Riding Out My Own Consequences

This week was kind of a bust when it came to riding except for today (Thursday). We had a great ride last Friday with some flying changes. Then Saturday I rode late so he was kind of questionable, just a bit too zippy to get good work out of him. He had Sunday off and then Monday morning I got to the barn and his right leg looked weird to me. Instead of getting on him, I just long lined him, where he looked sound but it wasn't a ton of work for him. By the end of the session, the leg looked normal, so I chocked it up to me being overly protective of that leg.

Nosebandless wandering

My plan was to do a good rides Tuesday through Thursday because of my Friday lesson. Tuesday went well but then that night I stayed up way too late so Wednesday he had a hand walk. By this morning he was NUTS after 3/4 of the last days being really light. He quietly walked around the ranch, quietly worked for a little bit, then suddenly got something up his ass and had to be cantered around and around and around. The good news is that he kept doing changes, I guess. The bad news was everything was horrible. It legitimately felt like someone put the world's worst training ride on him.

He just got super buzzy and disconnected. I could see his knees coming up to his eyeballs as he trotted around like a cart horse, randomly leaping into canter and trying to take off/change leads. It's so miserable and as much as I appreciate him not being as bucky at this facility due to the low rafters, at least he's more rideable when he's bucky. A bronc session and he's got it out of his system and gets his ass in gear. When he get buzzy, he's not rideable until he's exhausted.

I can't blame him, he is NOT a horse who does well in a stall and paddock (he has a 12x36 space right now, which is super nice, but not big enough for him, he'll move outside in April) nor is he a horse who does well with time off. I know these things about him, so I'm never mad at him when he's like this, more just mad at myself for not just setting my alarm to 6am and forcing myself out to the barn early enough to ride before the drag so I'm not squeezing in a 30 minute ride after the drag.

Thursday morning

Tomorrow I do have a lesson and I'm fairly determined to go, even if it is kind of a shit show. We haven't had as much rain as the atmospheric river promised, and it isn't supposed to rain tomorrow, so I think that we have a lot of stuff on our side.

Even if he doesn't let us do anything more than canter around like maniacs, I want to talk to Tanya about the changes and this year's show season and I want to get him to another property so that hopefully the next time he's there he's better. It will be a good experience, even though it will probably annoy Tanya and be one of the more expensive "sit back, turn him in a circle" lessons I've ever had.

Goat friends

I do really want to crack down on my riding, it was way easier at my previous job when I a) lived at the barn, b) never had meetings, and c) didn't care enough about when I got in to give a fuck when riding ran late. The last couple of weeks have been crazy at work and a bit in my personal life, so riding has taken a backseat, which really sucks. But it's winter and as long as we just keep plugging away when we can, spring will be here and things will settle down on all fronts, hopefully.

Other than my lesson tomorrow, I'm hoping that the rain will hold off enough so I can comfortably audit the clinic on Saturday and teach/ride a bit this weekend. Rico hasn't been out in a week, but luckily he doesn't mind time off! He's way more fun than TC when he's had time off!

Festivals and Flying Change Discussions

I spent all of Saturday afternoon moving TC to a new stall (same barn) and putting up his fence. I didn't get to ride him until 6:30pm and he was a bit zippy but generally behaved. 

Sunday I stopped by the barn less than 12 hours later to say hi to TC before heading up to Sacramento! I taught a lesson, we grabbed brunch, and then headed up to Equus Fest. The draw to Equus Fest was trainer friend Alexis, who was doing a biomechanics demo there. 

Equus Fest was all about showcasing local horse people, so it was predictably more western-oriented, but it was still a really good time. We saw a lot of cool artwork (Peony even bought a painting of a polo pony that looked JUST like her own polo pony), watched some of the other demos, pet a lot of dogs, and wandered around the grounds looking at the booths. We found Alexis and chatted with her for a while before helping her set up for her demo. 

In other news, my noseband broke and TC's giant face was too
thick for my double noseband so we're sporting the western
dressage look until I can get it repaired.

She did an amazing job! As someone coming from a very dressage-oriented place, I was really impressed with how she broadened her talk about biomechanics to make sure that it was applicable to anyone who rides. After the demo, we helped her clean up her booth and put everything in her car and then talked before we all took off. 

Alexis and I chatted about my flying change vs counter canter debate and she recommended skipping Second level and putting on the flying change, then going Third when he was ready. Her reasoning was that from Third and on, you want the horse changing in the show ring, so why spend a whole year telling TC not to change in the show ring and then suddenly be like "just kidding, now you have to and it better be clean" and then not revisit the counter canter until 4-3, when he should have a very confirmed change and I can put the counter canter on then. 

Why? He was tearing off the fence with his teeth

She said that Second level is a necessity for riders, but not for horses. Of course the increased collection and all the lateral work and the walk pirouettes and the simple changes are VERY important to train. The horse should be able to do all of that while moving from First to Third, she wasn't telling me to slap a change on my First level horse and go do Third for funzies. She was telling me to train all the Second level work at home except the counter canter (sub the flying change for that). It makes some sense. I feel like the Third level tests are becoming exceptionally rideable aside from the extended trot. But that's a Megan's Abs problem and not a TC problem.  

I think I do want to do a few shows at Second just so his record doesn't look like I quickly dumped him to Third without training him (since he will be ideally going to an ammy one day) But I am also choosing to school the changes right now. TC gave me equally good (or bad, however you look at them) changes in each direction on the aids and mostly straight with no kicking or bucking or playing the other day. They were both consistently late in front, which I'm SO happy about, that is incredibly fixable. 

I'm not sure what will happen this year, I'd like to show both Second and Third but everything is up in the air. I do know that unless I can sit that extended trot, I am not showing Third level, so it's probably best to use this whole year to train the changes, then do Second in the later summer, then immediately go Third in the fall and next winter before tackling Fourth next year. I would like for my first lead change in the show ring to be in a schooling show though, I've seen enough shit to know that this will be our plan! 

Fixed fence (and new paddock that is slightly bigger

She also told me to come up to take another lesson from her and be eyes on the ground for her as well. I gave her my most skeptical look and then realized in the car that she meant to help her with some of the movements in a more second-toolkit way vs helping her with her biomechanics. So yes, we'll be arranging that soon. 

I'm looking forward to pinning her down and making her watch a video of TC so she can chat with me about him too. I'd like to get her or Tanya on him at some point this year to get an educated butt on him as well. 

It was SUCH a fun day with some of my favorite people. We headed home and I drove back to the bay that night wishing that I lived up there and not just because of the long drive. But Monday at work reminded me why I came back. I feel very split between the two areas in a way I didn't expect when I moved back here. For right now though, I'm happy: I have a lesson with Tanya on Friday! 

Looking Upward

Work has been INSANE this week. INSANE. I am not used to my job, which is a cushy public sector job with no stress, being stressful! I felt bad for anyone I had to interact with this week, including my coworkers who are in it with me. On Wednesday I drank too much coffee and didn't eat enough and was like... yelling and writing stuff on the board like some crazy conspiracy theorist.

Unfortunately with work, I haven't been able to ride much. I'm working from home today because I've literally been in like 5 hours worth of meetings every day all week and I finally was like "fuck this I am guaranteeing that I can ride my horse by not driving over the hill" so today I get to finally ride my horse again.

I wanna sit on it

After his adventure on Monday, where I was completely blown away by his half pass skills, he got a day off on Tuesday where all we did was hand walk around the ranch. Wednesday I did ride him, but only for about 15 minutes because the arena was being dragged and pushed my ride too late. I had a hard stop at 9am to get to work for a meeting at 10am (where I again had time to get coffee and then be crazy for the rest of the day). Same thing happened on Thursday, except that instead of trying to ride, I just turned him out in the square pen and then walked him around the ranch.

I feel horrible that he's stuck in this little stall and basically had three days in a row where he was out of his stall for only an hour or so. Things have changed at the barn, where I won't be able to put him in any other stall, so that's super unfortunate. I'm exploring other options but I'm super bummed to have to do that. I really do like it there but I can't leave TC in such a small spot with my work schedule.

Even so, I'm really excited about next week. I stayed up late last night fixing everything I could for work so today and next week should be way lighter. I'm downright refusing to have 10am meetings all week (except the one I have to go to on Wednesdays) so I am RIDING my horse. Including in a lesson with Tanya! We feel so rusty and so unfit, both of us, but I think it will be good for us.

I thought he had edema on his belly but it was his abs lol

With everything being so crazy, I haven't even thought about showing this year yet. I have options, though the counter canter vs flying change argument weighs on me a bit. If I want to, I could get the changes more solid now (especially because I'm thinking I might get to a barn with mirrors sooner than I thought) and push out our rated Second level debut OR I could front load the year at Second and then work on changes once I snag all the scores I need for All Breeds, which will take me four shows. 

Financially, I'm thinking of doing the changes first, since then I can push out showing. On the other hand, I am eager to be able to call TC my Second level horse, which I feel like I can't do just yet, even though he's now schooling all of Third. But I love doing the changes and getting them semi-solid before Second basically guarantees that we can end the year at Third. How crazy would that be?

Generally looking into the future, I'm really hoping for an entire year at PSG in 2021. Regionals is in Sacramento, which means that I could compete him in the open PSG for that. If he's competitive at that level, I might do a couple of CDIs on him if I can swing it financially (since they are expensive). After that, it's a push for the GP hopefully in 2023, using 2022 to do the small tour and then maybe even doing the large tour in 2024. Then he'd be for sale... but let's not think about that. Maybe he'll be supremely untalented at the FEI levels and will be worth so little that I just get to keep him forever!

His tail is kind of ridiculous, it's also very dirty

Honestly with how he was piaffing in the cross ties (when he was being a jerk), how he keeps offering me moments of passage (also when he's being frisky), how he just instantaneously has a very rideable canter half pass, and ridiculous ability in the pirouettes... I dunno I might have a CDI horse on my hands. But let's just focus on Second level for a bit. Uh and square halts, which still plague us.

Even More Traveling

On Monday, the last day of my four day weekend spent torturing TC, I tortured TC even more.

While TC has gotten way better about traveling, he is still kind of iffy. He mostly stays rideable in different places, but I want him to get off the trailer and be totally chill in new places. He is not.

So of course, in my weekend of dragging TC, kicking and screaming (quite literally), toward being a better horse, we had to go somewhere. As I've said, the ranch is the perfect place. I have control over a lot of elements, the footing is good, it's always vacant, it's fifteen minutes away, and there's no ring fee.

It also sometimes looks like a national park

After a combined eight and a half hours of pawing and rearing this weekend, TC was ready to be a good boy on Monday when I took him to the ranch. He unloaded downright relaxed and only pawed a bit while I tacked him up. I led him to the arena and while he was very disturbed by the garbage cans out for garbage day (something he almost never sees since I usually can only bring him over on the weekends), he was pretty good leading him around.

Then I got on and he would. not. walk. So I clicker trained him on walking a bit until he settled down. It didn't take too long to get him to take a breath in the walk. Then we had a very tense trot for a while until he settled down, and the same thing happened in canter.

But that was all it was, just tension. He didn't bolt or buck or anything truly bad, just got tense and strong. I'm so okay with that. That I can work with. And so we did!

The happiest little dog also lives there

I'm on a big half pass kick right now with him. He has such good lateral work, his leg yields ended the year with 8s last year. I want lateral work to not be an issue and I for sure have that damn GP zig zag in mind. The trot half passes are SO steep and the canter zig zag requires so much control. So I'm kind of poking at it right now to make sure that it's developing in that direction.

I haven't touched it at the canter very often. Just a few times last summer and it was bad. The thing about tense TC though, is that he is very rideable. I want him to be relaxed and rideable, but we sometimes get one or the other. There's a balance because his breed dictates that he's a very low tone horse and his buzzy mind indicates that he is a very high tone horse. He can swing wildly back and forth.

The sunset was really pretty that night

The rideability that comes out when he's tense is kind of fun though. So when I picked up the canter, I felt like I had every movement at my fingertips.

I kind of had a moment where I'm like "uhhh wtf do I do?" in the canter. The arena is a bit small for the counter canter patterns I want to ride on him, I don't want to school changes out of a tense canter (= tense small ugly changes), and the simple changes are fine in this canter. I realized that I should probably extend my half pass kick into the canter, so I went to ask for it.

And he just went over. Like he's been trained to do it. But he hasn't. I had a few ugly biomechanics moments, as I haven't retaught myself to do canter half pass in my new position, but it was quite good outside of me feeling kinda questionable. He's so damn fun.

She's so cute

We stopped for a while and I was going to let him be done, but then he screamed his face off and refused to walk again. So we went into canter again. I did a bunch of ten meter canter circles working on keeping him upright and then pushed him to ride a few voltes... and then a working pirouette. His right one is downright GOOD, especially once I address the corkscrew. His left one sucks. Hey, Rico started out that way too. Uh. Can't possibly be my issue finding his right edge and keeping my skewers right... yeah, definitely a coincidence.

The pirouette work was so so fun even though he's still very green in it. I feel like the minute I get a solid change on him, he'll be schooling PSG, which is WILD to me. I mean we just established that this horse makes a good attempt at pawing himself to death when left in the cross ties... he's also somehow casually approaching the levels where dressage becomes way more stressful than fun for me.

But for now, we are just going to keep plugging away at more basics. It seems to be paying off with his patience (it took less than an hour tied at the trailer before he rested a foot) and with his dressage work too! We see my trainer in a little less than a week, and this weekend we have some super fun adventures too.

WW: Tomfoolery in the Show Ring

This is the year I'm really hoping that TC calms at least one of his tits in the show ring. Here's a look back in time...

Mid 2018

End of 2017

Mid 2018

Mid 2018

Mid 2018

End of 2017

Mid 2018

Mid 2017 

Mid 2018

Early 2017

Mid 2018

End of 2017

End of 2017

Is this the year of minimal antics in the show ring??? I'm not holding my breath. And I'm for sure continuing to get all of our tests videoed and photographed because while they're not super fun to ride, his antics are hilarious to look back on. He's such a goof. 

Not Feeling His Age

During my four day weekend, I hopped on Rico of course. This time I was smart and put on the reactor panel saddle so my lower back didn't hate me so much.

All he wants to do is stare at stuff. He looks so young in this
picture :)

I'm kind of digging this saddle. It's not the right size for me and I think that if I were going to spend the money to actually buy one, I'd get one with a better rise for me in addition to a different seat size and block. It seems to fit Rico quite well, and the coolest part about the Reactor Panel saddles is that you can fit them to anything AND the even cooler part is that they can do remote fittings for $75 plus supplies. So they send you everything you need and then you get someone to basically do a live video (she has skype, facebook, whatsapp, anything really) and she walks you through the fitting. I'll be sure to post about that when it happens.

There's a large part of me thinking of switching over to these saddles when I finally save enough money to justify buying a new saddle (not holding my breath, remember how I just moved back to the bay area? lol). I love my custom but being able to adjust the fit myself (and for so little, I pay like $350 if my saddle needs its tree adjusted) sounds amazing.

It was such a pretty evening at the ranch

Anyway, after I tormented TC on Sunday, I headed over to the ranch to ride Rico. I brought my equisense (and TC's girth, which fits Rico better than Sunny's pony size girth) to keep track of what he's doing. He's really not doing a ton, but I do feel a difference in his abilities. Whether it's that he's actually getting fitter or that I'm just delusional, I don't care. He does look like he's putting on the tiniest bit of a topline again, his butt is just a bit rounder. I dunno. Maybe I really am delusional.

We started out with a walk down the road and he was AMPED. He kept wanting to prance and had his head straight up in my face. Then he'd stop dramatically and stare at a cow before snorting and prancing off again.

In the arena it was more of the same. He either wanted to zip off with me, yank me out of the tack, or stare at nothing. He didn't really want to do anything in between. I had to kind of poke him with the spurs and push him around a bit to get him to pay the fuck attention to what I was asking him to do, which was a riveting... trotting in circles.

The canter feels really good when he isn't trying to yank me out of the tack with his "bucking" behavior that he thinks is a good time. Like I've said, TC is a nice horse and everything, but Rico has like a 9 canter. This horse can fucking canter. Just his natural, under-muscled, arthritic canter is way better than TC's canter. He's definitely gaining strength in the canter and even gave me a lead change! His first change in a long time.

Seriously, I got basically no other pictures

The equisense, which I used on Sunday, thinks that he is sound, which is nice to see. It makes me low key question the equisense, but you know. He's feeling serviceably sound, and he does feel a little better every time I get him out. Either that or I'm just getting used to him feeling like crap. I'd like to think that as he gets stronger, he'll be able to support those arthritic joints a bit better, but we'll see.

Monday afternoon, I grabbed Kate, Riot, and Rico and we all went on a trail ride! Rico was feeling great, super sound and was offering piaffe and passage everywhere because he was a bit wild (for him). At the end I swapped with Kate so she could play with it too! I'm so glad he's doing well, lots more trail rides and arena rides in our future.

Riding the Extinction Curve

I talked a bit about TC's impatience last week. He's quite good on the ground when I'm paying attention to him or especially when I'm asking him to do stuff, he LOVES to do stuff. He wants to do all the stuff. But, when he has to be patient, especially when he's alone, especially when it's winter, he is NOT okay.

He likes the ponies in the pasture

Before anyone judges me, I have done my best with him. He's been a tricky horse for me and my number one priority with him has always been to get his ground manners (while being handled) and his riding manners very good. And I think I've mostly succeeded.

The hard part with patience is that we just don't get much time to work on it. I pretty much work 50-60 hour weeks, sometimes more, ideally more. Then on top of that is my commute, my gym habit, and the fact that I like sleeping a reasonable amount of hours every night. I get maybe one and a half to two hours at the barn each day. Weekdays it's before work and on the weekends it's in between my teaching schedule.

However, this weekend I have had FOUR DAYS where I had minimal activities. So I decided to really tackle this.

The issue with not having tons of time to dedicate to this is that TC has been rewarded for being bad in the cross ties. I tie him up and go get my stuff, where he paws until I get back. Pawing = me bringing tack and paying attention to him. Sometimes he will rear, but rearing always = me coming back with brushes and paying attention to him. In addition, I've tried to break him of these habits in the past and left him tied for an hour or two, where I've then had something to do so I've just put him away. Tantrum for two hours = me putting him away and thus paying attention to him.

He was okay when Flounder was there to keep
him company. He was not okay when Flounder
left without him lol

Friday

Friday morning I got to the barn and told Kate I was going to wait TC out, I was going to break him of this habit. She was wonderful in talking me through it, agreeing that horses are the worst, and telling me that I did good/giving me a hug after I finally broke him. Here is a recap:

10:30am: Tie TC up in the cross ties, he is immediately pawing
11:15am: Still pawing, some low key rearing
Noon: Still pawing and rearing and screaming, Kate's student brings us lunch and I eat it while explaining to the parent what I'm doing with him
1:15pm: TC begins rearing so high that his head is scraping the roof
2:35pm: TC charges the cross ties and pops one off. I tie him back up.
2:38pm: TC does it again, I put two un-break-away-able ties up there and brace for the worst
2:39pm: TC tries it again, nearly flips over, I chase him back in there and yell at him
2:45pm: TC seems to be scared to rear, good
3:00pm: TC paws halfheartedly but has way more moments of resting a foot and chewing, I get out the clicker and start clicking for foot resting
3:30pm: TC finally FINALLY gets to go back to his paddock

If you counted it, day one was FIVE HOURS of standing in the cross ties. I broke him though. But it was going to take more than just one day.

Later on Friday, around 4:30, I took TC out to the arena to work on some ground work and he was much better than he had been. I think five hours of throwing a tantrum tired him out!

Wandering around the ranch after riding

Saturday 

I decided I should probably ride TC first, so I hopped on him without a longe and we had a decent ride. The rafters are scaring me way less, so that's good! He was still so amped, but he was not bad undersaddle.

I put him back in his stall for about an hour to let him get a drink and chill a bit, then put him in the cross ties.

And... and... it was only 1.5 hours until he rested a foot! I threw him right into his stall just in time to run home, shower, teach a lesson, and get to a restaurant. I was only a couple minutes late, phew.


Sunday

Again I rode TC first. I get that he needs to chillax in the cross ties when he isn't tired from a ride, but I also want to ride my fucking horse. TC was way better undersaddle than he has been, just a spook and some tension here and there. Kate was teaching while I rode so we joined her group lesson and Kate even played her game of "can I move you" with me when TC quieted down. It was great to see how she challenges her riders to keep themselves secure in the tack (by pushing and pulling at them), definitely adding that to my teaching repertoire. I passed her test thanks to just generally being a high tone rider (which has its own set of issues).

Again I put TC in the cross ties after giving him some time in his paddock to get a drink and munch on some hay. He was way better in them, not as aggressive with his pawing or rearing. It only took about an hour to get one foot rested, but it took another hour to get him to actually take a breath and stay relaxed for a while. Without a deadline, I was able to wait until he got to that point.

He was a good boy for these walks

Today I have another day off, and we're switching it up! As much as I'd like to do this again, I also have the opportunity to take him over to my parents' place. The footing is great (I rode Rico in it on Sunday) and we haven't worn out our welcome just yet. At this point, travelling > patience training, so we're going over there again.

Hopefully it goes well! As much as TC has been driving me nuts, his patience training has made me more patient too. Horses can be trained and it just takes time. So I'm giving it time. And meanwhile I'll just work some overtime while he's tied up to stuff.

Flashback

On Sunday the rain let up for about half the day and I was able to go get on Rico! I didn't think that with all the rain, my parents' arena was going to hold up, so I hopped on him bareback. I walked by the arena and it looked good... so I went out there and, damn. That arena holds up! There was not a puddle in sight, the sand was just well saturated and some of it was making its way down to the creek.

Rico is a bit too wide OR a bit too bouncy. He's wide enough where he puts a little extra pressure on my hips and SI joint, and if he were super smooth, that would be fine. He's also bouncy enough where he puts a little extra pressure on my lower back, and if he were a bit narrower like TC, that would be fine. I figured whatever, Rico needs to do some cardio, I'll take one for the team.

Work it, Rico, sorry about your back, Megan

He was AMPED though, we walked down the road a bit and all he wanted to do is passage. He hasn't offered me any passage at all since I started riding him again. My main goal in riding him again isn't to get him in shape for dressage as much as it is to get him in shape for life (to just try to keep a little more muscle on him in his retirement) and for some trail riding this summer. But if he wants to passage, he can, so I took him in the arena and let him play a bit.

My back was bugging me immediately so I figured I should just canter him. But Rico thought that was a ridiculous idea and thought he'd rather buck. He can't really get much air, but he certainly can yank me onto his neck when I have no saddle.

He was pretty offended when I opted not to canter him anymore, he got all head shaking and prancy. Prancing is similar to piaffe, which Rico hasn't done since before his pigeon fever. It's a movement that requires a lot of collection, which, I mean he's certainly fitter than he was a month ago after being ridden like... five times by me, but in the same way that I'm closer to being a billionaire because whenever I ride Rico, I plug my car in for a little bit of time to save money on gas.

But hey, he seemed enthusiastic and he's the sort of horse who isn't going to offer something like that without meaning it. So I asked and he did it! Kinda!

Slooowwwwly drawing him on the spot

It was yet another movement I wasn't sure I'd ever feel out of him ever again! I mean, again, we have to remember he's now 23 years old, had nearly died just two years ago, has arthritis up the wazoo, and not a lot of muscle on him. I don't usually ask him to do anything fancy when I ride him because of all of those things, but if he's game, I'm game.

He's doing so well and it's only February, I'm really hoping I can keep this at-least-once-a-week-hopefully-more riding schedule through the summer. It will get way easier when it's lighter later and I can come by after work on the days I don't do crossfit. He obviously is way low on my priority list with new clients starting soon, keeping TC going, keeping my fitness up, and my actual job lol, but I love how much time I've been able to spend with him lately!

Another Change of Scenery

I'm fairly certain that by now, TC is convinced that my purpose in life is to ruin his. Yesterday, we moved barns! I won't go into details as to why, but there were some things that weren't sitting well with me (including the fact that on Monday morning while I was riding this week, my car was "broken in to" by someone going to get my keys out of my trunk, opening the car, and rolling down all the windows... um, okay).

"I hate you" - TC

Anyway, I'm really excited about his new digs. For the next two days he's hanging out in a small-ish paddock, then he'll go into a comfy 12x12 stall and a 12x24 paddock with an overhang. Perfect timing as it's right as we get an atmospheric river dumping on us. Then March 1st (or after that if the rain doesn't let up) he will move to a giant 48x60' paddock outside!

This barn was on my list but I had ruled it out due to low rafters in the covered arena. My horse is 16.2h and has a big buck in him, I don't want to die. I know logically he probably can't get me close enough to them but I still feel really freaked out by them, but when the weather clears, I'll be able to ride outside so it won't be an issue. In the mean time, we can longe in the arena. So if I do think that he's feeling bucky, I can just long line him. A light month or two is not a big deal in the long run, and at least here my car won't get fucked with.

Grazing

TC is of course being a complete nitwit about moving. I long lined him yesterday and he was predictably stupid, then I put him in the cross ties for a few hours because he was annoying me and he reared and pawed and reared and pawed. I think I'm going to take this as an opportunity to work on his manners. It frustrates me so much that he's such a jerk sometimes. Generally while being handled he's good because I do really value ground manners, but the horse has no patience.

It's tough because I work full time plus have my second job, so I only get a small amount of time with him each day. If I'm paying attention to him, like brushing him or tacking him up or even just staring at him, he stands like a rock in the cross ties. Luckily this barn comes with an added bonus: Kate. So I'm hoping that I can pay her or one of her kids to take him out every afternoon that I'm not working from home (aka working from barn while tormenting my horse) and tie him up for an hour or two.

When you return from your ride to find... wtf

Unfortunately the stress doesn't stop with just the low rafters and my mannerless horse. I technically have a lesson this Friday with my trainer. I'm kind of thinking that I might hand it to someone else or try to take it on a different horse. Not that TC will be any better at home, I guess I should just buckle down and go. She only comes once a month and even just having 45 minutes to chat with her about planning this year out would be good. I dunno. So much change right now, I'm over it!

Twenty Three

Today my very muddy heart horse turns twenty three!! I managed to hop on him between storms on Sunday and wander around a bit, and I've been making sure to go see him at least twice a week to pick his feet (since he was very foot sore this fall/winter due to his feet being packed with mud). He's just the best and although the move back down to this area has been a little on the stressful side, he's been a shining light. So glad to see him way more often.

It's been 14 years since I bought him (January 8th, 2005), we're closing in on spending half my life together. He gave and continues to give me so much. This morning before work I'm going to give him a birthday cookie, and ride if it's not raining.

He looks SO feral these days, I'm going to at least trim his goat
beard soon... 

He's not the prettiest thing right now in the winter (uh see above), so here are some pictures looking back at all we've done together: 

Reluctant modeling 

Circus horse

Grand Prix

Being a spooky asshole

Bridleless jumping

So many trail rides

Applying Takeaways

Last week was a fun one focusing on a lot of the Mary stuff and pushing some more of TC's Second Level buttons. It was less than fun because I got sick on Monday midday just from pushing so hard over the Mary weekend. But it allowed me to set up a bunch of posts, so that was great.

Visiting Rico on Saturday, a rare moment of clearish skies
before it started raining again, ugh

The best takeaway for my riding from this clinic has been to get myself over onto TC's right edge and to get my chin over his crest rather than to the left of it. It's amazing how much easier it is to ride when you have both sides of the horse to deal with.

A few things have gotten way easier. On Tuesday we schooled counter canter and I felt like it wasn't as precarious as it has been. On Thursday, we had the best quality canter I'd felt in a very long time, without him having to go through being buzzy first. Sometimes if he goes way high tone, I can bring him down to this really brilliant canter, but it's hard to find when he starts out low tone. This was the first time where he started out super chill and I was able to find that magical canter.

Things are changing again with TC, more on that tomorrow, but I'm super pleased with the work I've gotten out of him when I have been able to ride.

So glad that I was home for two days, then was
immediately sick of me

I've also had fun teaching after the clinic, I find that my lessons aren't changing as much as they did last year, which is nice. I do have way more tools though. Asking riders to rank the things they're doing from 0 (not doing it at all) to 5 (doing it very well) has been super helpful. Like Mary said, making changes first requires noticing changes, so helping my riders notice those changes and especially when they very first start to lose it (5 goes to 4) has been great.

I'm also really on it when it comes to the things that I haven't struggled with (and therefore will struggle to teach). The big thing is seat bones. I can feel them all the time, but I was noticing that one of my riders was having problems gaining influence over the canter and struggling not to go to the reins. I asked her "can you feel your seat bones" and she said no. I told her to find them and screw them into the saddle and immediately the horse sat down and actually broke from canter. Rider, who has had issues controlling this horse's fabulous (yet enormous) canter was able to suddenly have a TON of influence.

Headed out to Monterey for work last weekend, I love the trees

Once again, such an amazing experience at the clinic with tons of takeaways both for my own riding and for my teaching. TC is feeling great and I can't wait to see my trainer again, my clients are all doing so well and I'm almost at capacity with my business (I just need to streamline it a bit more), and I'm still loving my job. At this point I just need to find a damn crossfit gym to go to. And there's been some barn stuff that I'm hoping is going to be resolved when this post goes out.

Mary Wanless Workshop: The Non Emotions

This year I had way less emotions about the clinic! It was still a lot. But instead of being kicked by Mary for 8 hours a day the whole time, Mary was just kind of kicking sand on the sandcastle I was building. Like yeah, I need that sand, but you could stop kicking at me real quick so I can organize all the sand you're kicking my way. Also some of it is getting into my eyes.

Disclaimer: Mary Wanless did not kick sand on my sandcastle.

I think there are a few reasons why I didn't have as many emotions as last year.

1) I knew what to expect

Having been through the clinic before, I knew roughly what was going down. I had been teaching it all year, riding like it all year, and thinking about it all year. Being prepared like that really helped me!

There were overlapping concepts during the clinic that I had already heard from last year, so I was able to take mental breaks like "I know this stuff, phew!"

Unfortunately this dog, or the sun, was not at the clinic this year

2) Riding during the clinic is bad

Every morning last year I would ride beforehand, which meant that I was thinking so so much about all these changes and trying to make them at 7am before getting in the car and driving to the clinic. As much as TC was a complete dingbat as I was trying to get my right edge on him on Monday, I'm glad that I had a horse-free weekend to just think about everything. The most life changing thing for my riding of TC was said at the end of the day on Sunday.


3) I had way more Mary-validation and way less non-Mary-validation

As I wrote about in a previous post this week, it's hard to sell to riders who have been successful already without good biomechanics and it's hard to see that Grand Prix isn't really where things end but rather where things begin. I went into the clinic feeling pretty good about how far I'd gotten, pretty confident in myself and my riding, I wanted to build upon what I already knew.

Instead, I got my house of cards flattened pretty much immediately, and then people kept stepping on them while I was trying to rebuild them. Instead of building upon my previous framework, I had my framework destroyed and rebuilt. I got to the end of the clinic feeling raw and remembering the beautiful house of cards I had built that sure, had some issues with large gusts of wind, but was generally very nice. Where it stood was now a sturdy foundation of concrete... but that was it.

Over the year, I built the house again, this time in a very different way. And this clinic was all about how to do some of the plumbing for a fancier bathroom rather than how to pour concrete.

I mean I'm not perfect but I am way better than I was

4) I have a way more learning-centric mindset now

I've mostly been the sort of person who wanted to learn more and more and who questioned tradition. I still remember very vividly back in 2009 when I was riding with my previous trainer, asking her to please break down what she meant by "rounder" and being told that I was a fourth level dressage rider and I should be able to put my horse on the bit.

I think I sometimes take for granted the community I am part of. My friends who I am always discussing theory, exercises, books, etc with. My instructors who participate in furthering their education, who don't write me off when I ask a "silly" question. Being able to learn and grow without worrying because everyone else is learning and growing too. I love it all. It kind of gets me in trouble (not on here) when I assume that everyone operates within this mindset, but I still love it (even if I need to keep my mouth shut more).

But I've not always felt free to admit that I am still learning, free to admit my faults. I love that I feel like I can stand here and shout "I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TONE AND FAULTY MOVEMENT PATTERNS" and not have anyone judge me. A rosebud is no different than a rose.


5) My friends were there

Having my friends (some of whom ride with me) there made a HUGE DIFFERENCE. Glancing over to see L's hilarious facial expressions, hearing Nicole laugh loudly when Mary said that you needed to find a lot of different places to put it (the information) in (to the rider), letting Jan know that we'd find her a fan at Walgreens when we were all picking up hand warmers, going to lunch and chatting merrily about horses, discussing the clinic in the evenings, even sitting in the hot tub in the rain... it was all so much fun.

I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have found all these people. I missed them immediately (but am actually heading up to see two of them today!). We are so supportive of one another, cheer when things go right without feeling resentful, are there for each other when things go wrong, even if it's just to text "fucking horses, they're the actual worst" to one another.

Spending a whole weekend with them learning and laughing was an absolute gift. I really hope that we spend even more time together in the coming years. I'm not letting any of them go ever. They're totally stuck with me.

And now we're all way closer to one another because we've felt each others' butts.

Gotta bring out this picture one more time! Love all these people

This year my emotions were all of hope. There were some realizations about my teaching that feel raw, but after winning reserve champion high score in the Open First Level for my chapter of our GMO, behind a rider who won... like basically everything else in addition... I feel excited at how raw I felt about certain things.

I'm already feeling bad for my clients... not that bad though.