our lesson was to start. So I tried to quietly walk him around. I did our shitty leg yields and some terrible turns on the forehand.

Then we trotted and... he was fine. And he was fine the rest of the ride. What the actual fuck. I'm so proud of him but like, WHAT THE FUCK?! It's good to know that he can come back like that. I still can't explain it.

Look at young Megan trying to keep her left hand from going rogue

So the lesson started and I talked to Tracey a bit about him while he stood quietly after his couple minutes of trot. I told her that he was four, that he was learning how to go on the bit and steer and generally be horse-like, I also told her that he was a bit wild today (understatement of the century) so I wanted input on how to handle him in new places. She had seen him trot so noted a few things that I already knew- his neck gets short, he looks tense, and he wants to get his hind legs out behind him.

We went immediately into trot because it was what was best at the time, he really can't handle walking too much if he's tense and Tracey said that it would be easier to get him relaxed in trot.

We started on a circle and right away Tracey wanted me to emphasize the bend more and slow him down. She said that we needed the bend to get him to let go a bit in the contact and lengthen his neck and the slow to get him to swing more. Essentially he needs to swing his stifles under him and round his lower back a bit more, and he can't do that when he's too forward.

The slow to me was a bit too slow, but I did feel a difference in his way of going. It took a lot out of me- I have to remain so present with him. I had to keep my posting slow and keep my knee behind the block but then also not lose my lower leg because I had to keep him trotting. He was a little confused and kept giving me a very nice walk transition instead of slowing down. We just ignored that.

After getting the trot a bit slower and rounder, we played a bit with a large serpentine. He was so good and went to each outside rein easily (showing off dem figure-8 skillz). Tracey wants me to stop holding onto my outside rein as much and work to push him out rather than hold him out. I know I've been doing that, primarily in the hopes of keeping him on some semi-decent geometry. But Tracey emphasized teaching him to be pushed out rather than holding him out, she said he'd learn to stay out when he learned to step off the inside leg better, rather than being held out. This was HARD, especially to the right. I don't like the feeling of careening around, and he didn't quiiite get it today, but I think she has a good point.

Rico was so up and down and twisted in the beginning

We then took a short break and she asked about canter. I have never cantered him off the property (except at the neighbor's like twice) but I said I was up for it. She just wanted to evaluate it.

He kind of boinged into it, probably because at this point he was tired, but his canter actually felt pretty good, a bit tense but of decent quality. Tracey said that his canter was not at all lateral, but it was his weakest gait. She wanted me to just focus on going forward on long sides and introducing circles slowly. Basically what I was doing was fine, he just needs miles.

We ended after a bit more trotting, where she emphasized slow again. I feel a touch uncomfortable with that. I understand the theory- he needs to slow down so he can carry himself (to the best of his ability) and swing better through his hind leg while getting his front end out in front of him a bit more. But he was SO SO lazy as a young horse and I like how forward he is now. So we need to work on that.

The other thing that she emphasized throughout was not to worry too much about him getting his neck too short because I was talented enough to work through it (that was nice to hear). Basically the fact that I can keep him round without curling when he gets short is huge. She says not to be afraid to take him a little short in the neck to make a point (such as to slow him down when he charges) because she knows that I can get him back to reaching forward in no time due to my good instincts/talent/other nice things she says. She said he was tricky right now but made it clear that I was doing an excellent job.

In the end, we talked a little about him. I explained the situation- I am on a very tight budget and want a project to take to third level-ish. She didn't want to say whether she thought he could go there, but she said he had a high quality walk and trot, and that his canter isn't as nice but it was not lateral and should be fine. She said that he seemed sweet and that he had a lot of potential, but that he would take a long time to train and needed a lot of miles off the property. But she gave me her blessing to buy him! So happy, now all I need is a job (I have an interview next week), and a vet/farrier check. Oh and a place to board, gotta go get on some waitlists soon.

His canter was "prongy"

And I wasn't even that late to my party! Except that I definitely wrote the majority of this post while I was "getting ready."

Going Places

TC had a big weekend!

Yesterday we hit the trail out at Harvey Bear. The horse is just a dream out there, I can't say enough good things about TC the trail horse. He's quiet, not spooky, and obviously has fun without physically getting nutty. It was such a nice time after a mildly stressful week as I enter the last month before I graduate.

This horse loves trails

Today I woke up real early to ride the little paint (client owned). He's doing quite well, the canter felt super uphill and I was able to do a bit of canter half pass, which he is new to. We got one good change the good way but nothing the other way. I think with his canter being more uphill like this, he's struggling to get the hind legs active enough to change. I like the difference in the canter, so I'm choosing to keep that over the other canter that may be easier for changes. Why? Because my clients are Tr/1st level riders and don't need changes but DO need a horse that is easy to ride at the canter. As he gets stronger, I'm sure the changes will come back.

I zoomed back home to make dinner (crock pot ftw) and then headed off to the ranch to take TC out.

Ali was having a lesson with Tracey and had invited us to tag along and school in the arenas. I emailed the BO and she agreed, so we saddled up and hauled on out.

The place was actually Woodmyst, where I kept Rico last winter and where I usually rode with Tracey. It's a great facility, lots of arenas but still that feeling of being a small barn (as in, not sprawling like the horse park and GG where we showed).

At the trail facility

We unloaded and the screaming started (and never stopped, ugh young horses). We had a LOT of time so I handwalked TC all over to get him away from Ali's dressage horse, who he just adores. He screamed a lot, interrupting my conversation with the BO, but I do have to say that he never once did anything BAD. He just whinnied and stuck his head in the air, but no acting up.

I decided to throw him on the longe in the round pen and the poor guy. The round pen is set up where the fence is all boarded up so the horses can't see anything unless their heads are way up. So he'd start to relax and stretch down (I did put him in the chambon a bit) and then he'd get nervous because he couldn't see so his head would fly up again.

After longeing, I hopped on and headed to the arena where Ali was warming up.

He was excellent! Still a little tense to begin and we never really got very round, but he was very rideable and only spooked once. We mostly trotted around on circles, across the diagonal, etc. The arena was HUGE and for the first time in a new place, he didn't seem agoraphobic at all, he marched down to either end and did just as good work away from the gate as he did near it. Progress!

They were dragging the dressage court as we warmed up but finished after about 10 minutes. So Ali and I headed over there. The dressage court was where Ali's lesson would be, but Tracey was a little late so I got to ride in there for about 15 minutes before she showed up.

In the dressage court, we played a little bit on circles and worked on relaxation. I think TC is starting to understand the dressage court a bit better. He's now seen one three times at three different facilities and each time we've warmed up in a separate arena.

This time, he picked up a lot easier than at the show and at RG where we had hauled out the first time. We did a few wobbly serpentines, some great diagonals, and managed to do a somewhat round circle in each direction.

Such a pretty place

I decided to take a little break and walk around the outside with Ali, but then Tracey wasn't there and I was like "eh, I have the court, may as well do a little more" and TC wasn't having it. He wobbled up centerline and then as we went to turn down the longside, I could feel him gearing up to charge away. I spun him around once and said "knock it off" in my best mean voice. Then the horse REALLY quieted down and did a good job. We had some of the best work in a place that isn't our covered arena sanctuary at home. He was soft, round, and stretching forward and downward, totally relaxed and perfect.

Just as I was ending, Tracey showed up to teach, so I vacated the arena. I'm not ready for her opinion yet on this horse so I had decided to do some more exploring with him while Ali worked with Tracey.

I untacked and we hand walked everywhere! He was excellent again, aside from the constant yelling in my ear (I have to commend myself for not murdering him, I HATE horses that scream directly into my ear for no reason). No spooking, just a little curious about everything.

My view when I was sitting with him

THEN, the best baby horse let me sit on a jump and watch 15 minutes of the lesson while he stood totally still and watched too. He's such a busy baby that I couldn't believe he was capable of being so patient while Ali finished up her ride.

I got to catch up with a friend and talking with her made me think of Nicole's recent post on what a ten means.

Friend said "wow he was CRAZY in the round pen earlier" and to me, he was actually REALLY good in the round pen. No bucking, no leaping, just got a bit fast and nervous here and there but generally settled down into his normal quiet self.

I had been really impressed with him the whole day so to have someone say he was being crazy surprised me. BUT friend admits to having some minor fear issues and I'm also used to this horse. He's part friesian so he's very high headed and he carries a lot of tension over his back when he's nervous. So he LOOKS a lot crazier than he is. But I've never had him do anything truly crazy, the worst thing he's done is think that bucking was a good way to get balanced for the canter and that was over about a month ago.

It was especially funny to me because I knew that the racehorse trainer was just down the barn aisle, and that my ten is maybe a two to him and friend's ten is probably a five to me.


We headed out and Ali said she had noticed that TC was still dropping weight so we're going to start giving him more food. Now that I live down here, I can give him extra food on the days I don't ride. I really hope that this is just temporary. The point of me buying a horse who can live in pasture is so I *don't* have to go to the barn every day. I bet I can arrange for someone to feed him on his days off but maybe the horse could just grow a pair and kick his roommate away from some food and keep weight on himself. He's definitely the bottom of the totem pole.

After the ride, he's slowly looking like a real horse. Here's
hoping the front end keeps growing up!

Getting Through It

This post is a little bitchy, sorry. But I've littered it with pictures from the Olivia clinic which I forgot to post (wtf!).

Learning how to ride a half pass properly

So cute

I told Tracey about my troubles tonight. That I'm worried that Rico doesn't really have what it takes mentally to compete at the highest levels. That I'm frustrated that Rico seems to have no work ethic, no energy, and gives no shits about whether I have to haul him through movements. I used the "R" word (retirement) several times and was nearly in tears.

Happy picture! Look at the pretty animal!

The good news was that Tracey said that she hit a similar wall with her last Grand Prix horse when moving up from Intermediare I to Intermediare II. She said that it eventually got better, the horse was still lazy but it wasn't to the extreme that it had been in the past. She also said that Rico doesn't look that unhappy. He's not sour to the work, just unenthused.

The bad news is that Tracey didn't have some magical quick fix that I've become so accustomed to. Luckily she gets him in two weeks, but until then, I need to survive.

In the lesson we experimented. First we played a bit with adding the piaffe/half steps into the walk and trot work. That did help, he felt a lot more reliably forward at the trot. Not perfect, as demonstrated by his sudden STOP in his left half pass. But still better. The right half pass was surprisingly steep and wonderful, Tracey was happy with it. The left half pass, not so much, lots of stopping to... rest? Not like that horse had a drop of sweat on him at the end of the lesson though.

The lesson was mostly canter work and so are the pictures

Someone is so fancy

At the canter we did a lot of forward and back, it was better in the sense that he was rounder and the quality of the canter was better, but there was no reliability. Every step felt like he was going to stop. It's like every step was the shutter step before the halt. That's NOT fun to ride.

I understand to an extent. He's a horse, he's not a machine. He doesn't want to do high intensity workouts every day to get to a level that he doesn't give one shit about. I mean I wouldn't want to be a high power athlete like he is... I wouldn't want to compete at the highest level of a sport that doesn't involve a lot of sitting.

I do like sitting

So comfortable

But like I said in my last post, we're trying everything. I'm changing the workout schedule, he gets more days off, more trail rides, more jumping, and less dressage. I'm changing his food, he's on COB and LMF Gold, he gets plenty of alfalfa as well. I'm changing his bits, I ordered a new weymouth and am going to swap his bradoon out.

I don't know what else to change other than to cease our participation in the FEI levels. But I'm not quite ready to give up just yet. We'll see how Friday goes and maybe that will give us both a boost.

More cantering

Half pass right