It Should Be Easy

As I drove home from my lesson, which I am still talking about because I have no chill, I was smiling way more than I have in the last month with TC. I also had a question for myself: if this is a First level horse, what the hell have I been riding all this time? And how am I ever going to ride this freak of a horse when he hits the FEI levels?

God I wish I had media. I need a soloshot stat! Or to tune up my "hey come to my lesson" spiel, I think I make it sound too boring and/or don't offer good enough perks.

Perk: hanging out with this hippo

Back up a bit. After the first five minutes of basilisk wrangling where Tanya reminded me that I was capable of riding my horse through some shit and that my horse was mentally strong enough to be told that he was naughty, we got down to business.

Much of the lesson was just kind of hitting buttons to help diffuse the energy, almost experimenting with a warm up of sorts (since Tanya has me a tiny bit convinced to maybe possibly maybe go show with them... I will be posting my long rambling pros and cons eventually).

We put him in shoulder-in down the long side, then leg yield across the diagonal and rinse, repeat. Tanya's two big points for me were to a) feel like TC is taking me in the lateral work vs me pushing him and b) keep the trot a trot in the lateral work.

Basically, TC should not require any leg once as I put him in a lateral movement. I was thinking that the left leg yield felt so good and Tanya said "get him off your right leg, he's not responding" and I had no idea that she legitimately meant NO leg. Like I put him in it and then all aids release. Not even a maintenance aid. Wow okay. Same thing with the forward energy. The trot stays a trot, it doesn't get shuffle-y or change at ALL. And she meant... at all. Like I was thinking that our shoulder-in was feeling pretty good and Tanya said that he unloaded his hocks in it. Oh. Okay.

Guess who else liked to unload his hocks all the time?

The canter work felt pretty good, though I was happy when TC got a little backed off like he does at home so that she could help me with that. Tanya's big thing with the canter was making sure that the inside hind leg maintained its depth (under the abdomen) when going from the medium canter to the collected canter. TC, like a lot of horses learning to collect their canter, loses the big reach from the inside hind leg sometimes, and this is generally due to being tight in the lower back.

Shockingly (not), this means that he is more likely to prop and/or buck when asked to move forward again. The reason being is that if he is not committed to having his legs under him, he is able to take them back and up in a buck. Duh. But also, this is an amazing revelation given that I've been literally having him buckbuckbuckbuck whenever I ask him to go forward out of a "collected" canter and now I know why.

I can't even describe what the canter felt like when we actually got it. I didn't know I had a horse who could canter like that. I didn't know horses could canter like that. It was uphill and powerful... but just easy. Like he got into it and I immediately was like .... um .... what do I do now? And the answer was just DON'T FUCK IT UP.

See how he is not coming through with his inside hind leg as
much as he could be? Well, it's mostly because he's a ball of
fire at this point, but also I need to put more horse in front of me

Vs this when he was more relaxed, gotta find this reach with
that lift in the shoulders!

Back in trot, we went back into shoulder-in and once again I lost the hind legs out behind us when Tanya had me add more trot. She told me that this was TC's tendency, if she had to pick one (not retracting his neck? That made me so happy to hear), though she didn't seem concerned at all.

She had a fix for this though. After a few quick trot-walk-trot transitions, she had me "almost walk" in trot, basically take him back to half steps (phew glad I started those recently) and "make him uncomfortable" there. Like tap him and ask him to get his hind legs under. Keep him round and straight and active, but ask him to compress a bit. From there, ride out.

So I obviously got him there and then dumped him on the forehand as I rode out in this giant pushing trot. Erm, not the point, Megan. We went back and did it again and instead of out I thought up like a passage transition and HOLY SHIT. If I thought the canter felt amazing, it felt like shit in comparison to this trot. I've never felt a trot like this. Certainly not out of this horse. But also not out of any other horse. Damn.

How long until he does the prancing?? And maybe this time I
will teach my horse to do it in a real bridle lol I had been riding
him bareback that day and was like sure, let's try the piaffe
in hand against the barn because of reasons

I think the biggest thing that I took away from this trot and canter work is the title of the post. This should all be easy. My job is to build a reinforcement history for responses to my aids so that I don't have to nudge and kick and pull and poke or provide any support to him. I should be able to put him in a lateral movement and not have to do anything until I stop him. I should put my leg on and he should go bounding forward and stay that way even after I take my leg off. I should be able to ask for ANYTHING and he should just be like "yep" and go for it.

And I mean yeah, if it doesn't feel easy, something is wrong and probably in the basics. For TC, it's that he just gets behind me a half step. Not lethargic like Rico, not requiring kicks every step, but enough behind me where I have to remind him of things periodically. No reminders.

This leg yield is now like... twice as good because I am doing less

We ended after the last bit of trot work and talked about TC for a while. What I took from that is: I really need to get on board the Believe-in-TC train that Tanya is on. She seemed really impressed with him, his gaits and his willingness to just step up and do the work. I, on the other hand, let him get away with propping in the canter and not staying fluid in the lateral work just because this is what I feel like a backyard bred horse that I found in a pasture would feel like. I just think "well I can't expect him to be as good as Rico, Rico was imported from Germany (not by me) and bred to do this" but NO.

As of this lesson, TC is basically at the place in his throughness and his gait quality as Rico was when we got to Prix St George.

Now though, now it's time to be able to find these gaits all the time and not only in the presence of my wizard of a trainer.

Just Sit There

This week has been a bit relaxing for TC and I, which is much needed. Coming up to the show, I was getting really stressed about the heat and about making sure that all the movements were well schooled and everything else involved in show prep.

So being able to relax this week and just play a bit has been fun. We've done lots of walking in the field (the tracks aren't dragged, so just walking) and of course, some work too.

Old pictures today because I wasn't on it

Tuesday and Wednesday I mostly spent on the connection and my position. The connection was a little questionable in the show - he does this thing sometimes where when you put your leg on, he sticks his head on his chest, so he feels super behind the leg but you can't really put your leg ON him. So we fixed that.

Another big thing that came out of the show was using the mirrors to fix my position. I've gotten lax on my left side again and am once again loose in the left oblique. So I spent a lot of time thinking about that, especially tracking left. It's not feeling like such a shit show to the left!

This place is so pretty when it's green

Today though, my focus was on the lateral work. At my last lesson with Tanya, she set me up for such a good shoulder-in that it felt like I just had to sit there. Let me tell you something about myself, I love to just sit there.

That shoulder-in felt addicting. I want that to be how every shoulder-in feels. It felt like I could just think "hmm maybe a shoulder-in" and he immediately transformed under me. It felt like I could ride anything from within it- like a medium trot or a walk transition. It felt like MAGIC. And I loved it.

Since then I've been mostly focusing on our leg yields because of the show. And those are not as majestic even when they are good. They just don't improve the gaits in the same way the shoulder-in does.

This morning after finding some magical shoulder-in, I decided to put in some solid time in the walk in haunches-in. TC can do haunches-in, but it's still in it's pre-acceptable state of being very slow and a little short in the neck. He's closer to the acceptable range to the right, but very far from it to the left. The main issue is that the response to that aid is slow and deliberate. This is kind of how he operates with new stuff, he slows it way down and uses his little pony brain real hard. I want him to get more comfortable in it, where when he feels the aid, he doesn't have to think so hard. And that's just repetition.

I love this face so much

After we did a bunch of haunches-in at the walk, I did a little work on leg yield in canter from the rail to centerline, basically a precursor to half pass. TC is quite resistant to being pushed from right to left generally, and it was doubly so at the canter, his weakest gait. We did very shallow leg yields off the outside leg on the left lead and he got lots of praise for it. I really aimed to maintain the jump in the canter so that we could get a good sideways push. He got a little short in the neck but was generally pretty great about it.

I'm really excited to keep playing with all this. I feel like we've been focusing so much on the First level stuff that we've gotten a bit behind in the Second level stuff. I really want to get him more laterally supple and to get the lateral work solid by the end of the year. It's so helpful for strength building aside from being like... required for the level we want to do.

For now though, it's less about strength building and more about continuing to shape the response to the aids I want him to respond too. And getting that magical feeling in all the lateral work like we had at our last lesson!

Another Lesson, Already!

Remember to go back and enter the contest, just a couple more days!

Last night I had another lesson with my new trainer. I texted Kate afterward and said that I wanted to cry, it's been 3.5 years since I had dressage lessons so close together with such an amazing trainer.

As I alluded to in this post, things didn't go as great after the lesson. I actually had a day where I came out and TC was vehemently NOT going to the bridle. Instead, every time I'd put my leg on he'd throw his legs up in the air all fancy like, but it was not rideable. So for the last week, we've been working really hard to get him to stay up to the bridle and it's been MUCH better.

His canter continues to get better

We wandered around a bit before Tanya got there, then went to find her. We discussed the issues with him staying out to the bridle both generally and in the show ring. She said that it takes a while for horses to become more rideable in the show ring, and that he just needs to show more. And at home, I do need to make sure that I am a) not riding him UP all the time, which I am not and b) really insisting that he stay through and into the bridle, which I am. On the same page, great!

I can't quite remember the order of everything in this lesson, so here are some themes:

A More Dynamic Trot
The lesson started out with TC being a bit lazy due to the heat (get used to it, buddy). He was quite behind my leg, so Tanya said to ask him to be a little more dynamic- can I put my leg on and send him forward and then can I half halt and bring him back? I tend to get locked into one trot in the very beginning, but he really needs to start out a bit more ON. I sent him a bit too aggressively and he had a bucking fit, then cantered forward. Mmmkay. We need to work on this.

Once as we had forward, things were much better, we kept playing with the forward and back a bit, just adjusting the trot. She had me ride him slightly lower at first, then we picked him up again, this time really emphasizing that he stay out to the bridle. And it felt great!

The trot really transformed this lesson. Tanya told me to just play with it. Little touch with the whip here, little touch with the leg. Can he get a little more engaged, a little more collected. She had me do a fair amount of forward and back, rocking him back, then adding engagement to the more collected trot, then allowing him to cover more ground in the same balance. It was SUPER cool.


Sitting Trot Adjustments
I told Tanya I was working hard at the sitting trot and she seemed confused. I was REALLY tired last time and have been doubling down on my TRX workouts (trying to do it every day and failing, but doing it at least 4x per week) to help with that. I'm also focusing on bouncing him up rather than pushing him over the ground with my seat.

She kind of dismissed it and said I sat fine, but that I could keep my seat bones further back. I tend to hop them forward and tuck my butt under me, which Alexis had said in my lesson with her last month (so many lessons lately!). I think this is my way of protecting my back injury. So I really thought about elongating my thigh and pushing my seat bones back a bit in the saddle. What this does is allow me to sit the full scope of his gait, which is helpful when I'm asking him for more gait. I found it a lot easier to stay with him when I put my leg on for more trot.

Playing with the trot to get him more engaged and collected

TC's Natural Forces
There are forces running diagonally through TC's body from left to right and from right to left. In all horses, one force is stronger than the other. In TC, it's the left to right force. This is what is causing basically ALL of my problems.

In the trot leg yield right, he falls out the right shoulder and won't stay up to the left rein. In the canter he falls out all the time tracking left and I can't get him as through. In the shoulder-in, it's hard to get the angle going left. He just gets against me when he's not staying up to the left rein. It goes on and on.

To fix this, Tanya said that I needed to do all that I can to get the right to left force to be stronger. We put him in canter left and she had me leg yield him away from my outside leg (so half pass with no bend), keeping the roundness and not letting him get longer. She had me do haunches in to the left to narrow his base. She had me do leg yields to the right but with a little counter flexion like half pass. By the end of all of those exercises, he felt better to the left than he'd ever felt!

I need to fix my left hand but he's staying much more into the
bridle while up there. Still not where I exactly want him but we
are getting close!

Add Power Into Lateral Work
At the end, Tanya put me on a circle and we played with a little shoulder-in on it, occasionally touching him with the whip and spur lightly to get a response - TC needs to become more engaged and more dynamic when I ask him to. We have all the basics necessary to find that fancy trot in the lateral work (and generally), now we just need to finesse it. I was fairly tired from trying to sit the trot at this point, and I at one point said "I feel like I'm going to die... but I love this trot... so I guess I'll die happy"

We also looked at adding power in the leg yields. We tend to get too sideways in them, rather than sweeping forward and sideways. Part of this is that the horse was legit the worst at leg yielding for so long that I schooled them fairly steep. Part of this is just that he really slows down in the lateral work. No more!

She had me come into the leg yield and think more forward like almost a medium, sweeping over the ground, then add the sideways. Then from left to right, thinking about riding him straighter on the right rein while still really pushing him over the ground. What resulted was some really great leg yields! Though man we need to work on that right leg yield, adding more power made it painfully obvious that those forces are working against us. She gave us some great exercises for that so we'll be focusing on that this week leading up to the show.

Asking for a little forward in the trot (and trying not to fly off
the back of him)

It was such a great lesson. I feel much more confident in the direction we're heading than I did last time. It feels 100% like I'm developing a real live FEI horse. All of the little things feel so much more like preparation for the higher levels, not just the one we're at now. Every time I have a lesson with her (all two times) I walk away thinking that I have something really special on my hands with this horse, she seems to have fun teaching us!

I don't know when our next lessons will be since she picks dates by the month. I'm really hoping to get two more lessons in June but hey, we're mobile! I can always haul to her (though she's kind of far so it's easier to just do lessons here). I can't wait to see what a year's worth of twice a month lessons does to both my riding and especially TC's development!

Upright Spinal Processes

I had two really amazing rides on TC this last weekend. We're working hard on the stuff I learned from Alexis and Kate recently, as well as making sure that all of our First level stuff is set for what will hopefully be our first shows this month.

He's like "please just put me away"

One thing that I didn't mention about Kate coming to visit is that she rode TC. She ended up riding him on a day that was NOT a good day to ride him. TC is generally really a good boy, but there are days where he can be rather unrideable. It's usually when stuff is going on around him that he wants to look at/spook at and he gets himself all in a tither and just can't be with you right now. Kate rode him beautifully through it, I told her when I got on that she better keep a lid on him or she'd be getting run away with. Then I kinda just left her to her own devices and talked to Nicole. Poor Kate. But she is one of our stickiest friends so...

Aside from riding him through some shit, Kate said some words that really resonated with me. She said that TC's spinal processes were almost always pointed right.

This is 110% caused by my right thigh not being on my horse for however many weeks/months/years/forever. I've made lots of room for his spine to be tilted to the right. This really clarified a few things for me:

1) TC feels way more balanced to the left but is harder to get a feeling of throughness on
2) TC's left circle feels more balanced but his right one is easier to get smaller
3) TC's right lead feels like it's on the forehand more often than the left

It also makes sense as to why I have so much practice pulling my right leg up, his body just disappears below it so it feels like I have to reach up to put my leg on, which takes my thigh off even more, making him lean more. Dressage is fun.

I still think he looks so awkward, but at least he's getting a neck
and a booty!

That, and Kate's assertion that I need to stop pulling on the left rein, made a huge difference moving forward. I feel like I can actually ride him to the left. I still super want to pull on the left rein but I'm resisting it pretty well I think.

Since fixing this issue and really drilling the canter work, TC has been feeling great. Both Saturday and Sunday we tackled some of the stuff from First level, including leg yields, lengthenings, and stretchy trot.

After our wander around the field on both days, we played around with some trot work in warm up. I'm mostly doing circles and changing directions in trot to help myself notice the spinal processes and to get him loosened up and stretching into contact. It's really apparent when changing directions where the spinal processes are pointed, and I'm trying to keep them upright. Having something like that to think about gets my right thigh on him a bit better than just thinking about putting it on. Feeling the difference in his balance is really motivating.

The circles have been something that I've been neglecting. It gets easy to ride on a bunch of straight lines in the big arena amidst all the jumps, so I've started using certain areas where there isn't a ton of room to try to fit circles in. We start with big ones and then work our way down toward 10 meters. At 1-1 and 1-2, we don't really need the full circles at that size, but 1-3 has one in each direction. He can do them, but it's hard to compress the trot enough without losing cadence or energy. So we work our way down and I try to focus on continuing to kneel into the trot so he maintains energy and cadence in the smaller steps.

After those circles, we usually canter. I've been forcing myself to do the lengthened canter a bit more, so after a few 15 meter circles, we played with it. In talking with Alexis, she noted that if the horse was going to act up in the canter lengthening because they were a dork like mine, she didn't really ride them. Going away from the judge, they can't really see the difference between no lengthening and a conservative lengthening, so they will often just throw you a 6-7 score and say "needs more" or something. I'm not one for half assing it, but I'm going to keep that in my back pocket.

The lengthenings aren't bad, actually. We can really push for a lot in the big arena without having to worry about it as much as in a smaller arena. He's playing less in it and we haven't had our patented turn-lengthening-into-bolt maneuver in a long while. He's also not the worst at coming back from it, maybe due to all the times I had to slow him down when he has done such antics.


After the canter work, it was time for trot lengthenings. I really wish I had mirrors, because it feels really good but this horse often feels good and looks terrible in things like this. I focused as much as I could to maintain a bit of carrying in the hind legs, since his tendency is to push his hind legs out behind him and fling his knees up to hold his balance. The connection felt good, so I think we avoided that.

My own tendency in the lengthenings is to let go of my thigh and pick my legs up a bit too much. I think this is left over from Rico and also that TC is still green in them so he still thinks "oh, faster? Cool!" rather than understanding that the lengthenings are a thing we do. I can't quite plop him into it yet. It's like when he was learning leg yield and it was just kind of a drift, vs now he confidently leg yields over.  That just takes time, so we're going to be doing a lot of lengthenings!

Leaning on my right thigh, well, where my right thigh would
be if I put it on

I threw in some leg yields amidst the trot lengthenings too. The leg yields feel pretty good these days, I absolutely drilled the lateral work at my old barn with the mirrors, so I think we're staying pretty straight in them. TC is also pretty good about steepening the leg yields or making them more shallow. If I have a complaint about them, it's that they still tend to lose cadence in them. I really need to do some long leg yields in posting trot and kind of hassle him over a bit.

He's quite good at the zig zag from 1-3, though I need to get in a court to see how I'm actually doing with the geometry of that movement. For some reason there's not much issue for him to be leg yielding one way and for me to just swap the other direction. He even does half pass zig zags in trot no problem. I really hope this bodes well for the upper level canter half pass zig zags, though I've found that those can be more dependent on the quality of the change than the quality of the trot zig zag... we'll see.

Overall, some super nice work out of this young horse. He's figuring out all the First level stuff nicely, and is even schooling a bit of Second (walk to canters when he breaks and I'm annoyed; canter to walks when he's quite balanced, walk pirouettes, counter canter, shoulder-in, and haunches-in). And we're of course continuing to school all the basics, lots of transitions (esp trot to canter, we gotta make those perfect) and figures.

Happy pony

I have HUGE NEWS. Well, for me. I am taking my first lesson on TC this Monday evening! There was an opening in a local clinic with a trainer I've been wanting to ride with and they were going to have to cancel it without another rider. I offered but said I had no way of getting to the facility so she offered to come to me! Barn owner agreed and said that we could write it on the board to get other people interested too. I'm really hoping this becomes a thing that we do, since one of the few downsides in my barn is that it's not infested with dressage trainers.

Tackling Rideability

This weekend I had a ton of stuff on my to do list. And I got almost all of it done! On my list was certainly to ride TC, and we had a couple of really great rides.

Friday's ride was... exciting. Like I said last week, TC isn't a fan of the rain, so he gets a bit tense and zippy in it. He also gets tight when he's not been out for a day, and when he's tight like that, he bucks a bit. I think it's honestly that he's trying to loosen up, which he needs to find a better way to do, but it's not him being bad.

So Friday it was raining and he was bucky, so we did a lot of that and a little bit bugged the other riders in the arena. It's not worth talking about, since Saturday's ride was so phenomenal!

I made him take selfies and this one is so silly

We started in walk and really focused on getting him stepping forward and into the bridle. He is really figuring out how to cover more ground at the walk, which is really nice to feel. He's always had a really good walk, but it's always been like he's walking through molasses. Saturday he perked up quite well and we rode some leg yields and shoulder-in within the walk, before playing a little bit with the turns on the haunches.

Despite wanting to do them very slowly, he's got the mechanic down at this point. There is no stepping out and there is only sticking if I accidentally turn him too tight. All but one was great on Saturday though, and I started to get fussier about making sure that he's still reaching for the bridle, getting him a little quicker behind, and adding a titch more bend to it all to prepare for turning them into real pirouettes.

The trot is always great from the start when I take my time doing a nice long walk warm up with a lot of lateral work, and sure enough on Saturday, it was pretty good from the start. We started with some figures, working on getting him reaching to the bridle and stepping off of my aids. He's been super in the bridle lately, and my goal now with the connection is to continue to make it a bit more robust and continue to build strength within it so that he doesn't ever feel like he needs to retract his neck to regain balance. So that's a good thing to work on in warm up.

Trying to get as much ranch wandering in as possible before it
starts raining again

We rode some leg yields in warm up and they were great! He still steps off my left leg a thousand times better than he steps off my right. Kate had the opposite experience, so I'm wondering if something is going on in my position that is making it hard for him to step off the right leg for me. So that will be a good question for whoever future trainer is when I can finally grab a lesson. We worked on continuing to improve the cross over in the leg yield left and keep him a bit more upright on the outside in the leg yield right. He stayed really well out to both reins in each leg yield, which is great, since he tends to either not connect to the right rein (when LYing left) or busts through it (when LYing right).

The sitting trot is for sure coming along and I'm so happy with where it's at. I know I still have a bit of the Pac Man abdomen going on but my backline is ON and it's getting stronger. I find that focusing on getting the backline turned on as it passes over my butt is really helpful. For the most part, it wants to stop at my mid thigh, so focusing on inching it further has helped a lot. His trot isn't feeling too bouncy anymore, but I know it is because I'm sore quite literally every single day I ride him.

From there we did our canter work. I'm starting to tackle the rideability in the canter quite a bit more and Saturday was no exception. The throughness at the canter is finally coming along okay. Still not at the level of trot/at the level I want it to be at, but he's actually really coming over his back a lot of the time. Until, that is, we have to go in a straight line. To the right, it's not bad at all and I can usually get him going totally straight into the mirror. To the left, he really struggles to keep the right side of his body up. He legitimately feels like he's going to fall over it.

He's not a fan of selfies

To fix this, I did some shallow loops. To the right, they were really great. He's super rideable in them, doesn't threaten to change, I can actually ride the canter instead of feeling like I have to hold it all together. To the left, it's really hard to get him to make the turn at the top of it. He'll come off the rail fine, but then when we go to turn back, he feels like he has to lean hard right to get back. It looks fine in the mirror, but the feeling isn't great and the throughness goes away. The exercise for sure exacerbated what I was feeling on the straight line. It's honestly all about the right rein, remember in the leg yield how he either falls away from it or through it? There's no INTO it involved. So I redoubled my efforts to ride him INTO the right rein as I came around the corner and we had a much smoother movement.

Still though, that shit is hard! To end, we came back to trot and played a bit with transitions within the gait. I really need to get my shit together with the mediums in trot and canter. I feel like I can't ride them quite yet in canter because of that right rein business, but the trot is very ready to begin to develop it. The lengthening is fine, but it can get a bit unrideable, where it feels like I slingshot him across the diagonal and hope for the best. I mean, I rode them like that for many years on Rico, and I'm not too worried about First level, but beyond that, I want him a bit more rideable. So we started with just adding power to our collected trot and seeing what happened. He got real fancy and I let it out a bit until I couldn't sit it as easily, then brought it back.

At the end, we wandered around the ranch and he got lots of pets and cookies. He can be kind of a dingbat sometimes (see: all the rides last week in the rain), but I really am having a ton of fun with him at this stage. He finally feels super accessible and it's just a matter of improving the throughness and collection, and maintaining all of that good stuff through new movements.

Thanks, TC

The culprit

Unfortunately we couldn't replicate the ride on Sunday. I came out to the barn to ride and TC had blown up a leg. I really wish it hadn't been the suspensory leg, but it was. The swelling was further down than the suspensory, kind of in the middle of the leg, and only on the inside. It wasn't hot and it was squishy. There was a small cut right at the top of the swelling, and he was totally sound, so here's hoping that he was just dicking around and that his leg decided to go nuts over a small cut. It happened recently on the other leg too.

We did a lot of walking and then a short ride just to keep him sane. By the end, his leg looked much better, so I gave him a gram of bute and we'll see what his leg looks like today! Really hoping that it's nothing serious.

Lengthenings and Leg Yields

The first show of the season is coming up for TC and I. Our first rated show probably won't be for a little while, but we're going to go play at a schooling show in about three weeks. While we may stick to Training level for our first rated show to keep it safe, I definitely want to see how First level rides at the schooling show.

To be able to ride those tests though, we kind of need to look at movements. I haven't done much work on movements since early October when he was schooling some of the Second level stuff too. We kind of casually throw them in here and there, but most of my work since then has been on getting his connection and impulsion up to where it is now and I'm feeling like he's going around like a pretty solid First level horse now. We're even playing a touch with increased engagement and collection.

With good basics comes good movements, so I wasn't surprised to find out on this last week that the leg yields and lengthenings weren't too bad!

It was windy and cold on Thursday morning and
he was a huge dork about it

The trot lengthening is quite good, he definitely is covering quite a bit more ground than he has in the past, and his shoulders are looser than they've been in the past. I think in the future, he's going to have a really stunning extended trot, but at this point, I'm very aware of his old injury and his tendency to get super tight over his topline. With the topline tight, he'd be easy to teach to fling his legs. So with that in mind, I've been riding it at more like 80% of his capabilities and helping him figure out how to really take the bridle and push over his back a bit better as he covers more ground.

Thursday I decided to do the lengthenings sitting and that helped a LOT in keeping him over his back and into the bridle. We got some really amazing moments where those loose shoulders came up and out more like a medium. It was super cool! But his tendency is still to suck back and drop his back, so we have a lot of work to do until it gets really solid. Just gotta keep plugging away!

He's so cute sometimes

The leg yields are also coming along really nicely, though not as nicely as the shoulder-in, which is a bit annoying since we're still a while away from Second. At least when we get there, we'll have super solid lateral work. I think the reason why the leg yields are trickier are that they don't have the bend that the shoulder-in does to help him really come up and over his back. In the shoulder-in, it feels like his trot gets better and better with every step in the shoulder-in, which it should, like that's the point of these movements. But the leg yield doesn't. It's like I need to prepare to do it and then clean up the trot afterward rather than allowing it to improve his gaits. So he just needs more time in that.

Just like the lengthenings, the main issue (and forever the main issue with this horse) is getting him to stretch more into contact and remain loose in the back. Connection and impulsion. When TC can really press into the bridle in the leg yield, and really push from his hind legs to step over, I'm sure that we'll get to that same point in the leg yield that we are at in the shoulder-in. I think that the lack of bend in the leg yield is tricky for him since it's so easy for him to get stacked up in the straightness, it's similar to the struggle in the lengthening. But we can school the lengthening on the circle for a while, but the leg yield inherently is straight so doing leg yields on the circle won't help much. So we'll just take our time!

Destroying stuff as usual

The canter lengthening is funny. It's probably his best movement of the ones we're talking about today, but it's also the one most likely to lead to him leaping through the air, swapping leads, then running away with me. So I'm going SUPER slow with this movement with him. I have a feeling that we'll have "conservative" written on a lot of our tests until his emotional maturity catches up to his dressage training.

But just like the trot extension, I think his canter extension is going to be scary as fuck really powerful. He's less likely to get short in the neck and braced in the actual lengthening at the canter (vs the trot), but the downward transitions are tricky. As they always are when the horses are learning this movement. He very much thinks that trotting is a good answer, or stabbing his hind legs into the ground rather than flexing his hocks and his lumbar.

So obnoxious, he always does this and I think he
is going to yank his shoe off, ugh

I'm still working mostly on all the Mary stuff and on TC's connection. Just in the last three weeks since the clinic, everything feels so much better. My instability tracking left is getting much better and TC is really stepping up in that direction now that I'm giving him what he needs. There's still a lot to do, but I'm trying really hard and things are starting to feel more normal. I definitely want eyes on the ground soon and am on a waiting list for a clinic coming up, but mirrors and letting TC tell me when I've got it (or really don't) will have to do for another week or two!

So Many Transitions

On Saturday I did a bunch of chores and then headed to the barn for more chores. I cleaned all my tack, my boots, and brushed TC's huge tail out. It gets a bit neglected during the week because I don't have much time.

TC was very eager to get ridden and marched around the ranch happily until he spooked hard at someone dumping a wheelbarrow. He continued this spooky behavior for the rest of the day because he knows that I am a fragile person who needs to be saved from all sorts of scary things.  

I bought bandage liners from Peony and dressed
TC up like a fancy European horse. It did not work.

In the arena we started at the walk. Luckily for me, every lap around the arena is a brand new terrifying experience for TC, so he doesn't mind doing a hundred leg yields. He seems to be a bit like a gold fish that way. After having some trouble with the canter leg yields (again off the outside leg- a half pass with no bend), I took it down to walk and discovered that neither of us are currently feeling comfortable with the leg yield off the right leg. I'm struggling with where to sit and he's struggling because his rider can't figure out where to sit. Also I think he's a little tougher on that side in general. Bringing the right hind to the midline is tough because he disengages from the right rein, and that makes him crooked. He has to stay up to the right rein and cross over. This is really hard for him. 

After a LOT of leg yields at the walk and me finally figuring out how to get myself to sit correctly (imagining I'm doing half pass with no bend is really helpful, if I think leg yield I get all wonky), we went into trot. 

His trot felt really great. He's letting me put my leg on but isn't behind my leg. He reaches super well into contact now AND leg means that he takes more contact rather than just scrambles faster. He picks up the trot from the walk by stepping into the bridle (still working on a really good downward transition, he stays on the bit but it's not a *good* transition) and pressing into trot, versus having it start from him pulling himself into it. And most importantly, I can sit the SHIT out of the trot. Well, mostly. 

Walking around the ranch

For the trot work, I mostly just worked on the connection. I find that he's still in a place where the connection is still something that we both need to think about. He needs miles going along in this connection before I can easily add other elements (like lengthenings, leg yields, all the stuff I want to be doing in a couple of months at our first show... maybe we'll wait a bit longer) without risking the connection. I've been having some dedicated days to perfecting all the easy stuff and one or two days a week where we branch out and I push him for a bit more. 

Once as the connection felt solid, I decided to do a bunch of trot to canter transitions. These historically have not been good. His canter in general has not been good. Now the canter itself is good, so it's time to get the transitions under control. The main issue in the past has definitely been my inability to sit his trot. Well, I told myself in the fall that since we were done with Training (well, we might do one show), that I basically had to learn to sit his trot in the next year or he'd have to be for sale as a First level horse. I don't want to sell him because he's really turning into an amazing horse, so I have been working REALLY hard to sit his trot. And it's working!

Now that I can sit his trot before and after the canter, working on the transitions has been a lot easier. I can catch any issue that arises much faster, and like I mentioned in this post, it's not about me skating through the movement anymore. So on Saturday I really packed the pressure on myself to get my timing quicker and ride him more through during the transitions. 

Looking around after our ride

While working on the transitions, I sat the trot in between, and that really helped me discover a couple of minor things going on in the sitting trot (I'm sure there are other things too), like the fact that I'm chronically slightly behind. You can see this in my lower back getting a bit round. I need to get my front line forward. I thought about what Tracey used to say to other people (since I had a tendency to arch my lower back in the past), imagine there is a piece of glass in front of you and that you're pressing up to it. 

So I thought about that and TC's trot really did transform quite a bit. The transitions were much much easier as well. I know some of it is strength for him, but a good lot of it is me not being in the optimal place for him. I'm sure in the future he'll be strong enough where I could be hanging off the back of him and he'd do the transition just fine, but until then, I need to stay with him and out of his way. 

The canter itself was back to normal after the day before's bout of soreness. Kate and I talked a lot about his tendencies the other day and she suggested I try kinesio tape, so I ordered some from Amazon and will try to coerce her into putting it on him. We're thinking that he's got tight hamstrings and that this is the reason why he struggles to get his hind end under him. I've always thought he had issues in his lumbar area, but as a person with tight hamstrings who also has problems in the lumbar area, the two are for sure related. Tight hamstrings could explain why he doesn't want to step under and flex his lumbar. So we're thinking about putting the tape there. Though I'm open to just wrapping him completely in tape to see if it helps him. Might keep him cleaner too. 

Thinking about itching his face with his bridle
on but then stopping when I told him no!

Generally the ride felt SO good. He's really stepping up his game and I'm trying to as well. This winter has been a really good one so far for progress, which is funny because I definitely did not plan on doing this much dressage. So it goes. But I figure if he's good, he's good, and we'll keep pressing forward. If I start to have problems, we'll take a step back. No big deal. First show isn't until mid March (and that's up in the air with the job search) and it's a schooling show. First rated show could be at the end of March but I could also wait until June! All I want to do this year is get my First level Freestyle score. Maybe qualify for All Breeds. Other than that, we're just having fun. 

In the Dark

This last weekend was spent mostly talking about horses and watching videos about horses. Also eating a lot of food.

I've been thinking a lot about creating antifragility in TC's connection, something that Kate wrote about recently, and that coupled with the videos we watched on all sorts of different dressage theory made me VERY ready to go back and ride TC on Monday afternoon.

TC has been doing quite well back in work after I was sick. I'm finally feeling normal, though a muscle deep into my hip has been very tight on both sides. After sitting on Peony's foam roller and doing a bunch of exercises that Kate and L gave me, on Monday I felt totally back to normal.

I do like how green it all is in the winter

The ride happened late in the afternoon, and by the time we were done, it was dark. TC is not a fan of the dark. One of the best things I did for our relationship was to ride him in the mornings. It helps me because then I get enough sunlight to not feel crazy during the week, and it helps him because the night is dark and full of terrors. But sometimes we end up riding at night.

I was so determined to have a good ride though. TC was spooky walking around the ranch, but that's kind of par for the course in the winter when it's too muddy for him to run around in his paddock. He just sits there thinking about all the terrifying things the world has in it (I assume). But when we got into the arena at dusk and turned on the lights, he was on it. His walk felt amazing, it's been a long time to develop his walk because while it is a pretty high quality walk, he always walked very slowly. I've been on his case to pick up the pace for a while now because we're beginning to work on turns on the haunches and I need both energy and a bit of collection at the walk. We didn't have either for a long time.

I like that I've taken my time because he stays relaxed when I press on him a bit for a bigger walk. This horse was the king of jigging for a long time but now he really has a good idea of what I want. That plus the work in the connection and Monday night was immediately pretty dreamy.

Finally not so much mud that I can't wear my
super clean boots!

My main goal was to ride smaller circles, more transitions, and really focus on a couple of things that I remembered after watching a Charlotte Dujardin Masterclass video.

First, I want to add more energy to TC's trot in general. This has been really tricky to do because he can get really animated, but he is more likely to explode and more likely to get tight in his back/out behind with his hind legs. My main goals have been relaxation and suppleness with this horse to prepare him for impulsion. But impulsion also means increased energy. So I'm going to really push up against that line of positive tension.

Second, I wanted to "stay in the middle," which is definitely related to me wanting to tip off my right seatbone. I have been good about sitting down into it (shout out to TC who now refuses to turn left unless I'm plugged in) but I still feel like he isn't where I want him to be maneuverability-wise.

He is so dapper

Third, I wanted to try out an exercise Carl had her do- a leg yield at the canter. TC will move from the inside leg out at the canter all day long. I actually hate that exercise for him because he's the sort of horse who will just randomly run sideways around a turn or down the long side to get traction to buck or balk. So I'm not about a typical leg yield at the canter (from inside leg to outside rein). But Charlotte did it the other way- basically a half pass with counter flexion. And I do know that TC has never done that.

He's a good sport though, so after working on my sitting trot in the middle and adding more oomph to it, we went into canter and I asked him to leg yield off my outside leg.

To the right he's cool with it- this is typical of him, he's quite good at stepping off of my left leg. To the left, he was TERRIBLE at it. I haven't felt rigidity in this horse in a very long time and he immediately was like CANNOT GO THIS WAY NO PLS NO. He got very behind the bit like he used to and I tried to press him into the bridle again and he took off with me. We had to come back to trot and leg yield off of that leg from the rail to the centerline a few times before I went back into canter and kind of had to wrench him over once and then praise like I've never praised him before to convince him. He almost never says no, so it was kind of a shock!

It's just a tough movement for him, and really not one that I would expect a horse schooling First level to be able to do easily. But I'm glad I found that hole and we'll be filling it in slowly. It's good preparation for him for lateral work at the canter and will make him even stronger in the changes (because the second I put him into the left rein he changed instead of leg yielded, good pony!).

So many puddles, so many training opportunities 

I ended with some REALLY great trot work. I'm figuring out how to sit his trot, which like I've said before is the biggest trot I've ever sat in my life. It's becoming less bouncy, but it looked good in the mirrors so I'm hoping that this means that I'm actually sitting it better and getting used to it, vs killing the moment of suspension with bad riding. He certainly feels bouncy, it's just in a good way.

We played a bit forward and back, something I haven't been doing. He felt GREAT moving forward, didn't get too quick and didn't get flat or rigid in the contact. Just got more animated and covered more ground! Coming back was great too, though he did drop the poll sometimes. I'm riding him a few inches lower than I normally would because he's not the most fit right now and my focus is on throughness rather than creating an artificial uphill balance by pulling his face up. I can always bring his neck up, that's NOT a problem we have lol. But I don't want him to respond to collection aids by dropping the poll, so I sent him forward and this time kept my leg a bit more active. Perfect.

The horse is just a genius! We walked out after that, then went back to the cross ties and I put him away with just a little sweat under his girth. Phew, I was worried I had gotten carried away. It isn't cold at night right now but I do feel bad for him not being clipped this year. We kept it pretty short though.

I'm not terrible with my symmetry!
Except in the walk I guess

Overall he felt GREAT. I really want to get a lesson soon, though I'm having problems figuring out who I want to ride with and if having a lesson is even worth it this winter. I might wait until February because my entire lesson budget was eaten by the Mary Wanless clinic. Hopefully I'll get some great stuff to work on from her and then we can do a lesson next month! Until then, it's just more of the basics and *actually* enjoying my horse this winter, which is madness.

Creating Better Everything

On Saturday I once again stuffed TC in the trailer. We've now gone off the property seven times this year, at five distinct places. And I think I'm safe to say that TC has really figured this whole thing out. Academic Horse Training (oh man I think this is what it's called, it should really just be called The Horse Training Bible), the book Kate lent me this winter that I really want to steal own one day, says that because horses don't generalize well, it takes a lot of repetition with things like this. They use a water complex as an example- a horse needs to go to five different water complexes in order to really understand that yes you get in the water EVERY time, not just at this one complex.

So this trip, to the fifth distinct place we've gone to this year, was a big one. Would TC get out of the trailer and just lose it because he hadn't been there before? Or would he confirm the number five as a magic number?

Looks pretty magical

We got there and had about thirty minutes before my lesson, so I tacked him up and we wandered around in hand. And he was fine. He was spooky, because he's a spooky horse, but he never left. We walked in both arenas and then way down the road to the additional barn that they had built for stabling at shows. He really didn't like that barn, probably just because it was isolated and he hates it when it goes from light to dark or dark to light. He spooks a lot going in and out of covered areas. 

Tracey showed up and I opted to ride in the outdoor arena. It's bigger and the rafters in the covered are low. Not that TC has threatened to do any sort of acrobatics lately, but I still feel claustrophobic on him in arenas with low rafters. 

TC handled everything super well. He had to share the arena with another horse, and that horse left. He had to deal with horses being tacked up and untacked outside the ring, he had to deal with another instructor sitting in the judge's booth, he had to deal with the food cart being driven around. And he was fine. Like totally fine. Sometimes spooky, and we had one head-straight-up-what-the-fuck-is-that incident, but other than that, he just went to work. 

Ugh my gif maker isn't working so look, a screenshot. This one
shows him at the place where he's comfortable- a bit btv and closed
in his throatlatch, he needs to push out just a bit more. 

 And the work was SUPER good. I found myself feeling slightly bummed about our last lesson. Tracey tends to take things slow and I really don't want to push this horse like I had to push Rico. My goal with TC is the upper upper levels, I don't really care what we do in between now and Grand Prix with him. Some levels we'll breeze through, others we'll take our time with, it's not a big deal, and I'd honestly like to score well instead of well enough. But at the same time, the idea that we'd be doing Training level all year made me feel a little meh. I embraced it though, reshuffled my goals around, and for the last two weeks since that lesson, we've been working our ASSES off with the new concepts. 

This lesson had a lot of new information for us and I was excited to not get too much of the same instruction. At one point, Tracey said we were basically ready for First (okay she said ready to start First level work, but TC already does all the First level movements) except that TC's canter needs to be slightly more adjustable. She's incredibly picky (remember how she was really concerned about me going PSG on Rico and then we got a 65?) so I feel much better about the idea of being able to do First this year with a respectable score. 

He's really figuring out how to use the part of his neck right in
front of the withers. 

We started with the trot work. The main issue in the trot is that TC wants to carry himself behind the vertical. Tracey said she had this problem with her Grand Prix horse. TC feels great like that. He feels wobbly and hesitant when he's on the vertical. This isn't anyone's fault, it's just how he's built. He needs to learn to get his chest back and sit down, but also to reach forward out to the bridle. I felt like he was reaching, but he was still a little too round at the poll. So I was encouraged to get my hands out in front of me and uncurl him. 

It's hard because the connection actually feels much worse out there, and this is why I want to give my dad a huge shout out for being there and videoing my entire lesson. He fell off Riot recently and has a cast on his arm and some broken ribs, so my mom wanted him to get away from the ranch so he wouldn't work. I need help turning the trailer around at ASH so it all worked out! The video made all the difference to me and I can't tell you how many times I've watched it.

Bending left is his favorite

The trot got better and better as we rode and Tracey tweaked my position. The main issue is my unwillingness to realize that my horse is, you know, actually trained now. It kind of sneaks up on you. Like he goes on the bit and he bends in each direction and he leg yields and he does his transitions without inserting his ears up your nose mostly. But I tend to still want to get my hands a bit wide, which Tracey said act like draw reins. Wide hands don't get the horse to connect in the correct way, they just get the head down, which is fine on a young horse when they're first learning. But TC is an old pro at this dressage thing and I need to get my hands closer together so he can connect properly.

I also had an issue with my left side, which is a normal thing for me. I tended to fall back on my left thigh, meaning that I was riding too much off the back of my thigh on that side. I also had a bit of a twist, which was pointed out to me briefly last time I rode with her. As I go to sit, my left hand takes back slightly, then as I go to rise, I bring it forward. It's not super noticeable, I can't actually see it all too well in the video, but TC is quite a sensitive fellow in the bridle and it causes the slightest bit of a head wag every now and then.

Wide right hand, he can't connect to it when it's out there. And
hey maybe your super short backed horse doesn't need your leg
back there to bend, Megan. Man I miss the control I used to have
over my body when I was stronger!

After fixing us both- TC in the connection and me in my everything, we started to do some leg yields. The leg yields were primarily for getting him more even in the reins. TC isn't uneven in the reins, but he does tend to want to connect more to the left rein than to the right. Moving him off the left leg in a shallow leg yield got him to connect better to the right rein, which worked out really well. My job was to not take back on the left rein at all in that leg yield, as it brought him a little crooked and artificially connected him to the right. He had to step to the right rein from my leg, not from me just pulling him sideways and dumping him into it. 

Off the right leg was trickier. He wants to fall away from the contact on the right rein and not put his right hind under him, so my job was to keep him straight and almost counter bent and keep him up to the right rein. When we got it, it felt AMAZING, it felt like I've never felt a correct leg yield until now. But then I haven't been able to replicate it at home. Oh well.

After the first couple of leg yields each way, we did some fifteen meter trot circles at each end. That size circle is good for us- he's really comfortable on twenty meter circles, and ten meter circles are still kind of a crap shoot. I can get him around them and they look fine, but they aren't easy. So the fifteen meter circles are enough to really get him bending and coming around, but not so much that they're easy to fuck up.

So hard to get him to stay up to the right rein but bring his right
hind under him

To the right, he needed a lot of encouragement to get his right hind under him better. I tended to want to bring him around in the bridle and then stop before he really had to soften. Tracey urged me to a) keep more consistent contact on the rein to encourage him to do so too and b) to bring him slightly more bent than he is comfortable so that he really steps off the right leg and steps into the right rein. To the left, I just needed to allow more with my right hand so that he could take his right ear forward more in the connection. It's amazing having a horse who is so sensitive, one small movement like that completely transformed the way he was going. He is so cool.

This post is already getting long and we haven't even talked about the canter! So I'll go over that and my struggles with the sitting trot tomorrow. 

Mind Over Matter

One of the biggest things that has changed in the last week is my attitude toward this horse. I don't think it will last forever, but I'm feeling tentatively positive. I think he's a good horse with some behavior issues (like most horses have at one point or another) and that I just lack confidence about them, which, along with the suspensory and not living out for so long, has made them worse. 

I sat down with myself last week and basically told myself that either I turn into the rider that he needs me to be, or I sell him. So I contacted a trainer friend about him and then as you know, started playing with him last week to get him fit so that people could try him, and realized that he had calmed down a bit with the new living situation, boosting my confidence. 

I'm not silly enough to think that this is it, that he's fixed and that I'll feel confident on him forever, but I'm just trying to enjoy him for now. The more training I can put on him now when he's good, the better he'll land later on if I have to sell him. Or with more training and keeping my confidence up, I can keep him. I dunno, I'm not married to either idea. I just want to enjoy him if I am riding him. 

And part of enjoying him was taking a lesson on Monday morning, which sadly didn't end up being the magical fun dressage time that I had hoped it would, but was still somewhat useful. What I didn't realize is how picky I needed to be with instructors. It turns out that I've gotten even more obnoxious about how I like to be taught now that I have TC, versus Rico who was generally a solid citizen, and now that I'm not the rider I used to be. I thought it'd get easier if I wasn't as good and if my horse was at a lower level, but it's not. 

I LOVE riding outside, until it gets hot or I miss
the mirrors

I first need to say that my not-that-great lesson probably occurred because of how I introduced my horse. I wanted to be honest and admit to my fear problems and TC's history (and likely future) of bolting. Because when I teach a new student, I err on the side of treating them like they don't have fear issues and that the horse doesn't have behavioral issues until they let me know, which has lead to some tears on their part. I always tell people- PLEASE let me know anything I need to know, such as past issues, fear issues, soundness issues. So I'm pretty honest about these things with new instructors. 

But it can really paint the way you are perceived, and that's what happened this weekend. When I say things like "he does have a bolt in him and it does scare me, but he's doing much better and I'm actually not scared right now," some people are going to stop before the but and ignore the part where he's actually doing well right now and I'm not looking for a fix on something that he's not currently doing.

Add to that the horse's unfortunate reputation at my barn for being a nut, and horse people's general desire to gossip, and I had a lesson that probably was better suited for how he was going a few months ago when I was actively having bolting problems. He certainly still has it in him and I'm not stupid, I know he's going to do it again, but I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and trusting him a bit more. Riding defensively with him just makes him worse. Assuming he's going to bolt almost guarantees that he does it. 

And he was SO GOOD. Let me go over that first before I get back to complaining. We rode real early, which he's not used to (and the time change made it worse). It was cold and he hadn't had his breakfast, so he wasn't perfect, but he was so good. A little looky and I probably should have cantered earlier in the lesson since that wears him out a bit and he chills out. Oh well, hind sight and all that. 

His shoulder-in felt great, I kept up my work to get him more rideable in it as we went along. I need to be able to change the angle, the bend, the connection, the step, etc. He kind of clunks into it and stays put. That's great, because it means that he isn't wiggling about or resisting me, but it also means that as I get his gaits going better, he's going to stay the same in the lateral work. He'll be this fancy looking horse on the short side, then he'll dump into his smaller trot for the lateral work. I need rideability. 

I love this. I heard a noise and he was freaking out.
Apparently he got his tail stuck on my jacket button
and I found him like this

The leg yields are the same way, I want to get him just more rideable in them. I find it a bit harder in the leg yield to do that work, since in shoulder-in I don't lose the angle so much when I ask him to bend more, but the leg yield just isn't meant to have tons of bend. I think when we can do half pass, leg yield to half pass transitions will be our friend. 

The canter felt great. She had me ride more over the ground, which made me smile. I love that we've flipped on this issue. For so long it was us trying to get him to slow down, now he's too slow. His canter felt amazing when I pushed him forward, and he started to really oscillate his neck and use his back!! He's never wanted to use his back at the canter before. I can see this being a game changer for us. 

The trot got better and better as we rode. We played with adding more energy and he stepped right up and I got closer to his super fancy trot. I just love how he feels when he's so INTO the bridle and really lifting over his back. Makes me feel like passage is a half halt away, which it is absolutely not, but that's the trot I want.

Unfortunately the lesson wasn't as good as the horse. I was really hoping to be able to get into the nitty gritty details of the connection on the left side (I think it's a right rein problem and I want help fixing it, it's so similar to what Rico did so I know it's me) and gain some tools on how to improve the lateral work. It was more about how to deal with his bad behavior (that he wasn't doing). But I did take some good things away. 

She pointed out that I needed to make sure that he lowers his neck when I take back on the inside rein- this will help when he does go to bolt because his neck comes up when he does it. I also need to be quicker on the uptake when he does stick his head in the air- something I haven't been as quick about lately and I know that's a problem for the dressage too. He can get 1-2 steps in of WTF IS THAT before I manage to put him back where he needs to be. 

I was feeling okay about it because he was just looking, not bolting, but a) he can look with his head down and b) when he does start bolting again, I'll have more control. Not to say that he can't bolt with his chin on his chest, because that has happened. If horse wants to bolt, horse bolts. I'm working on turning that off or toning it down, rather than trying to prevent it physically, though that is important too.

Saturday, I can't wait to wear my nice boots :( 

Lateral work is also really important, and I got a nice lecture that by six, he should be better at it. I had to defend myself because he's not naturally talented at it, he's not been ridden consistently, and with soft tissue injuries, lateral work can be detrimental, so even when I could ride him this summer, we didn't start the lateral work until the fall. 

So yeah he should be further along for six if I've been riding him since he was three... but I started riding him at the end of his three year old year and he's actually not even six yet. So it's two years, with the first four months not doing any lateral work because he was too green, and then toss in another break for nine months for suspensory rehab. And this winter we had about 2-3 months where we were dicking around with our question mark rehab and trying not to get swept away by all the rain. 

But he still needs to be better at the lateral work. I guess I just need to harass him more. I didn't get any new tools for that, but it's not like I've never taught a horse lateral work before. I'll just keep plugging away. There was no mention of the quality of his lateral work (other than that it needed to be more prompt to my aid), so I'm hoping that means that it looked okay. 

I think he's over angled in the right shoulder in, and over bent left. And I think his leg yield right is steep enough but is crooked, while his left leg yield is more correct but less steep. But I guess it was fine enough. I do know that my pickiness levels can be a bit much sometimes.

After our ride over the weekend

The thing that I can't let go of, is that after talking about how he did have these tendencies, my instructor seemed nervous. And that freaks me out. I've worked with a lot of riders with fear, and the worst thing you can do to them is make them feel that they SHOULD be scared while they're riding. Either through tone of voice, or the words they use or the actions, everything needs to be soothing and no big deal. If it's seriously a dangerous situation, help me get to a point where I can get off and then tell me to get off and talk to me about it. Because if I get from an instructor that I should be scared, I get scared, then he gets scared, and then he's more likely to do the stuff that scares me, which is scary and I don't want it to happen. 

I was a bit worried about riding on Tuesday night. It was supposed to be warm, and I did my best to push those thoughts and some other family drama out of my head and just continue to enjoy my horse. Spoiler alert (since this post was intitially written to go out Monday), he was AMAZING, we test rode T3 and worked on lateral work and walk-trot transitions.

I really didn't want some of the language used in the lesson and the focus on the bolting to cause me to question riding right now. I've actually been enjoying this horse for the last week. It's been really fun. I know it's not forever. I know the bolting will come back or he'll scare me in some other way and I'll lose confidence. I know that there's a good chance (actually no chance, this is 100% true) he's way, WAY too much horse for me and that I should sell him. But being able to ride him right now has been fun. And I'd hate for one lesson to derail that. It's fine if he derails it by being an asshole. It's fine if I derail it by getting nervous again. But I don't want to let an outside source derail it. 

I think I might find an event trainer to ride with instead. I need someone who laughs off his behavior and makes me feel like it's no big deal. Stop telling me (however inadvertently) that my fear is justified, people!