We Own the Sky

It feels really good to be back in a routine of working out regularly, I even got my first PR at my new gym. Two months of sporadic weight lifting is not fun.

I saw an article the other day in Dressage Today talking about how beneficial having a strong core was for your riding. I kind of thought "uh yeah, duh" when I saw it. How many people simultaneously want to believe that riding is a physical endeavor and yet do not treat it like the sport (with cross training and developing your physical abilities)... I don't have to convince anyone here.

One of the perks of teaching is that I get to visit my previous
barn, sometimes it makes me sad but mostly I just admire
how damn beautiful it is

I figured I'd take some time to talk about what benefits I've seen in my riding since getting back into CrossFit last year after having a very sporadic workout routine for the last three or so years.

1) I am way more confident
This winter has been rough with switching barns and dealing with TC being locked in a smaller paddock. TC hates his small paddock and frequently takes it out on me. I no longer fear coming off of him or not being able to handle his shit. I know that physically I'm capable of taking anything he gives.

2) Sitting trot doesn't suck
TC's trot is one of the harder ones I've had to sit. Previously, I struggled a lot with it and it was all consuming. If there's one thing I know about the FEI levels, and even starting at Second level, if you're looking at the test and the sitting trot element seems daunting, you fucked. I don't want to have to think about sitting the trot, I just want to do it. The core strength required of weightlifting is really helpful in this!

3) My cardio won't quit
Riding can and should be physically taxing. If it isn't then what am I doing? But having good cardio because of all the running and rowing I'm forced to do (since I will not run without being peer pressured into doing it) has been so helpful.

4) Mental game
I like having things in my life that prove to me over and over again that sticking it out and being dedicated will pay off in the end. Crossfit has helped my mental game quite a lot by just getting me used to suffering putting in the effort even when my body is like "nah thanks." I kind of got used to being tired and pushing through, which is really helpful for when TC is being a dingbat and I need to push through that too.

Even in the winter under the rain clouds!

I'm glad that I can fit everything in - I ride every morning for the most part and then I hit the gym after work 3x/week. On the weekends I'm hoping to start incorporating more hiking and then also get myself to a weekend drop in class when I have the time.

How To Sit TC's Medium Trot

During much of my rides at this point, now that TC and I are staring down Second level, I am sitting the trot. It's just kind of silly to post anymore since from now on, there's no reason to do it. We do a little posting trot in the beginning of our ride and then that's it.

The collected trot is getting sit-able for me. I've been working really hard at the gym and really hard in the saddle. The medium trot, however, is still just ridiculous. It isn't even put together yet. Like his hind legs still detach and get left behind in the next county. 

Since TC will be for sale one day, I feel like I need to document the steps I'm taking to sit his medium trot, so that his new owner can be prepared to do the same. 

This is his rudimentary medium trot, as in, he is still really
struggling with keeping his hind legs under him and therefore
it will become even more powerful D: 

 How to Sit TC's Medium Trot

1. Avoid sitting it for as long as possible

2. Question whether you really want to move up to Second

3. Decide you do and wonder what other bad life choices you've made lately

4. Cry a little bit

5. Put off sitting it a bit longer, why not?

6. Go to the gym, lift some heavy things

7. Do 100 sit ups as a cash out and wonder why everyone is taking so long

8. Do tabata planks as a cash out and watch everyone who out lifted you earlier struggle while you chat casually with the coach

9. Try sitting two steps of the medium trot, stop, put the horse away and go eat some ice cream

10. Poke where your six pack would be and think about how you'd legit have one by now if you didn't like ice cream so much
11. Do side planks in a workout but only for 30 seconds each side and fret about how you should probably do more when you get home

12. Try sitting it during test riding because you HAVE to and then just get off and lay down in the dirt for a while
13. Pull on the face and see if that makes the trot easier to sit (nope, why does that never work?)
14. Cry again, eat more ice cream
15. Tell everyone you know that sitting TC's medium trot is hard. ESPECIALLY HARD. 

??? (there has to be five more steps, right)

20. Get all the 8s on the medium trot

Rico's medium at PSG is NOTHING in comparison, jeeeez.

Really it's just:
- hit the gym
- hit the gym some more
- eat ice cream and just claim that you're "bulking"
- complain a lot
- just sit down and fucking do it

TC's trot is way bigger and more difficult to sit than Rico's, but I know I'll be able to sit it. I just won't like it. And it will mean a lot more hours in the gym before I start liking it at all. 

Back to It

Since being gone for the last couple of weeks on-and-off, TC had some time off himself. He had three days off when I was in Seattle and three days off when I was in Lassen. The in between was just two rides where I took it pretty easy on him. So he basically had a week off.

When I came home from Lassen on Monday, I did ride him, but it was a hundred degrees and we were both super uncoordinated. Tuesday's ride was good, but again, a little less coordinated than I would have liked.

Tuesday night was my return to Crossfit after a while, which I think jump started my coordination. And finally this morning, Wednesday, TC and I felt totally in sync again. This horse is so cool.

The one picture I've taken since I got back lol

Before I left, I had felt like he was feeling a bit burnt out. I know what it's like to be sore all the time, but at least I know that things will get better. I think that the new way of going is probably making him a bit sore, so some time off to recover (he still got eurocized for 40 minutes every day) was great for him. I think I need to remember that it's okay to give him 3-4 days off every now and then to reset his brain and body for this work. It's tough moving up from First to Second!

This morning he was on fire though. I always know he's feeling good when he tries to bolt out of the barn to the mounting block. Like HURRY UP WE HAVE TO GO FOR A RIDE. And I'm like dude please chill. He marched around the fields and kept trying to drag me to the fence line. The horse wants to go explore in the orchards next door so badly, he will always try to drift to the fence. He also wants to go hang out with the cows too. Sorry pony.

Paddle boarding with my brother, I made him do burpees on it
and squats and v-ups and push ups and several other things

Once in the ring, I picked up the trot and he felt great. One of the things I've noticed is my tendency to get stuck in too fast of a tempo at the trot. It's just easier for both of us to not really slow the tempo and insist that he push himself over the ground. So after thinking about it while I wasn't riding, I decided to really crack down on that. And sure enough, TC's trot got way better and had a lot more suspension to it! Yay...?

He was also feeling really amazing in the bridle. He downright felt long from nose to tail, but not in a bad way. Like he was really reaching out to the bridle, he was almost heavy. I had this moment of "oh my god how do I fix it?" because he was kind of bordering on being long enough to tip onto the forehand/flatten out the fancy shoulder. But then I was like wait... this horse can shorten himself all day long. So I just set him back on his hocks and he came way uphill and the shoulder was back. Damnit I love this horse.

I also insisted that he walk down this mountain
to see a waterfall, he is not a fan of mine I think

The canter was feeling less good than the trot. I think that with more work, the canter gets better but the trot gets worse. Time off makes the canter a bit worse but the trot better. The canter still felt better than the last couple of days, but I needed to really manage it a bit. Once as I got my own mechanic better, added a lot of stride length, then half halted, his canter did get much better.

The canter is just tough for both of us. It's his weakest gait generally. Currently, we're still having minor bucking issues due to him not maintaining the depth of his inside hind leg, so working on collection can only happen after we get him committed to the inside hind leg being that far under. It's really just my fault for not insisting on it immediately after picking up the canter. Then I realize part way through that I need him more engaged and he's like "nah" and we have to talk about it. Vs just insisting on it from the beginning. I love making things harder than they have to be!

At least on our last night he got to do this

Back in trot, I decided to just practice sitting the slower tempo. My tendency is to kind of zip him over the ground generally, and it's worse in the sitting trot. When he gets flat, his trot is easier to sit, so it's helpful to quicken his tempo and lose the moment of suspension. But no, that leads to a shitty trot. So I practiced picking up the trot and keeping him under me vs scooting out in front of me and flinging his legs around, then really sat into the suspension. It felt really good! And it really slowed down the trot (probably too much), which made it both harder and easier to sit. Harder because my hip really had to absorb more shock, but easier because it was less beats per minute.

After that I had to zip off to work. But it was a really amazing ride. I love where he's at right now! Hopefully my trainer has time to let me come over this weekend for a lesson.

Just a Diamond Now, No Rough

A week ago I went and audited a new-ish to me trainer who comes into the area on some Monday evenings. She doesn't come to my barn, so I figured it'd be a few weeks or months before I'd be able to haul to her. After being really excited about her lessons, I was chatting with her and some of the other riders afterward and they mentioned that they needed one more person for the next week to make the clinic happen. I said "well, I'll do it if you can come to me!" and fast forward a week, we had our first lesson together!

So much has changed since my last lesson in October on him (with a different trainer). TC has gone from a solid Training level horse to one that I hope is at least capable of going First in like... less than a week (just a schooling show).

His connection has improved loads, we spent the whole winter working on impulsion, and he's beginning to carry more weight behind. I've also radically changed my way of thinking (and sitting) since the Mary Workshop and despite not having a lot of help with second toolkit stuff for TC, I've had a lot of help on the first toolkit stuff on various horses at Kate's barn and on TC when Kate came into town a few weeks ago and this last weekend.

Um... who is this horse?

So going into this lesson I was really excited (also excited that Peony offered to come watch and video for me!). Tanya is someone I've ridden with before, mostly on other horses, and every time I audit her, I get something major to take back to TC. So having her help with TC (especially now that he's the most perfect animal) was really exciting!

Tanya started out by asking me to tell her about TC and I threw random soundbites at her. Last year at Training, this year hopefully First, my position is real questionable, want to do a schooling show this coming weekend, horse very good, kinda lazy in the heat today. I picked up the trot and she watched for a bit before starting to teach me.

And what commenced was the best lesson I've had in YEARS. I'll try to make it somewhat readable.

Riding a bit of shoulder-in

We started in posting trot and Tanya got a good look at our baseline. She said some really nice things- TC is very steady in the bridle, he reaches well into it, he's very loose through his body and he keeps his hind legs under him well. Yay! That's all I've been working on!

Pretty early on she had me go into shoulder-in. The shoulder-in was good but Tanya wanted me to bring his shoulder around a bit more, so she had me do shoulder-in to a 12 meter circle thinking about touching him under with the whip and then shoulder-in again, which really helped. She also had me take him back over his hocks a bit more in it, to think a bit like rein back, half halt on both reins.  She had me shorten my reins a bit and take him a little more up and out with his nose as well, which would end up being a theme.

From there, we went into right lead canter. The first thing she noted was that I am not using my flexion pattern/slingshot as well as I could, to pull TC's forehand up a bit more. She wanted me to half halt a bit more to put TC back onto my seat and onto his hocks. I did and she said no, more. And I did again and she said "no, like almost halt him" and so I really did and he sat down and then she had me do quite a few of those bigger half halts. I was to keep my reins shorter, my outside rein better connected so he was straighter (almost thinking counter position), his poll more up, and to keep him quick behind.

Warming up

At first, I was skeptical. I told her, I've never been told to put him up, I've been told to get him down, down down, long and down, down and low and long. She said YES, you've done that, and you've done it great and he's down and round and in a really lovely Training sort of way. But, if I want to show First level, he can't be like that. He has to be up and out. And I was on board with that, especially after feeling what it did to TC.

The canter completely and utterly transformed. Tanya found a bit of canter that she liked and said that "this is a more grown up canter" and after that, TC needed a walk break.

From there, we went into trot and did some trot-walk-trot transitions from sitting trot. Immediately Tanya noticed that I was driving with my seat too much and explained to me that the energy needed to come from my leg and that the seat organizes the energy, it doesn't create it. I tickled TC a bit to get him more powerful under me and then thought about adding more spring to his gaits and we found a much better trot that I could not sit. About two minutes in I said "I am so tired" and Tanya said "it's been two minutes" and ignored my pleas.

Learning to sit down

We continued working on the transitions and she wanted him to be more crisp about them. I kind of tried to explain that it wasn't him, it was me. I kept having to breathe when we got to walk and couldn't catch my breath enough to get back to trot. That big fancy trot is WAY HARD TO SIT. She said that I needed to get fitter. On it, okay.

From transitions, we went into leg yields and the first one didn't go well. Tanya wanted me to make sure that TC really knew what I was asking for by opening the door a bit more. She had me bug him a bit about it and shuffle him over and then after that he was like OH YAH LEG YIELDS I GOT IT and zipped sideways every time I asked. Man this horse is cool.

After that, we cantered to the left. The left lead has plagued me for a while. If you remember, it was the lead I was on where Kate had to tell me a thousand times not to pull on the left rein and then I asked her if he was blatantly off the bit that way.

Work that booty, TC

I knew that Tanya would want a more uphill canter, so I immediately got him to a better place uphill. She demanded more, so I half halted. She said no, head up. So I looked up. And she was like "no... his head, but also yours could come up too." I put his head up and she said more, to almost feel like he was off the bit. And I, of course, had a big mouth and complained "he feels off the bit here though," and she didn't care what I had to think. Put him more up and out. So I did and HOT DAMN did he canter. With his neck up and out he has a lot more room under him for his hind legs and he's very happy to put them there. The horse doesn't have a no in him. I had a stupid big grin on my face and I think he did too.

He felt incredible in that place. He felt like I could do anything I wanted with him. Lead changes? Sure! Counter canter? Sure! Half pass? Sure! Canter-walk? Of course, and we did that. Tanya said that he was just there for it so we may as well. Sometimes you just see they have a movement in them and you should just do it.

We walked a bit and then she said to put him together and do a turn on the haunches, so we did and she said that it was quite good. I felt like I didn't have enough set up to do it properly, and she did admit later that he had one step that stepped out (knew it) but that it was really good. Phew! I haven't had any mirrors to practice those!

Warm up

We went back into trot and really addressed the trot. She wanted him up, out, under, and more suspended. I wanted him to be a PRE or something. Or a giant taco. It's hilarious to watch the video because I'm just barely hanging in there as she's demanding more and telling me how good it is. Then there's me having these existential moments like what is dressage anyway, why am I doing this?

She said that he had a fancy shoulder and that I needed to develop this trot. She loved his instincts in the development. I could put my leg on and ask for more trot and his first move was to snap his hind legs up and under, putting himself more into my hand. And that's when I dropped the mic reins and left the arena because I'd just won dressage. No but I can't explain this feeling I got on him in that trot. Like who the FUCK is this horse? When did he replace my dorky baby horse with the lateral canter?

But actually what horse is this

She had me set up and ride a medium trot, in response to which I asked "do I have to sit it?" and she said "uh, yeah" and so I did but I felt like I wasn't going to have abs after it. The first one was a bit rough for me so I didn't really go for it. The second one was absolutely amazing. He came up and flung his front legs out to the best of his current abilities and covered ground like he never has before.

We let him be done after that and Tanya had great things to say about him, which was a relief. She said that he had three good gaits and said that this work seemed easy for him. She said that I'd done an amazing job getting him to this point, but that it was time to make the move toward more uphill balance and collection. She said that his type could be very low tone and heavy, but that she was pleasantly surprised at how much he pumped himself up.

She said that if I could get this to be our norm, that we would score very well at First level. And I said yay, and she said no, VERY WELL at First level. I asked about Second this fall, like in October and she said yes that we'd for sure be ready if we got him on this program.

The fancy shoulder

I'm absolutely amazed and so happy with this horse. He has grown into such a super star. Watching the videos (going to work on getting a compilation video soon) I just... like... who do I think I am owning a horse like this? I think all the rough is off of this one, he's for sure a diamond now.

Back At It

Alright so about a week ago, TC had decided that he would like to wear three shoes instead of four. Luckily for me, he doesn't NEED back shoes. I originally put them on because he needed more support for the increased collection I was asking him for, and because his feet were chipping a bit in the summer. He felt so good with them on that I just kept them on ever since.

TC got his shoe back on Tuesday morning and by Tuesday afternoon I was determined. I have plans to get him into full work over the next couple of months so that he's all set for show season (more on that later, we probably won't show until July because of extenuating circumstances) and I also tried to apply everything I had learned in my lesson on Sunday.

He's appreciating my right leg being down and out of his way!
Literally all of these ugly screenshots are from the one video I
got yesterday of us trotting to the right. Peony and I decided we
were going to get more video of each other so yay media!

Trying to relearn to sit the trot, thanks Peony for

the video! Tried to make it into a gif but... oh well.

Riding TC since my lesson on Junior has been interesting. I've been working really hard to make sure it all sinks in. Peony was super nice and told me that even when I'm struggling, we still look good. And I think I might have said "I'm trying so hard right now" as I cantered by. It's true, I've been pouring everything I've got into making these changes. Not taking lessons often means that I try to extract any and everything from the lessons I do have.

The right side, historically our better side, has been feeling much better than usual after the lesson. Alexis said that it wasn't surprising that I liked tracking right, it's normal for the rider to want their longer side to be on the outside since it matches the horse. When you track the opposite direction, you and the horse must shorten on that side and it's really tough. It's made a big difference to the way TC goes to get my leg down and around him, I can finally feel what Tracey had said in my last lesson about him not being very good about stepping off my right leg and into the right rein. These are things I've known but haven't been able to feel, so I've been working on them but obviously not in as effective a way as I can now.

The left does feel better. I discovered when TC galloped away with me the other day that I haven't been riding him as into the bridle as I need to. That alone really helped improve the left side. It's hard to feel like I can really put him into the bridle when I feel so crooked, so I've kind of been riding him underpowered that direction and I mean... there's no way to get his back up if he's just plodding along with me trying to figure out why he won't get into the bridle. So dumb.

My good left leg

His neck is so epic when I ride him properly... and this is him
out of shape!

The left canter was what broke first, it's always the sacrificial gait when things start to go wrong. It's still really not where I want it to be and I don't know if I'll be able to get it there on my own, but it is better. The biggest thing that's happening is that he's kind of dropping his back a bit, and no amount of pulling on the reins will bring it up. Despite me REALLY feeling like pulling on the reins is the answer. It totally seems like it should be at least part of the answer. The answer though, as always, is to add power, bear down, get my right side down, kneel into him and not allow my saddle to peel away from my inner thighs, and close my fingers on the reins. All of that, plus to get the canter mechanic correct.

The canter mechanic is HARD. I had a really awful realization the other day about it. When I finally get the mechanic down in my hand, he feels way too light in the bridle. I realized that by interrupting the downward swing of the step, I was manufacturing heaviness in the bridle, which on any other horse you might classify it as "leaning" but since TC is so naturally light in the bridle, I mistook it for connection. Not a great connection, but hey he's still learning. Yeah. Only one of us needs to learn right now.

He's figuring it out too! And I need to stop with my upper body
but you know fucking what? I'm using all my resources right now
and can't fit another thing in my brain. 

Afterward when I'm just so fucking done
and TC is like "mom you're so embarrassing"

The fact that you can only maintain moving neutral and influence the horse on the backswing of the mechanic is something I've known for a long time but something that is hard to embrace. With a more schooled horse, it's easier to maintain connection in that downswing and this was huge to getting Rico to lighten up and totally transformed his collected canter. TC has been one who doesn't naturally want to oscillate enough in his neck and back, so I have to really think about it. I have to give him room on the downswing to oscillate more, but still maintain enough connection and drive from my leg to the rein to keep him connected.

And it totally worked to the right, the quality of the canter got much better and it was actually kind of nerve wracking to feel that power. The left though, like I said, I just don't have the stability in that direction yet. But it's coming.

Go left side! Except I need to close my armpits at the back, ah well

Best pony

I was really excited to see the video of last night's attempt at sitting trot. The reason why I'm still struggling I think is that as I sit better, his trot gets bigger and harder to sit. So it was nice to see that we're making progress. I'm really excited to get some lessons on my actual horse this summer. Plans are already being made to work out the logistics...

Tackling Rideability

This weekend I had a ton of stuff on my to do list. And I got almost all of it done! On my list was certainly to ride TC, and we had a couple of really great rides.

Friday's ride was... exciting. Like I said last week, TC isn't a fan of the rain, so he gets a bit tense and zippy in it. He also gets tight when he's not been out for a day, and when he's tight like that, he bucks a bit. I think it's honestly that he's trying to loosen up, which he needs to find a better way to do, but it's not him being bad.

So Friday it was raining and he was bucky, so we did a lot of that and a little bit bugged the other riders in the arena. It's not worth talking about, since Saturday's ride was so phenomenal!

I made him take selfies and this one is so silly

We started in walk and really focused on getting him stepping forward and into the bridle. He is really figuring out how to cover more ground at the walk, which is really nice to feel. He's always had a really good walk, but it's always been like he's walking through molasses. Saturday he perked up quite well and we rode some leg yields and shoulder-in within the walk, before playing a little bit with the turns on the haunches.

Despite wanting to do them very slowly, he's got the mechanic down at this point. There is no stepping out and there is only sticking if I accidentally turn him too tight. All but one was great on Saturday though, and I started to get fussier about making sure that he's still reaching for the bridle, getting him a little quicker behind, and adding a titch more bend to it all to prepare for turning them into real pirouettes.

The trot is always great from the start when I take my time doing a nice long walk warm up with a lot of lateral work, and sure enough on Saturday, it was pretty good from the start. We started with some figures, working on getting him reaching to the bridle and stepping off of my aids. He's been super in the bridle lately, and my goal now with the connection is to continue to make it a bit more robust and continue to build strength within it so that he doesn't ever feel like he needs to retract his neck to regain balance. So that's a good thing to work on in warm up.

Trying to get as much ranch wandering in as possible before it
starts raining again

We rode some leg yields in warm up and they were great! He still steps off my left leg a thousand times better than he steps off my right. Kate had the opposite experience, so I'm wondering if something is going on in my position that is making it hard for him to step off the right leg for me. So that will be a good question for whoever future trainer is when I can finally grab a lesson. We worked on continuing to improve the cross over in the leg yield left and keep him a bit more upright on the outside in the leg yield right. He stayed really well out to both reins in each leg yield, which is great, since he tends to either not connect to the right rein (when LYing left) or busts through it (when LYing right).

The sitting trot is for sure coming along and I'm so happy with where it's at. I know I still have a bit of the Pac Man abdomen going on but my backline is ON and it's getting stronger. I find that focusing on getting the backline turned on as it passes over my butt is really helpful. For the most part, it wants to stop at my mid thigh, so focusing on inching it further has helped a lot. His trot isn't feeling too bouncy anymore, but I know it is because I'm sore quite literally every single day I ride him.

From there we did our canter work. I'm starting to tackle the rideability in the canter quite a bit more and Saturday was no exception. The throughness at the canter is finally coming along okay. Still not at the level of trot/at the level I want it to be at, but he's actually really coming over his back a lot of the time. Until, that is, we have to go in a straight line. To the right, it's not bad at all and I can usually get him going totally straight into the mirror. To the left, he really struggles to keep the right side of his body up. He legitimately feels like he's going to fall over it.

He's not a fan of selfies

To fix this, I did some shallow loops. To the right, they were really great. He's super rideable in them, doesn't threaten to change, I can actually ride the canter instead of feeling like I have to hold it all together. To the left, it's really hard to get him to make the turn at the top of it. He'll come off the rail fine, but then when we go to turn back, he feels like he has to lean hard right to get back. It looks fine in the mirror, but the feeling isn't great and the throughness goes away. The exercise for sure exacerbated what I was feeling on the straight line. It's honestly all about the right rein, remember in the leg yield how he either falls away from it or through it? There's no INTO it involved. So I redoubled my efforts to ride him INTO the right rein as I came around the corner and we had a much smoother movement.

Still though, that shit is hard! To end, we came back to trot and played a bit with transitions within the gait. I really need to get my shit together with the mediums in trot and canter. I feel like I can't ride them quite yet in canter because of that right rein business, but the trot is very ready to begin to develop it. The lengthening is fine, but it can get a bit unrideable, where it feels like I slingshot him across the diagonal and hope for the best. I mean, I rode them like that for many years on Rico, and I'm not too worried about First level, but beyond that, I want him a bit more rideable. So we started with just adding power to our collected trot and seeing what happened. He got real fancy and I let it out a bit until I couldn't sit it as easily, then brought it back.

At the end, we wandered around the ranch and he got lots of pets and cookies. He can be kind of a dingbat sometimes (see: all the rides last week in the rain), but I really am having a ton of fun with him at this stage. He finally feels super accessible and it's just a matter of improving the throughness and collection, and maintaining all of that good stuff through new movements.

Thanks, TC

The culprit

Unfortunately we couldn't replicate the ride on Sunday. I came out to the barn to ride and TC had blown up a leg. I really wish it hadn't been the suspensory leg, but it was. The swelling was further down than the suspensory, kind of in the middle of the leg, and only on the inside. It wasn't hot and it was squishy. There was a small cut right at the top of the swelling, and he was totally sound, so here's hoping that he was just dicking around and that his leg decided to go nuts over a small cut. It happened recently on the other leg too.

We did a lot of walking and then a short ride just to keep him sane. By the end, his leg looked much better, so I gave him a gram of bute and we'll see what his leg looks like today! Really hoping that it's nothing serious.

Some Current Work

This week has been really busy at work as I wind down my employment at my current workplace. I'm really excited to move on but I am dreading next week because I have three (!) going away party things to go to and I think I'm going to cry at least at one of them. And probably on my last day. And probably while driving to my new place even though I'm super excited about it. And probably at my new job. I can't help it, even good change makes me a crazy person.

The horse though, has been absolutely impressing me lately. He's been super quiet and sweet to me, though today it's supposed to start raining, so we'll see. But up until today's ride, he's been so good this week and last weekend. 

Okay so side note, he will walk down this road just fine, not
spooking at the trees, but if he is in the arena on the other side
of the trees, the trees are terrifying. Horse logic is stupid.

Finally on Sunday we had a really stellar ride after a couple of tense ones due to the rain. We've been drilling the walk work a bit more lately and the walk pirouettes felt excellent that day. He still really struggles to keep the walk active, but luckily he's not the type to stick. I've done a ton of walk pirouettes on him (always facing the mirror so I can watch his legs) and he's only stuck once.

I've also been working a bit on the halt and rein back, just from walk. He's just kind of terrible at it. I don't blame him and I'm not worried about it, Rico went through a period of time where every time I tried to back him up undersaddle, he stood up. So TC wanting to take baby steps back with his head in the air is totally absolutely fine in my book. Take your time, bud. On the couple days we skipped out of riding due to the storm last week, we did some work in hand with the clicker and that seemed to help him understand the whole going backwards thing with his neck down. 

He saw a giant bird that he thought about going
over to

Then this week due to being busy, we've mostly just been putting in the miles. I figure if I only have 20-30 minutes to work him (vs 45+), we'll just put in miles in a good connection with good transitions. His connection in the trot is feeling great lately. I'm a bit annoyed with myself in that I feel like it's a conscious decision to get him really INTO the bridle. 

I'll get a few minutes in and I'll think he feels good and then I look in the mirror and see that he's not really coming up through his shoulder. So then I put leg on and really press him into it and the shoulder comes up, but it annoys me I won't do that immediately. I'm going to not have mirrors soon (but hopefully Peony will video me sometimes! And I'll be taking a TON of fence videos) so I'm paranoid that he's suddenly going to backtrack without the mirrors there to tattle on me. 

The canter transitions definitely feel better than they have. It was kind of a wake up call to realize that they're better on the long lines than undersaddle. If that doesn't scream rider error, I don't know what does. The issue really truly stems from the sitting trot not quite being there yet. It's SO MUCH BETTER but it definitely isn't perfect. 

He's super good about ground tying these days

The biggest thing has been to focus on my back line through my glutes actually, which seems weird. For some reason just thinking about that gets my back line engaged everywhere else. In addition to all that, watching Kate's lesson with potential new trainer helped me a lot too. Trainer described staying with the motion of the horse like staying up on the crest of a wave. And that helped me a lot (especially because it makes me want to get my chest forward, which is a main problem). When I get it, I can really feel his trot get much better. And that trot is addicting as fuck. 

It just feels SUPER loose and like it's a half halt away from passage. It is not. It is nowhere near passage and the horse is not trained to passage, but it feels like that. The only complaint, that I mentioned earlier, is that he really doesn't stay into the bridle when I go to sit the trot. I think this is 95% a problem that I don't ride him well into the bridle in the sitting trot, and maybe 5% of it being that because his trot changes when I go to sit it, it's harder for him and we need to build muscle. 

So much of it is me, I can feel myself not wanting to put him into the bridle because that's tiring. Sitting the trot in general with my new position is tiring enough, adding weight into the connection is way too much. But it's necessary, so I've been working hard at it. I think it will get better with time, and hopefully some lessons too!

Wandering around

Fingers crossed that today's ride doesn't go terribly in the rain. Either way I don't care. I'm just really enjoying this animal right now and I'm excited to move barns and start figuring out my training situation. I've done and redone my budget to include two lessons a month in it permanently. This is the year of lessons!

Weak in the Backline

Monday afternoon I followed Kate back to her barn to play with her mare. Before that though, she had to teach a lesson and had an extra horse for me to ride, so I joined in! We had talked a bit about Kate doing a realignment on me at the clinic itself, but we were both so exhausted by the end of it. I still really wanted help with everything though. Despite learning SO much from the Mary clinic, I still hadn't had anyone really help me from the ground on the concepts. I can only do so much with the short side of mirrors and a sometimes ridiculous horse under me.

I rode Tango, a super sweet thoroughbred gelding who I had ridden before. I warmed up and put Tango through his paces, talked to Kate a bit about the second toolkit stuff I had played with (since Tango would rather not use his right hind leg thank you very much), and then came over to do the realignment!

Pony: looks good. Rider: needs realignment (also gets left behind
when coming down from sitting the lengthened trot, which is what
this picture is depicting, he looks good though!)

We started by putting both of my legs in front of the flaps to feel my seat bones. My seat bones are pretty easily accessible so that was no problem. Kate then put both legs where they needed to be, which didn't feel tooo far off from where they tend to live. But the rotation was definitely a bit more dramatic. This could have been that Tango is much narrower than TC, which meant that I really needed to think about the middle of my thigh a lot, which is usually an area that is taken up by wider sprung ribs.

From there we did a few resistances. Kate put her hand on my heel and had me push back against it. Then said no, like really do it. I was. This means that my backline is SUPER weak. Sure enough, when she put her hand on my toe and had me push forward against it, I was much stronger. This goes back to the Mary clinic when I was doing this exercise in the chair. I could feel my back line only up to the middle of my thigh, while I could feel my front line almost all the way to my collarbone. Interesting.

Typically a weak backline can be seen in a rider who wants to sit in a chair seat. I definitely have had this problem in the past. But years of being told to get my leg under me have led me to sort of artificially keep my leg back. This whole ordeal is not made easier by the fact that unless I am standing or on a horse (which, let's be honest, I work an office job with a long commute... it's not often), I have a long loose backline and a shortened front line. Even sitting here writing right now, my legs are out in front of me, my back is curved, I'm leaning down. And then I'm like, hmm I wonder why my backline is so weak.

Not as obvious in the canter but still there

It's not as apparent in the canter other than in my propensity to look down, which I feel like I'd do no matter what. It's not even all that apparent in the rising trot where you really see it is in the sitting trot. And it's most obvious on TC.

I've mentioned before that TC is one of the biggest, loosest movers I've ever ridden. I remember riding him as a three year old being like "welp if I get this one I'll sell him before I get to Second level," but over time his trot did get a little bit reined in. He's learned to shut it down nicely if you get in his way, but I don't want that.

Think of a horse's movement like wind and my weak loose backline like a heavy sail. If I'm on a small mover, the sail maybe flaps a tiny bit but I can generally keep it looking somewhat taught. If I'm on a moderate size mover, the sail probably has a good curve to it, but maybe not too obvious still. Then I get on TC and he hits my backline like a hurricane, sending it flying backwards.

I didn't edit this one because it's way ugly. He's up against me,
there's a random horse butt coming out of his nose, and I'm
obviously not sitting well. You can see what my backline wants
to do though, it's not good. 

Luckily for me, Tango is not a small mover, but he's certainly no TC. He was enough to get my sail ruffling in the wind but didn't create the above position like TC does. So it was enough to get me a bit out of whack (so I could feel the muscles I needed to engage to get me in the right position) but not enough to really make it impossible to figure out what to do.

I started to sit the trot and Kate told me that I was still too far back. So I brought my shoulders forward. And I was still too far back. Even more forward. Still too- FINE I will LEAN forward with all my might. Yep, that's it, that's vertical. It felt insanely forward. And there's really not that much of a difference. I have video but haven't gotten the video up to make gifs out of. But it really didn't feel very good, but it looked MUCH better.

Tango let me sit his trot for quite a long while like that (all the while being reminded to give me an even place to sit, poor thing) and then I came out on Wednesday and Thursday determined to replicate it on TC.

Riding is at least fun even when it's really fucking hard

I failed miserably. I need an actual TC lesson soon (the clinic next weekend filled up and I'm so sad), but I did my best. I managed to get myself in the right place shoulder-wise, but then I'd pop up off my seat bones, or my seat bones would be pointed backwards and my back would be hollow. So then I'd try to get my backline on without shortening it and it'd lead to me pressing backwards against it, which led to me rounding my back too much and getting left behind.

Meanwhile TC the saint is just trotting around like "hmm rider seems real weird today, whatevs" which he would NOT have done last year, so yay for grown up ponies.

I'd love to say that I had a huge breakthrough and am now sitting TC's trot like a boss. I am not. I left the barn on Thursday with a sore lower back for the first time in a very long time and feeling a tiny bit deflated. I know this is going to be absolutely key to access his fabulous trot one day, but today is not that day. Tomorrow looks bad too. Maybe Sunday, but probably not. It will take time and effort. And a lot of exercises to strengthen the muscles in my back so I can actually use them.

And perhaps a shorter commute? Or being able to work remotely once a week? Orrrr not. Okay I'll work with what I've got.

Breakthroughs

The week following the Mary Wanless clinic was a tough one. I'd be riding along like I always did and then would get overwhelmed by all of the things she said, try to implement them all at once, and then get frustrated that I couldn't do them all at once or get taken off with because I wasn't paying attention. Do not recommend this implementation style.

When did my horse get replaced with a bouncy ball? Lol this was
the only part of the arena I could get good crappy screen shots

So over the week, like I said in Friday's post, I decided to just find a couple of crucial things to fix over the next month or two, then come back and reread all of the posts from last week and find a few new things. That's far less overwhelming and I'll probably make better progress doing that than trying to think of everything at once.

At this point, my goal is to find some equilibrium where I feel like I can ride my horse again, and we're definitely getting to that point.

Luckily, for the most part, TC and I are in a great place right now where I can actually devote a lot of my mental power to working on these things. Winter has been really mild this year (coulda used that last year omg) so we've been plugging away in a bit of a reduced workload, less due to weather at this point and more due to the shifted schedule to morning riding. Though I did make a conscious effort to reduce his fitness so it wasn't a big deal to miss a few days of riding, which paid off during the clinic and when everyone came back to school the week before that.

So I might be way overcorrecting my right seat bone (it will be
DOWN) but can I just have a moment to admire this trot?
This was not the trot he was born with, let me just tell you. 

Sunday I took a bunch of really crappy fence video. I haven't had any new media because I can't yet afford to have someone follow me around recording my life. Also I tend to ride at times where normal humans are doing other things, like sleeping or watching the football game.

It was really great to see, even just for the little bits where I could, what we looked like. I obviously have mirrors, but I do like slowing it all down and seeing what is going on.

A lot of good things are happening and a few bad things too. As expected, I'm way overcorrecting a few things. I'm so dedicated to being on my right seat bone that I'm pretty much hanging off the right side of my horse, so that's cool. He's not thrilled with it but he's a tolerant fellow (or he will be when I'm done with him) so he can deal. And I'm really struggling with the stability in my position tracking left, which is going to take me a long time to fix. I think it has something to do with my SI injury, and I need to see a doctor to figure that out.

The sitting trot is AMAZING. I noted the changes last post, but this time I could see them. The quality of trot has improved so much, especially when I can be coordinated (not often, yet) and really bear down AND put my leg on at the same time (pretty sure that's impossible). He's naturally so much more into my hand and so much more active. I played a bit with increasing the power coming from behind but also rebalancing him a bit more uphill with a half halt and I could really see the difference in that. And all the work in the bridle this winter means that adding positive tension like that doesn't send him into negative tension. I can really press on him (not in a mean way, he wouldn't do well with that) and get great work out of him.

New position who dis?
Sorry, it's late on Sunday night and I'm delusional. But damn.

To me, the canter feels like the change of a lifetime, though the video showed that it's still in the beginning phases, though there have been some significant changes. I was convinced I had achieved the collected canter I want for Second and... I know lots and lots of people content to take a canter like this into Second level, but I am going to be dissecting collection in a post at some point (complete with gifs of my GP horse vs my Training level horse) and I will go more into what I'm wanting him to do.

What I can say with confidence is that a) his throughness is a thousand percent better and b) he's definitely traveling in a more uphill balance, even if those hocks aren't as bent as I'd like them to be in the stance phase to call it collection. I'm pretty pleased with that. Throughness has been an absolute battle in the canter. The horse is just not built to do it. When I see Rico cantering in the pasture (well, get videos from my mom), he naturally has a round canter. TC's natural canter is a horrifying disaster that I never want to sit on again, let alone see.

So he's really come a long way since even a year ago struggling with it. But it's going to take a lot longer to develop. I'm very happy to keep plugging along with it. If this is how much I can change just by sitting in a slightly different way, I wonder how much things are going to change in the next year!

IS THAT UPHILL BALANCE IN THE CANTER I SEE?

So pretty much every day we're making really good progress. It was enough where I had a couple of people ask me who I was riding with. MYSELF through mirrors, overwhelming auditing experiences, and crappy fence videos. I do want a lesson, but that will have to wait a bit longer. For now, we're just going to keep plugging along on the first toolkit (though I slipped into second toolkit the other day and did some leg yields and shoulder-in within the new sitting trot and they were great!) and keep making steady progress.

So Many Transitions

On Saturday I did a bunch of chores and then headed to the barn for more chores. I cleaned all my tack, my boots, and brushed TC's huge tail out. It gets a bit neglected during the week because I don't have much time.

TC was very eager to get ridden and marched around the ranch happily until he spooked hard at someone dumping a wheelbarrow. He continued this spooky behavior for the rest of the day because he knows that I am a fragile person who needs to be saved from all sorts of scary things.  

I bought bandage liners from Peony and dressed
TC up like a fancy European horse. It did not work.

In the arena we started at the walk. Luckily for me, every lap around the arena is a brand new terrifying experience for TC, so he doesn't mind doing a hundred leg yields. He seems to be a bit like a gold fish that way. After having some trouble with the canter leg yields (again off the outside leg- a half pass with no bend), I took it down to walk and discovered that neither of us are currently feeling comfortable with the leg yield off the right leg. I'm struggling with where to sit and he's struggling because his rider can't figure out where to sit. Also I think he's a little tougher on that side in general. Bringing the right hind to the midline is tough because he disengages from the right rein, and that makes him crooked. He has to stay up to the right rein and cross over. This is really hard for him. 

After a LOT of leg yields at the walk and me finally figuring out how to get myself to sit correctly (imagining I'm doing half pass with no bend is really helpful, if I think leg yield I get all wonky), we went into trot. 

His trot felt really great. He's letting me put my leg on but isn't behind my leg. He reaches super well into contact now AND leg means that he takes more contact rather than just scrambles faster. He picks up the trot from the walk by stepping into the bridle (still working on a really good downward transition, he stays on the bit but it's not a *good* transition) and pressing into trot, versus having it start from him pulling himself into it. And most importantly, I can sit the SHIT out of the trot. Well, mostly. 

Walking around the ranch

For the trot work, I mostly just worked on the connection. I find that he's still in a place where the connection is still something that we both need to think about. He needs miles going along in this connection before I can easily add other elements (like lengthenings, leg yields, all the stuff I want to be doing in a couple of months at our first show... maybe we'll wait a bit longer) without risking the connection. I've been having some dedicated days to perfecting all the easy stuff and one or two days a week where we branch out and I push him for a bit more. 

Once as the connection felt solid, I decided to do a bunch of trot to canter transitions. These historically have not been good. His canter in general has not been good. Now the canter itself is good, so it's time to get the transitions under control. The main issue in the past has definitely been my inability to sit his trot. Well, I told myself in the fall that since we were done with Training (well, we might do one show), that I basically had to learn to sit his trot in the next year or he'd have to be for sale as a First level horse. I don't want to sell him because he's really turning into an amazing horse, so I have been working REALLY hard to sit his trot. And it's working!

Now that I can sit his trot before and after the canter, working on the transitions has been a lot easier. I can catch any issue that arises much faster, and like I mentioned in this post, it's not about me skating through the movement anymore. So on Saturday I really packed the pressure on myself to get my timing quicker and ride him more through during the transitions. 

Looking around after our ride

While working on the transitions, I sat the trot in between, and that really helped me discover a couple of minor things going on in the sitting trot (I'm sure there are other things too), like the fact that I'm chronically slightly behind. You can see this in my lower back getting a bit round. I need to get my front line forward. I thought about what Tracey used to say to other people (since I had a tendency to arch my lower back in the past), imagine there is a piece of glass in front of you and that you're pressing up to it. 

So I thought about that and TC's trot really did transform quite a bit. The transitions were much much easier as well. I know some of it is strength for him, but a good lot of it is me not being in the optimal place for him. I'm sure in the future he'll be strong enough where I could be hanging off the back of him and he'd do the transition just fine, but until then, I need to stay with him and out of his way. 

The canter itself was back to normal after the day before's bout of soreness. Kate and I talked a lot about his tendencies the other day and she suggested I try kinesio tape, so I ordered some from Amazon and will try to coerce her into putting it on him. We're thinking that he's got tight hamstrings and that this is the reason why he struggles to get his hind end under him. I've always thought he had issues in his lumbar area, but as a person with tight hamstrings who also has problems in the lumbar area, the two are for sure related. Tight hamstrings could explain why he doesn't want to step under and flex his lumbar. So we're thinking about putting the tape there. Though I'm open to just wrapping him completely in tape to see if it helps him. Might keep him cleaner too. 

Thinking about itching his face with his bridle
on but then stopping when I told him no!

Generally the ride felt SO good. He's really stepping up his game and I'm trying to as well. This winter has been a really good one so far for progress, which is funny because I definitely did not plan on doing this much dressage. So it goes. But I figure if he's good, he's good, and we'll keep pressing forward. If I start to have problems, we'll take a step back. No big deal. First show isn't until mid March (and that's up in the air with the job search) and it's a schooling show. First rated show could be at the end of March but I could also wait until June! All I want to do this year is get my First level Freestyle score. Maybe qualify for All Breeds. Other than that, we're just having fun. 

The Rest of Break

Today is my first day back at work and I'm excited. I really do like my job, even though having a nice long break every year is super nice.

The rest of break with TC was wonderful (aside from yesterday, but that's a story for another day)! I just love riding him in the middle of the day and the weather was PERFECT. It was sunny and warm most days, and we rode in almost every arena.

I mostly used the break to continue working on the basics. This winter has been so fun addressing all the little intricate details of dressage with this horse, and he's getting really fun. It was funny to go through last quarter's goals- I wrote them when I was really pressing forward through the levels, but then after my lesson with Tracey revealed a big hole (in that if I put my leg on, he doesn't fill the bridle the way he needs to, also more crookedness issues on my part), I immediately stepped back to fill it.

I had a friend hanging out in the round pen while
long lining the other day

At this point, things are going SUPER well and he's feeling a lot more like a true First level horse who is schooling in a Second level balance at times. And not to worry, the movements are all still there. In fact, many of my goals for this upcoming quarter barring any issues with weather (there will be lots I'm sure) were centered on putting the movements back on in the new balance and connection.

But for now we're still doing a lot of transitions and easy figures, just putting in the miles. It takes time, I want him to feel so confident in the way I'm asking him to go that he holds it through any movements. If I start putting the pressure on for the movements and he can't carry himself in the new way in his sleep, he'll revert to his old ways and I'll be going in circles.

He's feeling so much better! The trot is super maneuverable and he's quite in front of my leg and into the hand. The canter is getting better through every single day. He's really learning to release his back at the canter on the long lines and he's not great at it yet, but he really seems to trust me undersaddle and is learning to reach into the bridle and oscillate his neck at the canter. For a while that just put him on the forehand, but in the last several rides, I've been using the swing of my hip to help him be a bit more uphill without restricting him in the bridle.

Ranch wandering

All this work on getting him INTO the bridle has almost completely fixed the bolting problem. Since early last year, he hasn't really had any insane bolts, where I feel totally out of control, but he has still been scooting quite a bit. And there were days this fall where it happened a LOT. Tracey's idea was that he first sucks back away from the contact and then runs off.

I disagreed at first because he always feels so hard mouthed when he bolts, but after she pointed that out (and after he immediately stopped scooting off with me when I connected him in the lesson), I've realized that she's totally right. He drops his back, gets light for a SPLIT SECOND, then grabs the bit and runs. The more he's into the bridle, the less likely he is to scoot off.

And this means that I can now feel them coming. They've always felt so out of the blue, completely random. I know that horses don't just do things randomly. But that's what they feel like. Now I can prevent them by putting him into the bridle, and I can feel them coming when he disconnects from the bridle. Not every disconnection leads to a bolt, but no bolt starts without a disconnection. The hard part? Sometimes disconnecting feels GREAT because he's so light in the bridle. It genuinely feels like self carriage at times. But with this horse, we don't want light. Ever. So it's been easy to fix.

Best donkey friends

The other thing I'm really working on is my sitting trot. If TC has to go back to basics, so do I. I was sitting the trot and the canter the other day and the potential new trainer (but maybe not because she mostly just told my friend what to do) told me that I was a "good little rider" and asked me who I learned to ride from. I took it as a compliment even though the little part was a bit condescending... she's that kind of person. Not a condescending person. Just the sort of person who says things like that.

Anyway, it felt nice to have someone acknowledge that I sit well in the tack! I've been so crooked recently! I'm still focusing on stillness of my body, without becoming rigid against his insanely bouncy trot. Like SO BOUNCY. I've ridden a LOT of horses, dressage horses, warmbloods, you know, the bouncy horses. And this one, this one is so bouncy. But I'm taking things slow, not putting too much pressure on myself to hold it past my abilities, and a little bit telling him to deal with me sometimes flopping. But I'm flopping much less.

My biggest tip for sitting a trot that is really bouncy is to just accept that it's really bouncy. So much of our instincts tell us to minimize the bounce with flopping. Bouncy ankles, bouncy elbows, floppy lower back or chin up and down. Instead, just sit right down and treat it like a roller coaster, it's just going to be fucking bouncy and just deal with it. Try to even just let your eyes bounce too, so you can't really see. Yeah. I'm fun to ride with these days. But it helps a lot to sit down and any time my brain goes OMG SO BOUNCY MAKE IT STOP, I can tell myself just... yep it's bouncy. And keep going.

Creeping on himself

Generally things are so fun right now. Today TC gets a day off and then hopefully I'll have a work from home day this week. My goal is to talk to my boss today or tomorrow about permanent work from home days twice a week because I did my annual budget and I spent WAY too much on gas. I'm also going to start my teaching/training business again this year, as was evident by my goals yesterday. But more on that tomorrow I think.

Happy New Year!! I'm really looking forward to 2018 with this wonderful horse. Please just let us get through the winter unscathed. Both of us!