Things Are Looking Up

I went to the doctor on Monday! I had previously only been to urgent care, so this was a regular  doctor visit. The purpose was primarily to get a note that said I could work from home while I recover, but also to check on the illness to see how it was progressing and ask a few more questions.

This was a new doctor and I got some questionable information... enough where I grabbed an appointment with someone else afterward. Essentially I was told I could go back to work now and could start riding and lifting whenever I felt like it, as mono is a self limiting virus and those aren't  contact sports. I mean, until I hit the ground from fatigue, right?

This is the only actual mono comic I've found

I mean, it's exactly what I wanted to hear, but after spending two full weeks feeling like crap and having to sit down half way through our brief conversation to rest... it didn't feel right to me. 

Doctor number two saw me after a poke lunch (yay, it was so good) and gave me much more normal information. I think I will keep this one. The good news is that I got the note, got HR's approval, and started working from home Tuesday, I plan on working as many 9-10 hour days as I can to make up hours from my two weeks off. 

The other good news is that I get to ride on June 4th! She said to wait a month after symptoms started (May 4th-ish, my first official sick day was May 6th but I felt like crap on the 4th and 5th) and then ease back into it. The biggest risk is my spleen rupturing if I were to fall. 

Not coming off if I'm sitting behind these perfect
brown ears!

I'm obviously being a little bit of an idiot about it, as I plan on sitting on Rico this weekend. That's just Rico though. Then the following weekend, I'll ride Sunny to see where my fitness is at before getting on TC. 

Speaking of TC, I went straight to the barn after the doctor's to see him! It was raining all weekend, so I stayed home and recovered from Friday's TC adventure. By Monday, I was feeling way better! Even after my doctor fiasco! I took TC out and we got to the turnout, I wasn't tired yet, but he was wild, so I put him in there and let him run around and buck a bit. I stood most of the time he was playing and then was still feeling good, so grabbed him and took him to the cross ties. I managed to curry him, brush  him, pick out his feet, and have a conversation with Kate before taking him home.

When I got home, I was feeling totally fine! I mean, walking up my stairs was still hard, I still felt nauseous, and I sat down all day Tuesday to recover, but it's really good progress toward being mostly human again. 

I'm hoping to be able to longe him this week when the round pen opens (we've gotten a crazy amount of rain for it being nearly June). Then the first week of June, I'll be back on him! That's like ten days away! 

The  most fun but also would rupture my spleen without really
understanding what he did

It's been nearly three weeks and I'm supposedly half way through being sick, but other than missing work, life is feeling more normal. It won't be totally normal until I can go back to work and crossfit, but riding is right around the corner and it's been nice to have something to do for 8 (err or 10) hours a day. I'm also pretty certain I could start doing easier body weight movements if I'm allowed to ride. 

This weekend should be fun even outside of sitting on Rico. I'm going to try to go to the little festival I always go to over memorial day weekend. I can normally do the whole thing in an hour, but I expect that I can't do an hour of walking straight with no breaks, so I expect to be sitting down a lot... I still want to go, as I think it will be a good test to see how much I can do in a day to see if I can start teaching again. 

WW: The Last Time We Were Out There

Unknowingly, I was coming down with mono while on this ride, but TC was amazing and I wanted to share a few pictures.

It was such a nice day out on the trails, not too warm but not windy like it was before. We just stuck with our shorter loop. TC was amazing as usual. Two bikes zipped by us and he just looked quietly after them, and we had to herd a cow out of the way of the trail and he thought that was super fun.

I spent the entire time on a loose rein with my feet out of the stirrups, focused more on my audiobook than my horse. It felt so nice to have a ride like that! I can't wait to be back out there!

Remote/Video Lessons

I've had some inquiries that since I'm sick, would I be willing to teach video lessons and/or remote lessons. Despite the impostor syndrome, I am very bored, so the answer is very much yes. Though I have never done anything of the sort.

Remote lessons would be at my normal non-travel rate, which I think is in the realm of a normal Gold-Medalist-but-not-CDI-competitor-or-judge instructor, at least in this area. I have high speed internet, a cell phone, and skype/the ability to download a skype-like video messenger.

Video lessons would be significantly less, as I can do those a little more randomly even though I anticipate both taking about the same amount of time. I anticipate needing a 3-8 minute video and then being able to write about a (long-ish) blog post's length response.

It was a beautiful day

I also have to say as a disclaimer that I am way more eloquent as a writer vs as an instructor so reading my blog and then expecting my lessons to come out in a similar manner will be disappointing to you. I can delete and rearrange things in the blog in a way I can't do in lessons.

Please email me (regentanzer at gmail) or find me on social media to talk about it. It might take me a second to get back to you, please forgive me. I'm introverted, exhausted by laundry, and until I get squared away with work and my current clients, I need to put those things first.

Finally Visiting TC

I went to the barn on Friday! Then needed to sit at home both Saturday and Sunday to recover... But let's focus on the barn.

TC was stoked to see me and I felt the same way! I was able to brush him and pick out all his feet before needing to sit down in the car, which I thought was pretty good. It gave him time to finish his grain.

So cute, very dirty though

I wanted to get him out, so I took him on a walk and made it just past the turnouts before I had to sit down again. I was sitting there with him grazing next to me when I realized that the turnouts were open and I could just put him in one and then sit and watch him. So I did! And it was way better for both of us.

He wandered over to the horses who live next to the turnout and played with them a bit, then wandered all over the turnout. A horse got put next to him and TC quickly trotted over to say hi and was probably over enthusiastic. He galloped around a couple of times and trotted up and down next to the new horse, who wanted nothing to do with him. All while the other three just watched and begged him to come back. Just ridiculous.

Wanting to hang with this friend

It was so fun to see him play and so fun to be out at the barn, even if I spent most of the time sitting in the dirt watching him in turnout. We've had some rain, but I think when the turnout dries out again, I'll make this a regular occurrence until I can start long lining him. My plan is that as I get better, he will get in better shape with long lining and ground work. When I'm clear to ride, we'll both be hopefully equally as out of shape.

It seems silly, but again that day knocked me out for the rest of the weekend. My fever is gone, but my temperature is actually now abnormally low, which is not unusual for an infection. I'm still finding a way to worry about it though, don't worry. And I've been nauseous nonstop since Friday, so that's been fun. Yay the next month is going to be an absolute blast.

These friends aren't interesting

I go into the doctor today (and then I'm hoping the nausea goes away so I can grab poke from my favorite place on the way back) for a check up. I was diagnosed at urgent care and they can only give you a three day note for work. I need something longer. The other good news is that HR has not totally rejected my desire to work from home. So I am going to have the doctor write a note that details what I am allowed to do, which is probably just everything but go into the office.

Fingers crossed HR okays this and I don't have to deal with the loss of income from going on critical leave. My awesome boss found me a contract job through our professional organization though, so that's helpful regardless! I'm excited to have some work to do and hopefully it will feel like I just decided that I was going to work from home for a month... and not ride... hrm.

An Unfortunate Diagnosis

It me! It not TC or Rico.

It's been radio silence here because I've been pretty sick for the last week and a half. It started out innocently enough with a headache and a low grade fever. I took tylenol and rode TC (he was so good I almost posted and ah I'm so excited about how things were going with him) at the beginning of last week while taking three days off of work since, you know, too-sick-to-ride and too-sick-for-work are two very different levels of sickness.

By Wednesday, I was feeling okay, so I went back to work Thursday. I felt kind of questionable at work all day, but it suddenly hit me really hard, and I mean "I don't know if I can drive home" hard that night when I was at a get together with coworkers.

I did get home but was trembling/shivering by the time I got myself into bed and took my temperature. 102.5. And theoretically that was the last day the fever was under 100 since (I assume I was fine that morning?).

This post brought to you by Office gifs

That was last Thursday. As I'm writing this, it's currently Tuesday afternoon (and now it's the evening and I'm posting this Wednesday morning). I'm writing it in pieces because even though I am laying in bed, focusing on the computer (which feels like it weighs 80lbs) and moving my fingers and deciding what to write is really taxing. Forgive me for any weirdness/typos/incomplete sentences.

I went to urgent care on Sunday, man is that place awful. First, I involuntarily watched way too much Shrek that day. Second, they kept it just cold enough for me to shiver the entire time, cool. Third, I got poked SO MUCH that day I am still feeling it. They poked my throat, my nose, and then they poked me and took a bunch of my blood. Ugh.

The good news about my urgent care visit is that I do not have pneumonia, strep, or a sinus infection. It's definitely a viral infection, she thought it was a flu. Or that I do hard drugs and have hepatitis. She told me that like six times. I ride horses and work in education, I cannot afford hard drugs. I apparently need to go back to the doctor when I'm better to make sure that my blood values all return to normal. Just to make sure I don't do hard drugs. K.

I had a whole post laid out about the weirdness that is my thoughts on a high fever, but I actually got called back into urgent care tonight (last night) because I wasn't improving. It was kind of a mistake and the doctor I saw said the flu could last for ten days and I was only on day six, but he said we'd rerun the tests to check in on my blood counts to see if he could give me an idea of when I would be feeling better. He was very nice and didn't accuse me of doing drugs, thank you sir! I didn't even shower before coming to see you!

They pulled blood like they did previously but from the other arm. It took them twice to get some probably because I was all messed up physically, mentally, emotionally.

At this point with two more days of some unknown 102.5+ fever, I was panicking. I haven't posted a ton about my anxiety, but I have it (I'm sure this surprises no one) and it manifests primarily in intrusive thoughts. I can mostly keep it at bay with CBD oil and keeping my brain/body active/tired, but sitting around for two days with "eh could be the flu, could be hepititis, could be a scary Amazon disease, who knows! You'll probably die and/or everyone else around you will die from getting it from you" was NOT GOOD.

Being sick AND anxious?? Hell yes, now I just
need to break my leg or something, the trifecta.

They finally got enough blood and looked at the CBC. Good news! My white blood cell count is going up! But my lymphocytes, which they finally looked at (damnit first doctor, don't just assume that I've done drugs, that's just how I look when I haven't ridden in a week), were abnormal. This generally points to, and after taking even more of my precious fucking blood out of my other arm, I was diagnosed with....

MONO.

What the fuck. I am thirty two fucking years old. THIRTY TWO. This is a teenager disease you get from playing too much spin the bottle. Well, turns out that I was too busy riding horses to be kissing all kinds of random people when I was a kid and now I can apparently balance both of those activities in my life.

In all seriousness, I have no idea where I got it from. Luckily for me, the only person I've kissed recently says he's had it before so he isn't going to get it again, and L lives far away now so I haven't been licking her as often as I usually do and not in the last month or two.

Prognosis is... six to eight weeks. I'm already in week two since I'm fairly certain my first day was at least May 5th, if not May 4th. I'm finding that there are pros and cons:

Pro: I can take tylenol to bring my fever down to do low key activities! (I had avoided this until now)
Con: Riding TC is not considered a low key activity and I could potentially risk internal organ damage by being jostled around, fucking organs

Pro: I can finally do all those things I've been meaning to do (learning Python, playing that video game I bought but have never opened, reading more books, etc)
Con: I will likely be too anxious to do those things and will instead lay in bed feeling bad for myself watching The Office

Pro: I'm allowed to be around humans!
Con: No licking humans. Also I should wear a mask and not sneeze/cough on people.

Pro: I can make hilarious jokes about mono, including the above
Con: Everyone is already sick of that joke

Me to mono
Everyone to me about my mono jokes

Pro: I'll save lots of money not driving around as much!
Con: I don't want to talk about my work's shitty disability and refusal to let me work remotely

Pro: I can probably go take TC on light walks and brush him and tell him how pretty he is, which is all he ever wanted me to do with him anyway
Con: I'll probably end up riding too early and then making myself sick again. Also I'm going to be sad to watch him lose all his muscles, oh well.

Pro: No pressure for All Breeds this year, not going to happen!
Con: No giant ribbon this year :( maybe I'll go for Second AND Third next year to make up for it. Or maybe I'll make my OWN ribbon that says "Survived a Disease Primarily Diagnosed in Teenagers" on it. I'll see about that. 

No but in all honesty, I'm devastated. I am going to hate not riding for the next at-least-four-weeks, I'm going to hate not working (I'm talking to HR and my boss tomorrow about my options), I'm going to hate not doing Crossfit. I have no idea what normal human beings do if they're not constantly driving around between jobs, working, riding horses, hiking, or weightlifting.

Also, seriously, all those times I exasperatedly wished that I could just sit in my bed without pants on with nothing to do for six weeks is BULLSHIT. I will never wish for such a horrible fate again. I haven't been wearing pants much, but it isn't glorious like I imagined it would be.

SO I'm not quite sure what is going to go down on this blog or in my life for the next four to six weeks (I'm counting on being on week two HARDCORE) and I'm putting off all major decisions for another week or two so I can see how my body handles it.

I'm very lucky that I was previously very healthy (damn gym making me so cardiovascularly fit), that I have great people in my life nearby who are willing to help me (and I can let them now that I know I just have to not sneeze on them), and that I know TC is in good hands/living in a big paddock/will enjoy his pampering/vacation.

I will hopefully be feeling better with the tylenol on board more often so I'm hoping I can go through my L-program materials and write some posts about that, be a bit more interactive on my blog and others' blogs, and generally feel more part of the blogosphere than I have recently. I'm also hopeful that next week I can start driving out to TC's paddock to hang out with him. My parents' house is 20 minutes away so I can also go over there to sit in the barn with Rico and hang out with their dog too. And I'm going to see if Kate will go see a movie in the middle of the day so we can try to be in the theater alone again and shush everyone around us.

In the mean time, I am taking all book, podcast, youtube, movie, tv show, blog, video game, and whatever else you can think of recommendations. I'm not sure how much energy I'll actually have but I will need some kind of entertainment! Today I plan on taking tylenol and actually taking the time to respond to everyone who has reached out, I have been SUPER bad about communication lately because I've been sick AND anxious, which is the actual worst.

April Crossfit Update

I'm not super on it with my blog these days, oops. It's fine, it just means that life is getting in the way (in a good way!).

April PRs
Power Clean - 95# (failed 100# boo)
Strict Press - 60#
500m Row - 1:59

This month was kind of hit or miss. There were weeks I didn't go at all and weeks I went three days in a row. I'm getting a little bit frustrated with the programming, I will go on.

I like Crossfit for several reasons:
1) I get coaching lifting weights.
2) I love the community/taking group classes.
3) It keeps me in shape.

This gym hits on two of three. The community is great and even though I haven't been attending as regularly, I'm still in good shape. I plan on destroying my hiking partner this weekend like I destroyed my family the last time I hiked.

The lifting weights thing... Crossfit isn't all about lifting weights, but I do get frustrated seeing bodyweight and cardio workouts nonstop with no skill/strength section. I can do cardio at home. I can do bodyweight stuff at home. I can't lift barbells at home (not yet at least).

I also like being able to eat ice cream all the time

So while I absolutely CRUSHED my 500m row time (down from 2:24 to 1:59)... and my heart rate is ridiculously low all the time... and I don't get tired doing anything anymore... I really miss the strength work. I love it. I'm not good at it (so therefore I need help), but I love it.

It especially frustrated me when we were asked to find our max clean and jerk the last week in April. Great! A strength day!

But not having done a clean and jerk in months meant that while my strength felt okay, my timing for the lifts was bad. I failed a lift a few times and my coach tried helping by telling me to keep my chest up (then told me to stop overthinking it... girl) but I really need a whole strength portion at a lighter weight to fix this faulty movement pattern of mine.

You can't change movement patterns as you're walking into the show ring... and I can't change my movement pattern AND go for a max. The jerk was the same thing. I can jerk more than I can clean, so the jerk never felt bad, but I was again asked to change my movement pattern when the weight got heavier.

All this week has been non-stop cardio with no barbell work, so I ended up just not going after Monday (maxing C&J and 500m row day).

I took a picture of this cheapo 30lb bar, apparently you can't
put more than 200lbs on it or it bends but like... I don't think my
downstairs neighbors want me lifting anything particularly heavy

My options are such:

- Go to this gym's non-cardio days as much as possible, utilize open gym, my work gym, and maybe even get a training barbell at home to practice
- Switch gyms to one that has a strength portion each day before the metcon
- Do nothing and continue to just complain about it

I'm thinking of trying 1 and 3 first. I do like this gym. The coaching is good, the equipment is nice, I have some friendly people I talk to (not friends with anyone like I was at my last gym though), the location is good, and the class times are great.

Plus, I do know that the cardio fitness makes me way happier outside of Crossfit (and hey it's fun to be just behind my coach for every cardio workout). But when I'm there staring at the barbells from my rower, I just want to kick the rower down, grab a barbell, and run out the door.

So I'm missing my old gym extra these days. We almost always had a strength portion, and there were separate strength classes to take as well. I could do 1-2 days a week of a metcon and then 3-4 days a week of strength and that was great for me! I was fit but I was having fun. I'd subject myself to the metcon knowing that the next day we'd be doing heavy deadlifts or squats.

We did have a recent survey go out so I did express my frustration there. Fingers crossed something changes! And maybe I'll go impulse buy that training bar.

Blog Hop Redux: Wish We Could

One day when I was wandering through my blog for no reason other than boredom (work gets slow in the summers yay 12 month assignment in academia), I realized I had written a ton of blog hops about Rico, but hadn't updated any of the subjects with TC in mind. So I decided to start doing them again now, but with TC!

This blog hop was originally thought up by Beka. I posted it about Rico in early 2015. The question was: Let's pretend that financial restrictions don't exist and logistics isn't a nightmare. If you could do anything with your Ponykins, what would you do?

I just want to wander around bareback forever

TC and I are basically doing what I want to do with him: mostly dressage with some trail riding and other fun stuff thrown in. If money or logistics weren't in the way, here is my ideal situation:


More Lessons
I'd love to take weekly lessons again! Maybe even do a lesson and a training ride each week (that's such an insane idea to me, having my trainer see my horse TWICE a week).


Camping
I've never been horse camping before and I'd love to try it! Unfortunately, with TC's stupidity about fencing and tendency to rear at the trailer, I think the only way for us to camp would be for me to bring a custom paddock type thing that would give him enough room and not allow him to climb it. I'm sure that's out of my budget.


More Trail Riding
I've been trail riding a lot this spring, but if I had all the money in the world, I could take some unpaid days to go trail riding during the week.

Soon the green hills will turn brown

More Shows
The main reason why TC and I do shows where we can just haul in and out is money. I just can't see being able to swing going to a show for a whole weekend, paying for stabling, hotel, eating out... when I can just drive him in and out and eat at home and he can stay in his paddock. If I had more money, I'd totally make a vacation out of showing!


Working Equitation
I'd love to pour money and time into doing WE with TC. I think he'd be good at it. If I could, I'd probably find a working equitation trainer to work with semi-regularly, set up a whole course at home, and put a little more time into it than I am now (which is basically nothing).


Invest More in Soundness/Happiness
TC is doing quite well in the health and happiness department. But, inspired by my post about Rico, I'd totally pour a ton of money into making him the happiest, healthiest horse ever.

For this, I'd love to have my own property so he could have a large private pasture, I'd love to get anything injected the minute it wants to be rather than waiting for it to be a necessity, I'd love to put him on ALL the supplements I want (and then hire someone full time to feed at my property because that's a lot of supplements), I'd love to have him chiropracted and/or massaged at least once a week, and the list goes on.