Eliminating Baggage

Thanks everyone for your kind words about my job! I officially accepted the offer today and am now scrambling to get everything all ready for my start date in two weeks. I'm now no longer a dressage trainer (although I'm keeping a few clients), it feels good. And it's apparent in my ridiculous struggles this weekend at the clinic.

Sunday morning was the morning of what is probably going to be my last clinic for a while, so I was determined to get something really great out of it. I rode with Barbi Breen-Gurley, an S judge down in Southern California. I’ve never ridden with her and have never audited her, which goes against my always-audit-before-clinics rule, but I break that rule all the time. I looked up a few tests that she rode on youtube and was super impressed with her. Her horses are so light and steady, something I value so much and want to ensure of TC’s training. I also looked up what people thought of her on COTH and such, nothing that anyone said gave me red flags, so off I went!

After enjoying a beach day on Saturday! SIL and I rented boogie
boards and played in the freezing cold water. I remember saying
"I'm finally used to the water!" and then realizing that I was
actually just completely numb. 

We arrived right on time to do some longeing and for me to hop on. Boy am I getting brave about the amount of time I leave for my baby horse to load into a trailer by himself, be quiet on the longe line, and be quiet undersaddle. But the lesson was 45 minutes and I normally ride him 30-40 with no longeing, so I didn’t want to exhaust him. I also wanted to work through any tension or retraction in the neck with Barbi. Sure I don’t get a lot of that at home anymore, but getting her opinion on how to fix it was invaluable as it is likely that I will be moving him within the next month and will need to reinstall the relaxation, connection, and throughness, possibly with little to no help.

Longeing was fine, he was super relaxed and soft, yet responsive. I got on and we went into an arena we had never been in, so he was a little questionable. Nothing horrible, but he was looking around a lot so he started to get rigid and I started to get rigid. I was happy when Barbi showed up to call me out on all of my shit from the get go.

Much more relaxed (but just as impressive) than this

The biggest takeaway, which I’ll say now since I will reference it a few times, is that I have baggage from Rico that is negatively (and positively, I mean I have a lot of confidence in my training ability because of him) affecting the way that I am training this horse. So keep that in mind as I go on and on about it.

We talked a bit and I told her his story- I started working him in January and did a lot of his training on my own. I told her a little bit about my story- Gold medal last year, GP horse retired, having fun while struggling to ride at the lower levels again on such a tricky green horse. Our biggest new-place problem is tension, retraction in the neck, and my idiot attempts at matching his rigidity instead of fixing it. When we’re at home we are working on alignment and throughness.

This actually happened, right? Because sometimes I ride like
I have never done this shit before in my life.

She had such nice things to say about TC. It felt really great, since I feel like I kind of saw through the ugly in the beginning. Ali and I have been his biggest advocates in terms of him being a quality dressage horse, which is not to say that other people don’t like him, but it’s a western barn and he’s kind of big and gangly. Barbi agreed and took her praises even further. She says his gaits are fantastic and he’s an amazing horse, I just need to be sure not to fuck it up (my words!). She commended his walk and trot, and said that his canter was good but lacked strength.

We started with leg yields, a little off the rail and a little back. Then some turns on the forehand. She wanted me to use a whip so I had Ali (who came to watch, I’m going to miss my awesome supportive barn!) run to the trailer to get it. She kind of got after me for not using one. I told her that I was so reliant on Rico with the whip that I had wanted to avoid using it on TC (baggage). TC also doesn’t respond too well to it, as evident by his kicking a few times at it. Eventually he caught on though.

This guy, really? One of the first "conformation" pictures I
have of him

Barbi emphasized precision, but not in an unyielding way- she didn’t care if he whinnied or ran sideways or looked at stuff. She said he was just a baby, still sucking his thumb. But precision as in small movements to fix problems (baggage). I rode down the long sides and she had me flex him to the left for 8-10 steps, then go straight, then flex him to the right. Not enough to be noticeable, just enough where I felt like I had him between my reins. I think if someone was watching, they’d just have seen me going in a straight line. Really small, precise movements. I liked this a lot, because he gives me such a great feeling in the bridle that I assume he's totally between both reins, and a lot of the time he is. But I need to ask him questions about it, rather than just assume he gets it, so that he really truly learns what it means to be between my reins. 

She wanted me to be MUCH lighter. I don’t see myself as a heavy rider, certainly not, but I do get rigid when he does (baggage). Every time I had to use a rein aid, she wanted me to give, much more than I was used to. Even my aids had to be lighter unless he wasn’t getting it. TC was a little confused and refused to stretch into contact at first, but then he started listening harder and stepped up. I know on this blog I’ve gone on about how great he is in the contact. That contact is now COMPLETE FUCKING SHIT. This contact was electric, not only was he right there as he always is, I also felt like the tiniest minuscule aid would go right through him. Completely and utterly connected. I can’t imagine it getting better than this, but that's how he felt before, making me further believe that everything can always get better and more magical.

Not a great representation of how he's been going at home due
to my rigidity but this here, this is shit

She nailed me on the engagement thing that Tracey had nailed me on a few months ago. But I finally 100% understand what I need to do, and TC handled the change a lot better than he had at Tracey’s clinic. I think he’s ready for it now. Basically the pace I have him going at is too big and fast (baggage and baggage). Barbi said that he had big gaits, like super big, and I’m thinking more about the scope than the strength and I’m risking scaring him (personally I think he trusts me enough where he won’t get too scared but I get her point).

So I need him to slow down and learn to engage a little bit better, be better balanced. I stopped and we talked about the nagging (baggage). She basically said “well don’t,” and we had a laugh about that. But I pressed further, asking if it was okay to push him into a bit of a bigger trot to make my point about the forward. She said yes but that I have to go back to the engaged trot. I can’t recreate how she said it, because it’s more than that, but it was perfectly clear to me. I have such baggage about Rico being lazy that I’m letting my issues with Rico’s laziness transfer and TC is being run off his feet in the process. No more of that.

The canter was questionable, she had me work on the timing of my aid from trot to canter (which has always been a weakness of mine). I have to ask when the inside front leg is on the ground, and she insinuated that posting into it wasn’t a bad thing, but that I had to be on the wrong diagonal. The canter itself was kind of shitty, she had me on a 20 meter circle and got on my case about not riding him on small enough circles. I agree, I’ve been choosing to ride on larger figures to help with the quality (no regrets, his canter is much better) but I do need to push him more at the canter.

Or does the horse just need more cookies?

Overall, it was such an amazing lesson. I loved her teaching style for a few reasons.

First, she was incredibly enthusiastic about TC. It’s so nice to hear those things from someone who judges at the Grand Prix level and has presumably seen a lot of really nice horses. I didn't ask her how far she thought he could go, but I left feeling more confident about his abilities than I have ever felt. I don't think he'll be my next Grand Prix horse, but Sunday morning was the first time I felt a tiny inkling that if he stays sound and if I make the right decisions, there is a chance that I could at least make it back to the FEI levels on him. I would love that. Anything after Third with him will be icing on the cake. 

Second, I love a clinician that talks constantly, and we were always interacting. We even stopped and talked about a few concepts here and there and it felt like she really cared what I had to say and never dismissed me. Her theory was on point, and she explained it well. If I didn’t get it, she’d reexplain it in a different way. We came back to engagement vs energy so many times and she explained it in a different way each time. I finally got it at the end.

He listens well too

Third, she managed to give me a massive kick in the pants without making me feel bad about myself or my horse. I have zero excuses for the bad habits that I've developed in the last eight months on this baby. It was obvious that she expected much better of me. She told me that I should know better about a few things that I was doing, like the rigidity, like the baggage I’m carrying from Rico. But she always made it feel like she was on my side. That she wasn’t blaming me for how I had been doing, just that she wanted me to know that I was capable of more and that I should step it up for myself. It was really empowering to essentially hear “you’re not riding like a Grand Prix rider, knock that off.” Basically, her phrasing could have been so much meaner but she made me downright excited to ride this week. So sad that I am moving even further away from her. 

So yeah, if it isn't obvious, I highly recommend her as a clinician. 

On the way back, TC forgot how to horse and picked a fight with the trailer. He scraped off part of his gaskin and got a tiny cut on his pastern. Oh well. We sprayed some Aluspray on it (totally getting this when I buy him, it went in my ever growing Riding Warehouse shopping cart).

No bleeding on this, just scraped off all his hair

Cut and his chippy toes, I'm also going to buy
a rasp to delay my farrier visits too

Sunday night I spent with family. I have some really great family members. I have some family members who are super supportive. I have others who think that they are being supportive but their support is incredibly condescending and made me hide in the bathroom for a while (worth it, I finished Serial in there, so good!). Those family members make me a little glad that I'll be moving a bit further away from them.

My to do list has quadrupled with this move. So many loose ends to tie up- finishing at part time job, finding housing, finding barns, emailing clients, getting vet check, and I'm having a bit of car drama (which is resolving itself, I'll update later on that). And I need to finish my thesis. Luckily on Monday, I have the whole day to work on things. I'm going to power through that to do list and my thesis! Orrrr I'm going to read all of your blogs and go shopping for work clothes.