Five Reasons TC Will & Won't Make a Good FEI Horse

If there's anything I like to do, it's to think about the future and get anxious excited about it. One of the main sources of anxiety and excitement is TC. I have a lot of general anxiety surrounding losing him- I worry that he's lame or sick all the time. But I also get really excited to thinka buot his future. He's coming along so well and sometimes I wonder how far we will go. 

So I put together this post. I have five pretty good reasons for why I think TC and I will canter down centerline at Prix St George at some point. And I have five equally good reasons for why I think that I'll continue to leave my shadbelly in my closet and not make it down the centerline with him at those levels. 

Would like to wear this coat again, thanks. I'd have to get back
to this level of fitness to fit my boobs in it though... so maybe
no thanks

Five Reasons Why TC Will Make a Good FEI Horse

Willingness to Work
TC loves to work and has a great work ethic that I intend to continue to foster as time goes on. The work is only going to get harder, but hopefully it doesn't spoil his attitude. Jeremy said that until you really start to put pressure on them, you can't guess at whether they'll make it all the way or not. Some of them take pressure better than others.

In the past, TC has proven to be a horse who can't handle pressure. As a young horse, he was cornered in a pasture by a person and they say he went right through the wooden fence. I think that he and I have a good relationship and I'm unwilling to cross that line with him. Whether going beyond that line is the only way to get to the FEI levels or not... I won't know. But I think that he is so much more tolerant of pressure now than he has been is a good sign.


Enjoyment in the Show Ring
TC doesn't get extra tense or nervous int he show ring. He does get tense and nervous in new places, but I expect that if my plans come to fruition this year, we will have less and less of those problems as time goes on. He visibly loves showing. He hasn't spooked at a judge's box in two years (now that I say that, he will at our next show). He gets this cute little look on his face where he pushes his ears really really far forward when he's done with his tests.

This enthusiasm is going to help once as he's chill about new places because I won't have to worry about him beign a different horse in the show ring vs the warm up. That's really helpful, if not required, to get to the FEI levels. It's hard to practice for something that only happesn at shows. So far he shows no resistance to doing his job int he show ring. Except all the celebratory leaping... which I hope we stop soon.

No thank you

Consistency

TC is a really consistent horse, he comes out every day basically the same. This is a new-ish development, since even last winter we still had a lot of days where most of our ride was dealing wtih his hatred of birds or rain, but as we come into summer, I pretty much know that the horse is giong to be really consistent. Well, until the rain comes back. Or until new birds move into our barn. 

I'm also a really consistent rider, I ride every day and riding always comes first. My priority is his training and not showing, so I don't tend to skip steps to get to the fun stuff or have any major goals that may cloud my judgement. If a trainer tells me to go back to walk-trot transitions for two months, I'm on it.


Good Movement
TC didn't hit the ground fancy but he does have quality gaits in that they are big and other than a lateral tendency at the canter, they are correct. He has not been told he shouldn't have a moment of suspension in the canter and I'm doing my best to learn to sit his trot and to not break it down.

In addition, I've been very careful to preserve the purity of the gaits and try my best to improve them. Enough so that I'm starting to get frustrated when people imply that training TC is much easier because he's so fancy. I was asked recently if he was imported. Yes, from a muddy pasture with no shelter in the south county. It's nice to know that the clunky three year old with the lateral canter isn't recognizable anymore. 


Good Basics
We're not going to have many of the problems that I had with Rico at the FEI levels simply because I had those problems and never want to have them again. TC is steady in the contact, never comes out and thinks that this is the day he doesn't have to go on the bit, he is forward from both legs and as even as I can get him in both reins. He doesn't lean on my hand or fishtail to get away from my leg or try to drop himself out from under me. The basics are there and they're solid. We dedicate probably 90% of the work we do to continuing to perfect the basics.

It took a long time to get him here

That's all well and good, but I think that it's worth addressing the other side of the coin...

Five Reasons Why TC Won't Make a Good FEI Horse

Previous Injury
TC's previous injury may come back to bite us at some point. Whether it's another freak thing or that the work gets to him, I don't know. The upper level movements aren't physically easy on a horse. With Rico, I was particularly worried about passage making his fetlock drop enough to piss off the injury. It didn't ultimately end up happening, but it was a minor concern of my vet's. I'm worried about the same thing with TC. We won't be working on passage for some time, it's something I like to put on more like Third/Fourth level. Hopefully by then TC will be strong enough to support his injury and we'll be several more years away from it all.

Horses are Fragile
Generally, TC could also have other issues that keep us away from the FEI levels. There are more horses with FEI potential than there are FEI horses and so much of that is just freak things. TC's original injury was an accident and it's not like... one and done. Something else could easily take us out of the running. I really hope not though.

Financial Limitations
I live in California and work in education, and while my new job pays better than my last, my budget is still limited, as all of ours are. In addition to not being made of money, I am woefully behind in retirement savings, so I am prioritizing that quite a lot. This means less money for lessons and shows. I really need lessons to help me bring him along, but I also need to show him enough to get the scores we need and to get him more exposure.

He needs more of this than I'm able to provide
at this point in my life

Time

TC is behind in his training. At seven years old, he should be eyeing Prix St George rather than Second level. But he was started at the end of his three year old year, he was quite physically and emotionally immature as a four year old and then at the end of his four year old year, eh was injured and off/on rehab for a full year, followed by behavioral problems. I'm hoping that we will stay above the curve and that his worth will not start to decrease with age faster than it will increase with experience. Because a 14 year old Grand Prix horse is super easy to sell, while a 14 year old Training horse, less so. But it may come time for me to decide between selling him at an ideal age and keeping him to continue up the levels. I will probably choose the latter, but it's worth acknowledging. 

In another interpretation, I work full time, which many riders do. I am happy with my work-life balance as it stands now, as I am not an exempt employee and so I work a pretty strict 8.5 hour day and nothing more. For now, at least the next six months, if not longer, I am going to be staying in an analyst position. However, I do have dreams of advancing my career, the next step being to get a director position. That is an exempt position at almost all schools, which means that my days will likely be longer and I will have to drop everything outside of work to make things happen at work when federal reporting is due and all that. We'll see how my riding availability works long term. 

Less Talent

TC is not as talented as Rico. Don't look at his big gaits and think "wow he's just going to find the FEI work so easy," since that's not the gaits, that's conformation. Smaller movers can be way easier to put many of the movements on. TC is not as well put together as Rico and we have a lot of limitations there. He finds it difficult to stay out to the bridle (though we have really got this drilled into him for this level), something that is crucial for pirouettes and passage. He finds it much more difficult to collect than Rico, something crucial for the FEI levels in general. His movement is larger, which is harder to contain and channel. And it also makes it harder for met o sit him too, which has been a huge setback in our training. He'd be further along if a lot of my rides weren't focused on me

I mean he's a really fucking talented individual

No one can predict the future, but I think we're as set up as we can be to reach our goals. And for the most part, we're just going to take things one day at a time and have fun while doing it! Which, going against everything in this post, is the most important part. I don't honestly care how far we make it as long as every day I have a grin on my face as I walk down to the barn.

Peeking at 1-3

I had a moment of panic at the beginning of this week looking at the show schedule and realizing that I needed to show 1-3 at the end of June. It's the end of April. I have two months.

There are other options, obviously, but this show has good judges that like TC, is only 20 minutes from where we live, and is a facility I need him to be chill about. We're showing 1-1 and 1-2 there in May hopefully, so he'll be used to it. Or he'll be nuts there then, I'll scratch the whole thing, and then I'll find another show facility to glom onto.

Um, we'll go with assuming that he'll be fine. My barn owner said the only issue some horses have there is that there are flags, so she offered to put up a whole bunch of flags right near the arena. One might assume that she is trying to murder me, but I thought that was really nice of her. As long as we can close all the gates...

TC got his shots on Tuesday so I took him for a walk and he
wanted to stand in the water and eat plants so that's what we did

I feel really confident about getting through First Level Tests 1 and 2. Test 1 we did last fall and although he was a total dingbat, we did get through it. Since then he's really improved so I'm not too worried about it. Test 2 is super friendly. There is a lot of downtime, which actually may not pay off with my wiggly basilisk of a show horse, but it's good anyway. I honestly expected that his first two years of showing wouldn't really be super impressive with my lower budget/lack of a trainer/spooky weirdo of a horse.

Test 3 in comparison to the first two tests kind of sucks. There's nothing wrong with it, it's not 4-3 or anything, but I just don't see it being a good test for TC. The trot work seems fine, the lengthened trot is something I'm going to really focus on starting next week after he gets shod but Tracey said it was good last year. The leg yields are easy for him and they just need a bit more cadence I think. The ten meter circles shouldn't be tricky. The only thing, if I had to pick something to dislike from the trot work, is the halt on centerline in the middle of the test. He just doesn't march right up to his halt yet. Oh well.

Wandering back home

It's not even that the test has particularly hard canter movements in it either- he can do a semi-decent canter lengthening, he has a great counter canter loop, and the fifteen meter circles are good too. If I had to complain about one thing in canter, it's that the canter lengthenings often turn into leaping, bucking, or bolting, so we'll probably just have to put those on mute and take our 6 this year.

The problem with this test is the length of the canter work. It's the first one with all the canter work all in a row without much trotting for him, and he's the sort who can get very stuck in the canter where leg can mean zipping sideways, kicking, or leaping. A good few steps of trot really helps him out between sets of canter. Even the 1-2 with the half diagonal of trot is helpful. In this test,  we only get a few steps in our simple change through the trot.

Thinking about the water complex probably

I am very excited to do a *real* dressage test on him though! First 3 is the first test to me that feels like it actually is a challenge for this horse. I don't expect our scores to be very good, but I know that if the winner of First Level in the FSA All Breeds is a 63% (unlikely), I'll regret not doing it. We just haven't had enough lessons or enough time to really fully develop him the way I'd like him to be going into First level, but a year of questionable scores is fine this early in his career.

So already we're working super hard on everything that is required. I'm getting his fitness in gear over the next month and we'll be trying our best to get this test feeling fun and easy, just like the Training level tests last year! And honestly, if we don't make it to 1-3 at the show I want to, whatever, we'll just go down to Greenville in August (it's just more expensive since it's further away) and grab them there. This is just a really convenient show for us!

Updated Day in the Life

Today I have been at my job for a month. I still very much miss my old job, but I'm adjusting. There are so many good things about this position, and there are some not great things, but in this post I'll focus on the good things.

Like giant fields to ride amazing ponies in

The best part of this job is that my commute hours have been cut way down. I still don't live next door or anything (not even in the same county), but if I leave early enough, my commute to work is 40 minutes, mayyybe 45 minutes, and my commute home is the same. Because I live at my barn, that's my only driving each day. And this is all during normal commuting hours. When I switch to my summer schedule, I'll be able to cut my commute down to 35 minutes (the traffic up here is cute in the mornings).

The only issue I ever have is getting home on Fridays because for some reason everyone and their mother is driving on Fridays here. And that's where I'll take the "long" way home which is about 50 minutes. Honestly on Fridays I don't even care because I can usually sleep in enough that it doesn't matter if I'm late to the barn.

Here's my current schedule though:

6:40- wake up
7:20- leave for work
8:00- at work
4:30- leave work (we are required to take 30 minute lunches, no skipping lunch allowed)
5:10- at home, change clothes
5:30- walk down to the barn
6:00- ride TC
7:00- put TC away, feed grain, etc
7:30- at home

Being gone from my house for only twelve hours a day is crazy to me, especially getting to be at the barn for two hours (so I get to do a lot of walking, TC gets ridden for a full hour now). I'm saving time both because I don't have to drive to the barn (25 minutes) and saving time not having to drive much further in traffic (35 minutes or so, depending on my schedule).

It's obviously still a substantial commute, 40-45 minutes each way. But I really love where I live and moving closer to work would just mean that I'd be driving out to the barn instead. Given that I like being at the barn nearly every day (and don't want to be at work 7 days a week), it'd probably just add time to my schedule.

And giant arenas to ride in

This summer I get to do a 9/80 for ten weeks. For anyone who doesn't know what that means, it means working 80 hours over 9 days instead of 10, and taking a day off every other week. Typically you take Fridays off, and I was excited to have Fridays off, but my boss said that Mondays were better. So I get five free (well) Mondays off this summer in exchange for me working 9 hours instead of 8 on certain days.

I asked to move my riding to the morning then, since leaving work after 5 makes that cute traffic turn into real traffic. I was told that I could work 8:30 to 6 instead from Tuesday through Friday, then on Mondays I'll either work a normal 8 hour day or take the day off depending on the week. I'm not so excited about not having as much time at the barn, but this will be temporary and we'll see how the weather is when the schedule is over. Riding in the mornings means not boiling up here, even if it means less pony time.

5:45- awake
6:15- walk down to the barn
6:40- ride TC
7:20- put TC away
8:00- leave
8:30...ish- at work (it'll be more like 8:40 but don't tell anyone)
6:00...ish- leave (it'll be more like 6:10 but don't tell anyone)
6:45- home

So it's only 12.5 hours away from home despite an extra hour of work because I'll be rushing at the barn in the morning. And I will probably end up seeing about shifting my hours a bit, working more like 10 hours on days where TC gets the day off so I can come in a tiny bit later (ugh like coming in at 9 would be the best) on the days where I ride him. I have plans for taking some lessons and doing some trail riding on the Mondays that I have off!

I know I don't want to stay at this job forever, but for now, I at least really like the schedule. I feel like I have more time with TC, more time at home, and just am in less of a hurry in general. We'll see how the summer goes.

Ramping Up

So since the end of our show season, TC has been in what I consider light to moderate work. For most of winter, he trotted about 10 minutes per ride and cantered about 5. Now that I've decided that our last storm this weekend is actually our last, it's time to get a bit more fit.

Rico was incredibly fit and because of that, I was less worried about his soundness. When the horse is fit, they're less likely to get their muscles so fatigued that the muscle gives out and only the tendon remains to hold it together. My biggest fear of this happening was when I couldn't control the work, such as at a lesson or at a show. I wanted lessons and shows to be lighter work than his normal workout. Never did I want to leave a show or a lesson thinking "that was a hard workout for him!" and I never really did. I used to think that Rico probably would prefer to do more shows, since he got the day off before and after the show, and the show itself wasn't very much work.

We'll keep this pony thinking that shows are SUPER FUN and
not at all tiring

TC has been on and off fit while I've owned him. Obviously he was young when I got him, so he was in a good amount of work for his age. Then he got hurt, and when he came back, I got him pretty fit before he then was replaced with the evil TC over the winter and had it off. Last summer he was quite fit and then again I let him down for this winter.

We're now starting to get more serious about his fitness now that spring has sprung.

With Rico, I used work sets to keep him fit. Essentially we'd have five or six eight-minute long sets that were spaced out by 2 minutes. So yes, the math is correct, Rico was ridden for about an hour and a half every day (including fifteen minutes of walking before and after). I varied the trot and canter work, but we had at least 15 minutes of canter and 25 minutes of trot each day. This seems like a lot, I know, and it was. Rico was a very quiet horse and was competing at the FEI levels, so I wanted him to be so fit that he was downright bouncing off the walls after a day off. It worked, clearly.

Fit horse and fit rider... not so much anymore but we both are
enjoying it at least

TC doesn't need to be as fit as an FEI horse, but I still like him to be quite fit. Because I have the equisense, I don't really use intervals anymore as much as I just check on it periodically. In light work, TC hits 10 minutes of trot and 5 minutes of canter as much as possible. Sometimes it shifts around a bit, but I do a decent job with hitting those numbers. In full work, TC gets to 20 minutes of trot and 10 minutes of canter. I find that this is sufficient to get all the stuff done that I need to get done in a day- a good quality warm up at all three gaits, then whatever work we're working on.

I know a lot of people fully believe that if you go out and ask for everything and the horse gives it to you, you should put them away, but honestly I've never really wanted to put fitness that far down. At least where TC lives, he really doesn't have any opportunity to self exercise. He lives in a large paddock that he can trot in, sure, but he doesn't. And he does get eurocized now 4 days a week for about 40 minutes, but that's all in walk, which is great for him and his fitness and I love that my barn does this, but isn't the same as working in collection.

We'll get back to this level of fitness soon, even more than this!

So there's a balance with the fitness and the training. I definitely switch gears immediately if he does everything I ask for. If I ask for a leg yield and he gives it to me, we aren't going to school the hell out of it, but we will continue riding.

I've never had him get sour or pissy about it, we do a lot of cross training out in the cross country field and we ride in the open every day. Plus, the horse loves to work.

Over the next month, we'll be increasing his work back to full work. This means more riding time for me and more training for him, which is excellent news! Now just to figure out how to grab a lesson at some point and then we're really set.

Return of the Rogue Left Hand: Part III

This weekend, Kate came up to visit! She was showing her mare at a show really close to me, so she came up Friday night and stayed through Sunday afternoon.

Kate and I do a lot of discussing of dressage theory generally, and then help each other out undersaddle when we can too. Peony noted that we were kind of an old married couple, since we both get a bit... jokingly defensive when we get taught by each other. But it works because we know that both of us genuinely want the other to succeed.

If not succeed then at least stop riding so badly that we burn
each others eyes? No we're not that negative. 

So when Kate came out to the area for the show, I definitely wanted some help from her with my biomechanics on TC. She had just watched my lesson the week before with Alexis and knows TC and I pretty well. The one thing she REALLY honed in on was my old tendency to want to pull on the left rein. It was like a lightbulb moment! I totally knew something was going very wrong to the left, but without mirrors I can't keep an eye on my hand as well. Sure enough a month with no mirrors left me pulling on it all the time.

This is not a new thing. Not at all. I have pulled on the left rein longer than I can remember. I have written many a blog post about it. I KNOW it's a problem.

It still took some convincing though. My left hand problem is tricky because it seems to overrule all logic and previous knowledge. It's like my brain logically knows that pulling on the left rein is not the answer but also is like NAH DO IT, THIS TIME IT WILL WORK.

I will tell you without a shadow of a doubt that Kate is one of the best teachers I've ever worked with. The way she explains things is really clear, and when she sees you don't get it, she tries another way. I decided to go through the videos she took and count the number of different ways she tries to get me to STOP PULLING ON THE FUCKING REIN. These videos added up to maybe five minutes of work.

At least TC still manages to mostly horse even when his rider
is just pulling on the reins at random

The first time Kate addressed my left hand she said very politely "what happens if this inside rein is a little shorter?" (1)

So I shorten it and she says "But not that it comes back any more, that you have more of a forward attitude with it" (2)

It felt better, and I said so, and Kate agreed that it looked better, but I said that it felt very over bent but didn't think it actually was. She said that he wasn't overbent but she could see how it could tend that way but that "I think you just want this hand too much over the saddle (3), like if you could get that hand out in front of you and move it here (4)..." and so I stuck my hand forward and then stiffened it "... um even more in the elbows (5)"

I tried and lost him a bit in the throughness, since I didn't have him there in the first place. So Kate reminded me that the fold in my hip was what brought him up onto the bit. As we were chatting about that, I yanked my hand back and Kate paused "... wait there you put the hand in your lap again" (6)

Somehow I fixed a few more things and Kate said "that looks really good right ther- wait no don't pull on the inside rein" (7) and I yelled "I LIKE IT" at her and she said "I DO TOO, but I'm telling you it doesn't WORK" (8)

After a slight bicker about that, she said "remember the image you gave me of the elbow swinging through my body," (9) which watching earlier I was like "I DON'T WANT MY OWN IMAGE" because honestly if I could just split in two and teach myself, this would be much easier.

Then my favorite moment of the lesson happens, I put it on instagram. Throughout this I felt like Kate was just letting me ride him completely off the bit.  So I annoyedly asked her "when he's like this is he just blatantly off the bit?"

Um, let me show you this part

Kate just says "no." and I'm like "okay well he feels like he's SUPER HOLLOW" and she's like "no" and then probably adds "what the fuck Megan" in her mind. Then adds "well don't pull so much on the inside rein" (10) to try to convince me to stop making him feel hollow.

So we chatted about that for a second and she says as I come around again, "the left rein in particular, you are really interfering with him" (11). I sort of managed to get him to drop his poll a bit, but then I pulled on the rein because what else am I going to do. So "lengthen the thigh and put the hand away from you at the same time" (12). The lengthening of the thigh is to bring him more up and over his back, versus, you know, just pulling on his face. "You really have to think about pulling him back and getting your hands away from you" (13)

Finally she gives me another analogy "carry that inside hand and push it forwards against a brick wall" (14) which I ignore and then probably ride a half halt and Kate has to add to that "no.. no not with the hands" (15).

Sometimes pulling on the left rein is warranted (but damn is
it my tendency!)

There was also this hilarious exchange where I was struggling to ride my horse rounder without pulling on the left rein so I exasperatedly said "just like.. I know I could just pull his face down" and Kate kindly replies: "I know you can"

Finally I decided to go the other way and try it to the right. To the right I feel confident about my position and that I'm not working against the mechanic all the time. Except what was the first thing out of her mouth when I picked up the canter? "So uh... your right elbow is moving more than your left" (16)


Sixteen different ways of telling me to STOP PULLING ON THE LEFT REIN. Maybe one day I'll learn. She's not the first trainer to have noticed this and she'll probably not be the last. But I so appreciate her not giving up on it the entire time.

The next day I came out and held the rein with that hand and rode my horse *blatantly* off the bit for a while. Then Monday night I managed to actually ride well keeping that hand forward and sure enough, my horse went better than he's gone in ages. Of course.

Trailer Hunting

Pretty much immediately after leaving the bay area, I wanted a trailer. I've been ever grateful that having TC relatively close to my parents' ranch has meant that I could borrow their trailer almost any time I wanted. This was crucial to getting TC used to going all the places and I think it made a huge difference in my confidence with him. Plus, shows and trail rides and lessons are super fun!

MORE TRAIL RIDES PLS

Now, it'd take me roughly five hours to go down and get their trailer and bring it back to my barn. That's a bit out of the question.

I'm waiting until the end of April to figure out what my budget is for a trailer, though I'm thinking that CHEAP is a good way of quantifying it for now.

I'm really not very picky either, I only have three requirements:

1) I want a two horse trailer, since I'm already really anxious about having to back it up and drive it through the city so I don't want anything too large. Plus, I have one horse and am not planning on expanding my training business so much that I have to haul too many clients around.

2) It has to be warmblood-sized or at least a bit bigger than normal. TC is a big-ish horse. Not too big, but big enough. I don't know how big my next horse is going to be. Hopefully not big at all. I'd really want to be on the other side of the transaction when an adult ammy buys a super fancy dressage pony. But I know that even if my horse is small, I'll not regret getting a larger trailer.

3) It has to have a dressing room. I've seen a lot of those little straight loads with the tack under the feeder, but at pretty much every show I'm changing/crying/having a panic attack in the tack room, so I need to fit inside of it comfortably.

TC says BUY ME A TRAILER so I can get back into that show
ring ASAP

Other than that, I don't care. I don't care if it has a ramp or not (TC has been in both) or if it's a straight or slant load (TC will get in anything if there are cookies involved, I'll make sure of it) or if it's a goose neck or bumper pull (truck has both and I've driven both).

BUT I have never bought a trailer. My mom has, though, and has been really intrusive offered a lot of great advice. I figured I'd ask the blogosphere though, what has been your experience in buying trailers? Any good websites/etc to look for them? Buy new or used (very much used for me I think given my budget)? Vet check for trailers? Anything to look out for?

I've already budgeted for maintenance, which is currently being rerouted into my trailer savings fund. I've got a place to put it (barn has free trailer parking, thanks amazing barn owner!), and I've already got all my shows and lessons and trail rides obsessively planned in the calendar. Now just to get the thing!

Back At It

Alright so about a week ago, TC had decided that he would like to wear three shoes instead of four. Luckily for me, he doesn't NEED back shoes. I originally put them on because he needed more support for the increased collection I was asking him for, and because his feet were chipping a bit in the summer. He felt so good with them on that I just kept them on ever since.

TC got his shoe back on Tuesday morning and by Tuesday afternoon I was determined. I have plans to get him into full work over the next couple of months so that he's all set for show season (more on that later, we probably won't show until July because of extenuating circumstances) and I also tried to apply everything I had learned in my lesson on Sunday.

He's appreciating my right leg being down and out of his way!
Literally all of these ugly screenshots are from the one video I
got yesterday of us trotting to the right. Peony and I decided we
were going to get more video of each other so yay media!

Trying to relearn to sit the trot, thanks Peony for

the video! Tried to make it into a gif but... oh well.

Riding TC since my lesson on Junior has been interesting. I've been working really hard to make sure it all sinks in. Peony was super nice and told me that even when I'm struggling, we still look good. And I think I might have said "I'm trying so hard right now" as I cantered by. It's true, I've been pouring everything I've got into making these changes. Not taking lessons often means that I try to extract any and everything from the lessons I do have.

The right side, historically our better side, has been feeling much better than usual after the lesson. Alexis said that it wasn't surprising that I liked tracking right, it's normal for the rider to want their longer side to be on the outside since it matches the horse. When you track the opposite direction, you and the horse must shorten on that side and it's really tough. It's made a big difference to the way TC goes to get my leg down and around him, I can finally feel what Tracey had said in my last lesson about him not being very good about stepping off my right leg and into the right rein. These are things I've known but haven't been able to feel, so I've been working on them but obviously not in as effective a way as I can now.

The left does feel better. I discovered when TC galloped away with me the other day that I haven't been riding him as into the bridle as I need to. That alone really helped improve the left side. It's hard to feel like I can really put him into the bridle when I feel so crooked, so I've kind of been riding him underpowered that direction and I mean... there's no way to get his back up if he's just plodding along with me trying to figure out why he won't get into the bridle. So dumb.

My good left leg

His neck is so epic when I ride him properly... and this is him
out of shape!

The left canter was what broke first, it's always the sacrificial gait when things start to go wrong. It's still really not where I want it to be and I don't know if I'll be able to get it there on my own, but it is better. The biggest thing that's happening is that he's kind of dropping his back a bit, and no amount of pulling on the reins will bring it up. Despite me REALLY feeling like pulling on the reins is the answer. It totally seems like it should be at least part of the answer. The answer though, as always, is to add power, bear down, get my right side down, kneel into him and not allow my saddle to peel away from my inner thighs, and close my fingers on the reins. All of that, plus to get the canter mechanic correct.

The canter mechanic is HARD. I had a really awful realization the other day about it. When I finally get the mechanic down in my hand, he feels way too light in the bridle. I realized that by interrupting the downward swing of the step, I was manufacturing heaviness in the bridle, which on any other horse you might classify it as "leaning" but since TC is so naturally light in the bridle, I mistook it for connection. Not a great connection, but hey he's still learning. Yeah. Only one of us needs to learn right now.

He's figuring it out too! And I need to stop with my upper body
but you know fucking what? I'm using all my resources right now
and can't fit another thing in my brain. 

Afterward when I'm just so fucking done
and TC is like "mom you're so embarrassing"

The fact that you can only maintain moving neutral and influence the horse on the backswing of the mechanic is something I've known for a long time but something that is hard to embrace. With a more schooled horse, it's easier to maintain connection in that downswing and this was huge to getting Rico to lighten up and totally transformed his collected canter. TC has been one who doesn't naturally want to oscillate enough in his neck and back, so I have to really think about it. I have to give him room on the downswing to oscillate more, but still maintain enough connection and drive from my leg to the rein to keep him connected.

And it totally worked to the right, the quality of the canter got much better and it was actually kind of nerve wracking to feel that power. The left though, like I said, I just don't have the stability in that direction yet. But it's coming.

Go left side! Except I need to close my armpits at the back, ah well

Best pony

I was really excited to see the video of last night's attempt at sitting trot. The reason why I'm still struggling I think is that as I sit better, his trot gets bigger and harder to sit. So it was nice to see that we're making progress. I'm really excited to get some lessons on my actual horse this summer. Plans are already being made to work out the logistics...

Healthy and Happy

It seems like a lifetime ago, but a year and a half, Rico was diagnosed with both Internal Pigeon Fever (bastard strangles, basically strangles but on internal lymph nodes) and Peritonitis (bacterial infection of the fluid in the gut). He got really really sick. I still look back on that time wondering how I ever emerged from it without completely losing my shit. At the same time, TC was acting up pretty bad. We'd have full rides where he wouldn't stop bolting and then in December 2016, TC started rearing every time I sat on him. 

Meanwhile, Rico is being continuously rushed to the hospital, sometimes late at night (I once got stuck coming back in a storm late at night, terrifying), and I dread every time my phone rings and it's my mom calling me. About 30% of horses die from Pigeon Fever, and when Rico got it, we'd already had two horses get it (it lives in the soil in the valley my parents' place is in) and survive. Rico was number three. Like... I do statistics for my job, but I couldn't help but to believe that Rico was going to be the one we lost. 

At the hospital, we had to let him eat basically anything he wanted
to eat so he got to eat this grass.

As all this was going on, a horse next door to the ranch dropped dead from a mystery illness just after my mom had warned them that there was a horse with internal pigeon fever nearby. The owners had just pulled blood to see what was going on. The owner contacted my mom to let her know that the blood results came back and it was internal pigeon fever. That was horrifying. Luckily we caught Rico's infections early on. 

Despite being hospitalized several times, contracting liver disease, and refusing to eat quite often, Rico somehow made it out and I am beyond grateful. He is my heart horse and I always imagined giving him this luxuriously long retirement. To lose him so soon felt like I didn't give him enough after he gave me so much, even though it wasn't at all my fault that he had gotten it. They are working on a vaccine to prevent it, and Sunny and Riot have that on board (Rico and Stretch are theoretically immune now) but it wasn't available for Rico. 

The first time I sat on him after his diagnosis, see the large patch
of hair missing under the pad? That's from the ultrasounds

I got a call from my mom the other day to update me on Rico. The vet had been out for shots and had mentioned that they hadn't taken any blood in a long while. Because of Rico's liver disease following the two bacterial infections, they've been careful to keep tabs on him. Every six months or so they check on him. 

Stretch also had liver disease (but only had the pigeon fever, not the additional bacterial infection) and has never had normal blood values. I decided to just accept that Rico was permanently damaged from this horrible disease and that I should just be grateful that he survived and not worry about the future too much. Stretch does well with his liver numbers all haywire and though it's likely to be what finally gets him, to the naked eye, he seems no worse for wear. 

Ears I didn't know if I'd ever see again! This was
right as he was getting better, I'd take him out for
short walks

But when my mom called, she had even better news than I thought she would- Rico's numbers are 100% healthy across the board! It's basically not even apparent that he nearly lost his life a little more than a year ago. This made me ecstatic.

Every day Rico gets to go out into his 1-2 acre pasture (sometimes without even being let there, he climbs under the cables if he knows they aren't on) and grazes. Often he gets let out with Riot or Stretch to hang out. Every evening when he gets his grain he gallops in from the pasture, bucking and playing. And every now and then I make it out to ride him down the road or in the arena. 

Obviously with moving I haven't been able to see him as often, but it makes me feel so relieved to know that he is healthy and happy, living in an ideal situation. I feel like I owe him so much and I'm so glad that I get to give it to him! 

Finding the Bass Line

Saturday evening I was in the bay (again, this is the third straight weekend, though obviously last weekend was not planned) for my dad's birthday. I decided to stay overnight there because Kate had arranged to have the trainer I was SUPPOSED to ride with the previous weekend in at her barn. I had asked Kate the day that I was supposed to have my lesson if she might have a horse I could ride with Alexis at her barn and she said yes. I feel that I might have backed her into a corner asking her after telling her that I skipped my lesson to put my beloved pet down... but she really did have a spare horse!

So I drove up to her barn on Sunday morning to get ready for my first lesson in six months!! I can't believe it's been that long since someone pointed out that I really need to sit down on my right seat bone.

Megan, this is called your right thigh, you also have a left thigh,
but this one shouldn't be made of feathers that will blow away at
any moment

The first thing Alexis did after sending me away to warm up was bring me over and measure my stirrups. It looked like my left stirrup was significantly longer than my right. It wasn't. I'm fairly careful about stirrup length but hadn't checked in a few months.

Alexis had a great way of addressing my asymmetry. I've always been told to drop my right seat bone, but the fact that I don't keep it down is evidence that this way of thinking of it isn't helping me at all. She focused more on my right leg than my right seat bone. My right leg gets drawn up under me and I actually end up aiding in a different location right to left. It's really hard to use my left leg in the same way, which Alexis demonstrated by pressing my left leg up. Immediately muscles I never use fired and it felt really awkward. On the right side, it was totally natural to do.

My right thigh wasn't as stuffed as my left and she wanted me to snug it in more. This immediately felt weird, of course, and even just standing there having her mess with me (she had me do a resistance where she tried to pull my right thigh off the saddle) made my inner thigh hurt.

In addition to keeping my right thigh closer to the saddle and more turned on, I needed to drop my leg down a bit. This goes against what Mary typically preaches- shorten the long side rather than lengthening the short side, but it really helped. I imagined getting my calf on him lower to even out my aid so I'm not aiding in one place on the left side and a different place on the right.

Right leg wanting to draw up

As we went into canter, Alexis immediately called me out on something that I have known is a problem, but never have had a trainer REALLY nail me for... I kind of ride with my hands a bit open. I've known about this for years, like I kind of deliberately do it. But that's not okay. So I closed them. I appreciate finally being called out on it

Despite teaching the canter mechanic a LOT, I am still not totally riding it correctly. I follow with my hand maybe better than some, but I still press my hands too far down rather than toward the bit rings. Alexis had me think about riding without a bridle, but still with a bit and reins. If I distort the connection at all, the bit will fall right out of the horse's mouth. I have to keep pressing my hands not just forward in a general direction, but forward directly to the mouth.

In sitting the canter, she noted that the saddle peeled away from my seat a bit in my thigh. I didn't even notice that was happening, I feel like I keep my butt in the saddle pretty well. I had to get my inner thigh wrapped around the tree and not let it drop out from under me. I honestly think this might be a way I'm protecting my back because I felt simultaneously more stable and less stable. In addition, I needed to get broader in my seat- I tend to tuck my butt under me, which is a brand new thing that I do. I've typically needed to tuck it because I get really hollow backed!

Junior was a good boy to canter mostly

Junior's trot isn't exactly like TC's, but it really helped to be on a smaller mover to get some good sitting trot work in. If I can't sit the trot well enough on Junior, I certainly can't sit TC's. In the sitting trot, Alexis wanted me to allow the bounce to come up through my head rather than forward out my face. I have been letting the bounce come out in my upper body and head rather than embracing the up and downness of the sitting trot. I also tend to tip a bit forward (this is also new), so I needed to bring my collarbone over my hip bone and my head back over my spine. I must have been quite forward because the end result wasn't me leaning way back or anything, despite feeling like I was.

I still maintained all the work on my right leg and it felt much better. It's amazing how much this position stuff affects the way I feel right to left. Typically I feel great to the right and terrible left. I know that TC has some stuff going on laterally because Junior immediately didn't feel as out of whack going left, but it's definitely me too. Throughout the ride, Junior got much less feral and much more compliant and I felt so much more comfortable in the tack.

My much better stuffed left leg

Some other things came out of both watching the rest of the clinic, talking to Alexis at lunch with Kate, and talking to Kate about the day before.

Here's what I remember:

Correct biomechanics are the bass line and whatever melody you are playing on top of it (e.g. lateral work, extensions, transitions, etc), the bass line doesn't change. I LOVE this (hence my post title) and I think I need to fully embrace this quite a bit more in my riding.

In the canter mechanic, all of the aids need to come on the backswing. This is super hard. Basically in my ride on Sunday on TC, he was off the bit (which he never is) for a good portion of the left lead canter because of it. In order to do a canter to trot transition, simply interrupt the oscillation of the neck on the back swing.

Stillness is not correct, one must find moving neutral. Only after we are working in complete unison with the horse can we actually influence the horse in any productive manner.

If the horse is tilting their head, on the side they're tilting away from, take that hand and turn it palm side up, then lift slightly. I haven't tried this on TC yet but I'm curious.

If you have a gap behind your butt at the canter, this means that the saddle is falling away from you too fast (not that you're being pushed upward). To fix it, you have to imagine that the saddle is further back/lower than you think. It's essentially that you're being left in the air. Mary said that any time we bounce it's because our hips are stiff joints that don't want to respond quickly to movement.

Cantering

I'm super looking forward to more lessons! I hope to be able to have gifs soon because Kate took a bunch of videos, but I totally played with my horse way too much last night and didn't have time to make them. I also super want a video of me riding TC to compare, but that will have to wait.

Educational Opportunities

I spent from Tuesday through Friday morning of last week at a conference. My initial plan was to set up my blog on Sunday for the whole week, but my last post went over why that wasn't something I could do. I thought I'd have time at the conference, but not so much because I turn into a social butterfly at these things.

The conference was AMAZING, it's my favorite one. I felt less than prepared for my presentation due to just switching jobs and kind of having to scramble once at the conference to add things to the presentation (luckily we presented late in the afternoon on the second day so we had time). All of the sessions were super informative, and I think that the longer I spend in the field, the more I get out of the sessions.

Also conferences have the best food, this was a custom mac
and cheese station

Mine was quite unhealthy

The most fun was seeing people I don't get to see very often. I obviously immediately reconnected with my former coworkers. We spent a good amount of the conference together, including going out on Wednesday and Thursday together (along with some other friends). I made a ton of new networking connections and touched base with people I've known for a while. A bunch of new ideas cropped up for how to collaborate with other colleges and stuff I'm excited to take back to work.

Friday morning I was a bit hungover, having had a heavy discussion with my former boss (who is now merely an amazing mentor) the night before and then deciding that drinking alcohol, which I rarely do, was a good way to loosen up from that. I stayed up way too late bonding with my former coworker (who is now one of my good friends) and ended up going to bed around 1am to get up at 6am for my flight. I got about four total hours of sleep because I kept waking up feeling sick.

My journey back was real interesting but it was mostly because a) I kept making plans for the possibility of needing to throw up when the mode of transportation got bumpy (my driver to the airport was aggressive) and b) I got lost a few times in two airports I'd never been in.

I finally made it home and decided to decompress for an hour, hanging out with my cat and trying to get myself to eat.

Dinner one night

Peony, Andy, and L were coming over (more on that later) so we could go to an important event (more on that later), so I decided that I needed to go try to ride real quick so I could shower and get ready. TC hadn't been ridden since Monday and before then had a couple days off for rain so he's basically had a bit of a vacation. Peony very kindly fed him while I was gone and I got out there to see he was bright and excited to see me. I took note that all of his legs looked normal (I always expect one to blow the fuck up) and that he needed to be brushed.

I took him out, passing the farrier who was packing up, and put him in the cross ties. I took my time brushing him, getting all the hair off- he's so much lighter this year!

I then glanced down at his left hind and immediately ran outside to see that the farrier had left. Seems like TC had spooked his shoe half way off. This has happened several times before, probably happens every six months, where TC startles by throwing his legs sideways and he sheers a shoe right off.

I picked it up and saw that only half the nails had dislodged and were now poking into his hoof, cool. I ran around the barn asking people if they had anything to take shoes off with, messaging Peony FRANTICALLY asking for her farrier's number (who is in Oregon for the week but coming to put the shoe back on tomorrow), and trying to pull at the shoe a bit. A friend at the barn showed up and I asked her if she had anything, she had nippers but I really needed a rasp to take the nails down on the other side. No dice.

So much fun

Peony was on it though. She sent me "Andy just watched a shoe removal video. He said we can improvise" and I ran up to my house to get ready for the event while they made their way out there.

Andy to the rescue, for sure, they brought a rasp, which we used to file down the clinches to get the nail straight, then we dislodged the shoe a bit with the nippers, and then he yanked each nail out with pliers. Shoe came off and the foot looks normal and the shoe honestly could get tacked right back on, it's totally normal looking. Because TC was barefoot for so long, I'm not worried about riding him like this, the ground is still really soft from the rain. But I ran out of time for Friday so I fed him grain, told him to stop spooking his damn shoes off, and we headed back to my house to get dressed and drive out.

Then it was time to go home

I'm so grateful for friends like these who come to rescue me! I owe them big time! And I think I'm going to be buying a few tools to have laying around just in case this happens again so I'm not nearly so frantic when it does happen... And we'll see what new farrier thinks of possibly putting quarter clips on those back feet! He has them on the front.

A Very Bad Day and a Very Bad Week

Um, pro tip, just skip this post. Come back tomorrow. Good things will be on the blog tomorrow. These are bad things. I haven't had to post really bad things in a while (and for that I am grateful), but this is one of them. And I'm sorry. I didn't want to write this but I think he deserves it so it's written.

This is not typical, but I am turning off comments because I am presenting at a conference this week and I really can't be crying any time my email updates. Please do not reach out to me in other ways for the rest of this week and mention this post or tell me your sorry or any of those things that I honestly am so touched that you would want to do.

If you do want to make me feel better, without mentioning anything sad, just send me a hilarious picture/video/post or tell me a joke or just know that I'm having a super fun time at the conference and hug your animals close for me (but again don't tell me about it, sorry I'm just such a fucking crier. And I have to wear make up and not be running to the bathroom to fix it all the time you know? Gah I wish I could control this shit).

Goodbye Cooper

A little over a week ago, I was driving out to my lesson with my new trainer and I got a call from my dad. It was 7:43am.

My dad doesn't usually call me, so I immediately knew something was off. My parents' older golden retriever, Cooper, had collapsed the night before and had been rushed to the vet. Things were not looking good. They wanted to know if I wanted to come down to see him.

I didn't even think about it, I turned down the highway in the opposite direction of where I was going and two hours later I was walking into the vet clinic frantic. I did let potential new trainer know where I was going and why. She was very nice about it.

Years ago when he was young

I don't want to talk about the rest of the day. It was terrible. Cooper, who had battled and, we thought, beaten a cancer that would have killed him a year and a half ago if it hadn't been caught and treated, had been struck by the cancer again. In addition to having a tumor on his spleen (that we didn't know was there, he was going in for blood work in a week) rupture, he had thrown a clot overnight in his leg and couldn't walk anymore. It was absolutely time. Just twelve hours earlier he was running up to the barn, barking and playing.

For the first time in my life, I was present for it. I had to for this dog. He was my mom's dog but he was my dog too. I have heard of having a heart horse, and that is Rico to me. But if there's such a thing as a heart dog, well, so far, this dog is mine.

I didn't handle it well, but I did it for him and I do not regret it. He is the best dog. I miss him so much. I hugged my mom and my brother, I drove down to the ranch to hug Ruby and Rico. I rode Rico down the road and he was sassy and silly. I drove all the way home and hugged TC and Jade. It was a very bad day. It was a very bad week.

There are currently eight important animals in my life. Rico is the one I fear for the most, both for him in that I want his death to be one that is not traumatic, but peaceful. I want to know when he goes that it was the right time, not too soon or too late. I almost lost him before. I will have a very bad day for him. I will have a very bad week and probably for him, a very bad month. Jade is my sweet kitty and I should have so much time left with her but it will be a very bad day when I lose her, followed by a very bad week.

He and Rico had such a ridiculous relationship

Stretch will likely go soon, he should have gone a long time ago. I will have a very bad day when he goes and a very bad week afterward. Riot and Sunny have found their way into my heart with how much freedom they are giving my parents. Seeing my mom with Sunny makes me so happy, she's like a kid with a pony. My dad didn't ride for years before getting Riot, he has a back injury that makes riding very difficult. He loves riding. When they go eventually I will have two very bad days and two very bad weeks.

Xena is my kitty from when I was a teenager, I got her when I got Rico. She was found in a box on the side of the road and I took her home. She is the most cat-like cat I've ever had and I love her dearly. My mom decided that she was her cat before I moved out, so she didn't come with me. She's still my sweet baby girl even though she's twelve this year. When she goes I will have a very bad day and a very bad week. Ruby is my parents' younger golden retriever.

And TC. I do not currently plan on keeping TC to the point where I am the person who has to decide about him. I hope dearly that he finds a new owner that gives him the life that he deserves after he and I conquer what we must. Selling him will occur on a very bad day, and I will have a very bad week when I no longer have that horse with me. I'm sure when, eventually, he goes as well, it will sting.

Love this dog

It's pretty much guaranteed that for the rest of my life, I will have at least eight very bad days. Eight very bad weeks. Eight times that I have to adjust to the loss of an animal. Eight moments where I question if it was the right decision. Eight times where I ask myself if it's even worth all of this pain. And even though this week has been terrible, it's all so worth it.

I had so many years with him, so many wonderful moments. So many times I asked him to come here when he was already laying by me and he wiggled and barked at me as if to say "I'm already here!" so many moments where I asked him to speak and he'd have a conversation with me, so many times where I'd need a hug and he'd give me the best hugs. I'm glad that he didn't have to have any bad days.