Eager for Spring

I'm so eager to get this year started with TC, I keep coming up with new things that I want to do and then I remember that it's mid-January and winter hasn't even hit us yet.

So, in an attempt to quell my impatience, I figured I'd write everything down that I'm thinking about doing this year.

- Trail ride more
Now that we're in a location where the nearest trail facility is 10 minutes away by trailer and free to use, I want to trail ride a TON this year. I really want to take him to the following places: Harvey Bear Ranch, Calero Ranch, Mt Madonna, Santa Teresa, that new place near Calero, that other new place that I went that one time with Rico, and maybe Quicksilver.

TC and I at HBR a few years ago

- Summer camp!
The WE trainer I worked with in the fall has a summer camp every year that I super want to try to get to this year. Kate went last year and said it was a great experience! I'd love to camp with TC.


- In hand work with previous trainer
My previous trainer from like ten years ago is exactly the kind of person I want helping me do TC's in hand work. She has impeccable timing and will understand when I tell her how pressure-averse TC can be. I'd really like to try a lesson with her and see how he takes to it. Her barn is also where my judge from our last schooling show boards, so I'll be able to stay overnight after my lesson and go on a trail ride with her!


- Haul to the ranch
My parents' place is another place I can haul to for free. TC has been there quite a few times, but I'd like to take him over there on occasion. Main goals there include being able to ride him on the road and possibly taking him up in their pasture. Unfortunately their trails are probably a bit steep for him. My pipe dream is being able to ride him all the way over to the vineyards like I used to do with Rico, but that is probably something that can happen like... next year.

HBR about a year ago, our last time there

- Ride with a couple of new trainers
Tanya only comes once a month. If I can swing it, I'd like to find someone else to ride with on occasion to fill in the time. Tanya is definitely who I want making the big decisions and helping me with the stuff at the edge of TC's ability, but I would love to find someone who would play with my biomechanics and help me address things like the corkscrew. Tanya is perfectly capable of those things too, but only seeing her once a month means that I want to


- Working Equitation
Even though TC and I are kind of terrible at this, I want to keep doing it with him. I think it's really good for his brain to have to deal with that kind of a situation. It might be fun to do a WE schooling show too!

- Show
I of course want to be showing. My main goal for showing is to do enough to get our scores for all breeds, which means four shows and eight scores, two of which need to be at 2-3. I'm thinking of doing a combination of one or two "bigger" (aka overnight) shows with a few cheap (one day at a barn nearby) shows in between. We'll see how it all plays out. But I am excited to get back in the show ring at Second level.


- Bombproofing Clinic
I'd love to get back to one of these clinics! The first one was such a catalyst for TC and my relationship. It'd be fun to go back feeling really confident.

This time we'll ride around it too

- L Program
At the end of this year, I enter the L program! It's being held starting in October in the Phoenix area. I was going to wait until there was one within driving distance but I just can't wait anymore, I want that knowledge and I want it NOW (or in ten months). Hopefully they can swing a part 2 and in maybe a year and a half I'll be an L graduate (hopefully with distinction and looking toward the r program).


For now I'm just sitting here listening to the rain come down and will be heading out to ride my very wet horse soon. But this year is looking super fun if I can even do half of these things!

Even More Changes

My first week on the job has been great, but fitting everything in around the job has been tough! I just have a ridiculous amount to do and what feels like no time to do it in. I've been working that side hustle (aka horse training) pretty well recently, and the weather being good means I haven't had even a half day on the weekend to get to my house and unpack.

 So I sit, late Sunday night, in my new apartment (complete with oven! is it weird that the first thing I want to do is make horse cookies?) with maybe 1/4 of things out of boxes. I got the most important things: television to entertain me while I unpack, bathroom set up since showering is necessary, and I have my bed made and ready for sleeping in. Everything else... can wait. Especially when there are horses to ride.

We went wandering elsewhere and he was so
happy to explore! 

TC has been so much fun to ride recently. I'm bringing him back into shape with a major focus on straightness and untwisting that corkscrew, and it's really paying off.

He feels so much more even now and has offered clean changes in the previously-terrible direction. Granted, all of those changes have been when he went to ditch me and play with a horse in turnout, but they did feel clean so I couldn't get mad at him.

Yesterday he did THREE clean (and aided for) changes in the good direction. I was thinking last week that I was fine with them not coming on until the end of 2019, but I'm not. I fucking love doing lead changes and this horse has shown enough talent for the collected work where I think that if we get them on now, I can develop them this year and potentially end next year at PSG. I just don't think the pirouettes are going to be too much of an issue with him (vs the changes will be given how much he wants to goof off in them). Maybe I'm TOTALLY wrong.

So we might be pushing out our rated Second level debut until May (vs March), but I'm hoping to do so with somewhat confirmed clean changes. Or I might change my mind next week. This is what happens when I'm left to my own devices with my own horses too often. Need lesson.

He got a hose down and then I let him graze for a bit... then he
went and immediately rolled

In addition to playing with buttons, actually prior to it, I really focused on the quality of the canter. I tend to ride it underpowered and then wonder why he isn't as through as he could be. My main goal in the canter is to develop it so that 1) at all times it feels like he could do a canter to walk transition or a flying change and 2) he isn't so on edge mentally when he's being ridden with the right amount of power to it. The reason why I've ridden it a bit underpowered has been that second point, he gets real on edge and is more likely to squeal and play. But I need to get him there and then train him rather than avoid it.

The canter felt good by the end, I mean, we got some great simple changes and those flying changes, but it took a lot out of both of us. I really want it to be more of our default. Granted, he isn't in full work yet so there's time!

Rode kind of late on Saturday and the sunset was pretty cool!

Since I got the okay from my boss to work OT as much as I'd like, I'm feeling way way better about my budget. Obviously my first instinct was to take ALL THE LESSONS. So I am thinking I will try to ride with someone at the end of this month. Then I have the Mary clinic and then Tanya is coming back into town. There are two trainers I want to ride with in the somewhat-immediate area. One is Tracey, of course, and the other is a new trainer I haven't ridden with yet. So we'll see! I'm excited at the idea that I could maintain my two-lessons-a-month routine.

Rico came up a touch lame on Sunday. My mom said he was galloping around like a maniac so we're either thinking it's that (my guess would be his collateral ligaments or coffin joints are bothering him since he has no swelling) or it's an abscess. Poor guy! He was looking better when I went to see him. I'm hoping he will be okay soon and when things calm down, that I will be able to ride him every weekend that I'm free. I do love that horse.

Fowl Shenanigans

As TC has grown up, external stimuli are bothering him less and less. What once set him off is now something to be ignored... as long as my right thigh is clamped on him.

There are still some things that set him off... evil feathered things. And my ride this morning was hilarious, so hilarious that I'm using my fifteen minute break to write about it real quick. Then I forgot to post it. Ah, blogging has been tough while living out of a box and actually having real work to do at work.

He's so brown right now, so dirty!

I got up late, having been up late hanging out with my brother and sister-in-law (it's so nice to be close to them again!), and was only able to put in a 30-40 minute ride (I try to stay on him for an hour). TC looked sleepy in the cross ties, he wasn't even pawing. I figured it'd be fine to hop and and just ride him instead of doing the ground work I've been doing at the new barn, since the only longeing arena isn't, IMO, TC-proof. Ground work does the same thing.

I hopped on and felt a hump in his back, which quickly deflated when I put my thigh on him. I do like that about him, you can really call him on his shit with your biomechanics.

The only other dressage rider was in there (wee DQ day) and so we chatted for a while about care of an older horse, rider biomechanics, and trainers in the area. I warmed TC up and he immediately was kind of lazy. Tbh, I don't usually like him when he's lazy, but I legit have not been able to put my leg on this horse for a while now, so I enjoyed it.

We did some leg yields with a focus on the corkscrew, rode some circles with a focus on my left thigh drawing him rather than blocking him, and generally had a nice relaxing ride. He was so good over his back and in the connection that I actually got to pump up his trot for the first time in a long time and oh man, there's a passage living in it now. I'm not going to put the passage on before the piaffe of course, but it's cool to be able to increase suspension when I want to.

When the turnouts are empty, I'll happily walk
him around there, but when they're full of horses,
we kind of avoid them

Everything was going well in trot, so I took a short break and figured I had about five minutes to canter before I needed to walk him out and put him away. I chatted with the other rider for a bit, watched her horse trot, then went to pick up TC to canter. Right about then a horse in turnout positively went GALLOPING across the turnout. For a while. TC watched curiously but didn't do anything.

What a grown up! Granted, had I had him cantering, I don't know if he would have been as good, but he was clearly not afraid or even all that impressed with that horse. Good boy!

I waited for that horse to graze (because like I told TC, I didn't have time to deal with any shit that morning, I was already later than I wanted to be to work) and then picked up the canter.

We got maybe one circle before TC squealed and bolted, not from the horse but from hearing a bird squawk overhead and then fly by the arena, creating a bird shadow (TC's arch nemesis). Then when I went to stop him, he erupted in bucks. I've gotten pretty smart about this behavior (self preservation at its finest I think). I can sit the bolt just fine, it's the bucks that will sometimes get enormous and if you stop him too fast when he's bucking, you'll pull him up into a rear. I managed to get him slow enough where I could feel the front end come up, then I turned him and kicked him back into canter. I was pretty proud of myself for how chill I remained about the whole thing, as I was talking to my dressage friend.

Back into work we did some counter canter, which he's super good at on the left lead, but on the right he just wants to change. Makes sense, he's so opened up on the left side of his body that the change is just right there. The right side is so shut down that he couldn't change LR if he wanted to.

To the left (on the right lead), we just worked on holding it. To the right (on the left lead), I worked on setting him up for the change without asking. I want him more even on both reins and on both hind legs before we touch that again. And honestly he doesn't really need them on until the end of 2019. I want to talk to Tanya about them I think. What I really want is mirrors.

covered on the left, turnouts on the right

Overall it was a good ride, though I was late to work due to canter shenanigans... thanks TC. Or should I thank the damn birds.

Settling In

I'm slowly settling into life back in the bay. Some things are way better, some things are not. I mean, that's just life, right? I want to focus on the good things.

Work has obviously been great. I've been back for three days (today is day number four) and already I understand why I made this move. Everyone has been so nice, no one has cried or slammed a door, I've had tons of work to do, and I have sent more emails and interacted with more people than I have in the last ten months or so.

I'm using my brain way more. At first it felt slow and fuzzy, and to an extent I am much slower at doing things that I used to do easily. I'm just rusty with the database. But things are coming back and I'm excited to start working on some cool projects.

Getting better about going on this loop 

TC has also been going so well at the new barn. He loves his paddock, he has settled in and seems way more relaxed there than I thought he would be. I love that we have some small hills to walk up and down every day even as we walk around the barn, it's been nice to incorporate some mild hill work. I'm really hoping to start walking him up around the track more, but it's currently a bit wet.

As for riding, I'm primarily addressing the corkscrew in his body, some of my biomechanical issues, and of course getting him back into shape. The corkscrew is getting way better. I have to make sure to keep my left thigh away (which is like, less away and more just not-clamped) and my left calf on, while keeping my right thigh on and using my right calf in a more upward motion rather than driving.

My tendency is to clamp my left thigh on and then when he goes to lean right, shove his right legs under him more with my left calf. Instead, I want to shove his legs under with my left calf and shove his withers up and over with my right thigh. Actually, way less shoving and way more just aiding him to do that.

He so wants to live with them

For fun though, we rode some lateral movements yesterday. I have been on a bit of a no-movement kick for a while, since October really. Once I realized we weren't going to show anymore and that TC's left hind weakness was still a thing, I decided to back up and fix the corkscrew. That plus the lessons in December with Alexis really reaffirmed the importance of the basics.

Still, I sometimes get nervous talking to friends and clients about TC's show plans this year. "I'm thinking about debuting him at Second level in late March," I say, having not pushed the counter canter or haunches-in button in four months.

So Wednesday I figured I'd ask him for some lateral work and see what it looked like. In truest TC fashion, he did all the movements seamlessly and I was left wondering if I should just play youtube videos of Valegro in his stall and not ride him until he's ready for the Grand Prix.

But really, it's that I've been working hard on my asymmetries and on his, so the lateral work (which he already knows how to do) is just getting easier and easier for him. He definitely has an easier way for each movement, but the bad directions feel pretty good at this point. 

He is so gross right now, hopefully it warms up enough to give
him a bath soon

The other thing I will say about my barn is that the people are really friendly! I'm used to being at the barn early in the morning before everyone else rides, but so far I've been joined by a bunch of people every morning that I've been there. It's kind of fun.

Mostly it's been good for TC to have to practice staying with me when things happen while we are riding. I think this barn is going to be very good for us come show season!

WW: Rico in Turnout

Rico has never been a fan of turnout. Not like TC at least. Rico often just acts confused as to why you have put him in a different place, and proceeds to nap there, or stare at things.

My parents got their arena fenced in, so they have been turning out their horses in it. I decided to put Rico in there to see what he did.

And what do you know, he did a lot of nothing. But he also got chased by me and gave me a lot of side eye for that.

You want me to WHAT

Gives no fucks about my sand kicking behavior

YOU AGAIN? Damnit

Sigh

He isn't the glorious Grand Prix horse he was four and a half years ago, but I'm so grateful that he's still able to sass the hell out of me when I want him to do stuff he doesn't want to do.

Last Day

Today is my last day of work! Monday I start my new job and I couldn't be happier about the prospect of rolling in on Monday morning (except there's so much paperwork...).

I will miss it here

Despite work being generally kind of shit the last 9.5 months, lots of good did come during those times, and I want today to be a positive day, so I'm going to list everything I can think of that happened.

- I bought a horse trailer!!!

- As such, TC learned to load into a straight load

- And we went on a lot of adventures, including several new facilities

- I started riding with Tanya

- TC and I competed at First level with scores to 73%

- We won All Breeds too!

- I restarted CrossFit

- I made a bunch of new friends

- And became way closer with some old friends

- I worked to increase my client base and was fairly successful

- Along those lines, I published a website, facebook page, and instagram for my business (with the help of my amazing friends)

- I learned that I'm stronger than I think (physically, emotionally, mentally) but that I also don't have to put up with bad situations even if I am capable of putting up with them

- I learned that despite hating my job, I really do love this industry and want to stay in it, even if it means moving

Especially here

Most of all, I learned that 40 hours a week is a lot to give away to someone who doesn't deserve it and that money doesn't buy happiness (but it does buy horse trailers which can be used to transport happiness though).

I'm really excited to make things work on the coast with people who deserve my 40 hours a week, despite being really sad to be leaving the Sacramento area. I really do love it up here and hope to be back to visit A LOT.

Creating Reinforcement Histories

Every now and then I teach a lesson where I end up feeling like I learned more, or clarified more for myself, than my rider did. This happened a few weeks ago and I want to talk about what came up.

Meeting some new friends at the new barn!

We got on the subject about reinforcement histories and reframing the interpretation of the horse's behavior. Pretty much any behavior a horse offers is a) a trial behavior to see if it results in reinforcement or b) a behavior that has been reinforced before. Period.

I mean, we know that horses do not do things because they are assholes, or because they know better but don't feel like it, or because they want to get out of work. Horses always take the path of least resistance. So the logical conclusion is that it is the rider's fault if they have accidentally reinforced behavior they don't like, created a pathway that is less resistant than the one they would rather the horse take. Or, it's the rider's fault for making the correct pathway more difficult to take than another one.

So instead of thinking "why are you being such a dick doing this behavior all the time?" with TC, I've been thinking "this is a behavior that has previously been reinforced, I will make sure that it does not warrant a reaction from me this time." In addition, I've been really reinforcing the behaviors I do want to occur more often, like going on the bit and being in front of the leg.

It doesn't look like it, but I pressure washed my
trailer over the holiday and it's so clean! But my
phone is real sharp so can see all the spots I
missed, thanks for nothing, Google

With this in mind, the main goal in this lesson was to solidify the baseline gaits. To stop having roundness come from the rider making adjustments but rather to be a state of being that the horse is in at all times.

Aids should be left for specific movements that the rider wants to turn on and off during a ride. I don't want my horse to be in shoulder-in all the time but I do want my horse to be straight all the time. I don't want my horse to be in extended trot all the time, but I do want my horse to be forward all the time. All of these "all the time" things are contained within the realm of baseline gaits. And for those baseline "all the time" things, they should not be aided for, but rather be a state that the horse is constantly in while being ridden.

Just like the horse habituates to the girth and the rider's weight on their back, they should kind of habituate to being in roundness, in straightness, into the bridle. The "aid" for roundness and straightness should be the rider's weight in the saddle and the rider's leg around the horse and the rider's establishment of a steady connection in the reins. Not pushing with the seat, moving the bit in the mouth, shaking the horse off the bit into artificial lightness, or nagging the horse forward with the leg.

Wandering around the new barn

Horses often perform what are called superstitious behaviors. A horse paws before the feed truck comes and then think that pawing causes the feed truck to come, so they paw more. Maybe the pawing only "works" when certain other signs appear too. I have a hilarious example of TC developing a superstitious behavior. We were working on changes and I was praising him after his attempts. I noticed though, that every time we passed a tree he'd shy away at it, shake his neck, then I'd send him across to the change and praise. I realized that he thought the entire series was what I was praising. First you shy at the tree, then you shake your neck, then you do confusing things with your legs, then you get praise.

So a rider that aids and aids and aids the horse for baseline behaviors that we want apparent at all times is leaving way too much room for superstitious behaviors. First the rider wags the head, then we go sideways, then we do a circle, then finally on the bit and praise. If classical conditioning is used instead of operant conditioning, the superstitious behavior is less likely to occur. I am simply waiting for the horse to offer something like roundness and then shaping that behavior with reinforcement (scratching the wither mostly, but I did clicker train a lot of baseline behaviors in TC).

Not being an asshole in the cross ties, he's
actually growing up!

But how to create this? This horse made things easy actually. She is highly motivated by reinforcement and very willing to trial behavior. TC is like that too. He wildly guesses even if he thinks he will be wrong (since the only time he gets punished is when his wrong answer is dangerous, he doesn't get punished for guessing, so he is more likely to feel comfortable guessing).

I got on, I established contact, I wrapped my leg around her, and I waited. For a long time. Eventually she went to root lightly (a behavior that has been reinforced probably by the rider getting the reins yanked out of their hands accidentally before) and I scratched her wither for putting her neck in a more roundness-oriented place. She tried several other behaviors that have clearly been reinforced: spooking at something, leaning off to one side, slowing down, and putting her head up, before the neck went down again. Another scratch. Another long wait.

After about forty minutes, I had her pretty committed to roundness without my involvement. She knew that was a place she could go for the reinforcer she had been searching for. I put her rider on and we worked through all the same things.

He really wants to go in that field... 

By the end of the ride, which was over an hour, we had a horse who was solidly into the bridle, swinging over her back, relaxed, and most importantly, confident that she knew what her job was. She wasn't trialing undesirable behavior anymore, she had found what she wanted, which was praise, and she had enough of it to keep her motivated to continue to perform this particular behavior for however long rather than trying to find another behavior that led to a reinforcer.

Homework was to do this every day. For months. Until the horse comes out of the stall confident with what her job is. For weeks. Then aids can start to be applied. Movements can be played with. But always the baseline gaits first. Always.

The cross ties are a step up, so he looks gigantic
all the time now

For me, saying outloud that there is no aid for roundness was what surprised me, when I said it I stuttered for a second because I was like "what the FUCK did you just say, Megan, there is no aid for roundness? Why do people pay you to do this?" and then had to restate it again to let it sink in for me (this is part of the reason why I love teaching so much! I feel like my subconscious thoughts come to the surface). How many times do we hear "hold the outside rein and soften the horse to the inside" or "slide the bit in the mouth" and all that stuff? Hey, I've TAUGHT a lot of that in the past, like, the recent past.

A lesson like this is tricky to teach a lot of the time (not this time), people want an answer, they want to hear about some black magic aid that will put their horse on the bit once and for all. They do not want to hear that they have to sit and wait every day. For months. They do not want to hear that their horse isn't just being an asshole when they yank the reins out of the rider's hands or shake their neck at them or refuse to do something that the rider is convinced they're asking for in a clear way.

TC's new bff. Look at his SUPER CUTE EARS, he smashes
them forward like this when he's happy

But really, creating reinforcement histories is how horses learn, it's how we all learn. So I need to reinforce the things I want the horse to do, and stop reinforcing things I don't want the horse to do. It is that simple. It is that easy. It does take a LONG time. But when I get on TC, I do not think about forward, I do not think about roundness, I do not hope anything (other than that a leaf doesn't blow by us lol), I know without a doubt that he will be on the bit. Not because he's some perfect being that was born on the bit, not because of some black magic that I'm doing.

But because we put in the work, he had the reinforcement history. Going on the bit has been a thing that has gotten him way more praise than anything else in his life. And so he goes. On the bit. All the time.

And so now, looking upward, as I get really tempted to pull him into collection or make him stay straighter... I have to stop and remember the reinforcement histories, and just keep building on them.