Almost Back

This weekend was a big weekend for me illness-wise. I did THINGS each day (one thing you saw yesterday!).

I rested all day Friday in preparation. Pretty much just sat on my couch all day working and then ended the day going to bed early and sleeping in on Saturday.

Me on Saturday morning

Around 10:00, I got in my car and drove the 50 minutes north (the longest I've driven since May 9th) to the Woodside Horse Park, there was an event going on and I wanted to see my event student do her show jumping round and then watch Kate's students too. In addition, Nicole was in town!

I wasn't sure how long I'd last and I wanted to longe TC afterward too. When I got out of the car, I felt pretty good, it's nice to know that driving isn't a whole ordeal. I found Nicole watching Advanced cross country and hung out with her for a while before Kate joined us.

I ended up lasting ALL DAY. I didn't leave until 5pm. I even went on Kate's BN course walk! The day's total was 12,000 steps, the most I've walked since early May. Mono can't keep me down. Well, I felt like crap on Tuesday soooo yeah.

The one picture I took at the event, look, a palomino running
around advanced!

I did get some shit from my clients who were shocked to see me after only three weeks of mono. Whatever. I felt fine, more tired than I'd normally be, but fine. I mostly felt like I'd never stepped foot inside a gym in my life, so I noticed the terrain in the course walk (hills are hard) and I did end up laying down on a jump a few times to rest while Kate was coaching.

After watching way more than I thought (everyone did amazing!) and chatting with my college student who is back for the summer (she's pulling me out of jumping-instruction retirement because she has no coach for an event in a few weeks and Nicole is putting that one on so I'd love an excuse to go visit her and Peony), I headed south.

To the softest gray nose

I had longed TC on Thursday, then gave him Friday off. On Saturday evening, he was happy to see me and glad to get out and move around.

He's looking really good even though he has also lost a lot of fitness. He was so good for me in the round pen. We worked on turns on the forehand, spiraling out to a shoulder-in type movement (he was just in the halter and longe line).

After that, I put a little pressure on him within it with the whip on top of his butt, an aid I want to use for his eventual piaffe training. I kept telling him to stay with me and when he slowed the trot but didn't break, I took the pressure off. I want him to think he can get that whip tapping to go away if he slows down so I can use it as a way to get him to tuck his little butt under him.

He's the cutest

It also has the perk of putting pressure on him and him getting that pressure to go away by slowing down versus by running out the front. I mostly care about that right now. Can I teach him that there's another way to get pressure to go away that doesn't involve him getting out over his front edge? Yes, hopefully.

He seemed to enjoy his work but I was dying by the end. Not of exhaustion, but of frustration that I can't ride him yet. I'm so excited to get back to it. I've got my trainer lined up for a lesson when I get better (she was like "listen to your doctors" and I am reluctantly doing that) and I've already planned out a last minute All Breeds push if we want to go for it. I'll see what she thinks. He's got all the movements from 2-3, it's just a matter of getting him back into fitness and polishing a few things.

Or we'll just quit dressage and trail ride for days, I don't care, I just want to ride!

This was four years ago! Look at how dark he was and how far
down my leg used to go... I thought he might end up being a
titch too small for me back then, 

It was a great day. I'm still obviously sick. Still contagious (I had to back away from everyone wanting to hug me and was really careful about staying away from people), still experiencing some symptoms, still have shit liver values (I get rechecked in another two weeks), but I'm doing way way better. This weekend was a breath of fresh air getting to spend time outside and with my friends and horse.

I still have a long way to go before I am 100% normal and able to go back to my busy life, but I'm so happy with this progress! Get in good shape, people, I shouldn't be able to do all this only half way through the shorter length of this illness, but I blame it on the insane cardiovascular fitness that my gym has dragged me kicking and screaming toward. Can't wait to get back to that, even though I hate cardio.

WW: I Lasted Eighteen Days

I finally got to see this view this weekend. I am so happy. Just six more days until I can ride TC!

I love this view!

Managed to beat the rain just barely

I asked my instagram feed whether I'd last the full six (then reduced to four by my doctor) weeks without even sitting on Rico. Most people voted no. They were right. I only lasted three weeks (well, two and a half), which honestly is pretty good! Not riding has SUCKED. I can't wait to get back on TC next week.

So, his mane has always been on the right side,
now in retirement, it's on the left... weird

I used to walk him down this road every day

Things Are Looking Up

I went to the doctor on Monday! I had previously only been to urgent care, so this was a regular  doctor visit. The purpose was primarily to get a note that said I could work from home while I recover, but also to check on the illness to see how it was progressing and ask a few more questions.

This was a new doctor and I got some questionable information... enough where I grabbed an appointment with someone else afterward. Essentially I was told I could go back to work now and could start riding and lifting whenever I felt like it, as mono is a self limiting virus and those aren't  contact sports. I mean, until I hit the ground from fatigue, right?

This is the only actual mono comic I've found

I mean, it's exactly what I wanted to hear, but after spending two full weeks feeling like crap and having to sit down half way through our brief conversation to rest... it didn't feel right to me. 

Doctor number two saw me after a poke lunch (yay, it was so good) and gave me much more normal information. I think I will keep this one. The good news is that I got the note, got HR's approval, and started working from home Tuesday, I plan on working as many 9-10 hour days as I can to make up hours from my two weeks off. 

The other good news is that I get to ride on June 4th! She said to wait a month after symptoms started (May 4th-ish, my first official sick day was May 6th but I felt like crap on the 4th and 5th) and then ease back into it. The biggest risk is my spleen rupturing if I were to fall. 

Not coming off if I'm sitting behind these perfect
brown ears!

I'm obviously being a little bit of an idiot about it, as I plan on sitting on Rico this weekend. That's just Rico though. Then the following weekend, I'll ride Sunny to see where my fitness is at before getting on TC. 

Speaking of TC, I went straight to the barn after the doctor's to see him! It was raining all weekend, so I stayed home and recovered from Friday's TC adventure. By Monday, I was feeling way better! Even after my doctor fiasco! I took TC out and we got to the turnout, I wasn't tired yet, but he was wild, so I put him in there and let him run around and buck a bit. I stood most of the time he was playing and then was still feeling good, so grabbed him and took him to the cross ties. I managed to curry him, brush  him, pick out his feet, and have a conversation with Kate before taking him home.

When I got home, I was feeling totally fine! I mean, walking up my stairs was still hard, I still felt nauseous, and I sat down all day Tuesday to recover, but it's really good progress toward being mostly human again. 

I'm hoping to be able to longe him this week when the round pen opens (we've gotten a crazy amount of rain for it being nearly June). Then the first week of June, I'll be back on him! That's like ten days away! 

The  most fun but also would rupture my spleen without really
understanding what he did

It's been nearly three weeks and I'm supposedly half way through being sick, but other than missing work, life is feeling more normal. It won't be totally normal until I can go back to work and crossfit, but riding is right around the corner and it's been nice to have something to do for 8 (err or 10) hours a day. I'm also pretty certain I could start doing easier body weight movements if I'm allowed to ride. 

This weekend should be fun even outside of sitting on Rico. I'm going to try to go to the little festival I always go to over memorial day weekend. I can normally do the whole thing in an hour, but I expect that I can't do an hour of walking straight with no breaks, so I expect to be sitting down a lot... I still want to go, as I think it will be a good test to see how much I can do in a day to see if I can start teaching again. 

Remote/Video Lessons

I've had some inquiries that since I'm sick, would I be willing to teach video lessons and/or remote lessons. Despite the impostor syndrome, I am very bored, so the answer is very much yes. Though I have never done anything of the sort.

Remote lessons would be at my normal non-travel rate, which I think is in the realm of a normal Gold-Medalist-but-not-CDI-competitor-or-judge instructor, at least in this area. I have high speed internet, a cell phone, and skype/the ability to download a skype-like video messenger.

Video lessons would be significantly less, as I can do those a little more randomly even though I anticipate both taking about the same amount of time. I anticipate needing a 3-8 minute video and then being able to write about a (long-ish) blog post's length response.

It was a beautiful day

I also have to say as a disclaimer that I am way more eloquent as a writer vs as an instructor so reading my blog and then expecting my lessons to come out in a similar manner will be disappointing to you. I can delete and rearrange things in the blog in a way I can't do in lessons.

Please email me (regentanzer at gmail) or find me on social media to talk about it. It might take me a second to get back to you, please forgive me. I'm introverted, exhausted by laundry, and until I get squared away with work and my current clients, I need to put those things first.

Finally Visiting TC

I went to the barn on Friday! Then needed to sit at home both Saturday and Sunday to recover... But let's focus on the barn.

TC was stoked to see me and I felt the same way! I was able to brush him and pick out all his feet before needing to sit down in the car, which I thought was pretty good. It gave him time to finish his grain.

So cute, very dirty though

I wanted to get him out, so I took him on a walk and made it just past the turnouts before I had to sit down again. I was sitting there with him grazing next to me when I realized that the turnouts were open and I could just put him in one and then sit and watch him. So I did! And it was way better for both of us.

He wandered over to the horses who live next to the turnout and played with them a bit, then wandered all over the turnout. A horse got put next to him and TC quickly trotted over to say hi and was probably over enthusiastic. He galloped around a couple of times and trotted up and down next to the new horse, who wanted nothing to do with him. All while the other three just watched and begged him to come back. Just ridiculous.

Wanting to hang with this friend

It was so fun to see him play and so fun to be out at the barn, even if I spent most of the time sitting in the dirt watching him in turnout. We've had some rain, but I think when the turnout dries out again, I'll make this a regular occurrence until I can start long lining him. My plan is that as I get better, he will get in better shape with long lining and ground work. When I'm clear to ride, we'll both be hopefully equally as out of shape.

It seems silly, but again that day knocked me out for the rest of the weekend. My fever is gone, but my temperature is actually now abnormally low, which is not unusual for an infection. I'm still finding a way to worry about it though, don't worry. And I've been nauseous nonstop since Friday, so that's been fun. Yay the next month is going to be an absolute blast.

These friends aren't interesting

I go into the doctor today (and then I'm hoping the nausea goes away so I can grab poke from my favorite place on the way back) for a check up. I was diagnosed at urgent care and they can only give you a three day note for work. I need something longer. The other good news is that HR has not totally rejected my desire to work from home. So I am going to have the doctor write a note that details what I am allowed to do, which is probably just everything but go into the office.

Fingers crossed HR okays this and I don't have to deal with the loss of income from going on critical leave. My awesome boss found me a contract job through our professional organization though, so that's helpful regardless! I'm excited to have some work to do and hopefully it will feel like I just decided that I was going to work from home for a month... and not ride... hrm.

An Unfortunate Diagnosis

It me! It not TC or Rico.

It's been radio silence here because I've been pretty sick for the last week and a half. It started out innocently enough with a headache and a low grade fever. I took tylenol and rode TC (he was so good I almost posted and ah I'm so excited about how things were going with him) at the beginning of last week while taking three days off of work since, you know, too-sick-to-ride and too-sick-for-work are two very different levels of sickness.

By Wednesday, I was feeling okay, so I went back to work Thursday. I felt kind of questionable at work all day, but it suddenly hit me really hard, and I mean "I don't know if I can drive home" hard that night when I was at a get together with coworkers.

I did get home but was trembling/shivering by the time I got myself into bed and took my temperature. 102.5. And theoretically that was the last day the fever was under 100 since (I assume I was fine that morning?).

This post brought to you by Office gifs

That was last Thursday. As I'm writing this, it's currently Tuesday afternoon (and now it's the evening and I'm posting this Wednesday morning). I'm writing it in pieces because even though I am laying in bed, focusing on the computer (which feels like it weighs 80lbs) and moving my fingers and deciding what to write is really taxing. Forgive me for any weirdness/typos/incomplete sentences.

I went to urgent care on Sunday, man is that place awful. First, I involuntarily watched way too much Shrek that day. Second, they kept it just cold enough for me to shiver the entire time, cool. Third, I got poked SO MUCH that day I am still feeling it. They poked my throat, my nose, and then they poked me and took a bunch of my blood. Ugh.

The good news about my urgent care visit is that I do not have pneumonia, strep, or a sinus infection. It's definitely a viral infection, she thought it was a flu. Or that I do hard drugs and have hepatitis. She told me that like six times. I ride horses and work in education, I cannot afford hard drugs. I apparently need to go back to the doctor when I'm better to make sure that my blood values all return to normal. Just to make sure I don't do hard drugs. K.

I had a whole post laid out about the weirdness that is my thoughts on a high fever, but I actually got called back into urgent care tonight (last night) because I wasn't improving. It was kind of a mistake and the doctor I saw said the flu could last for ten days and I was only on day six, but he said we'd rerun the tests to check in on my blood counts to see if he could give me an idea of when I would be feeling better. He was very nice and didn't accuse me of doing drugs, thank you sir! I didn't even shower before coming to see you!

They pulled blood like they did previously but from the other arm. It took them twice to get some probably because I was all messed up physically, mentally, emotionally.

At this point with two more days of some unknown 102.5+ fever, I was panicking. I haven't posted a ton about my anxiety, but I have it (I'm sure this surprises no one) and it manifests primarily in intrusive thoughts. I can mostly keep it at bay with CBD oil and keeping my brain/body active/tired, but sitting around for two days with "eh could be the flu, could be hepititis, could be a scary Amazon disease, who knows! You'll probably die and/or everyone else around you will die from getting it from you" was NOT GOOD.

Being sick AND anxious?? Hell yes, now I just
need to break my leg or something, the trifecta.

They finally got enough blood and looked at the CBC. Good news! My white blood cell count is going up! But my lymphocytes, which they finally looked at (damnit first doctor, don't just assume that I've done drugs, that's just how I look when I haven't ridden in a week), were abnormal. This generally points to, and after taking even more of my precious fucking blood out of my other arm, I was diagnosed with....

MONO.

What the fuck. I am thirty two fucking years old. THIRTY TWO. This is a teenager disease you get from playing too much spin the bottle. Well, turns out that I was too busy riding horses to be kissing all kinds of random people when I was a kid and now I can apparently balance both of those activities in my life.

In all seriousness, I have no idea where I got it from. Luckily for me, the only person I've kissed recently says he's had it before so he isn't going to get it again, and L lives far away now so I haven't been licking her as often as I usually do and not in the last month or two.

Prognosis is... six to eight weeks. I'm already in week two since I'm fairly certain my first day was at least May 5th, if not May 4th. I'm finding that there are pros and cons:

Pro: I can take tylenol to bring my fever down to do low key activities! (I had avoided this until now)
Con: Riding TC is not considered a low key activity and I could potentially risk internal organ damage by being jostled around, fucking organs

Pro: I can finally do all those things I've been meaning to do (learning Python, playing that video game I bought but have never opened, reading more books, etc)
Con: I will likely be too anxious to do those things and will instead lay in bed feeling bad for myself watching The Office

Pro: I'm allowed to be around humans!
Con: No licking humans. Also I should wear a mask and not sneeze/cough on people.

Pro: I can make hilarious jokes about mono, including the above
Con: Everyone is already sick of that joke

Me to mono
Everyone to me about my mono jokes

Pro: I'll save lots of money not driving around as much!
Con: I don't want to talk about my work's shitty disability and refusal to let me work remotely

Pro: I can probably go take TC on light walks and brush him and tell him how pretty he is, which is all he ever wanted me to do with him anyway
Con: I'll probably end up riding too early and then making myself sick again. Also I'm going to be sad to watch him lose all his muscles, oh well.

Pro: No pressure for All Breeds this year, not going to happen!
Con: No giant ribbon this year :( maybe I'll go for Second AND Third next year to make up for it. Or maybe I'll make my OWN ribbon that says "Survived a Disease Primarily Diagnosed in Teenagers" on it. I'll see about that. 

No but in all honesty, I'm devastated. I am going to hate not riding for the next at-least-four-weeks, I'm going to hate not working (I'm talking to HR and my boss tomorrow about my options), I'm going to hate not doing Crossfit. I have no idea what normal human beings do if they're not constantly driving around between jobs, working, riding horses, hiking, or weightlifting.

Also, seriously, all those times I exasperatedly wished that I could just sit in my bed without pants on with nothing to do for six weeks is BULLSHIT. I will never wish for such a horrible fate again. I haven't been wearing pants much, but it isn't glorious like I imagined it would be.

SO I'm not quite sure what is going to go down on this blog or in my life for the next four to six weeks (I'm counting on being on week two HARDCORE) and I'm putting off all major decisions for another week or two so I can see how my body handles it.

I'm very lucky that I was previously very healthy (damn gym making me so cardiovascularly fit), that I have great people in my life nearby who are willing to help me (and I can let them now that I know I just have to not sneeze on them), and that I know TC is in good hands/living in a big paddock/will enjoy his pampering/vacation.

I will hopefully be feeling better with the tylenol on board more often so I'm hoping I can go through my L-program materials and write some posts about that, be a bit more interactive on my blog and others' blogs, and generally feel more part of the blogosphere than I have recently. I'm also hopeful that next week I can start driving out to TC's paddock to hang out with him. My parents' house is 20 minutes away so I can also go over there to sit in the barn with Rico and hang out with their dog too. And I'm going to see if Kate will go see a movie in the middle of the day so we can try to be in the theater alone again and shush everyone around us.

In the mean time, I am taking all book, podcast, youtube, movie, tv show, blog, video game, and whatever else you can think of recommendations. I'm not sure how much energy I'll actually have but I will need some kind of entertainment! Today I plan on taking tylenol and actually taking the time to respond to everyone who has reached out, I have been SUPER bad about communication lately because I've been sick AND anxious, which is the actual worst.

Second Ride of the New Year

After feeling a bit disillusioned by my horse's inability to change in an hour long session in the round pen that he's spent a year and a half being terrified of, I decided to just buck up and ride him the next day (yesterday). I was still not feeling 100%, but I also feel like it's going to take me a week or so to recover fully.

TC though, was pretty ready to get back to work. Unfortunately for both of us, his stall isn't really well set up for shavings, so he had to lay in the mud to sleep the night before. When I got there yesterday morning (and probably this morning), he was still a bit wet and muddy. Such is life. I got as much of it off as I could but he is still so gross. I am SO done with this winter already!

Spooking at something probably

I opted just to ride in my mud boots. The pathway from my tack room to the cross ties was muddy, as was the pathway from the cross ties to the mounting block, so my nice boots were bound to get muddy. I was on a bit of a schedule so couldn't guarantee that I had enough time to make sure they weren't left with a speck of mud on them, so no boots for me. I am so paranoid about them.

I made it into the arena and hopped on. TC immediately was ready to stand up. Yay. After an extended break and/or after a day where we really emphasize whoa, TC comes out convinced that forward is not a thing he can do. So he balks a lot and threatens to rear. Both legs on with no contact means that he throws his head up. If you hit him or kick him he will stand up. He isn't being bad. I mean... it's not GOOD behavior, but it's like there's a block there. Whether it's that he is a bit sore and needs to work through it or whether he's just a bit mentally... incapable... and needs to work through it, I don't know. What I do know is that while last year when this happened for the first time, I had NO idea what to do and thought my horse had a rearing problem, this year I know that he just needs me to grab his little face and stuff him into work.

Once as he figured out the go button was a thing, he got real spicy and we had a great ride. He's now trained, which is a fucking miracle, so spicy is no longer code for "bolting all the time" like it used to be. Now I can keep him into the outside rein and while he still peers around at stuff and gets animated, he never took a step out of place. He's not the fun safe ammy horse that I want him to be yet, but he's also not the bolting maniac he was last year. Progress.

I put my scarf down on him and realized that
it matched so i made him wear it, he thought he
looked fabulous (or just wanted a candy cane)

He felt pretty good for not being ridden for over a week. We just hacked a bit- no fun stuff. Walk, trot, canter on large figures. No sitting trot since he felt very cold backed and I probably would have coughed up a lung. But it was a really nice ride. Sure, his canter transitions were the absolute worst and he kept staring up at the rafters, then getting animated like he wanted to leap up into them to chase the birds... but he was really good about keeping all that contained. He's figuring out how to horse a bit better.

I'm so glad to be on the other side of the flu. Just in time for going to the dentist and having jury duty. Um, this is the month where I get all the miserable stuff out of the way and then the rest of the year is just super awesome, right??? Luckily this weekend I have plans with some of my favorite people to help me break up all the less fun stuff I have going on. And I'm going to enjoy it not raining for a few days and ride my rain hater!

Back to Work

Yesterday I went to work for a few hours and then went to the barn after my early afternoon meeting. The good news is that although I feel very out of shape and am coughing a lot still, I feel mostly normal. The bad news is that now I have a CRAZY horse to deal with. Despite having a week off here and there all year with me traveling to PA so much, the weather has made this last week off MUCH harder to deal with.

It rained a ton on Monday and quite a bit on Tuesday so that coupled with the rain we got the week before means that TC's paddock is a mud pit. TC is also pretty wet and muddy himself. Gross.

I'm not impressed with how TC's stall and paddock are holding up. His stall definitely gets a bit wet inside, though he can get out of the rain. His paddock is terrible though. He has two mats coming out of his stall (there are two entrances to his stall) and one near his water, but other than that the whole paddock is basically just... mud. TC is luckily smart enough not to run around like a maniac in the mud and hurt himself (well, so far, am not holding out hope), but that just means that he's really nuts now.

I think one of the reasons why he's been so good this winter is because while it's been a bit cold, we haven't had rain, so he can trot and canter in his paddock a bit. Now there's no way for him to self exercise. Right when I stopped exercising him.

This pathway was so much muddier the other day

When I went out on Monday, I took TC for a short walk and then did some ground work in the covered round pen. Immediately when we got in there, I regretted every time I had turned him out in there. TC thinks that this round pen is where you go crazy. It doesn't help that he's always thought this round pen was where horses came to die at the barn. It's got really tall sides and is tucked against a scary building, the bathroom, and a house, so it's not like all the other arenas/round pens where we can walk around the outside of it.

So it's really spooky. And I've already set the precedent that he goes in there and goes crazy. So now facing a winter of being stuck in either there or in the covered arena where I am not allowed to long line, if I don't want to ride, I am stuck in the round pen. Where TC is crazy. Oh good.

I for sure couldn't ride on Monday. I probably could have on Tuesday, but on Monday I was determined to change the way TC thinks about the round pen.

I headed in there on Tuesday armed with the clicker and long lines and it was basically a shit show. Looking at what worked, I probably should have done a few things in different orders. First, do not allow him to be insane in there. I thought that maybe letting him trot around a bit would cause him to settle. It did not. He did not settle (he never has, once as the hamsters are off their wheels, you have to get him stopped), he just kept getting himself worked up and would go faster and faster. Second, I should always always always be working on this horse's brakes when he gets like this. Because again, he will work himself into a frenzy and just drag me in circles. Third, how many times do I have to learn to REMOVE ALL MOUNTING BLOCKS FROM THE AREA when I want to long line.

So was this horse, much muddier

So after making those mistakes and then seeing with my own eyes him work himself up, me not be able to put pressure on the bridle quick enough, him freak out because of that and then take off.... I finally used my brain (we only had maybe 3/4 of a brain between the two of us it seems). I managed to get him stopped and first reinstalled some real good brakes. We had to do a lot of backing up in all this, but soon he figured out that when I said WHOA, he needed to get his shit together and just stop. No matter what was happening around us.

Then I tackled getting him to stay out on the rail. We worked in small circles on the one side of the round pen that he kept avoiding, then slowly spiraled out into the larger area. After that, we started to trot just in the 3/4 of the circle that he'd stay out on, and then I'd ask him to walk and then step out in the quarter he was nervous about.

Soon he was as good as he was going to get in there. It's still not good. It's very tense and tight and nervous. But at least obedient.

Still, I kept thinking to myself, is this worth all the hassle? I mean it's nice to have a place for him to get exercise when I'm not on him. I wish my barn let people longe in arenas because it'd be really convenient to just pop him on the longe real quick on days like this one, but it doesn't. But also does he really need a longe or a long line? Certainly not if it's just going to freak him out and make his back tight.

I think the answer is to mostly ride when the outdoor round pens are closed and maybe tackle the indoor round pen at the walk until he really learns to settle in there. I don't know how I feel about him trotting around and around, however obediently, with his back completely rigid and his little legs going up and down. It seems completely counter to what we've been achieving and I do think it will have a negative effect on him until I can fix it in there. I'm a big believer in not practicing things badly. It's the same thing with his changes, when he would only offer me unclean ones, we did not practice them. You do not practice bad movements. I do not want him to practice trotting around with his back tight.

Always been skeptical of this round pen... 

Either way it ended up being a good day, though I was as frustrated as I have been in a while with him. It wasn't his fault, I'm just kind of done with the stupid young horse phase. He's coming 7 this year and I don't like that he's still so emotionally immature.

At the same time, I acknowledge that if I had continued along the path that we were on when he was 4 (instead of him getting injured and me having to take 1.5 years off of doing anything with him), he'd be a lot further along by now in that department. So the answer is just to keep trucking and acknowledge that just like last year, in the spring I'll be very glad that I didn't kick him to the curb this winter. Or maybe the answer is to move to the desert where it doesn't rain ever. I think every winter will get better though, either that or he'll start getting every winter off for real!

Unexpected Vacation

So with being sick for a whole week completely unexpectedly, TC had a random week off. I managed to get out to the barn myself, or have someone go out, to feed him his grain every day, but he pretty much just hung out in his paddock.

It's totally fine, because he's hanging out with his reduced work schedule anyway this winter and it's not like we have any major things coming up. I am doing the Mary Wanless clinic myself (I hope! I need to email the organizer to double check), but it's the instructor workshop so there's no riding involved. I did let the organizer know that I could demo if she needed me, but I think that's out because it's only a couple weeks away and there's no way he's fit enough.

I finally did get to go to the barn yesterday for the first time in a while to at least brush him and test the waters. I was absolutely exhausted from brushing him and walking him a bit, but at least I got to be out of bed.

He's like pls don't be sick anymore pls ride me instead

 My almost week off included a lot of me laying in bed feeling like I was going to die. I can't believe this illness. I was completely fine on Tuesday the 2nd and then woke up Wednesday morning feeling kind of sick. That progressed to Wednesday afternoon with a fever and the fever didn't go away until yesterday. I'm working from home today and going back hopefully tomorrow.

So most of the first week of the year was spent laying in bed, complaining about being sick, reading increasingly questionable Wikipedia pages, watching a bunch of clips from a TV show called "My Cat From Hell" on youtube, texting my friends (sorry guys), not eating nearly enough, shivering, sweating, putting weird shit into my Amazon shopping cart, playing way too much Freecell on my phone, taking my temperature over and over again, trying not to cough into the phone when Kate and L called me (thanks guys!), binge watching increasingly questionable television shows such as CSI Cyber (which is terrible by the way, TERRIBLE), reading my own blog from when TC was in rehab to remember how much worse things could be, signing up for a dating app and then telling anyone I matched with that I was really sick right now (so more complaining), and finally, being so desperate for attention/entertainment that I even annoyed my totally annoying cat who is now pretty done with me being around all the time.

Back when she actually wanted to spend time with me

I am so glad I am feeling nearly back to normal. I don't think my sanity could take another day of being sick. And let's not get started on how my horse is feeling about me being gone for so long!

Please tell me no one else had this flu, drink lots of fluids people, this shit will take you to places on the internet that YOU DO NOT WANT TO VISIT.