2015 in Review and 2016 Goals

Wow what a year of changes. Now that we're upon the new year, I wanted to go through my pitiful goals  for 2015 and set some even more pitiful ones for 2016.

Goals for 2015
I am having problems even coming up with these because I am currently horseless (lol same). But here goes nothing:

Get a job and start saving money
Check

Graduate from my MA program
Check

Finish thesis
Nope, sadly

Buy a project horse
Bought TC!!

Develop new horse to prepare for sale in 2016
Going to sell him later on because he actually has some potential!

Continue with Crossfit
Did it for about half the year, then broke myself.

Wow that's pathetic. Also why is this writing so small? Clearly my goals did not warrant a regular font size, although my work computer isn't helping to remedy this problem.

Horse: acquired, and much nicer of a horse than I thought I'd get

Key Moments of 2015

2014 ended with a bang as I earned my USDF Gold medal on Rico and he was semi-retired after it was apparent that he wasn't going to stay sound in regular work. But we had some fun before then, and continued to play on the trails and in the arena a little bit throughout 2015. I started riding TC in December of 2014 with the idea that he *might* be something I bought later on, but nothing was anywhere close to being set in stone.

The first three months of the year were spent just playing at home and experiencing new things together. We went on a few trail rides, rode out in the field together, and experienced the joy (not at the time) that was the neighbor arena. We also went to a few new places that were mostly a little disastrous.

In April, TC and I did our first schooling show together, it went well! The next day, I broke up with my long term boyfriend and had to move away from school and work (but closer to TC and Rico). It was the right decision, and I'm so much happier now.

In May, I graduated with my MA degree! But I was and still am considered ABT- all but thesis. As a present to myself, TC and I went to our first clinic with Tracey. Tracey was very complimentary of us and gave me the go ahead to buy TC.

Who wouldn't love this trot? Just... don't look at the canter

In June, TC and I did our second show and our first cross country schooling. He was nervous (and reared at the trailer a lot), but very good and he LOVED the water. I reinjured my back and wrist so I stopped Crossfit. No fun. Rico and I trespassed on a golf course in one of our trail adventures. I got a fish at a county fair because my brother is too good at beer pong. At the end of the month, I got to meet L (and Ramone) and watch them at the Woodside horse show.

In July, I was offered a job! But I turned it down. I showed TC at another schooling show and we had a judge that irritated me with her comments so I vowed to do more clinics and less shows. At the end of July, I audited Axel Steiner and met Nicole (and Murray) and Peony (and Spot and Stubby).

In August, I was offered the job AGAIN and I took it. I scheduled TC's vet check shortly afterward and he passed! TC and I went to our second clinic, this time with Barbi Breen-Gurley. I also got some pretty adorable baby pictures of TC. And I had one final hurrah with Rico as we went to the beach, where waves tried to murder him.

This was SUCH a fun ride, even if Rico didn't think so

In September, I started my job, bought TC, and moved north all within five days of each other. My job thought about killing me but then got much better. TC and I rode with Barbi again and it was wonderful. I briefly thought about the FEI young horse stuff and quickly threw that into the "maybe but probably not" pile.

In October, TC moved up to my area. We really struggled, he had never lived in a paddock on his own before and had never lived anywhere but his original breeder's barn. My parents tricked me into coming on a trail ride with them one weekend when I was heading down to pick up a few things from their barn. I got super sick and it turned out to be my old stomach issues coming back, yay for feeling terrible (wow I can't believe this was in October, I still am not off my meds). I had a lesson with my trainer friend who helped me understand TC's bad behavior a bit better. At the end of October, I got a kitty!

LOVE her

In November, the time changed and I had to embrace the hellish adult ammy lifestyle of riding in the dark evenings. TC handled riding in the dark better than I expected, but I started experiencing some confidence issues as we swung between good and bad rides. At the end of November, I took TC and Jade home for Thanksgiving. I was expecting a horrible week with TC, accepting that I was going to have to go through some shit to get him better in new places, but we ended up having an amazing week together. This was all due to riding with a new trainer who specializes in breaking young horses. In November L and I also got to see Cavalia's Odysseo, which was really amazing.

In December, TC and I were starting canter boot camp when he went super lame and we thought abscess. Nothing came out but the trimmer was pretty sure he had one. Just a week after his initial lameness, he went super lame again and I called the vet, only to discover that he had torn his suspensory in two places. Within the week he was moved to my parents' house for stall rest and we got a second opinion from my favorite wizard vet. The injury turned out to only be torn at the origin, so that was good news, but it's at risk of adhering to the splint bone. But TC was not handling rest at my parents' place, having jumped out of his paddock and being a bit unruly to work with. He was moved to a rehab facility in late December for three to five months.

Miss this guy so much

It was a shitty end to an interesting year. Hopefully 2016 holds more success for us, and hopefully no more soft tissue injures (ever).


2016 Goals
- TC stays quiet enough on rehab to heal his leg
- TC goes swimming at rehab!
- (If sound) TC comes back into work
- (If sound) Get into ideal barn
- (If sound) Ride in a couple of clinics OR take regular lessons with someone
- (If sound) Show Training level?
- (If sound) Show First level??
- (If sound) Trail ride as much as he can handle (ideal barn has trails through an orchard with good footing on flat ground)
- Audit more clinics
- Fix my wrist injury
- Start crossfit (or equivalent) again
- Finish my thesis
- Brother and SIL get married! Not a goal, just excited.
- New job/moving? Probably not until 2017

I love this picture of him, he looks like a real horse here

The quarterly goals are so much easier when everything is so up in the air! Well, I mean this goal post was much more impressive when I had a sound horse (it was SO sad to delete those goals, serves me right for being proactive on this blog). Now it's just as pathetic as last year. Oh well, keep an eye out for some slightly less boring quarterly goals tomorrow. Happy New Year!

Updates From Rehab

I've been emailing and texting with the people who run the rehab place (maybe a bit too much) since TC got there last week, but with work and the holiday, I hadn't been able to make it out to see TC since we dropped him off.

Because of how busy the rehab place is, and how most of the horses need to be quiet, they have set visiting hours. Unfortunately for those of us with two jobs, these visiting hours are M-F from 8am to 4pm and Saturday from 8am to noon.

My plan was to go every Saturday, since the weekday times are impossible to make, but then I looked at my Saturdays and I felt a bit let down. They're all so busy with teaching (so I can pay for the damn rehab place) that I won't be able to see him for a couple of weeks at least. Luckily, despite not having the world's most productive day at work on Tuesday, I zipped out early to the rehab place before visiting hours were over. I was sick, right? Sick of not seeing my pony.

The best medicine (blurry because he kept reaching at me for food)

I had wanted to bring him cookies and brushes and the like, but all of that stuff is at Rico's now! Luckily I'll be nearby on New Year's Day, so next time I go, TC will get his tail brushed and maybe his mane pulled. I did stop for some carrots and an apple at one of the fruit stands out there though, I can't show up empty handed. And man, this is an epic fruit stand. I have a feeling that I'll be eating a lot of fruit (and kettle corn) in the coming months.

I expected to see TC moved to a new stall. Apparently he opened the window on his stall where he gets fed through and then was playing with his neighbor. I was cool with that (he can't get out or climb), until I was told that he's done it a bunch and they're afraid that he was going to open his neighbor's door.

When I got there, he was still in his stall, but had a chain on his window. They said that other than playing with the chain constantly, he was staying in his stall and leaving his neighbor alone. I feel bad that he doesn't have friends to chat with, but it's probably best that he doesn't play too hard right now. Maybe next month he can move to a more open stall. They said they were going to see if he'd play with a jolly ball, they have an extra one. He has one but it's still at the old barn, I need to go get all my stuff out of there before the 15th so I'll pick it up and bring it out to him sometime.

Chained in, poor pony

He was a bit obnoxious about me being there- he's such a little kid. He had been totally fine before I arrived, but the second I was there, he turned back into the baby horse I know and love. He started pacing and staring at me while I talked to the people who run the place, so I stuffed him full of baby carrots. He's apparently doing very well, although he is convinced that he gets far too little treats and attention. Maybe he'll appreciate me a little more when he comes home and he won't be such a dingbat undersaddle? One can only hope.

For the curious, this is the rehab plan:

Meds:
TC got a long term tranq at his vet appointment on 12/21, and he'll get another one on 1/21 so that he stays quiet in the first couple of months that are so important.

He also got an IM injection of steroids to keep the suspensory from adhering to the splint bone (our main concern) at that vet appointment on 12/21 and has another one coming on 1/21. Just to generally reduce inflammation.

From 12/17 to 1/15, he will get 1g of bute in the morning and 1g of bute in the evening, and then from 1/15-1/31, he will get 1g of bute just in the morning. We want the inflammation down because the origin site is very small so there's no where for the swelling to go other than to just annoy the ligament.

Activity:
TC gets standing wraps on him 24/7 except when out of his stall. He's been chewing on them a bit, so they're going to put some RapLast (or equivalent) on there.

From 12/21 through 12/27, he got hand walked twice per day for 15 minutes each, wearing his sports medicine boots (which are hanging on his stall, I'm glad they aren't getting lost in what I assume is their many piles of SMBs) for extra support. My vet wants him to get the ligament stretching, but not so much stretching, so the boots apparently reduce 26% of the strain on the tendon? I dunno, don't quote me on that, just following vet's orders.

Starting 12/28, he is now being taught to use the eurowalker, and he'll do that for 2x/day 15 minutes each, working up from there.

Starting at the end of January, he'll be started on the aquapacer. I can't wait for this, I want to go watch once as he is used to it.

Losing his topline so he's all pointy again
(and those wraps are killing me)

So far, he's doing well on the eurowalker, and his leg looks FANTASTIC. I only got a glimpse of the very top where his wrap had sunk a bit (and I resisted redoing it, he's fine even if he doesn't have the world's most perfect pony club wraps on him all the time) and the swelling was completely down.

It was super fun to hang out with him, he was so sweet and cuddly, even if he was giving me a hard time for the carrots. I tried to teach him to smile, but that just made him mug me even more for carrots and the apple I had in my pocket, so we had to stop. We did a little bit of turns on the forehand and backing up too, just to give him some entertainment. He ate a whole bag of baby carrots and an apple. Normally I wouldn't give him so much, but his life sucks right now and I have no use for the food (I have apples and baby carrots at home! But bringing them to work and then the long drive to the rehab place seemed like overkill when I could just stop at the world's most awesome fruit stand).

Once as he was eating it was easier to get pictures

It didn't feel like enough time with him, I could only really be there for twenty minutes since they close visiting hours at 4. But it made me really sad to see him and I was almost glad to leave so I could start feeling normal again. When I'm distracted by work and teaching and commuting and playing on the internet (also making myself go on a hike on Monday and do yoga on Tuesday), I feel normal, I almost relish in not having a horse so I can do so many of the things I sacrifice when I have to go to the barn in the evenings. But when it really comes down to it and I have to face what I'm missing, I desperately want him back.

So the reality set in when I saw him that this isn't just a fun vacation from responsibility for me. This is a ST injury, yet another one. And this isn't a short time, it's going to take until at least April to be able to see him every day. And even after the rehab facility, I have a long while before I'm going to be able to ride him for real and a longer while before I'll stop being paranoid about his leg. If I ever do, I never did with Rico.

But it is what it is and he's doing well and I'm doing a good job of enjoying my time off of riding to the best of my ability. He gets new experiences like having to live in a box stall and going on the eurowalker/aquapacer/etc. I get to fix my wrist and go snowboarding (for the first time in 10 years! Once as I started teaching full time and then riding Rico at a high level, I never wanted to risk it. But I can break now!) and put some time into figuring out a fitness routine that works for me, and generally enjoy being horseless for the first time ever. Okay I say that but I'm driving out to ride horses for trainer friend tonight and negotiated exchanging getting jump lessons for teaching dressage lessons with one of my eventer friends...

Excited for dinner

And by the time I ride him again it will be warm and dry, he'll be at a facility where I'm positive that he'll be safe in his stall (plywood + drill + zip ties) and ridden in good footing, and I'll hopefully be in training with a great trainer who can help me bring him back safely and effectively. I'm going to start trainer shopping at his 60 day check up, so you all will get to see my process. I have two in mind who come extremely highly recommended and are generally known as the top two trainers in the area, but I'll be auditing a lot of lessons, looking at a lot of barns, and frustrating a lot of trainers/BMs with my incessant questions. I am the worst sort of client.

Should be a fun adventure this spring and summer! I'm still banking on a show this year, one way or another.

Broken Down Old Horse

Thursday morning (of last week, wow these posts are late) I woke up feeling much better about everything, having dropped TC off at his rehab place the day before. I didn't have any anxiety about going out in the rain to make attempts at wrestling wraps off my horse, chasing his leg around to cold hose him, and then wrestling wraps back onto my horse. Instead, I headed up to the barn to ride Rico, who had been TC's babysitter and so hadn't been ridden yet that week.

Too busy being a babysitter and not looking like a GP horse

It was raining on and off, so I took my time brushing all the dried mud off of him, picking all the wet mud out of his feet, and tacking him up. Rico went from being very happy to get attention to being a bit pissed off that attention was leading to being ridden. 

When the weather cleared, I swung into the tack and it felt so wonderfully familiar. Although man, he is wide, how did my SI joint survive so many years of riding him?!

Rico and I went straight to the arena, just because if the footing wasn't good enough I figured I'd go down the road. Luckily, although wet, the footing was fine for a bit of fun. I gave him a nice long walk warm up, with lots of circles and serpentines to loosen him up before trotting. 

But Rico felt terrible to trot and canter. He hadn't been ridden since Thanksgiving, and even then I only really rode him once or twice and we didn't do much. Rico was super lazy, he refused to do any lateral work and was struggling in passage. His piaffe was more like a slow trot. The changes were still great though, and I played with a few lines of 3s and 2s. But what was clear was that Rico is finally getting to a point of retirement where I can't just pull him out and school all the GP stuff anymore. I was slightly bummed, but understood that he wasn't going to last forever.

Not going to be this horse forever unfortunately

I took him down the road to get a change of scenery. We found some cows and goats, and Rico's enthusiasm for bovines spooked them a bit. Poor cows. 

We had the ability to either continue down the road or head down the dirt access road. Continuing along the line of torturing Rico, I saw that about half way down the dirt road were some pretty big puddles. So we wandered down that road. Poor Rico was made to walk through a puddle, because it stretched across the whole road so there was no way that we were going around it. The puddle was about 4' wide or so, so he couldn't even step over it. Such torture. TC, on the other hand, would have enjoyed walking through the puddles, probably so much that he wouldn't have gotten out of the puddle though.

At the end of the road, we stared at the vineyards for a second. I thought about walking him across the road down to the winery, but I had to get back for Christmas eve dinner and I felt bad that Rico was so pathetically out of shape.

Love this view

I went to turn and Rico coiled a bit. So I tipped forward and let him go. My poor, broken down old horse, who can't manage a few steps of passage or piaffe, who wouldn't go on the bit anymore... bolted. 

He was galloping as fast as he could (not impressive speed) and was darting sideways, dodging the smaller puddles, and then two large ones. 

We were rounding on that big one, the one that goes across the whole road (with two 8' no climb wire fences along the road) and I went to slow him down a bit. I stretched up and pulled back, but Rico was in TC's bridle (fat snaffle on a horse who has never respected such a soft bit) and my failed attempt at a downward transition merely set him up beautifully...

for a huge JUMP across the puddle. 

Now, the horse is not an event horse, so he does not understand jumping across things. So he got right up to the base of the puddle, I felt his front end pad the ground, hind legs coil under him, and he cracked his back over the top of the puddle, landing on the other side fairly lightly for a horse who really doesn't do anything more athletic than taking long naps and eating impressive amounts of food.

Someone got a lot of Christmas presents!

Afterwards he celebrated. He struck out and bucked and leaped around. By the end of the access road he was back to trot but full of it. We turned onto the main road and there he finally gave me his powerful piaffe. He transitioned seamlessly to passage, which he felt more than capable of doing. 

It was raining by this point, so we trotted the last segment of the road back to the ranch. Damn horse was totally sound and round at this point. If it hadn't been raining, I would have put him back in the arena and made him do his work RIGHT, but I caved and took him in. 

I was so glad that he was feeling good, he had me worried for a second. But he's a manipulative asshole, he knows how to play the crippled old horse card when he thinks that my ideas suck. I love him for it, but I do miss having a horse who thinks that all my ideas are the BEST IDEAS EVER. Visiting TC later today hopefully.

At Rehabilitation

On Wednesday, we hauled TC up to the rehab facility. I was pretty nervous, despite all the good recommendations and reviews of the place. Obviously for someone as type-A as I am, putting my horse's rehab in someone else's hands is nerve racking. Even if those people have a much better facility, are trained professionals, and have more time than I do.

We unloaded and TC was obviously really upset about the whole thing. I started feeling anxious about leading him around, since he really hasn't been walked very much. But the guy who runs the place immediately took him from me. I can't tell you the relief I felt once as TC was out of my hands and being led to his stall. Because this place is amazing and the people who run it are SO nice.

Trying on Rico's SMBs, which TC gets to wear for his limited
hand walks right now

First, the place itself. It's really cool, the layout is such where the horses have a LOT to look at, and from TC's stall, he can see two eurowalkers, the swimming pool, and the aquapacer. Those run all day long every day, so he will have a lot of activity going on.

There were horses doing all three things when we got there. The swimming pool is my favorite part. Apparently it's an amazing workout for them, usually when even fit horses start swimming, they can only do two laps before they're completely exhausted. And it's totally low impact on joints/tendons/ligaments. Amazing. The aquapacer is pretty cool, Rico was in one years ago but it was just a stand alone one which would fill with water. This one is long and the horses go into it on a ramp. They mostly have them walk, but some of the fitter horses (racehorses I bet) will trot through the water.

Then the eurowalkers are pretty normal, they have three of them. Some of the horses in there were hilarious, including a two year old racehorse stallion who had just ran a few days ago and was there for conditioning. He was pretty convinced that the eurowalker was WAY too slow and was rearing against his front panel and trying to bite it out of the way.

TC's stall is a box stall with 3 walls that go floor to ceiling. Then out the front he has bars like jail, no window for him just yet. They wanted to start him in it because I had told them about his climbing and his jumping. So until he's accepted his fate, no window for him. Poor baby horse. But honestly, the other stalls with windows are elsewhere, so he wouldn't have so many things to look at. He will eventually graduate to a 12x20 stall before he comes home (where I'm hoping to start him in a 12x26 before he goes to ideal barn with the big paddocks). I'll have to go out and cover the front of that one in no climb wire to keep my monkey horse from destroying more legs.

Swimming pool!!! 

TC broke my heart when he got in the stall. He was staring at me and screaming, turning around a lot, and threatening to rear and/or slam himself against the wall. It was hard to leave him to go get a tour of the facility but upon leaving, I didn't hear any more screaming.

As we came back, before TC saw me, he was standing quietly in his stall watching the eurowalker and the swimming pool with interest. The SECOND he sees me, he was like "oh right, I'm freaking out" and started screaming and trying to get out again.

I felt like I was dropping my kid off at kindergarten for the first time, where the kid freaks out and won't let you leave and you feel like the worst person, but then you leave and the kid is totally fine. I was completely that kid. And now I'm getting my comeuppance.

So instead of hanging around very much, we just left. As much as I wanted to hang out with him and tell him it was okay and delay having to resign myself to seeing him once a week at the most... it was best for him if I left and let him adjust on his own.

Aquapacer on the right, swimming pool straight ahead

It will be a really great experience for him. I know that even though this is a horrible injury to happen to my four year old horse, and I'm still really devastated to have to go through another rehab, another several years where every move I make with that horse comes with the anxiety that another injury will occur... this is actually a really good thing for us. He will get more life experience having to adjust to another lifestyle at yet another barn (we're at barn #5 that he's stayed overnight at vs only one barn when I bought him).

And I finally feel a bit more free, as sad as that sounds. I haven't been able to ride Rico or see many of my friends over this vacation, because I always had to be at the ranch taking care of TC and making sure he was okay 2-3x per day. Every time I had to do something to him, it made me feel anxious that he wasn't going to be good about it. And Rico couldn't leave his stall because he was TC's babysitter so I didn't get to ride him.

Although having him pretty far away will be sad, and I will miss going to the barn every day, but I've got Rico and a client's horse to ride this week and next, and then I'll start riding horses for trainer friend and hopefully that will hold me over.


The internet here has been down for a couple days (I meant to post this on Thursday!) so I'm SUPER behind on blogging and reading blogs and everything! I'll be caught up soon enough. Hope everyone had an amazing Christmas.

A New Rehabilitation Plan

As I've hinted and then outright said yesterday, there are new plans unfolding.

TC is not handling being at the ranch. I can barely handle him on the ground (strength-wise, he's just a very strong horse so he's a lot to handle, he doesn't do anything scary).

The thing is though, I have to work, in another town, way too far from my parents' ranch to be any help for TC's rehab down there. My mom initially offered to do his rehab for several months, then I would take him back for the rest of his rehab. This is why he ended up at their ranch last Thursday.

However, after dealing with him this week, it's not fair to ask (okay I didn't ask, they offered, but I went along with it) my parents to deal with him.

He's cute but he's a lot of horse sometimes

The other option was to have me do the rehab. Meaning that I could put him at a barn near me and go see him to cold hose, hand walk, and bandage twice per day myself. But the thing with my job is that if I don't leave my house before 7am, I hit an insane amount of traffic. So that means that I will be doing all those things in a brand new barn that he's never been at (since I don't want to be at my current/old barn) in the dark and rain. For check ups, I would need to drive 3.5-4 hours round trip just to GET the trailer from my parents' place, then 4 hours round trip to get to the vet hospital, and another 3.5-4 hours to get the trailer back to my parents'.

That sounded like a drag. You know what didn't sound like a drag? Teaching dressage lessons. I love teaching. I already started offering to do more teaching for pony clubs, and Davis/Sac people, I might be coming your way to clinic too so let's get some lunch. Teaching is more fun than rehab.

This animal was easier to rehab

Where am I going with this? (you already know).

An hour east of my house is one of the best horse rehabilitation places in the state. They rehabilitate racehorses and sport horses regularly. Their team is specifically trained to handle crazy young racehorses, so my weird friesian cross should be fine. Included in the monthly fee (which is extremely reasonable, the only reason why I'd consider doing this) is a eurowalker, an aquapacer, icing whenever necessary, hay, grain, and bandaging. For a bit extra, they will even have your horse swim in their swimming pool! They also offer hauling to the various vet clinics (they work with my vet) for check ups, so all I would need to do is arrive at the vet clinic and meet them there.

So my options:

- set aside an hour in the morning and two hours at night every single day (no vacations, no days off) to rehab my horse, who I will probably end up murdering out of frustration as he tries to eat his bandages, fails to comprehend cross ties, paws through cold hosing, and runs me over while hand walking...

OR

- teach more dressage lessons on the weekends and drive an hour out to see TC on a weekly basis

Needless to say, it was an easy choice.

I'm not disappointed in the least. I'm actually sort of excited. TC has never seen a eurocizer or aquapacer. He's never lived in that sort of an environment or had any of those experiences. A year into owning him, he will have lived in six, possibly seven different places. I have a feeling that this injury may end up being a blessing in disguise, if he ends up coming back that is.

So TC leaves today for rehab. He will be there for at least 3 months, although I am probably going to try for 4-5 months. I want to time it so he comes back when he's strong enough where a few bucks or canter steps aren't going to be the end of the world. I also don't want to deal with rehabbing him in the dark and rain.

I'm not getting on this shit in the dark and the rain

After rehab, we won't be going back to our old barn. I'm on the list for ideal barn (and I JUST got in, but I got into a box stall so have to say no) but their paddocks probably won't be open for us until October, which is fine because their paddocks are a bit large anyway. There are two training barns near my house that I originally ruled out because they both have smallish paddocks. That will probably be a good thing when he comes back.

Both also have excellent trainers, which is amazing, since as I get on a 5 year old horse who is feeling strong and hasn't been ridden in 6 months, I should probably have an excellent trainer to help me. Luckily, both facilities have rated dressage shows all year long, so we may not be losing as much ground as I thought we would. We may still get to show at the end of the year was my plan anyway.

Can't wait to do this again

Details on my Secret Santa (OMG) and the rehab place later!

A Second Opinion

On Monday afternoon, I hauled TC back up to the vet clinic, where just four short months ago, I got the amazing news that he passed his vet check and that I'd be buying him. Ah how times have changed.

Let me reiterate what I had said then, I love my vet. My vet is actually a wizard. He works primarily with big fancy sport horses and has specialized in lamenesses in those big fancy sport horses for years and years. He saw that Rico was lame and needed surgery because his injured fetlock dropped slightly lower than his non-injured one. No headbobbing, no stepping short, just that one fetlock was below the other. Sure enough, the DDFT had a hole in it. A HOLE. Luckily TC is a bit more obvious with his injuries.

So no one was going to touch my horse from the second I found out this was soft tissue except for wizard vet. And he was pretty happy to see us too, he was probably thinking oh good, I thought I had gotten all the Ferraris and European vacations out of this client, good to see that she breaks her new horse too. I swear he probably called his wife after seeing me on the schedule and said honey, good news! Megan made a vet appointment, call the contractor, let's get that dream kitchen we always wanted! 

Drugs, we love them

I hauled TC up for our 2:30 appointment in the pouring rain, I was lucky that my dad volunteered to come with me because hauling in the dark and rain and rush hour traffic (on the way home) is terrifying.

We got there and TC was immediately pissed, his life is the worst right now and he wants everyone around him to suffer as much as he does. I put him in a stall there and he started slamming himself against the walls to get out. My vet rushed over and TC immediately got tranquilized. He then stood contently while I updated my vet. Drugs are the best.

I walked my then very quiet and polite baby horse over to the examination area, where he led perfectly and stood quietly while we talked and he got his legs shaved again. He then got more drugs and off we were on yet another ultrasound adventure.

Let me tell you this- even though I doubled my vet bills by doing a second opinion, it was SO worth it. I love wizard vet. I'm glad I got the first ultrasound since that made it obvious that we were dealing with ST (and I would have kicked myself for arranging all this hauling to find out that my horse had an abscess), but the second opinion made me take a big deep breath and firmly believe that this is going to be okay.

It's the funniest thing to see them together. Rico is actually
a solid two inches taller than TC. But TC has so much more
presence (and that neck set) which makes him seem bigger.

The injury isn't as bad as it seemed. He did rip it up a bit by the origin site, but it's only on the medial side and although it's a bit swollen, it's not as big as you'd expect it to be if it were really bad. Slightly further down (not where the swelling was- apparently that was literally nothing, no second tear) it also gets a bit inflamed as it tries to adhere itself to the medial splint bone. My vet thinks that it was a big accident where he fell off his fence and also hit it pretty hard, since a lot of the time the suspensory will do this when the interosseus ligament (the ligament that runs around the cannon + splint bones and when irritated, creates a splint) is inflamed, and that happens when the horse has a blow to his stupid dumb leg.

So we're pretty much confirmed that TC was climbing his fence and fell. Phew. Vet says it isn't chronic, not from regular wear and tear, so if he comes back 100%, he will be 100% (unlike Rico whose DDFT was from wear and tear and poor conformation, meaning that there was always a risk that his regular work load would cause problems again).

The thing with the suspensory trying to adhere itself to the splint bone is that if it manages to do it, we're facing surgery or a chronic suspensory injury. LUCKILY right now the suspensory injury is considered acute and is considered a contusion, so will go down in his records as such. IF it adheres, it will be considered a separate injury. So if I want to get insurance now, the insurance will cover him if he needs surgery (but won't cover anything right now). Definitely thinking about doing that.

This view again, ugh

Regardless, obviously we want to prevent this because I don't want yet another horse who needs fucking surgery to make him sound enough to prance around in a sandbox. I'm not trying to event him, I'm not trying to jump him 5' (well, maybe I should), I'm not looking to do endurance on hard ground up and down hills for many miles. I literally just want to trot around in perfect footing for 45 minutes 5x per week. What the fuck indeed.

To prevent this we have to... wait. Ugh. I was like INJECT IT WITH ALL THE THINGS, I swear I was sitting there shoving my checkbook in his face. But since there is no hole in it (woohoo), there is no place for injections to go and injecting anything into the origin site (which is between the splint bones- very small area) will merely piss off the whole thing and make it adhere MORE. So what we need to do is look at it in two months and see what is happening.

Apparently, Rico's suspensory (omg suspensory twins ftw! I hate horses) was at risk of doing this too and it never did. I totally forgot about that part of that injury.

The main thing, my vet said, is to keep TC from doing more damage while in rehab. So we're planning two things.

1) TC got a long term tranquilizer that will kick in about 5-6 days from now. He'll get another in 30 days.
2) TC is going to a rehab facility.

I will go over the reasons for rehab in tomorrow's post, but it's the best thing for everyone involved.

So ready to be done with this

Generally, my vet was pretty happy with what we saw and seems positive that everything is going to be okay. I'm glad that (at least for now) I didn't have the option for PRP or stem cells, since I am always worried that they will tell me how much it will be and I will have to say no. My vet had a better schedule than the other vet, TC can start the eurociser (or aquapacer) in a week and I can start riding in 3-4 months.

Although I am planning on being a bit more conservative than my vet thinks. I told him that TC will likely not cooperate with "trot 30 seconds, walk 1 minute" and that rehab will be more like "gallop 30 seconds, be held back by terrified rider 1 minute" so I want to make sure he is strong enough where if he launches me and turns himself out, that I won't feel the need to rush him to the vet.

So I'm feeling more positive but a little more nervous. When it's a big unknown it's easy to just assume it's a typical suspensory injury, but knowing there's a chance of adherence is frustrating. But my vet feels pretty sure that we're in the clear and I really hope this is the case. Either way, TC needs to quiet the fuck down and be a good boy for his rehab so that he doesn't spend a life in pasture being used as an up down lesson horse and a light trail horse (I've begun making decisions on what to do with him if he can't stay sound). Come on baby horse. 

Comparisons

Since I've now had two horses on rehab, I thought I'd compare them for fun. Because this is NOT fun (although I feel totally fine now, I have some really great plans that I will be revealing to you all as they unfold), but I may as well try to make it seem fun.

THIS beautiful thing came in the mail on Friday! Definitely
a pick-me-up after a long shitty week

Rico's rehabs:
13 years old (suspensory), 14-15 years old (DDFT), 16 years old (check)
Owned for 4 to 7 years
Lived in a box stall before
Can jump 5'
Bandaged regularly (for pony club)
Understands cross ties
Totally sane
World's best horse

TC's rehab:
4 years old (suspensory)
Owned for 4 months (ridden for 1 year)
Never lived in a box stall
Shouldn't be able to jump 5'
Rarely bandaged
Doesn't understand cross ties
Not all together sane
World's most okayest horse


Bandaging Rico:
1. Put horse in cross ties, horse falls asleep and rests one back foot
2. Get bandages out, reroll track wrap and padding, horse continues to doze
3. Wrap white padding around leg, adjusting as necessary
4. Wrap track wrap around padding, adjusting as necessary and leaving one half inch of padding outside of track wrap
5. Give horse a cookie

Beautiful perfect wraps after his DDFT

Bandaging TC:
1. Put horse in cross ties, horse threatens to rear
2. Try to explain to horse that cross ties are just another way to be tied and that he should not rear in them
3. Reroll bandages while trying to keep horse's feet on the ground
4. Grow third arm
5. Using third arm, hold horse's lead rope to keep most legs on the ground
6. Wrestle white padding around leg with first two hands, using third hand to yank at rope when horse paws, strikes out, or moves
7. Hold padding on and grab track bandage, which probably unraveled a bit while wrestling with horse's leg
8. Wrap track wrap around padding, following horse around
9. Leave no padding on outside of wrap because horse will yank at it
10. Spray wraps with Raplast and praise horse profusely for not stepping on you... that much

No white padding showing = bandages that don't get yanked off

Cold Hosing Rico:
1. Hook leg soakers to hose
2. Wrap leg soakers around horse's leg
3. Turn on hose
4. Read a book, watch tv, do your taxes, take a nap, tell horse how amazing he is

Okay see you in 20 minutes, Rico, I'm going to
go run some errands

Cold Hosing TC:
1. Drag horse to wash rack
2. Wrestle horse into cross ties
3. Remind horse what cross ties are
4. Start spraying horse's leg
5. Follow horse around with hose
6. Horse starts to paw with nose between legs, accidentally spray chin
7. Horse loves chin sprays, decide to give horse chin sprays because his life sucks right now
8. Horse learns that pawing leads to chin sprays, will not stop pawing
9. Give up on cold hosing

Chin sprays are the best

Cleaning Rico's Stall:
1. Clean stall
2. If horse gets in the way, push him away lightly, horse will move and respect  your space


Cleaning TC's Stall:
1. Start to clean stall
2. Horse arrives almost directly on top of you
3. Push at horse to get him away
4. Horse leans into your hand
5. Poke horse with handle of pitchfork
6. Horse appreciates being massaged
7. Move away from horse
8. Horse lets you grab one pitchforkful, then repeats step 2
9. Repeat steps 3-8 indefinitely


Second opinion with wizard vet is today!

It comes at a good time because TC JUMPED out of his paddock (5' fence) on Friday to terrorize Riot. Needless to say he is now locked in the stall with 8' walls. As L said perfectly, if it weren't for his circumstances, this would be excellent news! So today I'm also going to have my vet check the other leg's ST structures as well just in case. Fingers crossed for good news.

Oh hey there check ligament (Rico)

TC isn't handling himself very well, but he has started to accept his fate (no more rearing in the cross ties and he actually stands still sometimes for his cold hosing/bandaging.

It's actually hilarious to watch him and Rico. Poor Rico has been locked in as well (he gets to go to his porch though) to keep TC company, so Rico has taken it upon himself to back me up. When TC tries to get in my space in the stall or is pawing in the cross ties and I yell "QUIT" at him, Rico sneers at TC. I like to think that Rico is saying "stupid horse, LISTEN to Megan, she is awesome" rather than him thinking that I'm yelling at him and him saying to me "FUCK you I'm not doing anything wrong."

I wish I could ride Rico, but TC needs a baby sitter (lest he jump out the front of the stall) so Rico is stuck. Hopefully I'll be able to ride him later this week.

Ruby gives no fucks about anyone else's comfort

I've Been Here Before

Wednesday night I got texts and facebook messages and instagram comments from so many wonderful people. Then yesterday's blog post with so many comments, ah I can't tell you how much that meant to me. It may seem like a small thing that my horse is hurt (I even think my response was a grand overreaction but it's hard not to feel that way after so many soft tissue injuries with Rico), but it felt like a massive weight on my chest and the support I received chipped away at it until little by little it became manageable.

Going to miss seeing him every day

I stopped by the barn on Thursday morning at 6am to change his wrap and give him bute. Unfortunately he had ripped off the wrap on his good leg and yanked on the padding on the wrap on his bad leg. BAD PONY. Those were Rico's wraps and they did a damn good job making him all better and I do not want to replace them. So I rewrapped the bad leg (the good leg's track wrap was ripped, I don't care about those as much as I do about the padding since they don't seem to make no-bows like that anymore) and made sure to cover up the padding so that he had nothing to grab. Then it was off to work I went, waiting patiently to hear that TC got picked up and hauled down to yet another new place for him to live.

Wonderfully, everything at work went smoothly and I even had some fun with my coworkers at our holiday lunch. Then took off as early as I could to pick up my kitty and clothes for the week (although I'll be back in my town a couple of times this week for socialization purposes anyway, so I wasn't careful about what I brought), and headed down to the ranch to see my two horses. I love working from home on Fridays, I would have been worried if I couldn't see him on his first night.

I got there a bit later than I had hoped, but Jade settles in incredibly quickly at new places. She got out of her carrier, looked around, and immediately jumped up to her favorite place on the couch. Once as everything was squared away in my temporary living space, I headed up to the barn with my mom.

TC gets the stall in between Riot and Rico, although he is probably going to be switched so he is on the end and only has Rico next to him just to keep him a bit quieter since Riot spooks and runs a bit more. Luckily for TC, the grass is getting too green to let those fatties out all day, so he doesn't have to be alone. TC gets the cushiest stall he's ever had in my parents' fancy barn, then gets to go out onto a 12x16 paddock, 12x12 of which is covered. So he has a few feet where he can stand in the rain if he so chooses. The entire thing is covered in no climb wire because I need to stop my monkey horse from busting any more ligaments.

He was pretty wired

So far, Rico fucking hates him. I'm not sure if it is because he somehow thinks that TC is replacing him (this is me anthropomorphising though, because he hated TC even before I got there and revealed to Rico that TC was my horse), or if there's just something about TC that is annoying. I certainly think so sometimes. TC is afraid of Rico, so he stayed away from him and then kept checking to make sure he wasn't annoying Rico. That probably annoyed Rico.

Riot scares TC too, which I think is hilarious because I didn't think Riot could scare anyone if he tried. Riot thinks its pretty great that he scares TC. I caught him charging at the side of the stall at TC who then spooked at him. Poor baby horse, but he always does best when he is put in his place and told what to do. I think Rico will warm up to him once as he realizes that TC will play with him a bit. And Riot is already better today, playing with TC a little bit.

After I hugged Rico (who wouldn't even look at me when I got there for a good long while) and telling him that he should be GLAD that he was replaced, I employed my mom to help me with redoing TC's wrap.

It's been about twenty five years since my mom had an obnoxious young horse, so my main goal this week is to get TC being polite about his treatment so that she can continue it to whatever degree she is able to. She talked a big game about how much she'd be able to do and I thanked her profusely for her intentions, but told her to wait to see how he was doing.

Waiting for the vet

Sure enough, TC was a piece of shit. It's not his fault, he was plucked from his barn after not being exercised for a couple of weeks, stuffed in a new barn, and then on top of that, he had to handle... brace yourself... CROSS TIES. He's never been truly cross tied, so he experienced that for the first time and started rearing. Then we had a LOT of pawing and general shifting around. Luckily he's quiet in his stall though!

Getting the wrap off was an adventure, but his leg looked FANTASTIC. Zero swelling, zero heat, it's as if the injury never happened. I was SO HAPPY. Even Rico's check (a relatively minor injury- no tearing, just inflammation) took weeks to get the swelling down. This was down in two days with just two grams of bute per day. I had to describe in detail where the injury actually was to my mom, since she hadn't seen it when it was big and puffy. She said that wouldn't it be interesting if it was a mistake on the ultrasound, one can only hope.

I managed to wrestle tighten up, gauze pads, a gauze wrap, vetwrap, and a bit of elasticon on his leg, then put a standing wrap over it. Then the wrap got sprayed with RapLast, something I picked up at the tack store before I headed down last night. Let me tell you, this shit is like pepper spray, I sprayed his wrap and a little bit misted near my eye and I felt like I was going to die. So I'm assuming that it will work and that my wrap will be intact today.

The horse even looks like TC bahaha

As for a second opinion, I'm hauling TC up to my vet's clinic on Monday afternoon. Hopefully the ligament will be as tight as it can be by then so that we can get a very good look at what exactly he did without the pesky swelling in the way. Once as we have that, I'll have a good idea of what the future holds.

I'm super excited for my vet to get a look at it after seeing it last night. With a reduced board cost in the future + teaching all week (ALL WEEK, I just don't take vacations I guess), the cost of treating him doesn't feel as daunting. So he may be getting an injection at the origin site if my vet thinks that will help it heal. I want to give him the best opportunity, within reason, to heal completely. If the injury was just an accident, as long as it heals completely, we shouldn't have any more problems with it. As long as I can keep my damn kid off the monkey bars.

This was how I was greeted last night

By the way, I was thinking that wrapping was going to be tricky after I leave, so people who have used BOT, especially for ST, talk to me of your experiences!

I have the quick wraps that I bought for Rico years ago but ended up not using. I've thought about selling them but kept putting it off. I was realizing that TC could probably wear them in the front and that it might be an easy way to keep the leg protected (especially from just him banging on it, I think by then the swelling will be down so he won't need so much pressure on the leg) and also increase blood flow to help healing. I will ask my vet about it, but please tell me of your experiences!

An Answer

There's a quick summary at the bottom if you want answers right away. This post is kind of dramatic, sorry about that, I wrote it last night when I was in a terrible mood and I'm not going to fix it. I am doing better this morning.


Wednesday morning I basically sat useless at my desk wondering how my horse was. I hadn't gone to the barn in the morning to see him because I'm not sleeping well so getting up at 4:45 was not an option.

It got to be 12:15 and I couldn't stand it anymore, I headed out to the barn. While I was driving there, I got a call saying that the vet was running an hour late. Woops, sorry office, but I was literally just looking up "abscess traveling up leg" and "swelling in middle of leg" and "why do my horses try to maim themselves all the time?" the entire time I was in the office.

I love this picture of him :) he's like "wait... I like work, can we
go back to the arena?"

TC had tried to take off his wraps, so they were a little bit bunched, but the WTF swelling was way down, still there but much smaller. He was still quite off at the trot, but sound at the walk.

I stuck him back in his stall to hang out while I sat and tried to read a book on one of the benches. I was swinging heavily between it's not that bad, probably just the abscess being crazy, he'll be fine and I bet he broke his leg into many pieces and the only thing holding it together is my hopes and dreams. I started feeling really sick so opted to play really stupid ipad games while cuddling the barn kitty until the vet called to say they were ten minutes away.

I got him out and brushed him, took some conformation pictures, hoping that this was not going to be the best he looked for the next year.

The vet arrived and was generally very nice, although a bit happy for my taste. Nothing like calling the vet out to come look at your broken horse and having them be happy (lol). She immediately commended me for getting the swelling down (hey I mean this isn't my first WTF leg swelling) as she poked and prodded at him, then grabbed her clippers and started making way for an ultrasound. No blocking, no hoof testers, it was obvious even then what it was. I didn't want to think about it, but I had a good idea what it was based on his response to her prodding in that one terrible location.

Trail ride this summer

TC got some good drugs that kept him quiet even though the barn we were in was getting construction done on it. I was really proud of him for being calm about all the noise and horses running around even in his drugged state. But I still probably wouldn't have sat so close to his big feet even when he was so sleepy.

I'm not the greatest at reading an ultrasound but even I could see the unhappy place at the origin of the suspensory where it had torn away from his leg. I could see the completely dense ligament become moth eaten as she went over the place where his leg had swelled so big the day before. The branches looked good though. Isn't it the little things in life? Hey at least this small portion of this extremely important structure that basically holds your horse's leg together doesn't look as fucked up as the rest of it does.

Still my favorite picture of him on the ground

She wasn't as good as my vet, who I am going to bring on for a second opinion once as I have the ultrasound pictures taken yesterday. She wouldn't give me a percentage for the tearing. She wouldn't tell me if it was horrible or mild. But a suspensory torn in two places is never mild, I kept thinking.

I kept my shit together, which honestly was amazing at this point because horrible thoughts were echoing in my mind, as we discussed his prognosis in vague terms. Because again, although happy vet is nice and does her job well, she is not my wonderful wizard of a vet who can predict the future. But TC can have a small paddock off of a box stall, he gets bute 2x per day, he gets surpass 2x per day, he gets wrapping all the time for 2 weeks, cold hosing for 2 weeks, and he gets 6 full months off of riding. He's only been being ridden for a little more than twice that amount of time. He's so young, I kept thinking.

Love that nose

I'm amazed I didn't burst into tears right then, hearing that I wouldn't sit on him again for six months, longer than I've owned him. I saved the tears for after the vet left. I locked myself in my car for a good long while, curled in a ball, doing my best to go back in time. They always say that you can't control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it, so I chose to react badly.

Thoughts like I can't believe this is happening to me again and he is so young turned quickly against me into what do I do to my horses that I've now had four soft tissue injuries in six years? and there's no way in hell I should be allowed to own a horse and at what point does this stop being bad luck and start being my fault? because my brain is hardly nice to me when things like this happen.

I relayed such thoughts to my mother, who is basically the best mom ever invented because the second that my text "suspensory" came in, she made arrangements to set up their barn for my second broken horse and to come grab him from so far away today. I can't believe how much I lucked out in the parent department, as my cost to keep TC just dropped significantly, opening up doors for treatment options.

Going to miss this view

So I sit here, the night before this post goes out, alternating between this cold hard numbness (when I can actually type) and just sadness (when I sit with my kitty and cry like a child). So much of me wants to go back to a happier time. This summer, riding with Barbi and Tracey, going on trail rides. Even back to that time where I had several cavities that needed to be filled and the drugs didn't quite mask the pain enough, that day was a blast. And I would adore going back to the day I had to break up with the man I thought I was going to marry, then move out of the house we shared together and back into my parents' place for the rest of graduate school where I had to see him every day. It would be a joy to return to that day.

It's sort of hilarious how much more important a horse can be than all those other things.

As for the future, I don't know, I'm not thinking further ahead than May. But for now, TC will be at my parents' ranch resting and learning from Rico that rehab doesn't always have to be a bad thing. Different scenarios are flying through my head on how to handle this, what the future holds for TC, what the future holds for me.

I'm trying not to think about what this means for my riding between now and May, because when Rico was lame, I was still a horse trainer, riding 6-8 horses per day. Sure, I preferred Rico, but I still got to ride. Now I am horseless. I mean I'm sure there are horses I can ride, and I am thinking about those options and am going to figure something out. I know plenty of trainers who would let me sit on horses, I have friends with horses, my clients would relish in the opportunity for free training rides, or I could just take some time off. But I don't think I can take six months off of riding, I feel like that wouldn't be setting me up well to get on a then five year old horse who hadn't been ridden in six months.

So interested in everything

Regardless of what happens this winter/spring, for the rest of this week/weekend and into next week/weekend, I do have a horse. My sweet wonderful Rico, the horse who came back from injuries quite a bit worse than the one that my completely undeserving young horse is suffering from. So we're going to have a bit of fun this week. He was always the best at cheering me up, even if he was often the reason why I was down.


Alright for you impatient people:
What is it? TC tore his RF suspensory in two places (at the origin away from the bone and then about half way down).

How did he do it? Very likely it was an accident in his paddock, he hasn't done anything recently that would result in a healthy ligament ripping away from the bone. I think it's from climbing in his paddock and then having his heel slip backwards off of the railing. From now on, he will always have plywood or no climb wire on his paddock fences.

What is the prognosis? For now he is going to be at my parents' ranch on stall rest and while he is there, I will get my wizard vet down to give me an actual treatment and rehab plan. Tentatively he is on stall rest until May and then I will start him back with tack walking.

Are you bringing Rico back? No, as it stands now, Rico will stay at my parents' place too, there is an extra spot. First, I need to make an adult decision to not take on additional costs, as my parents' place is cheaper than my current boarding situation. Second, Rico is not the soundest thing in the world now that he isn't being maintained and I don't know how he would hold up to regular work. I'm not willing to do a bunch of injections or put him back on his fancy shoeing cycle (he's in straight shoes at 5 weeks now down from 3 weeks + pads) just so I have something to bop around on for six months.

Will you be riding? I don't know yet. I want to keep riding to keep my fitness and coordination up so that when TC comes back, I won't get launched. I have a lot of options as to how to keep riding (including taking part time work as someone's assistant, riding for trainer friends, riding friends' horses, riding clients' horses), but I will be exploring those options once as I see how much time I have and how much/in what context I want to ride. I generally do not enjoy catch riding as much as I enjoy having my own horse.

How are you doing? I'm doing fine as long as people don't remind me how sad this is, please try not to make me cry at work! This is not the world's worst thing that ever happened to anyone. Although this post is kind of dramatic, but I wrote it last night and I wrote this summary today when I'm feeling better.