Instability to the Left

Seven years ago I was working full time as an assistant trainer at an event barn. I was a bit of a crash dummy type, getting on everything and anything, in addition to teaching and holding down the fort when the main trainer was out and about. One day I got to the barn to ride a horse who I thought had been longed the day before. We had just had a big storm and the horses didn't get out for a few days. This horse was particularly obnoxious when not exercised, he had a really bad habit of rooting and bucking.

This one wouldn't know what being obnoxious is like, he is
always the most perfect

I hopped on him and headed up to the arena to ride. Things were going okay until he grabbed the bit and bucked HARD and twisted. I didn't come off, but something was VERY WRONG with my lower back. A shooting pain was sent down my right leg and I hopped off, took the reins off over the horse's head, and limped down to the barn to put the horse away.

Unfortunately I didn't have health insurance, but after a week, I still couldn't ride without being in pain so I went to the doctor. I refused to do any tests or physical therapy due to the expense, but was put on high dose NSAIDs and told to take time to rest. Instead of resting, I took the meds and rode through it. I didn't keep track of taking them very well, I just felt pain and took them. That was dumb, as one would expect.

Fast forward through a stomach ulcer which caused me to drop a ton of weight I didn't have to drop, which caused me to get weaker and weaker, which caused me to fall off into a fence and get a concussion, but I couldn't take a day off work because #horsetrainerlife and so I went to work the next day and almost fell off in the same way (in the same helmet because couldn't afford a new one, it's winter), which caused me to go home and sign up for classes again. Which got me my bachelor's degree and my master's and led to a job and my pony! So it wasn't all bad.

This isn't in my favorite part of the step but I love my position
here reflecting, somehow, all the Mary stuff I've been working on.
There's still so much to fix but it's coming along!

Sooo that was a long story, what was the point? Well, that SI injury still hasn't been dealt with. I occasionally have sciatica due to it, which chiropractic care helps with, but for the most part, my asymmetry has protected the joint. Riding doesn't hurt it, but I think if TC's bucks get twisty, I'll be singing a different tune.

The trainer putting the Mary clinic on is a physical therapist, so when I put the franklin ball under my heavy seat bone (the left side), which dropped my right seat bone, and felt a TON of pain, I went to talk to her about it. Without poking at me, she told me that it's likely that the ligaments on the left side of my SI joint are longer than the ligaments on the right side. The shorter ligaments draw my right hip up. She said I needed physical therapy and I needed it as soon as possible.

So I think that I will be prioritizing PT very soon, but for now it's a lot about dealing with my asymmetry without increasing the pain in my SI. Luckily, despite all the pain I am in when I work on it on the ground, I have not been in pain yet working on it undersaddle. I don't know why, but I'm not complaining. I haven't yet had any riding-induced SI pain and I haven't had any sciatica either. Fingers crossed it stays the same. For now, I think addressing my asymmetry undersaddle is hopefully the first steps in getting myself all sorted out.

You can see my asymmetry here a bit. Much tighter on the right
side than the left. 

The asymmetry is essentially that the right side of my body is shorter than the left side. My right thigh falls away from the block and gets loose. My right seat bone sucks up away from the saddle. My left leg gets heavy and tight against him, my right leg hooks around him and/or slides forward. When tracking left, I can't close the door on the right side of my body. When tracking right, I can't ride him off my right leg correctly so he often rides with his rib cage too much to the inside.

On the ground this is pretty apparent. At the clinic we did a partner exercise to examine our asymmetries and I'll try to explain it. Stand as if tracking to the right- right leg slightly ahead of left leg, feet shoulder width apart, a slight bend in the knee. Have someone about your height stand behind you and put their hands around your ribcage, up near where an underwire would be on a bra. Have them pull back on you and you resist. Then have them pull back on you down near your love handles, and on your hips. Repeat the same thing tracking left, right leg behind left leg with both knees bent.

And you can see it here too, though damn look at that pony's
uphill balance! But to me, I'm so much looser in my left oblique
than in my right, and so unstable tracking left.

For me, when tracking right I was pretty stable when Kate pulled against me. I forget exactly, but I think I was a titch weaker pulling against my love handle area, but mostly pretty stable. To the left, Kate nearly pulled me down. I got very unstable laterally, kept shuffling side to side trying to keep my balance. Mary wandered by and I immediately jumped on her (well, not ON her), asked her why WHY was I so unstable to the left. She did the same exercise with me and nearly threw me to the ground as well. But then noticed when her hands were on my waist that I engage my left oblique when traveling right but not when traveling left.

This is all due to that left side being longer and looser. If you think about my spine as a tent pole and the left and right sides of my body as strings holding up the tent pole up. My left string is long and loose, my right one is tight, holding the tent pole up. If I think about lengthening the right side to match the sides, I'll lose stability that the right string has in it. If you are looking to create stability in the tent pole, you tighten the loose side, not loosen the tight side.

 Switching to front and back lines, one of my strengths in the
canter is not tipping my shoulders back behind my hips in the
down swing, and not thinking that this time is a good one to
pull on the reins either. So he can really stay up through his
shoulders! Good pony.

Translating this undersaddle, it means that I need to tighten up that left oblique, plug my right seat bone in, snug in my right thigh, and think about shortening the space between my left armpit and my left hip bone.

It's been an absolute GAME CHANGER, this work. I never used to be able to sit the trot tracking left. I felt like it was all TC. He was weaker that way. He didn't want to come through on that side, on the right rein. He didn't want to keep his left hind under him. He gave me nowhere to sit. He was being a jerk. He was trying to get out of work.

Wait. That's not how horses... work.

Instead now that I'm hyper aware of what is going on, I realize that he doesn't feel bad that way, I feel bad that way. I feel unstable and loose in the tack. I don't keep my right side on him. I don't keep him in the middle of my body.

Trying to stay into my right hip and right thigh but man is
that super fucking hard!

And sure enough, when I really focus on this stuff, he's right there for me. The stability that I provide him allows him to come better through and more engaged because there's room there for him.

It's REALLY hard though, my rides make my brain hurt and my abs hurt every time. But the feeling that he gives me is so addicting that I just don't care. On Friday I exhausted myself to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out when I got off of him (must get in better shape...). I know that the more I put into it, the faster that this type of riding will feel like I'm doing nothing. So I'm on this shit.

New Trails and Old Routines

For Fourth of July, the family took a trail ride! There's a new trail facility not far from us and we decided to try it out. Rico was so so excited to not be left behind. I work or am not around most weekends so he often watches while Riot and Stretch get taken out and he is left behind. Poor pony.

Maybe if we had actually gotten some rain this year it'd be
less brown... 

I had him loose in the barn aisle while the other horses were being loaded (he goes in last because he's the biggest one). He suddenly realized that he was not being loaded and came charging out of the barn and bullied Riot into the trailer, following close behind him and trying to wedge himself into Riot's slot. I had to run after him and yank him back so we could close the divider and then let him in.

It's a small facility with one 4 mile loop. Rico was up for the whole thing but Stretch wasn't, so we ended up just walking out on one side of the loop for a while, then turning back and walking out on the other side of the loop before turning around and coming back. The trails are new so the footing was kind of loose. Rico tripped a few times but in general felt fine. He had a blast!

Some good views from the first climb

Sunday I woke up in pretty awful pain. My back hasn't been able to heal due to everyone being out of town- which means that my rides per week have more than tripled. In addition, Rico (who I ride maybe once a week on the trails) and TC (who I only ride for 30 minutes 3-4x/week and don't sit the trot) are easy on my back while the others aren't as easy.

I had two horses that I rode in the same day last week that both pulled on me a lot and my back has been getting steadily worse since then. I need it better by August because I'll be riding a lot of horses then as well. I wish people would take me on vacation rather than having me ride their horses while they are gone! Lots of ice, nsaids, and making attempts at reducing my rides to the bare minimum and only working on the canter/posting trot when I do ride.

He is so fun to trail ride

In addition (not done complaining), my inability to do crossfit is only going to make my back worse over time because I'll start to lose the core that stabilizes my back. At the moment, I can't do sit-ups/planks/anything other than walking really, way way too painful-- I am doing my PT exercises but those don't really build strength in the same way that really packs on muscle. I have almost no range of motion from L2 to my SI.

So I'm in a very precarious situation right now, the same one I was in and reason why I chose to leave this career a few years ago, where I have to choose between my health and staying afloat financially. Realities of being a horse trainer right there. I really hope it gets better soon. Or that I get a job soon... more resumes sent out this weekend.

Pity party over! I did still manage to ride TC on Sunday despite the pain.

His mane is out of control

I started with longeing in the chambon, which I'm hoping to keep up once a week. From last week to this week, he was MUCH more comfortable at the canter in the chambon. He just looks bold in the canter in a way that he hasn't ever looked before.

I got on him and my back wasn't having it, so we kept the ride short. He wasn't as forward or as connected as he has been in the last week, but we also haven't ridden at home in a week and, while he's much better relaxed, he is not as forward there. I had to get after him once or twice about being forward and then he maintained it pretty well, we also had to have some discussions via walk-trot transitions about the contact. He snapped back to normal pretty quickly but still struggled with bend to the left. The right felt amazing.

I totally want to hike up here

His canter felt pretty good under saddle. The right was much easier to steer than the other day and the left was probably about the same. In the small arena, he really struggles with the balance to the left at the canter. He leans in and scrambles in the corners sometimes. I think I need to school smaller figures in the big arenas to help him with that.

Since we had longed, I basically just stopped with just a quick walk-trot-canter. While he was eating, I brushed his tail and pulled a bit of his mane before he slammed me into the wall with his face trying to get me to stop. Ouch. He had also kneed me in the face earlier when I was leaning down to put rainmaker on his feet so I kind of just gave up trying to take care of him that day. He didn't mean either of them but I hate it when he reminds me that he isn't Rico!

So patriotic, this guy loves flags

Today I ride him again and hopefully we can get over to the neighbor's to have a nice forward ride. Remember when I hated riding there so much because he was a total dingbat? Progress.

Just a Flesh Wound

Yesterday I messed up my SI something good at crossfit because I'm dumb and my core isn't as strong these days because I'm not sitting a bouncy trot on a regular basis. My dumbness didn't stop me from trail riding Rico yesterday (with an ice pack in my camelback and tylenol in my body), which was amazing. I feel like the knight from Monty Python. It's just a flesh wound! Where is my horse! I'm fine! It's a scratch! Give me the pony!

He did get a little sore (me too), so he got some bute yesterday and today. He looked so tired this morning, but that's his fault because he insisted on powering up the biggest hill there and then refused to complete the loop, wanting to go further. We did about 5 miles (4.9 miles exactly). His normal trail rides are maybe 3 miles at the most, probably more like 2.5 miles.

Look at his porky butt dimples! This horse is not
the sexy Grand Prix horse he was six months ago. 

Today I woke up feeling very slightly better than yesterday so took that as a sign that horses cure back pain and medicated myself so I could ride TC.

He was once again harassing the camp horses by the fence when I got there. I stood and watched him for a while. There was a girl braiding one of the horses and TC would stick his face in between her face and the braids and just STARE at her. She kept pushing his nose away and he'd wait a few seconds, then do it again. Apparently he has also been trying to unbridle the horses. What am I signing myself up for? He is a terror!

I took him out and he got to watch 14 kids eat lunch in front of him. He's always so good to brush and tack up when there is entertainment. Today he didn't yank his feet out of my hands and he only tried walking off when I was putting his bridle on, meaning that his noseband was a bit looser than normal (which I paid for dearly later, he was a little strong).

I love trail riding him

All the kids were doing their horse show today so the main arena was taken up (we watched a little bit and it's hilarious watching tiny kids ride). I wasn't enthused about going next door though, because my back was so questionable. Ali came out on her western horse (the cutter who lives with TC) and suggested we go out to the field. TC hasn't been ridden out there in a bit because when I don't ride at home, I usually go to the neighbor's.

He was actually really excellent out there. It was just enough of a different place where he was forward but not so exciting that he was too tense. We worked at the trot, but with me feeling kind of blah and no shows coming up, I kind of just focused on big figures and keeping him on the bit. Nothing interesting. I wanted to do transitions but every transition I did resulted in a twinge down my left leg (HATE sciatica) so I kept those minimal.

Ever since my position revamp last week, the left side is getting better. Today I noticed that I wasn't leaning so far off of my right seatbone. This may be due to my SI joint being so shaky on the left side that I couldn't lean into it! Either way I'm taking it. Going left is still tricky, but he's figuring it out. He doesn't seem to ignore my left leg quite as much and bend is becoming less of a far off magical element of dressage.

It's so dry out there, but still pretty!

The canter was pretty good given what I've had recently, more of the same complaints from last time. He's not all that balanced, he gets a little fast, he struggles to maintain roundness, all that stuff. He's still doing better than he was before we played over those poles, but it feels like we're so far away from having a normal canter. I'm sure it's not, because whenever I see video of his canter it's always like "wow not bad" but I don't like the idea of things looking pretty but feeling shitty. So it's time to really tackle the canter.

I'm going to longe on Sunday for sure and work the canter in the chambon for the first time. Then Monday I'll canter him undersaddle again and see how much it helped. I am toying with the idea of trying side reins on the longe or draw reins undersaddle as well. I know that's sometimes a controversial thing (the draw reins, I don't think too many people get all huffy about side reins), but I don't care.

He does get backed off and short in the neck in the canter, but I'm pretty damn good with a pair of draw reins so I may try to see if I can get him to lengthen and lower his neck in them. But first chambon though, then side reins, THEN draw reins since obviously I'd rather not go there if I don't have to. To this date he's only ever had a chambon on him and only on the longe, I think I've done a pretty good job getting him started on the roundness without any real artificial aids to help me (except spurs!! So necessary).

I'm letting his mane grow out because I'm lazy

There were some cavallettis out there that we popped over a little bit and we trotted the logs too. He seems to like jumping a lot. I think next year I'll look into getting some jumping lessons again so that he can actually jump more than just poles on the ground and 12" logs. He seems to like the jumps, but I don't want to mess him up over fences. Plus he's so slow growing that I think another year will be good for him to make sure all those joints are solid. Ugh and his feet. But that's a post for another day.

Overall I was really pleased. Mostly that my back didn't completely break down after riding a bouncy unpredictable horse, but also that he was so good in an arena that wasn't our home arena. Baby steps!

Tomorrow I get to watch L kick ass at her show. This will be the first H/J show I've been at in a while so it should be a blast! I know this post is going out late but if anyone is going and wants my number too, email me (regentanzer at gmail) and I'll send it to you.

Then Sunday my brother and SIL are coming down for a lazy day after I longe/ride TC. Should be a nice relaxing weekend while my back heals up a bit. I'm going to try not to ride any horse but TC. Oh and my client's horse tomorrow. And probably another client's horse on Monday since she's gone this week. But that's it! Unless one of my favorite horses needs a school on Tuesday because he's been being a jerk in the left lead canter. But THAT is it.

Finally got into the shade about 4 miles in

Brace Yourself

Or myself.

I always talk about Rico's injuries and how obnoxious they were to deal with, but I have had my fair share of injuries that have taken us out of competition too. The worst one, and the one that haunts me to this day, is my back injury. And in order to deal with this injury while riding, I wear a back brace.

You can kind of see it under my jacket
(top hat worn before helmet uproar, not
making apologies for that)

I was seventeen and in my first year of riding dressage when my back first started to hurt. I thought it was normal for dressage riders.

Being an "equitation" rider as a kid with terrible trainers who would yell "arch your back" over and over had left me with a propensity to over-arch my already (biologically) over-arched lower back and fake it in the sitting trot.When I started eventing, I didn't have access to a good trainer who could teach me how to sit. I've always been a *pretty* rider (not always too effective though) so I looked relatively elegant in dressage tack so the trainer at the time thought that was great.

I started riding Larkin, a thoroughbred x percheron with a jackhammer trot. I moved up to first level (before the rule change so sitting was required) and sat the trot like I always had. Arched back, hovering a little over my thigh, and generally allowing the jarring trot to travel up my spine.

Thanks, you jerk! Actually Larkin was incredibly sweet

Soon I had two discs with very little cartilage, some remodeling of those two joints, and facet syndrome. This causes quite a lot of pain when re-injured, a small amount of chronic pain on a day-to-day basis, and occasional sciatica. I also learned later that I had/have ongoing ligament damage which makes my back even more unstable than it already was.

In addition, the x-rays revealed that my spine is naturally more arched and doesn't sit down into my pelvis as well as it should, leaving me with a very unstable spine and SI joint.

I deal with my back injury with regular exercise, which includes crossfit. Ever since starting crossfit a year ago, I've only had minor pain and no serious reinjuries. I've chosen not to wear a brace at CF because it is not my primary sport. The weights are also predictable. Your barbell isn't going to spook and accidentally wrench your back in the same way your horse might. So I've chosen to take a bit longer to get my back strong with lighter weights rather than use a brace to lift heavier. My back squat and deadlift are still miles less than what they should be, but my back is strong.

Back/butt not actually shaped like that... back brace

I also am careful about reinjury. The smallest thing can cause my SI joint to become inflamed. I've thrown out my back getting into my car, sleeping in the wrong position (or on a bad mattress), even bending over to get something. When it does hurt, I immediately take two days off of crossfit, ride less, and ice/foam roll. I may see the chiropractor, who I've been seeing for ten years now and who has helped me quite a bit.

Riding horses is obviously not the best thing to do for a back injury. I had to stop riding Larkin. I took time off to find a horse with a smoother trot, which ended up being Rico. Yes Rico wasn't so jackhammery but he was quite bouncy so... I also bought a back brace!

Found at Dressage Extensions, link above- FYI I wear a medium and I'm 5'6 ~125-130lbs. 

The black one hides nicely under my non-shad show jacket, and I typically wear it over a tank top but under a shirt when I'm riding daily. When I moved up to the FEI levels I got a white one (from a different website) to go under my shad but over my show clothes (damn things are itchy). That one is a little smoother than my black one so you can hardly see it from afar.

White back brace for shadbelly

The brace helps quite a bit! What it does is it forces me to engage my abs, which are strong but lazy (like Rico!), and it helps to keep my SI joint stable. I ride in it every single day, every single horse, except occasionally on trail rides or riding around bareback.

FYI, back braces are excellent holders for phones, the extra cord on headphones, and trainers' radios. Also checks for trainers, snacks on a trail ride, extra sugar cubes, and camera lens covers.

I used to try to wean myself off of it, but it is necessary if the horse bucks/kicks/twists/etc and I've been injured too many times when I've tried to stop wearing it. Not worth it!

Even at horse shows 

Even on adorable ponies who sometimes buck

Even on passaging horses

Especially on nutty baby horses

damn he's cute

Speaking of cute baby horses, we have our second show tomorrow morning! Wish us luck :) 

Working Through

Daylight savings! I definitely forgot about it and woke up at my normal time (6:30) thinking that it was 7:30 and that I had slept in. Not true, but it took me a couple hours to realize it. This is the first (and last) year that I don't really care as much about daylight savings as I used to care because I'm in this weird place in my life between careers where I'm no longer trying to smash lessons into the evening anymore because I'm not teaching as much and where I'm not yet having to ride in the evenings after work (I do plan on keeping future horse at a barn that has lights/covered arena, but it's still nice to ride in the daylight).

Speaking of this weird time in my life, I was thinking about how crazy the last week was with my new job that has suddenly added a bunch of hours to my day and realized that I have FIVE jobs right now. Insanity. Here they are:

Job #1: horse trainer/lesson giver/pony club person
- I teach and ride about 6-8 hours per week. I've really backed off my clients because teaching more clients may mean more money but it also doesn't help my resume

Job #2: statistics laboratory
- for three hours per week, I sit in the lab and help people with SPSS and refuse to do their homework for them

Job #3: graduate research assistant
- I'm helping with assessment for about 3-5 hours per week, we're assessing the bachelor's programs

Job #4: research assistant (new job)
- I'm helping with visualization of data, last week we did 21 hours, this week is 10. It will likely be 10-15 hours (this plus job #3 can't add up more than 20/week)

Job #5: graduate teaching assistant
- I graded papers last semester for an engineering class and this semester I'm doing it for a statistics class. It's about 5-8 hours for a week about 3 separate weeks out of the semester (when they have assignments). I might also get to do a guest lecture which is cool. I did one last semester for a graduate class teaching the students how to use R to run t-tests. This is a freshman stats class so it won't be as in depth.

Then on top of that, I have one class (3 hours of class a week) and my thesis (0 hours of thesis work each week....). I also ride TC and do crossfit 3x per week but that's just fun.

Speaking of TC. But this isn't TC, it can't be, this looks like a
second level horse during a medium trot, not a 3 year old who is
two months into dressage training, whaaat?

On Friday, I rode TC and he was excellent. He's really figuring out the chambon and I'm starting to reap the benefits undersaddle.

Today was essentially a continuation of the excellence that was Friday, and I have videos and therefore screenshots from today so I'll talk about today.

I usually longe him in the chambon, but today my mom offered to come by to take pictures so I just hopped on because she was in a hurry. Well, it turned out that doing video was much easier for her (since I didn't have to go get the camera and set it up, etc). I'm actually glad that we did video, now I have a solid idea of how he's going now, rather than just a bunch of stills. And I don't mind torturing people with screenshots! But first, here's the video:

I started off by trotting around and he was kind of an idiot. Then we cantered a bit, which was good, until he did a lead change. I'm so dumb.  He's so much like Rico that I then asked him to switch back and he did try (poor pony) but then landed HARD on his front feet and crunched my back. Ouch.

So now I'm in a bit of pain but I did manage to keep riding. However, this pain explains my questionable riding position with my back rounded.

He's so good

In general, he's looking SO much better than he feels, and he feels pretty good. His trot (as some of you guys have seen on instagram) is really coming along nicely. He's steering pretty well, although when I interrupt his roundness with steering, he sucks back in the bridle. You can see it a bit in the video. So trotting along on big, predictable figures means good connection and relaxation, but the second anything changes, not so great. Definitely something we can work on.

The canter was good, kind of speedy though. His canter is a tricky one- the bigger and faster he goes, the better the quality of canter is. He gets lateral when he has to go slow, but yeah I guess he's more controllable. But control, smantrol, give me quality! I feel like everyone else at the barn thinks that I'm nuts.

Come on though, the horse will eventually have a controllable canter, duh. Do I want a really high quality canter that may take longer to get under control, or do I want a shitty canter that I can control now. He's three years old. I'll take quality canter work over control. He's not doing anything bad, just getting fast.

Plus who cares about canter with a trot like this!

The canter does need work though... 

In the end (after all videos were taken), I worked on some figures. The larger area means that the figures don't stress him out as much and I can actually do things like spiraling in and out and lots of three-quarters of circles as we wiggle around. He definitely had to think about everything a lot. Not a ton of progress was made, but he did sit down a bit better and think about where we were going, which I think will really help in the future.

Overall, I'm quite pleased with him. He's pretty solidly round at the trot after he does his stupid baby shit in the beginning of every ride. His canter is forward and ground covering (especially the good way- left) and he's starting to at least try to go on the bit at the canter. The connection feels amazing and at least in trot (the gait that I use the chambon in for longeing- haven't cantered him in it yet), he is stretching more consistently forward and downward. Still not enough, but much better than before. The canter needs work in the connection department.

Not so reaching over the topline fancy pants cantering... 

Ugh someone give me a job so I can buy this pony sooner

I'm not super pleased with myself- baby horses are harder to keep position on than a Grand Prix horse and I've also not had a lesson since October. I need to drop my leg down and around, sit in the front of the seat of the saddle, and stop fucking posting with my hands what is that actual bullshit I don't do that EVER. Honestly, I think that showed up simply because my back was so painful while I was riding, that I was extra tense. So unless it doesn't go away, I'm going to just ice my back and chill out about my sudden post-y hands.

Less than a month until our tentative first show. We've got two outings plus at least another trail ride planned so hopefully we'll be prepared!

First outing is to this pretty place!

Who Cares?

I rode Rico this morning before the rain set in. He had two days off in a row so he was REALLY eager to do something. He was less eager when I put on the dressage saddle. Poor horse, he figured his awesome vacation was over. Which it kind of was since he now has a couple of lessons to teach next week and I wanted to get at least one school in on him before he had to do that. I also warned my clients that he might be lame-ish since the last couple of times I rode him he was *okay* but not great.

I got on him and immediately felt like something was missing... it was! My back brace! This was planned, I'm going to begin riding Rico without it and soon hopefully only break it out for the babies or particularly long/difficult rides where I may fatigue.

I've been working really hard with my weighted sit-ups for the past couple of months to get my core ready to ride without a brace and today it felt GREAT. I didn't feel any sort of weakness and I actually think my position was better than it has been in the past with the brace. I got some pictures (but they're way down my editing line so those will come out later) and I think they support my theory.

More show pictures! Forgive me if they're repeats, I don't keep track

Anyway, back to the horse! We walked down the road to the second set of cows and he was excited to be out (it was cold and windy). He was just as enthused to turn around, which seemed odd.

We went into the ring and I wasn't sure what to expect. He had been so uncomfortable at the show that I had really been second-guessing whether he'd be sound enough to even trail ride. After my rides earlier this week I had faith that he'd be okay for trail riding but questioned his use as a lesson horse. But today changed my thoughts.

Such a good pony

HE FELT SO AMAZING! He felt better than he felt at the show for sure, and even better than my last lesson. Mentally he was ON, a little spooky but very forward and easy to collect. Physically he was SUPER sound, only his normal rickety self for the first couple of minutes before the canter. His passage was excellent, piaffe was better than he's been EVER, his pirouettes kind of sucked but who cares.

That's right, WHO CARES?! My new mantra for riding him. He kind of fudged a few transitions and gave me the world's shittiest left pirouette because he wasn't on the bit or in front of my leg... I went to make a correction and then realized, who fucking cares? He'll never be shown at this level again, he'll never be even ridden that much at this level, certainly not by anyone else but me. So who gives a flying fuck if that one pirouette sucked?

He still does all the "easy" stuff that I need him to be good at to teach my students (the lateral work, lead changes, walk-canter and canter-walks, walk pirouettes, etc), but fuck the canter pirouettes and fuck it if his piaffe is moving forward and fuck it if his passage isn't even or elevated enough. Fuck it! Who cares?

The only thing I care about is that jacket and his tail

Rico was super on board with the who cares mantra. He only got corrected for being behind me or not on the bit.

Afterward we wandered a bit and then I went through a bunch of my stuff to set aside a bunch of it to donate to the local handicapped riding school (they love us haha).

His tail is so wild!

I was feeling like I hadn't ridden enough (since it had been two days off of riding for me and then a light-ish dressage school in comparison to what we're used to), so I took the weird gaited horse out.

I love calling him that. If you remember, my dad used to ride when he and my mom were younger and his horse (who lived to be 36) died a couple of years ago. My dad got bit by the riding bug again and my parents bought a horse this July. His name is Riot and he's our very first gaited horse- a Tennessee Walker. I've never ridden a gaited horse so he's teaching me almost as much as I'm teaching him.

I popped on him bareback and took him into the neighbor's pasture. He was great! We did a bunch of running walk all over the pasture and then went up the big hill. He's such a good guy, and kind of hot so he's good for my seat.

Setting up for our first half pass

Rico tentatively teaches his first lesson on Tuesday depending on the footing and how scheduling works out. I'm going to try to get him out one more time between now and then. I'm really excited to see how my kids do on him, the one coming Tuesday has been working SUPER hard recently for not too much reward (difficult young horse) so I'm excited to get her doing some cool stuff.

Fantastic Pirouettes

This morning I woke up in a lot of pain because I had tried to push myself up in the middle of the night without thinking and had hyperextended my back. It felt kind of twinge-y all day in a spot that hasn't hurt me in a long long time.

About 8 years ago, my back was seriously injured by a certain brown horse at his first show at First level. A water truck came into the arena and this horse chucked me up into the air and then generously caught me on his back. Unfortunately my back was arched at the time and when I landed, a disc in my back slipped. Obviously it was very painful, but it also gave me a weird twinge in the joint, like it was unstable.

"I would NEVER do that"

I took a couple weeks off of riding, pledged never to ride without my back brace again, and managed to get through half of Junior Championships before being forced off my horse for 6 months that winter. Ugh. Luckily, it hasn't hurt me since. My other injury (facets in L4, L5, S1) have certainly hurt, but not this weird disc thing.

Until now!

That being said, tonight I had a lesson with Tracey and it was great! I tried to sit the trot during warm up and my back wasn't having it. I went into canter and it felt okay so we worked primarily at walk and canter.

We started with some walk-halt and halt-walk transitions. One of the most wonderful and most frustrating parts about lessons with Tracey is her amazing ability to make any exercise, big or small, rather difficult. By the time I got to Prix St George, I'd have thought I knew how to halt. Turns out, nope. Rico tends to *stop* which is very different from a *halt* which I didn't really know. When I ask for halt, Rico stops his legs. They just stop moving. Evidently this doesn't count as a halt.

We worked on keeping him up to the bridle and over his back in the walk, then insisted that he complete the halt with all 4 legs, not just one and then the rest cement into the ground. By the end, I really felt a big difference!

After that, we did a bit of work in the quality of the canter before moving on to a great canter pirouette exercise.

Rico has been getting MUCH better at his pirouettes lately. But it still feels like I aid for it, then I hold on, he does the pirouette, then I regain control. So from the outside, they're looking better! But from where I'm sitting, I still don't have much control over what happens inside them.

Zero control but nice sitting on
Rico's part!

Tracey had me establish a good connection on a 20 meter circle, then had me maintain the connection, length in the neck, bend, energy, and collection as I went to a 10 meter circle. This alone was hard! Rico wanted to get short in the neck, lose the energy, collect too much, and become hollow in his neck and back. We did a lot of just cantering on a 10 meter circle allowing me to gain more influence over these requirements.

After that, she had me put him in haunches-in on the 10 meter circle maintaining that long list of requirements. To the left, Rico was able to figure it out pretty well! To the right, we both struggled but by the end were able to get something resembling a working pirouette.


I was really pleased with the exercise because it felt like I had a lot more influence over the connection, bend, energy, and collection in a way that I hadn't before. Like during a pirouette I could actually make a correction and that correction would go through without making the pirouette worse.

This made me feel like we were making some real progress!